wedding speech groom order

The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Don't leave anyone or anything important off your list of thank yous.

The groom's wedding speech is often about covering all bases. It doesn't have the bravado and general LOLs of a best man speech , the gushing and poignant words of a bridesmaid speech , or all the nostalgia and tear-jerking words of a father of the bride or groom speech. Instead, a groom's speech is half admin, half emotion; kind of like an Oscar acceptance!

A chance to shout out the wedding party, thank the ushers, and tell your new in-laws how chuffed you are to be part of the family. To help you write your speech - and to make sure you don't leave anyone out - we've put together a handy groom's wedding speech checklist . You'll thank us later!

A groom doing a speech solo is more common, but we've also seen lots of couples do their thank you speech together , as well as brides making speeches too ( more ladies on the mic please !). Our list covers all bases and standard family structures, but tweak it as is appropriate for you and your crew. We can guarantee if you hit all the points on the list below, then you will have covered all your bases. Hopefully it comes in handy for whatever kind of wedding thank you speech you're making.

Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

(In no particular order, but this order makes for a nice crescendo!)

• Thank the guests for coming - give a special shout out to anyone who's come a long way.
• Thank any staff or suppliers who worked on the day - only those present.
• Thank the celebrant - if present.
• Thank anyone who helped in the lead up to the day (outside of the wedding party and immediate family) - any one who gave lifts, stitched bunting, glued centrepieces, etc.
• Thank anyone who took part in the day itself - ceremony readings , music, wedding cake baker, etc.
• Mention your new parents in law and siblings - this is a good time to tell them how happy you are to join the family, how welcome/terrified they made you feel, how you promise to be there for their son or daughter/brother or sister..
• Mention your siblings  - be specific about things they helped you with or special memories. This is also a good time to mention any other special family members, grandparents, step-parents, etc.
• Mention your parents - if both your parents are present, thank them both individually, usually an anecdote about the kind of person they've taught you to be goes down well.
• Thank your wedding party - make sure both sides get a mention, though it's fine to gush a bit harder about your best man!
• Thank your other half - for marrying you, for looking fabulous, for being wonderful, and all the other good things you can think of. Remember to tell them all about why you love them and why you can't wait to get started with married life!

Need more help with your wedding speeches - we've got you covered!

• 30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
• How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines
• How to Stop Your Wedding Speeches Going on Too Long
• The Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?
• 9 Ways to Shake Up Your Wedding Speeches
• How to Give a Flawless Best Man Speech
• Everything You Need To Play Wedding Speech Bingo

Listen & Subscribe to The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast

Episode 22: wedding speeches 101.

You can listen to the One Fab Day Wedding Podcast wherever you get your podcasts , and search them on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Image credits

Tomasz kornas photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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How to Write The Perfect Groom’s Speech (With Examples)

Author: Hollie Bond

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How to Write a Grooms Speech

Funny groom's speech ideas, emotional groom's speech ideas, unusual groom's speech ideas, famous groom's speech ideas.

No idea where to start when it comes to making a speech on your big day? We’ve compiled all the best tips and inspiration to help you write and deliver the best groom’s speech ever.

The groom’s speech is always a highlight at a wedding. It’s a chance for guests to hear all the romantic and heartfelt sentiments that you, as a newlywed, will be experiencing.

It’s also a feel-good part of the day where you get to acknowledge all your guests and thank individuals who have helped you bring this special day together. Everyone in the ‘audience’ will be friends and family, so put any public speaking nerves aside, as everyone will be willing you on to do your best and if you stumble over your words or well up when you’re talking about your new wife or husband – well, they’ll just love you even more!

We’ve rounded up 40 of the best groom’s speech ideas, with inspiration for funny, emotional, and unusual speeches, plus examples from famous grooms, to help you write your own Oscar-worthy speech.

What should the groom say in his speech?

Good news! The groom’s speech is one of the easiest speeches to write and deliver as it is essentially just one big thank you.

A groom’s speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.

The other main focus of the groom’s speech is to lavish praise and compliments on his new wife (or groom) and to tell them how happy he is to be married. Finally, the groom should raise a toast to his new wife or husband.

How long should a groom’s speech be?

Any speech at a wedding, including the groom’s speech, should be no longer than ten minutes. When written down this is approximately 1500 words, but make sure to time yourself before the big day in case you’re a particularly slow or fast speaker.

Ten minutes is the ideal length to get across everything you need to say, but not so long that your guests get bored and start to fidget. If you’re not a confident speaker you can always just say a few lines lasting a couple of minutes.

Less is definitely more when it comes to speeches. That said, if it’s too short you could sound flippant! Anywhere between five and ten minutes and you’re in safe territory.

1. Don’t be too formal

Unless you’re known for your love of a bit of pomp and circumstance then you don’t suddenly have to become the master of all things etiquette and stuffy speech-making just because it’s your wedding day. Your guests will want to hear you speak in your usual way, and as long as you cover the expected formalities like thanking everyone for coming, both sets of parents, the bridal party, and anyone who went above and beyond to help you with something like making a cake, then you don’t have to worry about anything else.

2. Focus on the start

If you can get guests smiling from the very beginning of the speech, then both you and your guests will feel relaxed and enjoy the rest of it. Have a think about something humorous that specifically relates to your guests or wedding situation rather than an obvious/ heard-100-times-before gag. Perhaps you’re known for your non-stop chatter, so you could open with “I know you’re all thinking you should take a loo break before I start talking, but I promise I’ll keep this as short (as I can!)…”

3. Don’t forget the main purpose of the speech

A romantic and heartfelt ode to the person you’ve just married should be the main focus of this speech. Try to avoid just saying empty words that anyone could say like “she/he is wonderful, beautiful, kind” etc. Think of specific things that your other half has done that makes you proud/ really love them/ that makes them unique. Anecdotes and stories that highlight a personal trait are the best way to do this.

4. Be romantic, not cheesy

Try not to fall into the trap of sounding like a compilation of all the lines you might find inside a cheesy Valentine’s Day card. Instead of “I’m so lucky to have found you” think about “My parents always told me nothing good would come of always being late, but I’m so glad to say I proved them wrong. I missed my train (as usual) that fateful day and the best thing ever came out of it… you.” Or a simple list of all the things that you particularly love about your partner, from the way they constantly fiddle with their hair to the way they talk to your dog like it’s a human.

5. Don’t give out gifts

This isn’t prize-giving at school and giving out weddinggifts to bridesmaids and ushers etc. will just take up valuable partying time. Give your bridal party their gifts in the morning when you’re all getting ready as it’ll be more personal in private.

6. Think about timing

A speech around the 7 – 10 minutes mark is considered the perfect amount of time for a groom’s speech (written down that’s about 1200 – 1400 words). Any less and you’ll sound a bit flippant. Any more and guests will start getting bored.

7. Don’t go into massive amounts of detail

We all know someone that tells a story as intricate and descriptive as a Tolstoy novel and how we automatically glaze over as soon as they start speaking. Don’t be that person. Your guests don’t want War and Peace – they want a nice easy to listen to a speech that doesn’t mentally challenge them, especially once they’re a few drinks down.

8. Find the perfect quote

If you’re not a wordsmith, let someone else more qualified sum up your feelings for you. There are plenty of amazing quotes from authors and famous orators out there and one or two of them may be exactly what you need to succinctly put all your feelings about the day and your partner into one neat sentence. Just make sure to acknowledge the original author!

9. Give your partner a promise

A lovely way to be funny and also heartfelt at the same time is to make a promise or two to your partner in front of your guests. Don’t just repeat your vows here, promise something that is unique to her/him. Perhaps she’s an avid rock climber and you’re more of a couch potato? Promise you’ll learn to love her crazy hobby. Maybe you’re not exactly Heston Blumenthal in the kitchen? Promise you’ll learn to cook your partner more than beans on burnt toast. Perhaps she/he is the world’s greatest Swiftie. Promise you’ll learn the lyrics to all their favourite Taylor Swift songs… you get the idea.

10. Prepare the delivery

The biggest mistake you can make is to write a great speech on paper and then not read it out loud before the big day. You need to practice talking slowly and confidently and leaving little pauses after funny bits (for any of the slower guests to get it!). Also, some written sentences don’t sound great when spoken, so reading out loud will help you to iron out any clunky syntax. Plus, you’ll want to know the speech almost by heart so that you don’t have your head in a piece of paper reading word-for-word on the day. Eye contact with your guests is one of the most important parts of delivering a successful speech.

You don’t have to be the next Michael McIntyre, but giving your guests a giggle and making them smile is the quickest way to make both them and you feel at ease with the speech.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to pepper your speech with gags and silly one-liners to make it funny. Instead, just focus on things that are unique to you as a couple or for the audience (perhaps the region you’re from for example) and have a bit of fun at your/ their expense. Be careful not to reference something that only a few members of the audience will understand as that will very quickly alienate your other guests.

Here are ten funny speech ideas to take inspiration from:

Focus on your differences

Comparing your differences can be an easy way to make the guests smile. Are you obsessively tidy and your new partner a bit of a slob perhaps? Can you cook like a pro while they can’t even heat soup without burning the place down? Whatever your differences, exaggerate them and make a joke out of them to get guests giggling.

Tell the crowd something they don’t know

Do you know some funny things about your bride/groom’s past that others in the audience might not? Now’s a good time to reveal that she/he did some hilarious hobbies or geeky things as a child. Perhaps they have a funny secret crush or can do a really odd trick.

Exaggerate your weaknesses

Putting yourself down and acknowledging something everyone knows about you can be a good way to make guests smile. E.g. “Would you believe it? The bride/ groom has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a bald, beer-swilling Insurance Broker from Newcastle is a better option instead.”

Here’s a good example of a funny, self-deprecating groom’s speech:

Make a joke about the wedding itself

“Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my in-laws are presented with the final bill.”

“I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”

Mother-in-law jokes

These always go down well if you actually get on with her! Reference something unique to your mother in law like her shopping obsession or how long she takes to get ready perhaps. Or keep it classic with: “I’ve been told that this is usually one of the only times in a man’s life when he can be around his wife/husband and mother-in-law and not be interrupted – so hang in there, I’m going to take full advantage.”

“In [in-law’s names], I have found the perfect in-laws. I always cringe when I hear jokes about difficult mothers-in-law because my own experience has been far from that stereotype. [Turn to in-laws and whisper audibly] Did I read that right? Please don’t hurt me…”

Tell a story

If your first date, engagement or the time you asked the in-laws if you could marry their daughter/ son has a funny element to it, go ahead and tell the story. Just remember not to kill the humour with too many details.

Talk about your partner’s quirks

Does your wife/ husband have any weird habits? Divulge a few to the guests but make it romantic by saying how much you love her/him even though they… still get drunk after one glass of wine/ still go to bed with a teddy bear at the age of 33/ always get the words to songs wrong/ always have to be the last person on the dance floor even when the lights come up…

Make the thank yous funny

Instead of a boring list of thank yous, try and inject a bit of fun. For example: “I’d like to thank my mother in law for passing on such wonderful traits to her daughter; her kindness, her humour, though unfortunately, an unwavering support for Arsenal has also slipped down the genetic line.”

Trip the guests up

Everyone expects the first line of the groom’s speech to mention his new wife/ husband. Momentarily confuse them with a sentence like this: “My ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming today” – and then pause while they work it out and laugh.

Use props or videos

If there’s a funny prop or a video that you can show during the speech go for it, plus holding something or giving yourself a break in video form can help stop the nerves.

Leave guests guessing

It’s fine to reference the stag do , but don’t tell a long and boring story about something that happened while you were on it. That’ll only be funny to the stags. It’s best to mention something and leave the end of the story untold as a cliff-hanger so that guests can fill in the blanks with all manner of funny thoughts.

As a groom, you have free reign to get emotional and if you’re not normally an emotional person it will really surprise and delight guests as they will realise just how much the day and marrying your loved one means to you.

You don’t want to get too over the top though and make your guests feel uncomfortable. Keep the really mushy stuff for your bride or groom on your honeymoon and instead focus on the sort of emotional sentiments that will make guests smile.

Here are some ideas for how to make your groom’s speech just the right amount of emotional:

Look guests in the eye

The quickest way to get guests to buy into what you’re saying and to feel the raw emotion of your words is by looking them in the eyes as you deliver each sentence. If you’ve had a difficult time in the run-up to the wedding and are really grateful for the support they’ve all shown, say so while looking sincerely at the guests you really want to show your gratitude to.

Put your heart into the thank yous

If you don’t want to make the thank yous funny or witty, how about making them emotional by not just thanking the person for what they did, but by explaining how much it meant to you.

Mention absent friends

If a member of your family or a friend isn’t at your wedding and is greatly missed then make sure to raise a toast to their memory. You don’t want to be morbid, but a few words about how much the person/ people meant to you both and how much you miss them, followed by inviting all guests to raise a toast to them is a lovely emotional gesture.

Let yourself feel the emotion

If you feel yourself welling up don’t stop the emotion – guests won’t mind if your voice breaks a bit or if you have to take a deep breath. In fact, it just shows how much the words actually mean to you.

Be creative when it comes to describing your partner

If you want to inject emotion into your speech, don’t just say sentences that could describe any bride/ groom. Think specifically about your partner and be poetic when you talk about them and it will be much more sincere than just saying: “My new wide is beautiful” or “My husband is kind”. Here’s a lovely example from a groom’s speech about how to reference your new spouse:

Want to make sure your speech is unforgettable? Make it unusual and unique with some of these stand-out suggestions…

Rap the speech

Got a hidden talent for rapping (or if you don’t it can still be hilarious), then why not attempt to rap the speech instead. You could do part of it normally, before breaking out into a fun rap perhaps.

Sing the speech

Got a good set of pipes on you? How about singing your speech instead? Choose a famous song and then write personalised lyrics to fit. You can make it funny or heartfelt – whatever suits your personality best. Having the words on PowerPoint beside you can help in case some guests miss the words.

Write your speech on blackboards around the room

If the idea of public speaking really is too much for you and threatens to ruin your whole wedding day, why not write it up on blackboards that can be displayed around the venue for guests to read instead. You could even pre-record a video of you reading the speech too. Guests who know and love you will appreciate the effort and know how stressful making a speech in person would be for you.

Speak in a different language

Are you marrying someone who is originally from another country and has another language that you don’t speak? Impress both your new wife or husband and especially their family members who make not speak your language by learning some lines in secret in their language. Starting the speech in English for example before changing seamlessly into French will wow your audience and be very emotional for your new partner.

Get other people to do it for you

Track down important guests who can’t make it to the wedding or some famous people if you can and ask them to say something special that you can record and play as part of the speech.

Borrow the words

If you don’t want to make a traditional groom’s speech, how about performing a poem or reading out the lyrics to a song that means a lot to you as a couple (just don’t make it as awkward as Pam and Mick’s rendition in Gavin & Stacey!)

Write a story

Why not make your groom’s speech sound like the start of a novel or children’s story in a ‘once upon a time’ format, but insert yourself and your new spouse as the main characters. After all, your wedding is part of your love story and you can end your speech with a toast to your happily ever after.

Get your guests involved

Don’t like the idea of all eyes being on you? Surprise your wife/ husband by prepping guests beforehand to each say a sentence. Or you can encourage audience participation by turning your speech into a quiz about you as a couple/ the wedding day.

Perform a musical mash-up

Make it themed.

If your bride or groom has a love for something specific, theme your entire speech around it. Take these maids of honour who did a Disney medley as an example:

Tom Fletcher from band McFly did one of the most famous and unusual groom’s speeches of all time. If you can hold a tune why not replicate his speech with your own song…

Nick Jonas went down the heartfelt route for his groom’s speech at his wedding to Priyanka Chopra in 2018 and nailed the thank you to his new mother in law.

Mark Wright from TOWIE gave way to the tears when talking about new wife Michelle Keegan at their wedding: “Not only are you beautiful, but you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You truly are sensational in every single way.” Take inspiration from his touching way to be emotional without making everyone feel awkward.

Not a groom’s speech, but you could definitely steal the idea from the best man speech of Danny McKenzie at footballer Jamie Milligan’s wedding – he pretended he had forgotten the speech and then played a video that “showed” him racing through fields and various places James Bond-style to retrieve it…

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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The great thing about modern weddings is couples have the choice to lean to tradition or do things their own way. 

Speech Order at a Wedding

At most weddings, the speeches don’t kick off until the reception (either before or after dinner), and while it may not seem like the biggest deal, having an order as to who says what and when will ensure smooth sailing and good speech etiquette.

As it’s your wedding, you and your partner get the say in what’s what, and you can either embrace or shunt tradition. Many modern weddings include speeches from the bride, the mother of the bride, the mother/father of the groom, the maid of honour, and anyone else the couple would like to speak at their wedding.

Wedding Speech Order

Father of the bride speech.

We know families can be complex, and sometimes, the father of the bride may not be present at the wedding for a variety of reasons, in which case, someone else can stand in. 

Father of the Bride Speech: Dos & Don’ts

Groom speech.

Next up, the groom will traditionally say a few words. Ideally, the groom will take on a few thank-yous, as well as pay a nod to the father of the bride in regards to his speech. 

Groom Speech: Dos & Don’ts

Best man speech.

Ideally, the best man’s speech should be injected with humour, banter, and anecdotes about his BFF (the groom), and should have everyone giggling into their champagne.

Best Man Speech: Dos & Don’ts

Other toasts/speeches.

The above speeches are the traditional top 3, but it’s not uncommon for others to say a few words, or even just make a toast. This can be:

Alternative Wedding Speech Givers

Some of us say, “to heck with tradition” and want to do our weddings our way! For those wanting to wander a more contemporary wedding speech path, we’ve included a guide on how to smash those alternative speeches.

Bride Speech

Speech ideas for the bride, maid of honour speech, speech ideas for the maid of honour.

Photography by Wildling Weddings

LBGTQ+ Wedding Speeches

Wedding speeches: top tips.

The traditional speech order at weddings goes as follows:

The toast-giver is usually the allocated wedding host. In traditional times, this would be the father of the bride. However, nowadays, it can be any member of the bridal party, including the mother of the bride, maid of honour, best man, or even the registrar/celebrant. 

Pin Wedding Speech Guide

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• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception? How to Write a Wedding Toast Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech How to Write a Best Man Toast Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech What to Know About a Newlywed Toast Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

Public Speaking Experts Share Their Top Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech

Check out their best examples and advice to learn how to knock it out of the park.

Photo by Kurt Boomer

In This Article

Most people would agree that public speaking isn't easy, and this is especially true when you're feeling the added pressure that comes along with giving a speech at a loved one's wedding. Not only do you have the attention of dozens (if not hundreds!) of guests you probably don't know, but you're also trying to appeal to a group of people in a wide range of ages from all different phases of the couple's lives. What's more, you want your speech to delight the couple of the hour and be as appealing to your group of friends as it to the newlyweds' grandparents. All in all, it's a tough task.

Before you panic, know that we're here to help. Ahead, we're sharing a comprehensive guide on what you should include in your speech , how to nail your delivery, and questions to consider to get the brainstorming process started—all from noteworthy speakers, well-established speechwriters, and wedding planners (who have seen it all).

Wedding Speech Template

Every great wedding speech has one thing in common: the right flow. Factor in these guidelines to help you find your own organic rhythm.

Open With a Statement or Question

Don't lead with a joke or a reference to how nervous you are. "The goal is to engage your audience, not make it a boring one-way message," says award-winning motivational speaker Jaime Pfeffer . "You'll lose them if you do this."

Introduce Yourself

After your opener, introduce yourself, says Fallon Carter , a wedding planner, even designer, and professional speaker. "A lot of times, people don't know who is speaking, and they don't know their relationship to the bride or the groom," she says. "It's really important to identify yourself, so make sure you've prepared something."

Address Your Audience

As speaker and life strategy coach Mark Black, CSP , points out, focusing on yourself only enhances nerves. "Instead, concentrate on your audience and how you want them to feel. This will help you to speak from the heart, allowing your speech to do what it's supposed to do: Make the couple feel special while also engaging the audience."

Focus on a Few Points

Seasoned speaker Susan Bender Phelps, CEO of Odyssey Mentoring & Leadership , says her top guideline is to select one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with no more than three short stories to illustrate each of these points (or that one point). "The simple, succinct story or stories where the bride and groom are the hero will work best." This is an excellent way to structure your speech and keep your message focused.

How Long Wedding Speeches Should Be

The ideal length for a speech is three to five minutes, with five minutes being the absolute maximum you should speak for. That's it. "I’ve never been to a wedding where anyone said, 'That was a great wedding, but the best man speech was just too short and that  ruined  it,'" says David Litt , the speechwriter for former President Barack Obama and author of Thanks, Obama .

Carter agrees: "I always say anywhere between two and five minutes—and no more than five minutes," she says. "You want to keep things short and sweet." It's just as important to keep in mind when the speech will take place when determining length, since toasts are often timed with meal courses: "Be mindful of how long a course generally takes or how long it takes people to eat," Carter adds, noting that most courses last between 15 and 20 minutes and that several speeches have to fit inside each window. "If there are other people speaking, you want to be mindful and give them space."

Wedding Speech Tips

Now that you've established the right framework for your words, take note of these essential tips for acing the delivery from a few speaking pros.

Rehearse Regularly

The better prepared you are, the more confident you'll be and the better your speech will be, says author and professional speaker Barry Maher . A good rule of thumb is to practice the speech enough that you can remember the points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out to the crowd and make eye contact every so often.

Record Yourself Practicing

Use your phone to take a video of yourself practicing, suggests Kate Kenfield , speaker and sex educator. "It can be a little uncomfortable to watch yourself, but you'll be able to identify distracting mannerisms, such as the verbal pauses 'um,' 'uh,' and 'like'." It's also a good idea to practice your speech in front of someone else. "A second opinion can help you craft your piece and make it that much stronger," she says.

Don't forget body language! Rehearse the speech in front of a mirror and notice things like your facial expression, eye contact, and hand position.

Avoid Alcohol

Although it may be tempting to look for some liquid courage, alcohol definitely won't do you any favors, warns keynote speaker Amy Morin , author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do . "It may cause you to slur your speech and forget your lines, so wait until after your toast to celebrate," she advises. If you need a drink to loosen up the nerves or can't refrain from participating in a toast without being rude, stick to one glass of Champagne before you address the crowd.

Use Nerves to Your Advantage

A little nervousness can actually liven up your speech. "I get worried if I'm not a little nervous," says Maher. "I'll actually try to make myself a little tense to get my energy level up." The key is to harness that energy and communicate it in a positive, genuine way; tensing up to the point that you forget your words or panic won't make for a great presentation.

Be Yourself

Keep in mind that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Trying too hard to force the funny can yield the opposite of the desired effect, cautions Matt Dalley, co-founder of Simply Eloped . "I've noticed that keeping it short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and coming across as authentic and focused on the couple is something we are all capable of and generates some very wonderful moments," he says.

Never Embarrass the Newlyweds

It's a wedding toast, not a roast. While this should go without saying, keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of it, and remember that grandma and possibly a few colleagues are in the audience, notes Laurie Battaglia , a keynote speaker and workplace strategist. "It's okay to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but ask yourself if you'd like 200-plus of your closest friends knowing that story about you."

Use Your Notes

Reading your speech straight from a piece of paper is a big no-no. However, having a couple of note cards handy is encouraged. "You're likely to be nervous, excited, and exhausted, which can make you forget your lines," explains Morin. "The audience won't care if you glance at your notes. In fact, there's a good chance they won't even notice."

Wedding Speech Brainstorm Ideas

Need some inspiration? Ask yourself these questions to get the brainstorming process going.

• Who will speak before you? After you? How will this affect the content of your toast? (Perhaps you want to include a reference to their speech, thank them for an introduction, or introduce the next speaker).
• Is there someone you should thank for making the event possible and inviting you to speak?
• What would you want to hear in this speech if you were in the audience?
• Is there a favorite story or memory that the couple would want you to share with their friends and family?

Wedding Speech Examples to Make Your Own

So, what does it look like when all these elements come together? Wedding vow and speechwriter Katelyn Peterson , owner and creator of Wedding Words , offered us three examples of successful toasts to inspire your own.

Maid of Honor Wedding Speech Example

"Hi, I’m Maya, the bride’s older sister . With Lucy being three years younger, we fell right into our respective roles as sister-rivals growing up. We constantly fought over stolen clothes, monopolizing the phone back when landlines were a thing, and what boy band to blare from the car speakers. I’m still Team Backstreet Boys while Lucy is forever indebted to NSYNC.

Looking back on those memories, I should have stepped up and granted Lucy permission to wear my favorite sweater for picture day, to hand her the phone once in a while, and to let her play, 'Bye Bye Bye.' Even I can admit that’s a good one. But despite Lucy being the younger sister, she has always been more patient, more accommodating, and more thoughtful than me. And that’s because when it comes to the people she loves, she’s all in.

She’s the one to prioritize their desires. She’s the one to compromise first. And, she’s the one to support their dreams as if they were her own. 

This is why it makes me so happy to know that Lucy has found a home in David. He matches her in compassion, thoughtfulness, and warmth. And I know he’ll spend his life prioritizing her desires, being ready to compromise, and supporting her dreams as his own.

Cheers to Lucy and David! May you always feel loved because you always put each other first."

Best Man Wedding Speech Example

"Hello, everyone. My name is Luke and I’m the best man . I met Robert eight years ago when I became his neighbor. His reputation preceded him as I had heard about the 'Block Party King' before my closing papers were inked. 

Rob has never been the guy to wear fancy clothes. In fact, I’m still in shock seeing him in that tux tonight. And he’s never been the guy to show off even though the work he’s put into his vintage Mustang could make Henry Ford himself envious.

But when it comes to cooking, he should receive an award. His pulled pork is a staple at our summer block parties and his homemade barbeque sauce has remained our neighborhood’s best-kept secret. But the most satisfying part about his delicious dishes is that there’s always plenty to go around. And Rob makes sure your plate is never empty. I have no idea how he pulls it off, but Rob has a covert ability to scoop seconds onto your plate without you ever seeing him do it. I hope you all came hungry tonight, folks. You’ve been warned! 

The first time I met Jasmine I could immediately tell she was an amazing person. She laughed at his jokes which I never thought anyone would get. She supported his career and the nonstop travel involved. But most importantly, whenever we’re all hanging out, Jasmine is the one always topping off Rob’s plate with more pasta, more chicken, more of everything. When she’s around, it’s never empty. 

And that’s when I saw what a perfect match they were for each other. I know they will always put each other first, make sure their needs are met, and will never allow the other to go hungry.

So let’s raise our glasses to toast the newlyweds! As you begin this next chapter together, may your plates and your hearts always remain full."

Father of the Bride Wedding Speech Example

"Good evening, family, and friends. I’m Daniel Lee, the father of the bride. I’d like to welcome you to this special occasion where we get to celebrate the love between my daughter Allison and her new wife, Kristin. 

Standing up here today, I’m reminded of all the moments that led to this significant one. The dance recitals that ended with standing ovations and the soccer games that concluded with winning scoreboards. 

But, while those were fun and rewarding times, those aren’t the moments I cherish most with Allison. The memories that make me smile the brightest are those in-between the big stuff moments. It’s the makeshift magic shows in our living room using a bedsheet that Allison confiscated from our linen closet to convert into a curtain. It’s the countless tea parties she hosted with exclusive invitations just for me and her beloved stuffed bear, Buttons. And it’s the way she’d beg to stay up for just five more minutes but was asleep on the couch by minute number two.

Those everyday, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments with Allison are the ones that gave color to my life and filled my heart with a happiness I never knew could exist.

So, my beautiful daughter, as you begin your life with Kristin today, I have one wish for you: May your warmest memories come from the ordinary moments throughout your marriage, and may those moments give you a reason to smile brighter every day. Cheers! I love you both." —Daniel

What Not to Say in a Wedding Speech

Your job when delivering a wedding speech is to keep things light—tell an anecdote, make an emotional connection, then wish the couple well before you close out. Anything that doesn't feel definitively positive should be avoided. "I would advocate against bringing up negative details, specifically past relationships or past spouses," says Carter. "Skip anything that you wouldn't want to be physically recorded and played over and over again—this is a rule of thumb."

Keep it light, delicate, and present- and future-focused, Carter adds. "If you're going to go into the past, make those stories really intentional," she says. "Bring those stories back to who they are now. Your mission is to create a great environment and vibe and to potentially give some information about one of the newlyweds, so that it's enlightening for all guests."

A Guide to Wedding Reception Toasts

• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception?
• How to Write a Wedding Toast
• Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech
• How to Write a Best Man Toast
• Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech
• What to Know About a Newlywed Toast
• currently on Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips
• 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

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• How to Write and Deliver the Perfect Best Man Speech
• Mother-of-the-Bride Speech Examples and Writing Tips
• The Wedding Speech Order You Should Follow at Your Reception
• 39 Funny Wedding Toasts and Speeches That'll Get the Whole Room Laughing
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In This Article

What is the Traditional Wedding Speech Order?

Common speech tips for modern wedding, wedding speech order planning tips.

• Wedding Party & Reception

Who Speaks, When? Traditional Order of Speeches at Wedding

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The order of speeches at wedding events is more important than you may think. The reason that specific people make toasts and speeches at specific times creates a narrative. It tells the story of the couple’s journey and reveals a deeper level of connection for the audience.

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Today’s weddings are very flexible. You shouldn’t feel like you have to adhere to this list. However, if your desire is to follow tradition or simply learn more about wedding traditions, this guide to wedding speech orders will give you what you need.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Who gives speeches at weddings and in what order.

At a traditional wedding reception, the bride and groom speak first. This is followed by speeches from the father of the bride, the father of the groom, the maid of honor, and then the best man.

Do wedding speeches come before or after food?

Speeches should be delivered approximately 3/4 of the way through the reception meal. This allows guests to find their seats and get comfortable.

How long is a wedding speech supposed to be?

Each wedding speech at a traditional wedding should be 3 to 5 minutes long. Any shorter and you won’t get to say what you want. Any longer and you will lose the audience.

How Many Speeches Do You Have at a Wedding?

Traditional weddings, if nobody opts out, have six standard speakers. Sometimes a Master of Ceremonies will be the seventh orator. Recently the mothers of the bride and groom deliver separate speeches to be the eighth and ninth speakers.

Traditionally, the order of speeches at wedding receptions pays respect to the people who have greatly influenced the bride and groom’s lives. Arguably, these friends and family members are partially responsible for making the wedding happen.

The bride and groom will speak first to thank their guests for participating in their union. The father, and sometimes mother, will speak as they traditionally pay for the wedding. The groom’s father and mother will then welcome the bride to the family. Lastly, the maid of honor and the groom will talk about friendship and how the bride and groom have grown.

The Father of the Bride or Parents of the Bride

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If asked, any father will tell you that it’s impossible to give a wedding speech without mentioning what his little girl was like growing up and how difficult it is to let her go. Some dads will over-indulge in this sentiment. Some dads are way too shy and will avoid talking about this. Follow these rules to help you find a balance between these two poles.

The father of the bride should:

• The order of speeches at weddings begins with the father of the bride thanking everyone for attending and helping. Identify and thank guests who have traveled a long way and acknowledge people who played prominent roles in the bride’s life. Although they aren’t speaking, they all contribute to the success of the wedding.
• The father of the bride should tell stories about how his little girl has grown into the woman she has become. Consider stories about how she developed through school, what she wanted to be when she grows up, and anecdotes that demonstrate her character.
• Finally, speak directly to the bride and her parents. Welcome them by recounting the story of when you all met each other. This is a good time for a few jokes, but make sure those jokes are wrapped in warmth and acceptance.

The father of the bride should not:

• Don’t just say “Thank You’ to a list of people. Acknowledging prominent friends, family, and wedding party members is appropriate. However, simply naming them does not make them feel welcome or significant.
• You believe that your daughter is perfect, but keep the praise to a minimum. The role of the father of the bride in the order of wedding speeches is to create a sense of unity among all of the guests. Gushing over your daughter will deviate from this.
• Don’t speak for too long. As the first speaker, you will set the tone for others. Respect your time allotment so that others do the same. Beyond that, a short punchy speech is much more engaging than a long drone.

The Father of the Groom or Parents of the Groom

Next up in the order of wedding speeches is the father of the groom. His responsibility is to welcome the bride and her parents to the family. There’s a little more room for jokes with this speech, but everything should be respectful. He should commend his son for the man he has become and wish the couple a long, happy life together.

The father of the groom should:

• Start by thanking the bride’s family. Traditionally, they pay for the wedding. Even if that’s not the case, they have certainly raised a wonderful daughter.
• Tell the story of how your son grew up in a way that explains how he arrived in the arms of his bride. Include a few jokes if that’s your personality, but keep it light and good-hearted.
• Acknowledge how the bride makes your son a better man. You are proud of him and she is largely responsible for his passions and enthusiasm. Let her know how much you appreciate her and how she adds a new layer to the family.

The father of the groom should not:

• Don’t talk about exes. You may mean well when you say “Sarah is so much better than Melissa” but it never comes out well. It will take the entire crowd out of a happy moment.
• Don’t let jokes turn into insults. You know the people you are poking fun at very well. You know if they will appreciate the humor or not. If you don’t know them that well, air on the side of caution.
• Don’t give negative advice. There’s a big difference between “I wish you health, wealth, and happiness!” and “I hope you don’t turn out like your mother and me.” Although the intention is to wish the couple a life full of love, the delivery changes the entire context. Learn the line well and stay within it.

Groom Wedding Speech Order

After both sets of parents have a chance to speak, the traditional order of speeches at weddings has the groom speaking next. The speech usually includes Thank Yous to the guests, venue, and vendors. This is usually the time that the groom distributes gifts to his wedding party.

The groom should:

• Thank both sets of parents for their kind words. Try your best to bring up points they made to make it clear that you were listening and gained some insight. This will both make them feel good and create a connection between all of the speeches.
• Tell the story of how you met the bride. Include stories that paint the picture of your journey and when you realized that she is “the one”.
• Talk about the future and how much you love your new life. The wedding isn’t the destination, it’s the starting line of this new phase of life and you are excited.

The groom should not:

• Don’t fall into the “ball and chain” trope. Feel free to make jokes, but talking about how you’ve just lost your freedom is a little cliché.
• Don’t distribute gifts while you are speaking. Unless you’ve mastered the art of multi-tasking, your speech will suffer. Safe the gifts for a natural break in your speech or assign someone to distribute the gifts while you speak.
• Don’t overdo the Thank Yous. It’s important to pay respect to vendors and guests, but they have already been thanked and your main objective is to portray how happy you are with your new wife. Don’t take away from this.

Bride Wedding Speech

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The general order of speeches at a wedding has the bride speaking after the parents and groom. The bride’s speech will be similar to the groom’s but, of course, with her own experiences. It will consist of Thank Yous, gifts for her bridal party, and a message of love to her groom.

The bride should:

• Pay special attention to the bridesmaids. They’ve played a major role in your relationship as well as the success of your wedding. It’s appropriate to show proper recognition.
• Tell your version of how you met your groom and the journey you have taken together. It’s customary to pick on the groom a little bit but, just like everyone else, do your best not to fall into insulting tropes.
• Thank your parents, even if they have been thanked by others. Your relationship is much deeper with your own parents and they deserve your unique perspective.

The bride should not:

• Aside from your parents, don’t repeat Thank Yous. There are plenty of people to thank. Repeating the same people becomes redundant and diminishes the impact of the praise.
• Don’t make it entirely about yourself. Everything about this wedding is mostly about you. Take the opportunity to make it about others for a moment.
• Don’t take more time than the other speeches. Although you are the center of attention, taking longer to speak will throw off the momentum and timing of reception activities.

Maid of Honor/ Bridesmaids Speeches

The order of wedding speeches typically has the Maid of Honor speaking towards the end of the list. She will thank those who have not been thanked yet and spend most of her time gushing about the bride and her first impressions of the groom.

The bridesmaids should:

• Thank the groomsmen and ushers. They are often overlooked, but these people are the oil that keeps all of the gears in good working order.
• Say something about how the groom is such a perfect match for the bride. You can talk about his personality traits, your first impressions when meeting him, or an anecdote about getting to know him.
• Spend most of your time talking about the bride. You know her like no one else and the guests will adore hearing stories that expose her personality and relationship journey with the groom.

The bridesmaids should not:

• Do not tell stories that would embarrass the bride in front of parents or the groom. Some things are better left between you and the bride.
• Don’t forget to offer some good wishes and words of advice. You have a unique perspective on the couple’s relationship and your views are insightful.
• Don’t read your speech from your phone. Take some time to practice the speech so that it comes out naturally.

Best Man Speech

The best man usually comes last in the order of speeches at a wedding. However, the best man and maid of honor often switch. When the best man speaks last, he needs to understand that this is the segway to music and dancing. He’ll have to leave the guests in a fresh, energized mood.

The best man should:

• Keep it short and sweet. Punchy jokes and short stories will keep things concise and energetic, which is exactly what the crowd needs.
• Invite guests to get up and dance once the stage is set up. Often enough, guests are uncomfortable being the first ones on the dance floor. Encourage them to ditch their discomfort.
• Temper your jokes. The pressure to be funny has the ability to push people over the edge of appropriateness. Be aware of the elderly and children in attendance.

The best man should not:

• Don’t think that you have to be funny. Just because Hollywood and stereotypes tell us that the best man is expected to become a stand-up comedian doesn’t make it a rule. Be true to yourself.
• If you are naturally funny, don’t use inside jokes. The groom may appreciate it, but you are there for the entire guest list.
• Don’t fixate on your time in college or the bachelor party. Guests are interested in hearing about a journey that demonstrates the groom’s character arc, not a single moment in time.

Modern weddings are a little more free-range when it comes to speeches. The traditional structure has appointed individuals that are expected to rehearse their speech to accommodate a specific amount of time. Modern weddings will expand the list of appointed speakers to include brothers and sisters and prominent family members. In many cases, guests will be invited to step up to say a few words.

Non-traditional speakers should:

• Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the bride or groom. This contextualizes what you will say.
• Express your joy and give advice. If you are younger than the couple, explain how they are an inspiration. If you are older, share your life lessons.
• Keep it short. If it’s an open mic situation, there are plenty of people who want their turn.

Non-traditional speakers should not:

• Try not to wing it. Although you didn’t prepare a formal speech, do your best to collect your thoughts and deliver them in a logical order.
• Don’t feel like you should speak if you have nothing to say. An open mic can be tempting but should be avoided if your piece won’t add to the story.
• Don’t neglect the guests. It’s a speech to the room, not a private conversation between you and the happy couple.

• The traditional order of speeches at weddings is pretty much written in stone. The few variables are if both parents speak or just the father, and which order the maid of honor and best man take. Not too long ago, men spoke on behalf of the family, but this is rarely true today. If you need to cut someone from the lineup due to timing issues, the mothers of the bride and groom are usually the first to go.
• When it comes to the maid of honor and best man, the best man is expected to be funny which is a great vibe to lead into the dance portion of the event.
• Regardless of where you fall in the order of speeches at weddings, there are a few guidelines that, if followed, will help you deliver a better speech.
• Start with a rough draft. Write down the basic structure of your speech and then insert some prominent memories that support what you have to say. Practice out loud. This will ensure that you are using the right words and speaking at a proper tempo.
• Don’t drink. A champagne toast is in order, but don’t lose your motor skills and ability to speak clearly.
• Be aware of who is speaking before and after you in the order of speeches at weddings. You will have to pick up where they left off and provide a segway for the next speaker.

The traditional order of speeches at weddings is successful because it’s familiar and provides a strong narrative. Each speaker has a role to play and progressively tells the story of the happy couple’s journey. Take pride in your role and what you have to say. Whether you realize it or not, you are a significant piece to the bride and groom’s overall experience.

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GROOM SPEECH STRUCTURE

Wondering how to put together a speech for your wedding and what the groom speech structure should actually be? We’ve provided a simple guide to what you should include in your speech on your wedding day.

Let’s be clear for starters, there’s no right or wrong way groom speech template to use. You can include anything you want in your speech – it is your wedding day after all!

There’s also no requirement whatsoever on length. Make it as long or short as you are comfortable with and use these groom’s speech examples for some inspiration.

While you might well want to make things special to you, your new wife, your families and guests with some personal touches and stories, there are several things that you should definitely include in your speech.

• The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches & Toasts . Our go-to guide.
• Groom’s Speech.  Deliver an amazing Groom wedding speech. Groom speech examples .
• Best Man Speech.  Create an awesome best man speech. Example best man speeches .
• Father of the Bride Speech .  A heartfelt father of bride speech. Example father speeches .
• Sample Toasts & Speech Quotes . One liners, funny quotes, love parables and much more.
• Recent Wedding Speech Posts . Latest blog posts about wedding speeches and toasts.

A great way to start your speech, for example, is to begin with the words “My wife and I…”. It will be the first time you have addressed anyone as husband and wife and it gets the speech off to a great start.

Don’t forget the thank yous either. Get off to the right start with your new father in law by thanking him for his kind words, if he has delivered his speech before you, and your mother in law if she has performed a speech too.

Thank you guests for coming and being part of your special day, thank your own family for all the help you have received, and also anyone who has gone the extra mile in the build up to the wedding. And finish by thanking your new wife, giving her some flattery in the process too.

FUNNY ANECDOTES / STORIES

This is now your stage and certainly the time to include some groom’s speech jokes . The formalities are out of the way. Start with a gag or a one-liner and you’ll be off and running. Use props to add to the stories you are telling.

Tell a story or two about how you met, how you fell in love and why you knew she was the one for you. Entertain guests with some of the funny moments of relationships, buying your new house or living together for the first time, a holiday moment or something that will make the guests laugh. Even talk about something poignant in your speech at this stage if there is something close to your hearts.

RAISE A TOAST TO THE BRIDE

End the speech with a return to the formalities. After a special message to your new wife make a brief comment to the guests – “Finally, I would like to say thank you again to all of you for celebrating with us today” or something similar – and get the wedding breakfast to raise a toast to your new wife:  “And could you all please raise your glasses to my beautiful wife, the one I love…”

HAND OVER TO THE BEST MAN

It is time for you to take a deep breath, sit back and relax and have a bit of fun poked your way by your best man. At the end of your speech, hand over to him and prepare to be the center of the ribbing.

Traditional Wedding Speech Order Explained

Now that the rest of the planning has been arranged, it’s time to sort out the speeches. Understandably, the speeches are nerve-wracking, particularly for those who are giving them. You want to ensure that as well as the speeches themselves, the transition into the next is a smooth one. If you’re in a panic about which order the speeches should go in, don’t worry, take a look at this guide to help you out.

Traditionally speeches are given after the dinner, but many couples are mixing it up and putting their own spin on it. You may choose to split the meal up and have the speeches between main course and desert. Others may choose to have the speeches before. You can also choose to have your speeches at the beginning of the evening reception so that all your guests can watch. 

The running order will all be dependent on your desire to either stick to tradition or to stray from the rules. Remember that you don’t have to stay with the order we suggest, they are only guidelines and if you want to throw the rule book out the window and choose your mother to make the speech first, then so be it. It’s your wedding day.

Important family members may be absent and you might want someone to stand up and raise a glass to those who cannot be present first. Use our guide as a template and jumble it around to your hearts content.

Father of the Bride

It’s all about tradition here as originally a bride’s family would either pay for or contribute a large amount to the wedding. It was here that it seemed only right for the father of the bride to stand up and thank all the guests for celebrating the day with them. Tradition has of course passed on to modern days and still appears throughout weddings. Although a lot of couples pay for weddings themselves these days, the father of the bride will still be the first to stand up and make a toast. Once he has thanked the guests, he should welcome the groom into his family and say something lovely about the bride. Depending on the length of the speech, the father should take this opportunity to say something funny about his daughter (the bride). For fantastic tips on writing the Father of the Bride speech click here . 

After the father of the bride has welcomed the groom to the family, this is now time for the groom to stand up and say his part. Usually thanking the bride’s family first, the key members of the wedding party, the bridesmaids and of course his own parents. The rest of the speech should be about his relationship to his partner, perhaps reminiscing on when you met. 

Writing a groom’s speech can be difficult and trying to get words onto paper can be tricky. Take a look at our guide on how to write the perfect grooms speech here ; it might just save your skin!

In this day and age, it’s highly unfair that it’s only the men who propose a toast and speech. It shouldn’t just be the men. The women of the wedding party are just as important! Brides (if you’re feeling up to it) this is when you should stand and say your speech. Although it’s not traditional, we believe if the bride wants to, she should be able to make a toast as well! The bride should thank the groom and his parents first and then perhaps her bridesmaids and parents. The rest of the speech should then be about her relationship to her partner and possibly some funny stories added in. 

 The Best Man

Ah, the long- awaited best man’s speech which can either create lots of laughs or lots of tension! If you want to stick with tradition and skip the bride’s speech, the best man will be toasted by the groom. He will then stand up and say his part, normally talking about the groom and stories from their friendship. He must always mention the bride and congratulate the happy couple. Remember, not all best man speeches have to be funny! For our best tips on writing the ultimate best man speech, take a look at this article . 

Maid of Honour

If the best man can make a speech, so can the maid of honour! It might even turn out to be much funnier. Dependent on who goes first, the best man should toast to the maid of honour after his speech. The maid of honour should comment on the newlyweds and their relationship. She should also describe her relationship to the bride and perhaps tell a funny story or two (maybe even add a joke). 

As it’s 2017 and same sex marriages are finally legal in the UK, the order of the speeches will definitely change. There could be two father-of-the-bride speeches or there could also be two father-of-the-groom speeches or perhaps their mothers instead. 

Use our list as a guideline and make your own order that will work out better for you. It might just be that your father is terrible at speeches so best to leave him last rather than first! You might even choose to leave the best man’s speech out and only have your sensible maid of honour. 

 Other people can make a speech too, they don’t necessarily have to be part of the wedding party. Perhaps a friend who set you both up all those years ago will want to say a word or two, or you might choose your granny to say a few words. It’s your wedding and entirely up to you. Just remember that these speeches should stay short and reasonable, you don’t want your guests to end up bored and frustrated!

This blog post is written by the team at TheWeddingSecret.co.uk. Their website helps couples find the ideal wedding venues and suppliers in their local area along with lots of other helpful tricks and tips. You can check them out here .

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Groom Kicks Best Man Out of Wedding After He Proposes During His Speech

"He said he thought it would be a great surprise. I told him he was selfish and inconsiderate," the groom wrote in a post on Reddit

Erin Clack is a Staff Editor for PEOPLE. She has been writing about fashion, parenting and pop culture for more than 15 years.

Siri Stafford/Getty

A groom was forced to "fire" his best man after he stole the spotlight at his wedding by proposing to his girlfriend during his speech.

In a recent post on Reddit's popular "Am I the A------?" forum, the 30-year-old groom recounted how his best man John — whom he described as his "closest friend since childhood" — ruined what "was supposed to be the happiest day" of his life. He wrote that he and his wife had a "beautiful" ceremony, followed by an "even better" reception. But things took an unfortunate turn when it was time for John to take to the microphone and deliver his best man speech.

"At first, it was full of the usual jokes and heartfelt stories, which everyone enjoyed. But then, out of nowhere, he turned to his girlfriend and started talking about their relationship," the groom recalled of John's speech. "Before I knew it, he was down on one knee, proposing to her right there in the middle of my reception!"

He explained that the unexpected moment shocked him and his wife — and their guests. "The room went silent. I could feel my wife's hand squeezing mine tighter and tighter," the groom wrote.

John Slater/Getty

John's girlfriend said yes, prompting applause from the crowd. However, the groom was left "fuming" and feeling completely upstaged by his friend.

"I felt like my special day had been hijacked. Instead of celebrating our marriage, everyone was now focused on John and his fiancée," he wrote, explaining that he later confronted John and told him he'd been "out of line" to propose at his wedding.

"He said he thought it would be a great surprise and assumed I would be happy for him. I told him he was selfish and inconsiderate, and I ended up kicking him out of the reception," the groom wrote.

After the pair's confrontation, the groom received some feedback from his other friends that now has him wondering if he was "too harsh" with John. "Some of our mutual friends are saying I overreacted and that I should have let it slide for the sake of our friendship," he explained, before asking his fellow Redditors to weigh in on the situation.

"AITA [am I the a------] for firing my best man and kicking him out of my wedding for proposing during my reception?" he asked.

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The majority of commenters assured the groom he had every right to be upset by his friend's actions. "NTA [not the a------]! Talk about stealing someone’s thunder!!! That was your special day, and he robbed it from you!!" one person wrote.

"It's strange he would not ask you or even tell you he was thinking of proposing. Why would he think you would like that kind of 'surprise' at your own reception? Extremely selfish move," another person chimed in.

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Yet another person added: "I will never understand why people think a wedding is the right time to propose or announce some major life event like a pregnancy (unless it’s from the bride and groom). That’s a day to celebrate the people getting married, and that’s it!"

Still, several commenters advised the groom to take the high road and not destroy a lifelong friendship over the groom's thoughtless misstep.

"I know John’s intent was not to hurt you. You have every right to be mad but now it’s your obligation to forgive. Not sweep things under the rug like nothing happened but to choose to forgive John and set what he did aside for the sake of the years you’ve been friends," someone wrote. "I hope he apologizes to you and your new wife for his bad taste. But try to forgive him even if he doesn’t."

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