"Mom, Can You Help me With my Homework?” 5 Tips on How to do it Right

"Mom, Can You Help me With my Homework?” 5 Tips on How to do it Right

Homework “do”s and homework “don’t”s

In the last few months, an interesting debate has been restarted about homework.  Parents have come out with testimonials about how their children had to tackle a large amount of homework every day.  This is something which conditions their schedules and which turns them into secondary teachers, often because the homework didn’t always reference things the children had already seen or learned in class.

If you analyze the educational systems around the world, you’ll notice that there are various different styles of teaching. China is probably one of the most pro-homework countries, compared with Finland or Korea who are at the other extreme of things. We are talking about cultures which are completely different. Although it is still quite surprising how two countries like China or Finland, in terms of education, can be situated at such opposite extremes.

In our culture, something very interesting happens. An axiom upon which I would have never reflected if I hadn’t seen how a father broke that unwritten law. What happens is that most parents give absolute priority to school homework. Homework is more important than going to see family members, visiting museums, and attending educational talks. A child can be free of everything else, but not that. I’ll let you reflect upon this, since it’s  not the topic of this article.

Mother and daughter are doing homework together.

In early 2020, around the onset of Covid-19 lockdowns, Jessica Mungekar noticed her seventh grade honor student, Layla, retreat. “I knew that she felt really uncomfortable and she wanted to fall into the background,” Mungekar says. “She didn’t want to be noticed and I didn’t quite understand it.”

Meanwhile, Layla was keeping the source of her pain secret from her mother: She was being bullied and was struggling with her identity as a biracial teen in a predominantly white town. Layla feared if she told her mom about the extent of the bullying, Jessica would have called the school, making the problem even worse.

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Things came to a head the summer before Layla’s first year of high school when she shared with her mom details of a traumatic event. Layla urged her mother not to make decisions on her behalf in the aftermath. Instead, Jessica went into what she calls “mama bear mode” and made demands of her daughter: Cut off contact with these friends, join these extracurricular activities, you are only allowed out of the house during these hours. Layla felt like her autonomy was being taken away.

Over the course of a few months, mother and daughter worked to repair their relationship and communication. Now, Jessica says she is sure to listen to Layla instead of immediately offering advice, validates her daughter’s feelings, and gives her freedom to express herself. For her part, Layla confides in her mother all the time, even about her dating life. Her friends often seek out Jessica for counsel, too. “She’s become a safe place where people go to get advice,” Layla, now 16, says. “She’s joyous and doesn’t pass judgment.”

Students are faced with a daily barrage of potential stressors: a demanding course load, tricky social dynamics, managing both their time and emotions. In a four-year study designed to estimate the prevalence of mental disorders in kindergarteners through 12th graders, findings showed one in six students exhibited enough symptoms to meet the criteria for one or more childhood mental disorders, such as anxiety disorders and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. According to a 2019 Pew Research Center report, 61 percent of teens said they felt a lot of pressure to get good grades. About 22 percent of 12- to 18-year-old students reported being bullied during the school year in 2019, per a National Center for Education Statistics survey . None of these statistics takes into account the toll of the pandemic, which set students back academically and had negative effects on their mental health .

Once kids leave the house, parents and other adults in their lives have little influence on their students’ school days. Unable to witness or guide children through the difficulties in and out of the classroom, parents often get piecemeal or incomplete views of how their kids spent the last hours, especially if the child is young and can’t adequately verbalize their struggles or frustrations. Signs that a student may be experiencing hardship at school include increased irritability, difficulty sleeping or lack of sleep, and changes in appetite, says Jessica Kendorski , the chair of the school psychology department and professor at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine. They may also say they feel sick in order to stay home, when in reality they may be stressed or anxious about school, Kendorski says.

Another indicator of a struggling child includes extreme people-pleasing, says Meredith Draughn , the school counselor at B. Everett Jordan Elementary School in Graham, NC, and the 2023 American School Counselor Association Counselor of the Year. High school students may also exhibit a “freeze” response, Draughn says. “It’s like well, that kid just doesn’t care, right? That kid’s super apathetic,” she says. “What we find when we dig into it more is they’re so overwhelmed by everything that’s happening that they just choose to do nothing because they don’t know how to address it.”

What, then, is the right way to support the students in your life? The tactics will vary based on the age of your child and the issues they’re facing. Regardless of your approach, experts say to always keep your kids in the loop of any decisions you’re making about their emotional and academic success.

Encourage growth mindset tactics for academic achievement

From homework to challenging classes, students experience a number of academic hurdles. Sometimes, they may fail a test or drop the ball on a project. While some students may criticize themselves (“I’m not smart enough”) or claim the material was too difficult, parents should promote a growth mindset : the ability to learn from setbacks, implement new processes, and improve. “You want to praise the effort and the strategies that they used,” Kendorski says. “If they fail something, you want to talk through ‘Why did you fail this? Let’s talk about what you can do to be successful next time.’”

A fixed mindset is one where people believe their skills are set in stone and they have no possibility of improving. When students in his classroom share fixed mindset sentiments like “I can’t do this,” elementary school teacher Josh Monroe is quick to amend the statement: “You can’t do this yet .” The power of yet helps students “understand that you don’t have to know it all right now — and it’s important that you don’t, that’s how you grow,” he says.

While it’s crucial to encourage a growth mindset with students who use negative self-talk, like “I’ll never learn this” or “I’m not good enough,” a fixed mindset can also backfire if you constantly tell a student “You’re so smart,” Kendorski says. “When things start to get really difficult, you might find kids that don’t want to take chances,” she says, “because they think that if I fail, I’m going to lose that ‘I’m so smart’ title.” Instead, she says, focus on accomplishments based on effort and strategies: “I’m really proud of you for organizing a study group with your friends.”

To help ensure your kids get their homework done and prepare for tests, Kendorski encourages a routine: dedicating a time and a place for schoolwork. If your student retains information more effectively if they study for a little bit each day instead of cramming, offer that as an option.

When the kid in your life asks for help with homework and you’re a little rusty on, say, algebra, don’t feel ashamed to admit you don’t know how to solve the problem, Draughn says. Monroe recommends the online educational tool Khan Academy , which features videos that guide both parents and students through all levels of educational concepts and lessons. For additional academic resources, reach out to your student’s teacher who will know about after-school tutoring sessions or extra guidance, Draughn says. “Going to teachers early and often, when help is needed, is the most crucial part of it,” she says, “because there are those programs, but they do fill up pretty quickly.”

Empower students to navigate difficult social situations with confidence

School can be a social minefield, with kids learning how to independently interact with peers and regulate their emotions. If your child shares that they’re being picked on or ostracized in school, Draughn suggests that you first validate their experience and never downplay their emotions. Ask them what level of support they want: Do they think it would be helpful to talk to a school counselor or a teacher? Or do they prefer you to reach out to the teacher directly? In Layla Mungekar’s experience, she would have opted for her mother to not interfere with her social life. “Letting them lead the way on that is important,” Draughn says. “They may say, I feel like I have the tools to handle this — and that’s great. Then you check in. But doing nothing and just not mentioning it again is not going to help anything.”

You might also start counseling your kid on self-advocacy and assertiveness at home, too, Draughn says, helping them identify moments where they should speak out against bad behavior and pointing out trustworthy adults to whom they can report issues, regardless of whether they are on the receiving end or have witnessed another student being bullied. “If someone is making you feel socially or physically unsafe, that’s the time to speak up,” says Tracee Perryman , the author of Elevating Futures: A Model For Empowering Black Elementary Student Success . Again, only reach out to the school yourself after talking it over with your kid.

However, your child may simply be shy and reserved, not the victim of bullying. Perryman says to help build confidence with the kids in your life by reminding them that what they have to say is important and they have valuable interests and insights worth sharing with others.

When it comes to social media, Jessica Mungekar discovered teens will “do what they’re going to do, whether you want them to or not,” she says. It’s better to listen if your child is involved with social media-related conflict, remind them they are not in trouble, and support them as you work to create a plan together. “I think it’s important in this day and age for kids to have social media because otherwise they get [alienated] by their peers,” Layla Mungekar says. “But it’s a lot safer when parents have those conversations, like yeah, this is going to happen and when it does happen, you should feel safe to come to me and not be blamed for that.”

Experts emphasize the transitory nature of school. While it’s crucial for students to apply themselves academically and make strides socially, remind them that one speed bump, fight with a friend, blunder, or bad grade will not drastically alter the trajectory of their lives. “It’s better that I make those mistakes now,” Layla says, “while I have someone there to help me.”

Promote balance to minimize stress

Just like adults, kids can get stressed due to the demands of school and extracurriculars, as well as conflicts with friends and family. If kids are sleeping very late on weekends or too tired to do activities they typically enjoy, like spending time with friends, they might need more balance in their schedules, Perryman says.

Ask your kid directly: “Are you playing T-ball three nights a week because you like it or you feel like you have to?” or “You had three extracurriculars last semester and it was really overwhelming for you. Do you want to pick two for this coming semester?” Draughn suggests. Remind your kid that just because they step away from a hobby now doesn’t mean they can’t come back to it in the future. Make sure students have one weeknight and one weekend day solely devoted to downtime, too, Draughn says. However, don’t discount the fact that sports and other activities can be rejuvenating for kids, even if they’re not resting.

Parents and supportive adults are quick to problem-solve for the kids in their lives, but Kendorski stresses the importance of asking, “Do you want me to listen? Or do you want me to help?” Your child might just want to vent about a tough baseball practice. When Layla wants validation and a hug from her mom, she asks her “to be a waterfall.” When she’s feeling less emotionally charged, then Layla and her mom can problem-solve.

For high-achieving students who may be stressed about grades and college applications, Kendorski suggests asking your kids what story they’re telling themselves about success. For example, they might worry that a bad test grade means they’ll never get into their dream college. Help them map more realistic outcomes by thinking about the absolute worst-case scenario and alternative paths. For example, the worst that could happen if they fail a single test is maybe they get a C for the quarter. But reinforce how if they study and complete all their homework, the likelihood of failing is minimized.

Remember not to make your stress their stress. Children are intuitive and can pick up on how the adults in their lives are feeling, Kendorski says. Instead of turning away from uncomfortable emotions, encourage open communication. If you’re disappointed in a mediocre grade, try saying, “I’m feeling a little bummed about the C on that test, but that’s my issue. I know you work hard and with some more practice, I know you’ll do better next time.”

Parents should always validate their child’s struggles and encourage caring for their mental health. Whether they’re seeking support from a trusted teacher or you think they’d benefit from speaking with a therapist — ask them how they’d feel about chatting with a professional before scheduling an appointment — remind them that “mental health is health,” Draughn says. That matters more than any test score.

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An Age-By-Age Guide to Helping Kids Manage Homework

mother helping young child complete their homework

Do you ever wonder whether homework is gauging the child’s ability to complete assignments or the parent’s? On one end of the spectrum, a parent might never mention homework and assume it gets done independently; on the other end are the parents who micromanage to be sure every worksheet is absolutely perfect.

Being too laissez faire about homework might deny a child the support they need to develop executive functioning skills, but being too involved could stifle their independence. So how much parent participation in homework is actually appropriate throughout a child’s education?

Basic homework tips

According to Scholastic , you should follow these rules of thumb to support your child during homework (without going overboard):

Stay nearby and available for questions without getting right in the middle of homework.

Avoid the urge to correct mistakes unless your child asks for help.

Instead of nagging, set up a homework routine with a dedicated time and place.

Teach time management for a larger project by helping them break it into chunks.

Child psychologist Dr. Emily W. King recently wrote about rethinking homework in her newsletter. King explains at what ages kids are typically able to do homework independently, but she writes that each child’s ability to concentrate at the end of the day and use executive functioning skills for completing tasks is very individual. I talked to her for more information on how much parental involvement in homework completion is needed, according to a child’s age and grade level.

Kindergarten to second grade

Whether children even need homework this early is a hot debate. Little ones are still developing fine motor skills and their ability to sit still and pay attention at this age.

“If a child is given homework before their brain and body are able to sit and focus independently, then we are relying on the parent or other caregivers to sit with the child to help them focus,” King said. “ Think about when the child is able to sit and focus on non-academic tasks like dinner, art, or music lessons. This will help you tease out executive functioning skills from academic understanding.”

Elementary-age children need time for unstructured play and structured play like music, arts, and sports. They need outside time, free time, and quiet time, King said. For children who are not ready for independent work, nightly reading with another family member is enough “homework,” she said.

Third to fifth grades

Many children will be able to do homework independently in grades 3-5. Even then, their ability to focus and follow through may vary from day to day.

“Most children are ready for practicing independent work between third and fifth grade, but maybe not yet in the after-school hours when they are tired and want to rest or play. We need to begin exposing children to organization and structure independently in late elementary school to prepare them for more independence in middle school,” King said.

Neurodivergent kids may need more parental support for several years before they work independently.

“Neurodivergent children, many of whom have executive functioning weaknesses, are not ready to work independently in elementary school. Children without executive functioning weaknesses (e.g., the ability to remain seated and attend to a task independently) are able to do this somewhere between third and fifth grade, but it’s very possible they can work independently at school but be too tired to do it later in the afternoon,” King said. “We need to follow the child’s skills and give them practice to work independently when they seem ready. Of course, if a child wants to do extra work after school due to an interest, go for it.”

For students who are not ready to work independently in middle school, it is better to reduce the amount of homework they are expected to complete so they can practice independence and feel successful.

Middle school

In sixth grade and later, kids are really developing executive functioning skills like planning, organizing, paying attention, initiating, shifting focus, and execution. They will still need your encouragement to keep track of assignments, plan their time, and stick to a homework routine.

“Middle school students need lots of organization support and putting systems in place to help them keep track of assignments, due dates, and materials,” King said.

High school

By this point, congratulations: You can probably be pretty hands-off with homework. Remain open and available if your teen needs help negotiating a problem, but executing plans should be up to them now.

“In high school, parents are working to put themselves out of a job and begin stepping back as children take the lead on homework. Parents of high schoolers are ‘homework consultants,’” King said. “We are there to help solve problems, talk through what to say in an email to a teacher, but we are not writing the emails or talking to the teachers for our kids.”

What if homework is not working for them (or you)

There are a number of reasons a child might not be managing homework at the same level as their peers, including academic anxiety and learning disabilities.

If your child is showing emotional distress at homework time, it might be a sign that they have run out of gas from the structure, socialization, and stimulation they have already been through at school that day. One way to support kids is to teach them how to have a healthy balance of work and play time.

“When we ask students to keep working after school when their tank is on empty, we likely damage their love of learning and fill them with dread for tomorrow,” King wrote in her newsletter.

King said in her experience as a child psychologist, the amount of homework support a child needs is determined by their individual abilities and skills more than their age or grade level.

“All of these steps vary for a neurodivergent child and we are not following these guidelines by age or grade but rather by their level of skills development to become more independent,” she said. “In order to independently complete homework, a child must be able to have attended to the directions in class, brought the materials home, remember to get the materials out at home, remember to begin the task, understand the task, remain seated and attention long enough to complete the task, be able to complete the task, return the work to their backpack, and return the work to the teacher. If any of these skills are weak or the child is not able to do these independently, there will be a breakdown in the system of homework. You can see why young students and neurodivergent students would struggle with this process.”

If you and your child have trouble meeting homework expectations, talk to their teacher about what could be contributing to the problem and how to modify expectations for them.

“Get curious about your child’s skill level at that time of day,” King said. “Are they able to work independently at school but not at home? Are they not able to work independently any time of day? Are they struggling with this concept at school, too? When are they successful?”

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How Parents Can Help With Homework (Without Taking Over)

Sometimes taking the stress out of homework means taking a step back. learn how to curb your hands-on habits and help your kids do their best..

After a long day at school, the last thing my kids want to do is tackle their assignments. And after a long day at work, arguing with them about homework is the last thing my husband and I want to do. But we’ve always thought that the more involved we were, the better off they’d be.

It turns out that that isn’t necessarily true: After looking at 30 years’ worth of studies, researchers concluded that in most cases, such parental interest actually doesn’t help raise test scores or grades — and sometimes backfires. The reason: When parents are overly immersed in homework, they deny kids the chance to become more independent and confident. Worse, it can breed anxiety along the way.

Of course, backing off is easier said than done. So we asked education pros to share their secrets for helping kids study without hovering. Use these techniques to bring peace to your evenings — starting tonight!

Old way:  Sit beside your child so you can answer questions and fix his mistakes. New way:  Stay available by doing chores nearby.

When you hover, you essentially send the message to your kid that you don’t think he can do the work. To empower him instead, stay busy and wait until he asks for your help, says Miriam Liss, Ph.D., author of Balancing the Big Stuff: Finding Happiness in Work, Family, and Life.

For example, say your child is stumped by a math problem. You could ask questions (“So how many groups of two equal eight?”). If he says, “Got it,” leave him alone. If he continues to struggle, make suggestions (“Hey, do you want to use baby carrots as manipulatives?”). He’ll feel a greater sense of accomplishment if he’s worked for the answer mostly on his own.

Also avoid stepping in to correct every mistake without your child’s input. “Homework is a chance for a child to practice what he’s learned in class,” explains Jacqueline Cross, a fourth-grade teacher in Hingham, MA. “If he’s really challenged by long division, I’d like to know that so I can help.”

If your child asks you to look over his worksheet, point out the errors in a subtle way. Say, “Can you go back and see where you went wrong here?” or even do a quick reminder of the point of the exercise (“Remember, you’re supposed to be finding coins that add up to four dollars. Want to count these numbers out loud and I’ll listen?”).

Old way:  Nag until your child starts working. New way:  Set up a no-nonsense routine.

“Make it clear that everyone has obligations — and your child’s include things like going to school, working with her teacher, and doing the best she can on her homework,” says Susan Kuczmarski, Ed.D, author of The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent’s Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go.

Doing her best includes buckling down to finish her assignments without constant check-ins from you. Together, figure out a specific time and place for her to work. It’s okay if she needs a little while to recharge after school before starting, but be sure she knows that four o’clock (or whatever time is best for your fam) is non-negotiable.

Once you’ve established a firm homework routine, make it a habit that happens every day. “Kids can whine, but they just won’t get to watch their TV show or whatever else they’d like to do until the homework is done. Period,” says Dr. Liss. (There goes your need to nag!)

And if your kid doesn’t do an assignment because you failed to remind her? As tough as it is, let her deal with the consequences. You won’t always be around to stay on top of her, and learning responsibility is a cornerstone of education.

Old way:  Lecture your kid for waiting until the night before to study for the spelling test. New way:  Teach time-management skills.

Scolding just makes your child feel bad (and he’ll tune you out, anyway). But because kids appreciate structure, teach yours how to break tasks up into more manageable chunks.

A printed calendar is a great tool for learning how to map out deadlines and a better visual reminder for grade-schoolers than the digital kind. Hang it in a prominent place. Then help your kid set daily goals, like “study four words on Monday and five on Tuesday …,” or break that science project into weekly goals, like “gather resources by the 5th, plant the seeds on the 11th.”

By giving your child control over deadlines, you remove yourself from the battle: If it’s on the calendar, he’s responsible for it. Skip handing out negative consequences for not getting things done. Instead, says Dr. Liss, you can offer him rewards for hitting each of the milestones.

Old way:  Get sucked into whine fests. New way:  Walk away.

If your child gripes about the work itself (“It’s too hard!” or “I don’t get it!”), figure out what’s behind her frustration. If it’s a lack of motivation, let her know that the sooner she applies herself, the sooner it’ll get done and the faster she can move on to something more fun. Then leave the room. After all, without an audience, she can’t complain, and you avoid getting trapped in a negative cycle.

But if the material is too difficult, that’s another story. In that case, try your hand at doing some of the problems with her (as long as you can stay calm). You may be able to make that lightbulb turn on in her head.

If not, reach out to the teacher to ask for assistance (or, if your child is over 8, suggest she speak with the teacher herself). Educators don’t want their students struggling to the point of tears, so your child’s teacher will probably be happy to clue you in to extra resources that can help your kid understand the lesson.

Old way:  Work on your kid’s project until the end product is perfect. New way:  Let your child take the lead.

“We assign projects so kids get a chance to apply new skills they’ve learned,” Cross explains. So if you’re getting super hands-on to wow the teacher, do your best to resist the urge. “We see your child every day, so we’re pretty familiar with the kind of work she does!” Cross adds.

That doesn’t mean you can’t pitch in, but let your kid be the creative force. For example, if you notice that the assignment includes a timeline and your grade-schooler skipped that step, point it out, then let her figure out which dates to include and how best to showcase them. After all, brainstorming lets your child hone her problem-solving skills and increases her confidence; hand-feeding her a solution won’t teach her anything.

When your kiddo proudly shows you the finished product, tell her something specific, like “Your report really makes me want to read that book now!” or “Wow, look at all the details you included in that flower diagram!” By saying something descriptive instead of generic (“That poster you made looks really awesome!”), you’re acknowledging the content itself and the effort your child put into it rather than just how it looks, notes Dr. Kuczmarski.

Achieving balance is key — and that’s true for all homework conundrums. Says Dr. Liss: “Your goal is to find that sweet spot of being there if your kids need you, but not being totally on top of them all the time.”

Plus: 10 Homework Help Tips The Do's and Don'ts of Homework Help

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Helping Kids with Homework: 11 Easy & Do-Able Tips for Parents

Tips for Smart Parenting 09/21/2021 11 minute read

Homework is the bane of every student, as it is for the parents.

As a matter of fact, homework is not even necessary in the first place.

Before you react, there are countless studies to validate this claim. But even if we go on a hard-fought, well-thought, debate on whether homework is important or not, homework is here to stay. 

That said, helping kids with their take-home assignments is a duty we have to fulfill. But how exactly do we do it?

Below are actionable parenting tips to help your kids with their homework without doing it for them!

You might be interested:  How to Support Kids Learning Science and Why it Matters?

Parenting Tips on How to Do Homework with Kids

We used to believe that parental availability and support while kids do their assignments is key for their class success. "The more involved parents are, the better off they would be," so to speak. 

But that is a misconception and sometimes may even be counterproductive. As Kathleen Reilly said:

“When parents are overly immersed in homework, they deny kids the chance to become more independent and confident. Worse, it can breed anxiety along the way.” 

Helping kids with homework means that you offer your support but never treat the assignment like it's your responsibility. It's challenging, but kids need to do homework on their own because the assignments deal with lessons already discussed in class. Plus, answering homework by themselves is a good way to teach independent learning .

With that in mind, here are the homework tips for parents:

1. Work Out a Working Routine

Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure .

This helps children feel more secure because they know what to do and what's expected of them.

Face it, nobody likes homeworks. But make it easier for your kids to do their's by doing routines such as below:

What time should they start? Set a definite time when they should do their homeworks. Will it be right after they arrive from school? Should they play for an hour first? Would they do it after shower time or after dinner?

Where is their homework place? The place they choose is likely the area they feel most comfy working in. That element adds extra help when doing homework. Find a place and stick with it.

If you have multiple kids, distinct routines for each are fine. What matters is that you enforce discipline and commitment to the schedule. Write the details on a sheet of paper and post their routines on the wall!

2. Make a Homework Plan

The routine simply tackles the when and where kids do their assignments. A homework plan focuses on how they do it. 

Doing homework needs to be systematic , both for you and the child. Approach homework from a systematic point of view and you save yourselves time and whine.

The example below is the system I found most suited for my children. You can follow it or fashion your own process, whichever works best. Here's what my kids do:

Read  the directions of the homework, twice.

Determine the goal and the steps needed to achieve it.

Divide the assignment into several chunks (if logically possible).

Set time limits for each portion and mark each as complete when finished.

Helping kids with homework is not about giving them all the answers. It's about  strategizing on how to finish the homework effectively and efficiently.

3. Monitor, Don't Correct

Let's get back to basics .

What is the purpose of homework?

Homework allows teachers to gauge what the students understood in class. That said, mistakes are welcomed.

But since most parents dread the idea of making mistakes, they try to  correct each flaw too often all for a perfect remark.

Word of advice: Teachers are well-aware of how your kids perform in class, so they know the truth.

My point is, remove the notion of absolute perfection from your kids.

It's okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn how to correct them on their own ! There should be no pressure on them to avoid mistakes at all costs. Encourage an atmosphere of growth. But, make it clear to your kids they should resolve their mistakes the next time around, once they understand the correct answer.

Do this instead:

Allow your kids to ask you up to 3 questions on their homework. But, be stingy on answering their questions right away.

When they ask, reply to them something like "I can help you once I finish my chores" or "Read it again, I'll be back in a sec."

You might not realize it, but this is one subtle way to help kids with homework. When you delay your aid, you gently force them to reread the directions and rework the problem on their own.

Monitor and ask them probing questions on the reason behind their homework answers.

4. Set an Example to Imitate

Helping kids how to do homework can also mean modeling the behavior to them. This is a parenting hack that most parents fail to practice.

It can be a good motivating factor for the kids if you do chores like budgeting or computing household expenses at the same time they do their assignments.

This is one indirect way to teach kids how to do homework. Set a good example and you'll find them following your footsteps.

5. Don't Sit Beside Them

Sitting and closely monitoring your kids as they answer homework is not at all helpful.

Behind the scenes, it sends a message to their brains that you might think they can't do the work without direct supervision.

Would you like that? Of course not!

Helping kids with their homework should also tap into the emotional aspect of learning. Show them that you trust their brains by letting them do their assignment on their own. Otherwise, you shatter their self-confidence leading to feelings of inferiority.

Here are my suggestions:

Stay nearby, do chores, balance your checks, wash dishes. Basically, just be there for them, without literally sitting beside them.

6. Establish the No-Nonsense Responsibility

Make the duties of each member in the family clear.

Of course, both you and your partner have work responsibilities, and so do the kids! They're expected to be diligent with their responsibilities:

Attend classes

Work with their teachers

And of course... do their homeworks

Once they agreed to a working routine and a homework plan , then there is no turning back. Tell them to buckle their seats until they finish their tasks. Discipline matters just as much as intellect and system when dealing with homework.

7. Teach Them Time Management 

Time management is the one of the most important tools for productivity.

Once your kids learn the benefits of being in control of their time, they position themselves to a life of success. Time management is not only relevant for homework. Instilling this behavior is a must from the get-go.

One tip is using an old analog wall clock and coloring in the hour when they should do answer their homework. Once the short arm reaches it, teach them to take initiative to do their tasks.

Help them in sorting the time out too, especially, if there are multiple homework in one seating.

8. Positive Reinforcement is a Great Hack

They say the best way to man's heart is through their stomach. Well, the best way to a child's heart is through snacks and treats . (I made that up)

Instead of threatening them to limit their TV watching time or call their teachers, why not compensate their efforts with some good ol' sweets? 

Reinforcing their diligence pushes them more to do it. Scare tactics are not as good as rewards to encourage a behavior. Although, do the positive reinforcement practice sparingly.  

Appreciating their efforts is another way to help kids with homework as this motivates them. You can do this by:

Posting their aced assignments or exams

Displaying their art projects on the fridge

It showcases how much you value their efforts and how proud you are of them.

9. Walk Away Once the Whine Fest Starts

How does walking away help kids on how to do homework? Well, it doesn't. It's more for your benefit than them.

Having a rough day at work is physically and mentally exhausting . Add another layer of whining because kids don't want to do their assignments, and you enter a whole new level of stress .

If they keep on complaining, check their homework progress.

If they are only being grumpy even when they can do it, then try to motivate them. Tell them that the sooner they finish, the more time they'd have to watch their favorite TV shows .

If the homework is indeed truly difficult, then lend them a hand.

Ask their teacher about it, especially if the homework is beyond the kid's level of understanding. Inquire if it's appropriate to give kids complex problems. Their teachers would love to hear feedback from parents, on top of that, to aid the pupils with their homework!

10. Let Them Take the Lead

Their Homework is not only a test of one's learning but also of a kid's sense of responsibility .

Their answers should be theirs and they must own up if they fail to do it. If they left their homework at home, then parents shouldn't bail their kids out by bringing their assignments to class.

Matt Vaccaro, a first-grade teacher, says that he makes students do their assignment during recess if they forget to do it at home.

According to him "Once she starts missing playtime, she gets the message."

This seemingly harsh yet rightful way to deal with their negligence actually motivates the kids to be responsible in the succeeding homework. 

Helping them how to do homework is as necessary as teaching them to be responsible for it.

11. Keep Your Composure and Carry On

Homework meltdowns do occur, so be ready!

These are children's ways of saying they're overwhelmed . And sometimes these kids are indeed struggling so bad. 

Parents, please keep your composure. Breathe and stay calm . You risk compromising their progress if you too burst out in frustration. Remember that homework is an opportunity to cultivate better parent-child relationships .

Here are ways to address homework meltdowns:

A simple hug might do

Speak words of affirmation like "we'll figure it out"

Let them vent out to you while you listen calmly

Sometimes, kids just need to blow off some steam. Catering to these needs are subtle ways of helping kids with homework. See the mood change after they've burst the bubble.

If ever you did lash out (although we hope not). Apologize immediately and tell your child that you both need a timeout for 10 minutes. They can play for within that period and resume working on the homework once the time is up.

Helping kids with homework is a dual purpose. You make homework accomplishment more manageable for them and you make life easier for you. Consider the above homework tips next time your kids have assignments.

The How-to-do-Homework Hack!

Some kids might still see learning as a chore, and that's okay. I mean, who likes to wake up early and be in class when they can play at home all day?

Making the most out of their curiosity helps transform their perception of learning — from a tedious and boring chore to a fun and interactive learning experience. We believe that the way to encourage kids to do their homework is by making them see the fun in learning.

The best way to do this is using educational toys! 

The STEMscope portable microscope is a good tool to cultivate your child's curiosity. This handheld science gadget is an all-around partner for your kid's best learning! 

Once they activate their curiosity, they develop the insatiable desire to learn, after that, they will see homework as fun learning opportunity!

Check out our complete catalog of science toys to find the best toy for your kid!

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How to Deal with Homework Frustration As a Parent

Last Updated: June 22, 2022

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 7,700 times.

When your child struggles with their homework, they may become frustrated or upset. In turn, this may cause them to act out, and you may wind up frustrated yourself. Fortunately, there are ways you can help your child calm down when they begin to become agitated. There are also strategies you can use to help them work through challenging assignments, and to help ensure homework sessions go more smoothly moving forward.

Overcoming Homework Frustration Together

Step 1 Acknowledge your child’s frustration.

  • Instead of becoming frustrated yourself, try talking to your child calmly. Start with a brief, sympathetic statement. For instance, say “I’m sorry your homework is stressful today,” or “I know it can be frustrating when an assignment is hard to understand.”
  • Then, let your child know that there is more than just one way to accomplish a task and that you will help them to find a way that will work for them. Say something like, “There is a way for you to get this done that will be less frustrating and I will help you figure it out.”

Step 2 Recommend a break.

  • Direct them to breathe in through their nose deeply and slowly for five seconds, and then release slowly through their mouth.
  • If you do lose your temper and shout at your child, apologize to them and remind yourself they need your help.
  • Once everyone is relaxed again, say something like, “Alright let’s have a look at this homework together.”

Step 4 Try to identify the source of frustration.

  • Listen to your child's response and respond with a way they can handle a similar situation differently in the future.
  • For instance, if they say, "I got mad because it was too hard," point out that they were able to complete the assignment, and had just gotten stuck on one problem. Then say, "Next time, you know you can always ask me or your teacher about parts of your assignment that don't make sense, right?"

Step 5 Don’t demand perfection.

  • Furthermore, anticipate and accept the fact that you will likely have a verbal battle about homework at one point or another.
  • If you find yourself getting frustrated when your child struggles with homework, take a moment afterwards to reflect. In particular, remind yourself that growing up involves plenty of challenges for children, and that your patient support will help them immeasurably. It is very important to work through challenges with your child rather than expecting them to figure it out on their own.

Helping Your Child Work on Their Homework

Step 1 Ask your child if they understand the assignment.

  • If they are not clearly able to explain the assignment, look it over yourself and see if it makes sense to you.
  • If you are able to understand the assignment, help them get started - but only enough to ensure they understand what they need to do. Then allow them to finish the assignment themselves.
  • Talk with your child’s teachers about the assignments and encourage your child to talk to their teachers when they don’t understand something. Let your child know that their teachers are there to help them.

Step 2 Correct rude or panicked speaking.

  • For instance, correct your child when they something like, “You’re wrong!” by saying, “It’s okay to think that I’m wrong, but try saying it differently.”
  • Offer them examples too, such as “Mom, I don’t think that’s how I’m supposed to do it.”
  • If your child starts to berate themselves, then correct them. For example, if your child says something like, “I am so stupid! I am never going to understand this!” reframe it by saying, “You are smart and you can figure this out.”

Step 3 Have someone else help them.

  • For instance, maybe a grandparent can help more peacefully.
  • Alternatively, consider searching for an older student to help tutor your child after school. Your child’s school may be able to help facilitate this arrangement.

Step 4 Talk to your child’s teacher.

  • If you think the homework your child is bringing home may be too challenging for them or for students their age, don't hesitate to mention this to their teacher.
  • If your child's teacher is not receptive to your input or does not provide adequate responses to your questions, speak with an administrator at the school about any unresolved concerns you have.

Encouraging Good Homework Habits

Step 1 Establish a homework plan together.

  • A half an hour will often be more than enough for grade school children, while an hour may be better for middle and high school aged kids.
  • Early evening is usually ideal. Avoid asking your child to do their homework right after school, unless this works for them. Some kids do better with homework on an empty stomach, while others may need to eat a meal and wait a bit before they can focus.
  • Make sure to give your child a chance to relax and decompress after school before they get into their homework. For example, you might make your child a snack and let them play a game or play outside for about 30 minutes to an hour before starting their homework.

Step 2 Encourage younger children to work in a communal area.

  • Avoid watching television or messing around on your phone while your child is working. Not only are these potentially distracting, they may also seem unfair to your child.
  • Set up a workspace for your child that is free of distractions. For example, you could clear the kitchen or dining room table so that your child can complete their homework there.

Step 3 Allow older children to work where they prefer to do so.

  • Favor language that praises their effort, as opposed to their ability. For instance, say things like, “I can see you’re working very hard on your homework. Good job!”

Step 5 Avoid threatening language.

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  • ↑ http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/going-to-school/supporting-your-learner/struggling-academically/
  • ↑ http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/deal-with-homework/
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pride-and-joy/201209/battles-over-homework-advice-parents
  • ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-teen-homework.html?WT.ac=en-p-homework-help-a#

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The New York Times

The learning network | how much do your parents help with your homework.

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How Much Do Your Parents Help With Your Homework?

Student Opinion - The Learning Network

Questions about issues in the news for students 13 and older.

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What’s the homework situation in your family? How much do your parents help with your homework? And in what ways?

Room for Debate recently asked whether parents should help their children with their homework or whether they end up doing more harm than good.

Experts weighed in with varying opinions.

Erika A. Patall, an assistant professor of educational psychology, writes:

When it comes to helping with homework, education and psychology research suggests that it all depends on how parents become involved. What is essential is that parents focus on supporting students’ motivation. Parent help can backfire when it involves providing instruction on homework content. In contrast, parents will support their kids’ school success when they communicate clear expectations and help students develop a homework routine. Students who have a clearly defined routine around homework — a set time, a set place and a set way to complete homework — are more likely to believe they can overcome challenges while doing homework, take more responsibility for learning, and ultimately do better in school. Homework is an especially good opportunity for parents to help young kids develop self-regulatory skills, by modeling study strategies and helping students set goals and make plans for completing homework. Parents should also give kids autonomy. When kids struggle with homework, parents sometimes have an instinct to take control by using commands, incentives, threats, surveillance, or just doing the work themselves. These tactics may work in the short term, but won’t benefit kids in the long run.

Martha Brockenbrough, a former high school teacher and the author of books for young readers, writes:

My daughters are 10 and 14. Once upon a time, I did everything for them. Then they learned and took over. This is a core principle of parenthood for me: If my kids can do it themselves, I don’t do it for them. My daughters sometimes wear questionable outfits and pack questionable lunches. Likewise, they’ve handed in homework that’s less than perfect. And this might look like incompetence, but when I see it, I see learning in progress. The principle seems to work equally well for all kinds of kids. One of my girls has learning disabilities and is in a private school that specializes in such things. The other is working two years ahead academically in a public school. Both have learned they prefer better grades and fewer corrections on their homework, so both do it carefully and on time.

Students: Read the entire article, then tell us …

— How much do your parents help with your homework? What kind of help do they provide?

— Do they help you develop a homework routine? Do they help motivate you and provide assistance when you ask?

— Do they ever use commands, incentives, threats or surveillance? Do they ever do the work themselves?

— Has the way your parents have supported you with homework changed as you have gotten older? Did they handle homework differently when you were in elementary school, for example?

— Does homework ever cause conflict in your family? How so?

— Are you happy with the way your parents support you with your homework? Or do you wish they would handle it differently? Why?

Students 13 and older are invited to comment below. Please use only your first name. For privacy policy reasons, we will not publish student comments that include a last name.

Comments are no longer being accepted.

– How much do your parents help with your homework? What kind of help do they provide?

Very little, and usually only when I asked. Unfortunately, despite both my parents being graduated, they had a tendency to do my work for me, especially in mathematics, and be rather impatient when I did not understand how they had done it.

– Do they help you develop a homework routine? Do they help motivate you and provide assistance when you ask?

They didn’t help; Until I entered 5th grade, when I was 11, I stayed the entire day at school, barely seeing my parents. The school caretakers, after the normal classes, helped us do homework. After my 5th grade, I had the morning for classes and then returned home. But, see, my father developed a thyroid condition in that year and had to be medicated heavily, which kept him asleep for most of the day, while my mother worked from 7am to 11pm. Both unable to reinforce any schedule, plus in that same year my school had financial problems which rebounded in teachers not passing homework and the whole administration was failing.

– Do they ever use commands, incentives, threats or surveillance? Do they ever do the work themselves?

They used to, and it left me frustrated because although the work was done, I didn’t understand a thing. Humanities were easier, because I could understand by reading a bit more, but mathematics and related– such as physics– I had to ask multiple times. My father had a doctorate in physics, but I hesitated to ask him for help as he usually explained something that went way over my head, and my mother had the tendency to take the notebook from my hands to do it herself, and not understand how I couldn’t grasp it.

– Has the way your parents have supported you with homework changed as you have gotten older? Did they handle homework differently when you were in elementary school, for example?

I don’t think so, as I stopped asking them. I find studying alone better, but it leaves a lot of gaps, especially in math.

– Does homework ever cause conflict in your family? How so?

It did, as it affected my grades. From that 5th grade (my 11 years) onwards, I couldn’t concentrate or didn’t have enough discipline to sit at home and make my homework. I also had problems remembering I had homework, as I couldn’t pay much attention in class. Usually, reaching the end of a bimester or trimester, where there were parent reunions and distribution of grades, my mother returned completely pissed, and it would be a few nightmarish hours of her screaming at me.

– Are you happy with the way your parents support you with your homework? Or do you wish they would handle it differently? Why?

I developed depression and suicidal tendencies in my teens. Today I’m 24, and still battle depression and a lack of discipline. I certainly wish it had been handled differently.

They help when they know I’m having trouble with a certain subject, and when they do they are patient about it. Yes, they have used commands and incentives, and I have gotten grounded, and I used to resent them for that. Now, though, I know that they have only ever wanted what’s best for me, including my education.

My parents rarely help me with my homework. When they do it’s usually because I am stuck on a problem and ask them to help me. Even then sometimes they can not help me because they don’t know how to do it either. When I was younger, my parents would keep a closer eye on the homework situation, and do a lot more to help me. Now it’s my responsibility to get my homework done and handed in on time. Which is good because it helps me get ready for college when they won’t be there to watch over me.

As a student in high school, my parents don’t help me out with my homework. They did help me a lot in elementary school but as time went on, they did not help me because the material was getting a lot harder. In elementary school, they helped me find what 2+2 was but as time went on they didn’t know how to find x if y=x2+9x-12. They helped me dramatically when the material was a lot easier. Once the material became harder, it was harder for them to teach me. At a certain point I couldn’t really ask them to help me because I didn’t want them to feel bad. I knew they tried their hardest to help me but once the material became harder, I had to learn how to teach myself the material. I knew that time would come. I had to start teaching myself once eighth grade came along. The material was getting tougher for the teacher to teach us let alone my parents to teach me. I know my parents tried to help me comprehend the material but they couldn’t do it any more once I went into middle school. They led me to the right direction in elementary school. They taught me a lot of things in elementary school that I carried out in middle school and high school. In eighth grade, they tried teaching me but they were doing it the wrong way. They would try to help me on my homework but once I got into class, all my answers were wrong. They tried helping me but it didn’t work out for my benefit. At a certain point, I had to say that I already did all my homework so they couldn’t try to help me out. I actually did work but not for long. They started asking questions. I always had my homework “finished” before I even got home. They started looking through my homework and found out I was still doing it wrong. I didn’t want to lie to them any more so I wanted to tell them the truth. I told them that they couldn’t help me and I didn’t understand the material. They told me that I should have told them a while ago. They called a tutor for me so I can actually understand what was going on during class. I did get caught lying but looking back at it, I am happy I did because it led me into getting a tutor that actually knew how to teach. My parents tried helping me with my homework but it didn’t really help me.

At sixteen years old my parents rarely help with my homework but when I was younger my parents would help more often. During elementary school, they would help me the most and then a little during middle school but not much. During elementary school when I would have trouble with a math problem they would help me solve it by going through the steps on how to solve the problem. If I was doing English homework and I did not understand what a question was asking my parents would explain what it meant using different words then the question used. These days with the common core curriculum it is going to get harder for parents to help kids with their homework because it is a different way of learning then what they are used to. When I was younger my parents would always encourage me to start my homework as soon as I got home. Ever since then, whenever I get home I always try and start my homework right away and get all of it done. This routine gets hard when sports start because I am not able to get my homework done right after school, because of practice, but whenever practice is over I try and get it done as soon as possible. My parents provide me with motivation to do my homework and also provide assistance when I need help. My parents rarely ever use commands, incentives, threats or surveillance and never do the work themselves. As I have gotten older, the support from my parents dealing with homework has been the same or maybe even increased. They have also encouraged my to do all of my homework, giving it one hundred percent and doing it the best that I can. Homework not only helps with reenforcing what you learned during the day but it can also improve your grade. During elementary school my parents would definitely help with my homework more then they do now because I was younger still needing help with many things. Now they still help me when I need help but they won’t do the problem for me, they will just explain what a question is asking or put a question in different words so it makes more sense for me. Homework rarely ever causes conflict in my family, but if it were to cause conflict it would be because of stress. Sometimes when people have a lot of homework or they are stuck on a problem they don’t know how to do they can have stress which may lead to conflict. I am happy with the way my family supports me with my homework, because they started encouraging homework at a young age which has helped me throughout the years. I always get all my homework done and complete it to the best of my ability.

Doing homework is can be super tough and a big hassle when it’s piled on more and more from each class period. I find it easier to do my homework on my own, but if I ask my parents to help me with something (not math) like proof reading an essay or simple asking them about a phrase or word I can’t remember. I don’t ask for help if it’s not to necessary, but whenever I do, they are always willing to help me get the answer.

i wish they would let me try a little more by myself

1.I usually get very little to no help on my homework from my parents and when they do help me wether or not their help is effective depends on the kind of work. 2. My parents will for the most part help me if I ask them they do not help me develop a routine but I have made myself one. 3. My parents don’t often do anything unless I ask them for help. 4. I had handled thing different than I did now in second and third grade when I started to need help from my parents about when to do my homework my parents for the most part support my changes in how I do home work. 5. Homework does not for the most part cause conflict in my family 6. I am happy with how my parents are handling my homework because it allows me to work independently

1). My parents help me a bit. Not too much though they don’t do it for me. If I don’t understand something they explain and I Usually get it after a few times. They provide me examples.

2). I don’t really have a homework routine. When I ask for help they do help but with a limit I do think that if the teachers are giving the work most kids should know it and not need help.

3). They don’t Usually command or watch me. If I am not doing it and they catch than I loose some autonomy.

4). They have changed there style of helping me with homework. I get more freedom but if I am messing around they get stricter which I find helps me.

5). Homework does cause conflict in my home. When my parents get mad about homework I get upset and turns into a fight.

6). I am happy with the way they handle homework. It helps me and It is sometimes annoying but in the long run it helps me a lot and I think it will help me.

1. My parents help me on my homework sometimes, but when they do they don’t do the work for me they help me figure it out for I can do it for myself.

2. My parents don’t motivate me to do it they just expect me to get it done becasie it’s my responsibility, they will usally help me when I ask them for my help.

3. They never command me or anything because it’s my responsibility and if I decide to not do it I get the punishment from my teachers.

4. My parents handle the homework the same as they did in elementary school, they helped me with my work but they didn’t do the work for me and they expected me to get it done or to know when I have to do it.

5. Homework never causes conflicts in my family because it’s my job to get it done and to self advocate if I don’t understand the homework, or if left it at school. My parents never yelled at me and told me to do my homework.

6. I am happy the way my parents support me with my homework I think nothing could get any better they help me when I need it and they are not looking over my shoulder when I’m doing it they leave it to me.

1.My parents don,t help me that much but they help me if I don,t understand a certain thing on my homework.

2.My Mom has had me develop a homework routine when I get home from school and my Mom is a great motivator to me a lot and she will provide assitence when I ask

3.Of course sometimes my Mom will get annoyed when I’m slow and not really concentrating and will tell to focus back in and hurry up and get it done.

4.My Mom has helped me practically the same way with homework since the 1st grade except I’m more Independant with homework now that I’m older.

5.Homework without a doubt will cause conflicts at home because me and my two sisters both have super busy schedules filled with activities during weeknights

6. I am happy with the way my parents help me with my handle homework,there very nice and patient about it.

Jaylin H 11/17/14 Writing

How ofter do your parents help you?

My parents rarely help me with my homework, if i need any help, which is not a lot, my parents would help me. My parents provide like teaching me how to do this then I got it on my own.

No my parents do not help me with a work routine I usually do my homework at my time when I want too. Yes they do help me and motivate me or provide assistance when I need help anytime.

Yes sometimes they use commands when I’m frustrated and they say come on get your homework done so you wont be so frustrated. Or sometimes they would threaten me if I don’t get my homework done i’m going to have to sit in my room for the rest of the night. If my parents are kind of confused or forget the work that I do they would have to do some of the work themselves.

When I was in kindergarden my dad used to help me every single day with my work and he would tell me to do my homework at this time every single day. So as I gotten older my dad has helped me less and less because he thinks I got this on my own. When I was In elementary school my parents helped me differently because they knew i had trouble in school everyday.

No my homework is not a conflict in my family we are usually calm about it.

Yes i’m happy about how my parents support me because they don’t really give me help because they give me more freedom and i could do this on my own and i’m just happy that they can give me more space while doing my homework.

My parents usually do not help with my homework at all. When my parents help they have almost always learned it a different way and can not help me. When they do it ends up being very confusing and does not work. If I need help I can just go into school early the next day and ask the teacher.

My parents like me to start my homework as soon as I get home. Sometimes that doesn’t happen, it depends on if I have a sport and when it is. For instance, if I have a sport in 20 minutes I’m not going to start my homework, but if I have one in 2 hours I will.

My parents have never really used any treats or surveillance that they are serious about, but if they did I don’t think they would work.

When I was in elementary school my parents used to help me a little. We released it just confused me more so sometimes I would ask my sister to help. Now I just ask my teachers for help in the beginning of the day.

Homework never really causes conflict, I can just finish it by myself and nobody has to get involved.

I’m happy my parents are not involved with my homework if I they where I think it would just be frustrating and confuse me. I’m also happy that the teachers are open to help in my school, or else I don’t know what I would do when it came to homework.

1Q)How much do your parents help with your homework? What kind of help do they provide? 1A) If I’m really struggling my parents will help me by explaining it in way I would understand and show me how to solve it and let me watch them do it than after they would make me do it and once I eventually get it they will leave me to try to finish on my own.

2Q)Do they help you develop a homework routine? Do they help motivate you and provide assistance when you ask? 2A) I don’t really have a homework routine because my scuduale changes everyday, but to help me get it done at a reasonable time each day they will give me reminders to get to work and start it

3Q)Do they ever use commands, incentives, threats or surveillance? Do they ever do the work themselves? 3A) If I’m procrastinating and getting off track my mom will always be there around me to get me back on track and even sometimes threat me to get it done or she won’t let me go to sports practice later on if I don’t complete my homework.

4Q)Has the way your parents have supported you with homework changed as you have gotten older? Did they handle homework differently when you were in elementary school, for example? 4A) Yes because when I was in elementary school they would help me a lot more and always be by my side while doing it an doing it with me. Now it’s more my job and on me to be getting it done and doing it alone.

5Q)Does homework ever cause conflict in your family? How so? 5A) Yes because if we all need help at the same time my parents can’t help all of us at the same time and I get home really late from practice and that causes a lot of homework conflicts in everyone.

6Q) Are you happy with the way your parents support you with your homework? Or do you wish they would handle it differently? Why? 6A) Yes I am because If I need help they will help me and make sure I get it.

If I am having a lot of trouble with my homework my mom or dad will give me an example to guide me with the rest of the work but they mostly want me to be independent. I never really had a problem making a H.W. routine or being motivated because I know it is just life you need to do homework. Because of this they have never had to threaten me and certainly never did my H.W for me. Even in my elementry school years my parents have always had the same values about working hard and being independent with my H.W. Unfortunatly, my sister is a huge precrasinater and is always on her phone and there has been huge conflicts when it is nine thirty at night and she has only gotten one page done. I am very happy with the way my parents have handled homework because it has shaped my good homework habits I have today.

Jason H 11/17/14 Literature/Writing A/P How Much Do Your Parents Help With Your Homework?

My parents only help me with my homework when I’m really stuck on a a problem or when I’m trouble understanding a question. Other then that my parents don’t help me with my homework. My parents do not help me develop a homework routine. It is automatic for me to come home and start my homework. Yes, my parents help motivate me and provide assistant when I ask. I ask for assistant when I don’t understand a question. No, my parents don’t ever use commands, incentives, threats or surveillance. No, they don’t ever do the work themselves. They would give me examples but not do the work. The way my parents have supported me with my homework has changed as I gotten older. It has changed as I gotten older because when I was much younger I would need a lot of help figuring the questions on my homework and now since I have gotten older I don’t need as much help with my homework. Yes, my parents handled homework differently when I was in elementary for example, my mom would sometimes sit next to me incase I would need help. After fourth and fifth grade my parents haven’t been sitting next to me just incase I would need help. I have been doing my homework on my own. No, homework doesn’t cause a conflict in my family. yes, I am happy the way my parents support me with my homework. I am happy with the way they support me because they don’t ask me if I got all my homework done. They know that I am responsible enough to get my homework done.

My parents help me a lot to finish my homework. They don’t really finish the entire homework for me .The only thing what they do for me whenever I find any problem to finish my homework and they only do that specific part for me and I don’t think that they should help me to finish the entire homework. They help me to develop a homework routine. Yes, they motivate me and provide assistance when I ask. They do use commands and incentives but not the other options. They don’t ever do the work themselves for me. No the way didn’t changed when I got older .yes they changed the way they liked to handle homework differently when i was in elementary school. No homework don’t really cause any conflict in my family because my parents are really cooperative to each other and in my case they are really responsible .Yes, I am happy with my parents support and in my opinion I think sometime they help me to finish the homework in Sunday night for the Monday school and it makes me thinking throughout the weekend but I wish if they would helped me Friday night in place of Sunday night for Monday school.at the end I would like say that I am really happy to have such an helpful parents.

For me my parents help me to do nothing with my homework, because they always tell me that is your homework. When I was some confused for homework they often give me prompt. No they don’t help me develop a homework routine. Yes when I ask them, they motivate me and provide assistance me. They never use threats and surveillance for me. I think do they ever do the work themselves, so they don’t do for me. Yes they supported me with homework changed as me have gotten older. When I was in elementary school, my parents handle math and Languages homework. Yes, does the homework ever cause conflict in my family, because for one question we have different opinion so does homework ever cause in my family. Yes I am happy with the way my parents support me with my homework, because if they don’t support me do homework, I think I will lose many happy things.

I strongly believe that parents should help their child with their homework, they can give them clue or tray to explain in an easier way to go through it, so they can do it themselves. I agree that Parents should not do the homework for their children because they’re not helping them to learn, I believe that kids in young age like six or seven, parents should teach them how to do it, so that can benefit kids in the long run. at the end When they grow, or become adult they will be capable to do any homework in school or college without their parents do it for them.

I think that when parents help their children, everything is going to be ok. Parent’s help all the time is necessary because when parents support their children the children get more motivation. Sometimes is not easy to get parent’s help because usually parents are working. If we want that our children do better in school we have to help them do their homework. Sometime when parents say something good to student we get motivation because we think that we aren’t alone in our run to college. I’m a student and sometimes is very difficult to tell my father that I need some help because sometimes he is very tired. Usually he says that I can do what I want, when he says that I feel so comfortable because I think that he is next to me. When parents give advice to their children and support them student do better in schools, colleges, and in different ways of our life.

As a mother, I love to be involved in with my son’s homework, he is kindergarten, so he needs it. I encourage him to it and he does it before he watches his favorite show on TV. Initially he didn’t like to do it, today he has fun doing it, I noticed that he had gained confidence because I usually post some of his work on the door of the refrigerator. I think he likes it. I noticed that he has gained confidence because he talks with the family about it, I hope, he will do it with less supervision. I think it is very important to help children with homework and teach them to love it

When I was in elementary school my father helped me to do my homework. My father helped me to learn English and mathematics. But my mother was always busy with household works because our family was joint family. We lived in a big house with many other cousins and uncles family. That’s why my father always helped me in my study. He gave me a homework routine. He also gave vocabulary list. He always gave warning to finish homework. What I progress in my life because of my father. He always wants that I and my siblings become a successful person. Without his inspiration I did not come here. My father is an angry person that’s why I finished my homework every day. When I was in high school he didn’t support the way he liked to do in my elementary school. I handled my homework alone. In my family home work does not create conflict. Yes, I am happy with my parents support.

I am mother, I have 3 kids, they are 17, 4, and 7 years old. I think that the parents have a lot of responsibility with the children. we need to help to kids when they don’t understand or when they need our collaboration because they feel better when we help to them. Is different to do than to help. They need more responsibilities in their homework, but when are kids, sometimes they don’t concentrate in homework. When they have any homework but they need my help of course, I help and give them necessary resource for develop their homework . I am very happy with my children because we are a set, we are united. For this reason we can help betwen ourselves. We have good supporting in our home because my oldest daughter help his brother with homework. In my home we try to buy different books or we have a web page with instruments necessaries for to do exercise in topics when they need help.

How much do your parents help with your homework? What kind of help do they provide? My parents helped me a lot, when I was child. Sometime when I couldn’t do some assignments like math, or other things, they were there to help me. Even now they help me although they do not know English they help me in Spanish. In my opinion when the parents help the children to do their homework everything is going to be better. Sometime the parents do not pay attention about their children, sometime when children need some help and their parents do not help them, the children will have some problems

How much do your parents help with your homework? What kind of help do they provide? My parents helped me a lot, when I was child. Sometime when I couldn’t do some assignments like math, or other things, they were there to help me. Even now they help me although they do not know English they help me in Spanish. In my opinion when the parents help the children to do their homework everything is going to be better. Sometime the parents do not pay attention about their children, sometime when children need some help and their parents do not help them, the children will have some problems.

What's Next

Should Parents Help With Homework? A How-To Guide

One of the toughest parts about seeing your kids through school is deciding to “let go.” To let them take responsibility, make mistakes, and “learn how to learn” under their own control.

But what happens when they get stuck, and aren’t able (or willing) to figure it out on their own?

Whether that’s on their first algebra assignment, a year-long science project they don’t know how to start, or a lingering book report where the due date has come and gone…

Sometimes it’s really hard to know when to step in and how to direct them without helping too much.

Ultimately the question we’re asking is:

Should parents help with homework? And if so, how much?

It’s one of the first questions we get from the parents we work with, so we put together a guide that you can use to find an answer that works for your family. Below is a breakdown of when it makes sense to lend a hand, and how to do it effectively.

Should parents help with homework? 5 common questions

First off, let’s address some common questions. Then we’ll outline some more general recommendations on what to do.

Question 1: How involved should I be when I review my daughter’s math homework and I see that there might be a wrong answer? Should I correct it or let her bring it to school with incorrect answers?

When your child starts a math assignment, it’s a great idea to make sure she understands the directions and watch her do the first few problems so she’s off to a good start and knows how to solve them.

A parent’s job is to make sure a child’s homework is complete, but not to critique it for accuracy – that’s the teacher or tutor’s job.

If it’s every now and then and your child is receptive to help, asking her to fix one or two answers is fine, but often what happens is that parents get in a power struggle over making sure the entire assignment is correct. Again, because you just want to aim for completion, don’t worry about one or two answers being wrong. I would let it go and let her get feedback in class from her teacher and classmates.

Question 2: What do I do when my daughter has a math question on her homework and I have no idea how to do it? The way that she is learning math is completely different than the way I learned. How should I direct her?

When your child is stuck, you have three options:

First, you can say, “Let me show you how to do it. This is the way.” However, it’s likely that your child will say, “Mom, that’s not how Mrs. Smith does it,” and there may be an argument or two on how to do it correctly.

You could also say, “You know what, honey? I already went to fourth grade. It’s your homework, not mine. You figure it out.” That’s probably not a great option either because your child won’t feel supported when they are frustrated with work.

The third and best way to assist with homework struggles, is to ask, “Are there other examples like this one in your book or in your notes? Have you ever seen this type of question before?” By encouraging your child to look for examples or similar problems, she’ll be more likely to solve the problem on her own.

Question 3: It takes my son a loooong time to complete his homework because he is constantly distracted or unfocused. How can I help him get it done in a reasonable amount of time?

Kids who toil for hours on seemingly simple assignments can be difficult to handle. And we actually have a name for them: “Super Bowl Kids” – the game is on for four hours, but they only play football for an hour.

Interestingly though, it isn’t that they’re not working diligently when they do finally sit down to work. They’re just easily distracted and taken away from that work frequently.

Research shows that when a task seems too large or difficult for kids (and students of any age), they often procrastinate more.

So in this situation, a timer is a surprisingly effective solution . Set the timer for 15 minutes at first, and let your child know that if they work as hard as they can for that 15 minutes, they get to take a 5-minute break when it’s done. Then repeat that process, slowly increasing the working time up to 25 minutes. Before they know it, the assignment is done, their confidence is up, and they’re onto the next thing.

Question 4: My daughter doesn’t write down her assignments since she thinks she can remember them. What are some tools we can use to work on this?

This one is much more common than you would think. The best solution?

First, set the expectation: they need to record their assignments somewhere. Then (and this is the key) allow them to choose how they’d like to do that. Whether it’s a good old-fashioned pencil and paper in a planner or agenda book, or by using an app on their phone, when kids get to choose the method, they’re much more likely to follow through.

Now keep in mind that writing down assignments is an important first step, but it’ll only take you so far without learning how to get organized and prioritize. Organization starts when your child walks through the front door after school, and should be an integral part of the evening routine each school night before they go to bed. Here are some easy organization tips you can implement in addition to recording assignments.

Question 5: My son struggles with tackling long-term assignments, so he procrastinates. How can I help him start his projects early?

As it turns out, this problem is actually very similar in nature to the “Super Bowl Kids” problem, in that students often procrastinate more the larger the project. And long-term assignments that may span an entire month or quarter exacerbate this tendency.

A great way to do this is to make Sunday dinners the jumping-off point for planning . They’re already at the table, away from distractions, so start by tacking on 15-20 minutes either before or after dinner to review upcoming assignments for the week.

You can ask “What is coming up in class that you might need to start working on?” If your child says, “I have a test on Friday” or “I have a science project due in two weeks,” you can then take the opportunity to help them talk through some forward planning. You can ask, “What might you do to break down that project into smaller tasks?” And then have them outline the steps they need to take.

Now, keep in mind that this may not apply to elementary students, who are going to need more parental help planning out long-term assignments until their executive functioning skills are developed enough to plan weeks ahead.

Your role as a parent: How to oversee homework and studying without going too far

When it comes down to it, our problem as parents is this:

It’s incredibly tempting to check online or in your kid’s backpack to see what’s due… or to jump in to help with homework at the first sign of struggle, especially if our children aren’t forthcoming about their workload or issues they’re having in class.

And on top of that, when our students struggle with motivation, it’s common for them to do the bare minimum or avoid homework altogether.

But in an attempt to “help” we often go too far. We end up enabling our children by constantly checking to see what homework is due, and helping them get it done on time, even though this task should be their job.

Here’s what we recommend:

1. A certain amount of involvement is appropriate for elementary-school students.

As I mentioned above, kids who are elementary school age haven’t fully developed their executive functioning skills, and so aren’t quite ready to go it alone when it comes to planning and working through long assignments independently.

All this means in practice is that when you know there’s an assignment coming up, sit down with them and ask “What are the steps you’re going to need to do to complete this ?”

Then, instead of fully leaving it to them to work it out, open up a dialogue and try to let them come up with the steps. Then, when they get stuck, assist along the way. As they get the hang of it, you can help less and less over time. But don’t be afraid to help the process along when they’re young. The question shouldn’t be “should parents help with homework?” but rather, “how much should we help?” at this stage.

2. If your kids are in middle or high school, resist the impulse to help.

I recently spoke to one mom who called our office looking for a tutor . She was in quite a quandary. She was making it a regular practice to tap into her freshman son’s school portal each day and print out his assignments so they would be ready for him when he came home from school. When asked why, she responded, “If I didn’t, he would never do them.”

They’ll never have the opportunity to develop the skills they’ll need to do that if you don’t set the stage for them to do these things on their own. So again, work with them to get the process started, but then adopt a “hands-off” philosophy so that they have the chance to work through it themselves.

3. Give them the tools.

Now once your kids start working through their homework independently, inevitably you’ll run across some issues with staying organized, getting their work done on time, and studying ahead of time for tests.

So it’s not usually enough to just set them loose on their work without helping them develop the skills they’ll need to make their way through it . These include:

  • Organizational skills , which help kids feel more in control of their work and confident that they have a handle on all of the homework and studying they have to do.
  • Time management skills, which will help them get started on their work, stay focused, and understand how long things actually take to finish.
  • Study skills, which help them make better use of the time they do dedicate to homework and studying.

As the old allegory says: “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” And that couldn’t be more true when it comes to studying and doing homework, so it’s worth the investment.

4. Give them a choice.

Some students find that apps that run on smartphones or tablets are ideal for this application where they are permitted. Others, although very few these days, prefer the old-fashioned assignment notebook.

5. Trust but verify.

Trust that your child has completed his daily assignments and planned out those that are long-term, but be wise enough to verify. This means that you may want to cross-reference what he says he has for homework against what is documented in the portal.

“Trust but verify” shouldn’t be daily, but should be used when you have that uneasy feeling that work has gone undone. Ask your child to log onto the portal with you there; do not do it on your own.

6. Work on communication rather than the schoolwork itself.

The question remains, “What do you do if the work still goes undone without your support?” The answer is complicated because the obstacle is typically deeper than missing assignments. So often, there’s a problem with communication.

Schedule a time to sit down with your child and discuss the issue without nagging or judging him. When kids feel as if their parents listen to them, they are more likely to listen to their parents. I can recommend a fantastic book and one that changed the way I deal with the students I teach and my own children. It’s called, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk . Check it out. It’s an easy read and so worth it.

In the end, communication is key and will help you navigate sticky situations when it comes to helping with schoolwork.

How much do you help?

Now over to you: How much do you help with homework?

Despite our recommendations above, we know full well it’s certainly not easy to find the right balance, and there is no one-size-fits-all way of handling it. Try to experiment until you find the right fit for your family.

If your child needs extra support, our expert tutors are here to help. We invite you to schedule a free 20-minute consultation, by clicking below and selecting a time to chat.

5 ways Google Assistant can help with homework

Take the headache out of homework with these tips.

mum can you help me with homework

I don't know how many times my teen has asked me a question about a topic I know nothing about during homework time and I've told her to Google it. It actually isn't bad advice.

Turns out, Google Assistant can help with a wide range of homework problems that hassle kids and parents every evening. These tips will make homework easier for everyone using Google Assistant. 

Set study timers

Studies show that frequent breaks during tasks can lead to better concentration and higher productivity . To make pacing your child's study time easier, you can schedule homework breaks using Google Assistant's timer feature. 

To set up a study timer, say, "OK Google, set my homework timer." Google will create a timer named My Homework and will ask you how long you want the timer to last. Once it gets your command, the timer will start counting down. Then let your kid know that when the timer goes off, it's break time.

5 new Google Assistant actions for your home and phone

mum can you help me with homework

Set reminders

If your child is really bad about remembering when to study for tests, set up reminders using Google Assistant. To either the Google Assistant app or a Google Home speaker say, "OK Google, set a reminder." Then, just answer the assistant's questions to save the reminder. 

At the beginning of study time ask, "Hey Google, what are my reminders?" to know exactly what needs to be studied that evening.

Foreign language classes can be tricky to study for, especially when mom or dad doesn't know the language. While it's not great at translating complicated sentences yet, Google Assistant can help with rudimentary questions like:

  • Hey Google, what is the Spanish word for bathroom?
  • OK Google, what does "n'est-ce pas" mean?
  • Hey Google, how do you say milk in Russian?

mum can you help me with homework

Use it as a calculator

Have you ever checked your child's math homework and had no idea if the answer is correct? I've been there, too. Thankfully, Google has equation solving abilities. 

For example, you can ask, "OK Google, what is pi times 49 squared?" Google Assistant will answer back, "The answer is 7,542.96."

Learn how to solve problems

Google Assistant can also teach you and your child how to solve math problems. For example, I've asked it, "Hey Google, how do you solve an algebraic equation with a fraction in it?" 

For complicated processes like these, Google will search for a good YouTube video on the subject and will bring it up on devices with a screen, like Google Home Hub , Lenovo Smart Display or your phone.

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Community Corner

Mom, dad, can you help me with my homework, it's tough getting kids to do homework. what do you do, benjamin gladden , neighbor.

mum can you help me with homework

Getting kids to do their homework can be tough – whether they’re just getting their first taste of real homework in fourth or fifth grade or they’re seniors at the high school.

What do you do to help your kids get their homework done? Use the comments section to share ideas.

Based on years of research, raising school-aged kids, tutoring other people’s kids, and even home schooling, here are a few ideas I’ve found helpful. These help develop habits that will help them complete tasks well beyond their school years.

Find out what's happening in Winchester with free, real-time updates from Patch.

  • Set a Routine. Get your kids in a habit of doing their homework at a certain time and in a certain place. My kids always do best when they start doing homework as soon as they come home. I tried giving them a break between school and homework, but it was too hard to get them back into gear for homework, but I know that sometimes kids need a break after school. Whether they do it right away or immediately following an early dinner, get them in the habit of doing it at the same time every day.
  • Provide the Right Environment. I read a lot about providing a quiet, peaceful atmosphere for students to do their work. This works for most kids, but not all. One of our kids does his best work with his favorite music playing in the background. I have no idea how he can focus, but he does.
  • Do the Work. This is obviously the big challenge – actually doing the work. I help the kids get settled in place to do their work and then check on them constantly. I also don’t give them breaks, unless they need to go to the bathroom or I can tell they aren’t thinking clearly. Call me mean, but work is work – you don’t get a lot of breaks in the “real world.”
  • Be Honest About the Work. Make sure the kids are doing their best and being honest about their effort. Allowing them to do “just enough” to complete the assignment, will set a terribly pattern for the rest of their life. Helping them doing their best will set a wonderful pattern for their future.
  • Ask Questions! Tell the kids to ask questions if they don’t understand. If I don’t know the answer, they call the teacher. We keep all the teachers’ phone numbers and email addresses handy.
  • Parents Review the Work. Although it is time-consuming and often tedious, having a parent review the work makes a huge difference. The student will be more conscientious about doing the work if they know mom or dad will be checking. They will also make a greater effort to do their best.
  • Parents Ask Questions. This was my hardest lesson as a parent – ask the kids if they have homework. You’d think they’d just bring their work home if they had it, but that’s not always the case!
  • Aim High. Kids should aim for As in their work. It may not be possible for every student, but they should all strive for that level of performance.

There are numerous books about getting kids to do homework. Here are a few that I’ve found helpful.

"How to Help Your Child with Homework" by Jeanne Shay Schumm

Here’s the book on Amazon.com.

Here’s the book at the library.

"Ending the Homework Wars" by Dean R. Garrison

"The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries" by Michele Borba

Here’s the book on BookEnds.com.

Here’s the book at the Winchester Library.

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch? Register for a user account.

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Mum baffled by son's confusing English homework - can you work it out?

A woman was left scratching her head and wondering what on earth the answer was when she was helping her son with his homework - but can you answer the tough question?

homework

  • 15:00, 11 Nov 2023
  • Updated 15:19, 11 Nov 2023

Helping your kids with homework is no joke, and can often take parents back to a time in their lives that they didn't particularly want to relive. Whether it's a maths, science, or English question, no matter what age group the question is for, it can leave you feeling anxious, red-faced, and wondering how on earth you're supposed to answer such a question.

One mum was left confused by her son's homework, so she shared it to a parents' Facebook page for help, hoping that someone else would be able to provide her with the right answer, reports Honey Nine. But would you have been able to help her? Before you scroll any further, have a proper look at the question and try and work out where the 'de' would fit in.

"My son got sent this home from school. Prefixes," she wrote. "Hoping one of you smart bunch can help. He had to use them all but we can find where 'de' should go." Many parents made light of the situation, saying that they were also struggling with how to answer it, with one joking: "His name is deGeorge?" "De end?" laughed another.

"I'm an English teacher and have been staring at this for what feels like years!", a teacher added. "De shouldn't go anywhere. If you need to use all the prefixes, the question is wrong." Others said that the 'De' prefix was only there to "throw kids off", rather than actually fitting anywhere in the question.

Some parents even went as far as to dismiss the entire concept of homework entirely, with one fuming: "Children do enough at school. Why homework? That's what I say."

Eventually, the mum updated the other parents after they were desperately trying to figure out the correct answer, saying: "Thanks for all the comments guys ... turns out you don't have to use them all. It's been driving me mad for days."

Did this confuse you? Let us know in the comments.

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15 Ways to Help Your Busy Mother Out around the House

Last Updated: December 4, 2022 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Wits End Parenting and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden . Wits End Parenting is a parent-coaching practice based in Berkeley, California specializing in strong-willed, “spirited” children with impulsivity, emotional volatility, difficulty “listening,” defiance, and aggression. Wits End Parenting's counselors incorporate positive discipline that is tailored to each child’s temperament while also providing long-term results, freeing parents from the need to continually re-invent their discipline strategies. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 394,955 times.

Wits End Parenting

Things You Should Know

  • Clean up after yourself to make your mom smile. If you've left a mess on your desk, on your bed, or in your room, tidy up.
  • Help with household chores that your mom normally handles. For instance, set the table or take out the trash.
  • Ask your mom what you can do to help her if you're not sure. She'll probably really appreciate your thoughtfulness!

Tidy up clutter in your room.

Help your mom by cleaning up any objects on the floor.

  • If you have a playroom or a family room that’s looking cluttered, do the same thing there as well.
  • Are there any dishes or cups in your room? Help your mom out by taking them to the kitchen to be washed.

Organize your school work.

Choose a specific area for your papers and backpack.

  • Having a homework spot doesn't just make your room look cleaner, it makes it easier to find what you need to get ready for school in the morning.

Make your bed.

Keep your room looking great by making your bed look nice.

  • If you know your mom is doing laundry later, help her out by taking the sheets off your bed and putting them in the laundry pile. Try to wash your sheets at least once a week to keep them looking and smelling fresh.

Set the table for dinner.

Grab plates, silverware, and napkins before you sit down to eat.

  • You can also pour cups of water for everyone at the table.

Feed and walk the pets.

Help care for your animals so your mom doesn’t have to.

  • You could also play fetch or play with toys inside the house.

Water the plants.

Grab a watering can and give your thirsty plants a drink.

  • Outdoor plants usually only need to be watered during the spring and summer. If it’s raining, your plants are being watered for you!
  • Some plants only need a little bit of water. If you aren’t sure whether or not yours need some, ask your mom.

Take out the trash.

When the trash can is full, bring the bag outside.

  • If you’re old enough to push the large trash bins out to the street, ask your mom when trash day is. Then, the night before, bring the bins out to the street for the garbage trucks to pick up in the morning.

Do a load of laundry.

Wash, dry, and fold the clothes to help your mom out.

  • Some clothes are delicate and need to be washed on a special cycle. Ask your mom beforehand if there’s anything you should set aside before putting in the laundry.
  • When the clothes are dry, fold them and sort them into piles based on where they go.

Vacuum or sweep the floors.

Clean the floors in your home to leave them looking spotless.

  • If your floors are really dirty, you could even mop them for your mom. Ask her where the mop and bucket are, then fill up the bucket with water and whatever cleaning solution your mom usually uses.

Make your own breakfast or lunch.

Prepare an easy meal for yourself that you can eat on your own.

  • Packing your lunch the night before makes the mornings of school easier.
  • If you have siblings, you can trade off whose turn it is to pack lunch or make breakfast for everybody.

Help make dinner.

Ask your parents what you can do to help make a meal.

Wash the dishes.

Clean up after a big meal to help your mom in the kitchen.

  • If you aren’t old enough to do the dishes yet, focus on taking your dinner plate to the kitchen and scraping any food into the garbage or compost.

Dust around the house.

Wipe off surfaces...

  • Be extra careful if you choose to dust electronics, like the TV or your computer. Always use a clean microfiber towel, and go gently over the screen so you don’t damage it.

Do some yard work.

Mow the grass or weed the garden outside on a nice day.

Ask your mom what to do if you’re not sure.

Your mom probably has plenty of chores in mind for you to do.

  • Your mom will probably really appreciate you wanting to help. Even if she doesn’t have a chore for you right that second, she’ll love knowing that you’re willing to clean up around the house and lighten her load a bit.

Expert Q&A

Wits End Parenting

You Might Also Like

Celebrate Mother's Day

  • ↑ Wits End Parenting. Parenting Specialists. Expert Interview. 5 March 2020.
  • ↑ https://pathways.org/chores-right-child/
  • ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/focused.html
  • ↑ https://www.chop.edu/news/chores-and-kids-how-much-should-you-expect
  • ↑ https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/family-life/routines-rituals/chores-for-children
  • ↑ https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Chores_and_Children-125.aspx
  • ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Household-Chores-for-Adolescents.aspx
  • ↑ https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/family-life/chores/chores-for-children

About This Article

Wits End Parenting

If you want to help out your busy mother around the house, try taking over a task she usually does, like preparing lunch for your siblings. Another option could be to put your dishes in the dishwasher after eating or wash them up in the sink. If you'd rather help look after your pets, make sure they have food and water, and are walked regularly. Then, encourage your siblings to follow your example by planning a "Mom's day off" when all of you will take over the chores for a day to give your mom a break. To find out how you can keep your own room clean and how to encourage others to help out around the house, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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My wife isn't 'just' a stepmom to my son. He sees her as his other mom.

  • Oops! Something went wrong. Please try again later. More content below

My wife has been in my son's life since he was 6 years old.

She has taken on a parental role, stepping in whenever I need extra help.

Even though she's his stepmom, my son considers her his other mom.

After Vice President Kamala Harris announced she was running for president, one criticism lobbed against her was that she is not a parent because she has never given birth to children. But she is the stepmother to her husband Doug Emhoff 's two children.

Like Harris, my wife is a stepmother to my son.

I am no longer in a relationship with his father and have been in a new relationship for four years. My wife came into my son's life when he was 6 years old and quickly stepped into a parental role. It was a role she enthusiastically took on.

Although she didn't give birth to my son, my wife is absolutely his second mother.

My son and wife's relationship started friendly

My wife didn't immediately take an authoritative role or force him to treat her like a parent. At first, she was more like a grown-up friend — someone he knew he needed to respect, but someone who would take him on drives to get ice cream or let him pretend to drive her car while I was inside the grocery store.

I was worried about parenting with another person all the time. As the primary parent, I wasn't used to dividing parenting duties . My wife was aware of that and always deferred to me as the primary parent.

But the bond between my son and my wife was instant. He had never met someone I was dating before, but he liked her immediately.

My wife has taken on more responsibility as a stepmom

Over the last four years, she's taken on more parental responsibility but never tried to act like she was more of a parent than myself or my son's father. She is a bonus mom, someone there to kiss him goodnight , help him with his homework, and love him unconditionally.

During the pandemic, my wife volunteered to take the lead in helping my son with virtual school so I could focus on work. She created a schedule for him, made him lunch, and ensured he kept up with assignments. When the playgrounds opened, she would take him to play, armed with a backpack full of whatever was needed.

I have gone on several overnight trips , leaving the two of them alone together. My son doesn't even call or text me when I'm gone because he's having so much fun hanging out with my wife. I never have to worry about him; I know my wife will make sure he takes a bath and goes to bed on time.

There are days when I will ask her to tag in and do the bedtime routine because I'm working or want a break, and she does it without question. My son knows that if he needs something, he doesn't have to come to me all the time.

Seeing my wife willingly step into a parental role with my son has strengthened our relationship. I knew I loved her almost immediately after we met, but seeing how my son responded to her made me more secure in my decision.

Sometimes, she still refers to him as mine, and I always remind her that she's his mom, too. We do everything as a team: school meetings, performances, birthday parties . Everyone knows us as his two moms, and there's no one else I could imagine doing this with.

My son now sees my wife as the missing piece to our family puzzle. He proudly claims her as his other mom.

"You're my mom too," my son will say when my wife calls herself his stepmom. He made that decision. My wife never wanted to force a close relationship on him, but he pushed for it.

Media has warped the perception of stepmoms

Popular media depictions of stepmoms are largely negative. The common trope is that they're evil.

For example, you have characters like Meredith Blake in the Lindsay Lohan version of "The Parent Trap," the Baroness von Schraeder in " The Sound of Music ," and, of course, the prototype: Cinderella's Evil Stepmother.

These women are always seen as temptresses who come in and seduce the father into marrying them before revealing they intend to get rid of his daughter so that she will be the only woman in his life.

Maybe there are stepmoms out there who fit this description, but by and large, stepmoms are there to be whoever their step kids want them to be.

I know that's exactly the role my wife plays, and my son and I are all the more lucky for it.

Read the original article on Business Insider

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    Provide a calm environment. The third key aspect is all about accommodating a space in which the child can be calm and within which they won't have too many distractions. It is also good to assign a schedule to begin and complete the homework. This should always be after the child has eaten and rested for a while.

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    Use these techniques to bring peace to your evenings — starting tonight! Old way: Sit beside your child so you can answer questions and fix his mistakes. New way: Stay available by doing chores nearby. When you hover, you essentially send the message to your kid that you don't think he can do the work.

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    2. Look up the answers online or in the back of the book. Many textbooks have all or half of the answers listed in the back of the book (especially math books). Your teacher may have found the worksheets or questions online, too, so search for the answers online. 3. Act like you did the homework, but forgot it at home.

  6. Helping Kids with Homework: 11 Actionable Tips for Parents

    Plus, answering homework by themselves is a good way to teach independent learning. With that in mind, here are the homework tips for parents: 1. Work Out a Working Routine. Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure.

  7. 3 Ways to Deal with Homework Frustration As a Parent

    Say something like, "There is a way for you to get this done that will be less frustrating and I will help you figure it out.". 2. Recommend a break. While you will want to revisit a frustrating homework assignment, you and your child will be able to communicate better when you're both calm.

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    Parents should also give kids autonomy. When kids struggle with homework, parents sometimes have an instinct to take control by using commands, incentives, threats, surveillance, or just doing the work themselves. These tactics may work in the short term, but won't benefit kids in the long run.

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    Time management skills, which will help them get started on their work, stay focused, and understand how long things actually take to finish. Study skills, which help them make better use of the time they do dedicate to homework and studying. As the old allegory says: "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.

  10. How to Do Homework: 15 Expert Tips and Tricks

    Here's how it works: first, set a timer for 25 minutes. This is going to be your work time. During this 25 minutes, all you can do is work on whatever homework assignment you have in front of you. No email, no text messaging, no phone calls—just homework. When that timer goes off, you get to take a 5 minute break.

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    Instead of shutting down the idea is to remain active mentally but in a manner that is calming or using a method that promotes your ability to process things slowly in a manner that doesn't cause stress. Google mindful rest and you will find a bunch of things that can help. 5. Reply. mama_meows.

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    To make pacing your child's study time easier, you can schedule homework breaks using Google Assistant's timer feature. To set up a study timer, say, "OK Google, set my homework timer." Google ...

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    Watch this hilarious TikTok video where a mom gets interrupted while cooking by her child's homework plea. It's a comedy skit that will make you laugh! Keywords: TikTok, funny video, mom, help me with my homework, cooking, comedy skit. This information is AI generated and may return results that are not relevant.

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