my son needs help with his homework

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How to Help Kids With Homework

Helping your child with their homework is an opportunity to connect with them and improve their chances of academic success. As a parent, you can reinforce concepts taught in the classroom and nurture good study habits . Helping with homework shows your child that you believe their education is important.

What Is the Best Way I Can Help My Child With Homework?

You don’t need to be a certified teacher or an expert in a subject in order to help with homework. You can help by developing your child's time management skills, introducing strategies to stay organized, and offering words of encouragement. 

Here are some homework tips for parents:

• Know their teacher . Attending parent-teacher conferences, getting involved in school events, and knowing how to get in touch with your child’s teacher can help you better understand homework expectations.
• Family study time.  Set aside time every day for homework. Some kids do best by jumping into homework right after school, while others need a break and will be better focused after dinner. 
• Set a good example. Family study time gives you the opportunity to model studious behavior. Demonstrate the importance of organization and diligence by paying bills or planning your family’s budget during this shared time. Reading while your child completes their homework instills the idea that learning is a lifelong and enjoyable pursuit. Your example will be far more impactful than your lectures.
• Designate a homework space.  Having a designated space for homework can help your child stay on task. It should be well lit and have extra school supplies within reach.
• Help with time management.  If your student has a lot of homework, encourage them to break the workload into smaller and more manageable tasks. Create a schedule for the evening to ensure they get through their long to-do list , including opportunities for breaks.
• Don’t do the homework for them.  Helping your child with homework isn’t the same as doing your child’s homework. You can make suggestions, but your child must do the work for meaningful learning to take place. Have patience, allow them to struggle a little, and resist the urge to simply give them the answers.

How Do I Help a Child Struggling With Homework?

Struggling through challenges is an important part of learning. Research shows that something called “productive struggle” is essential to learning new concepts. Too much struggle, however, can be demoralizing and counterproductive. So where's the line drawn between productive struggling and counterproductive struggling? You know your child better than anyone, so trust your instincts and step in before your student becomes overwhelmed.  

Consider these tips if your child's struggling with homework:

• If your child's already stressed out or frustrated, start with taking a break.
• Engage your child in a conversation so you can understand where they're stuck 
• Offer hints or guidance to help them move forward
• Resist the urge to do their homework or give them the answers
• As soon as your child understands how to resolve the issue, step back and let them continue without your direct assistance
• Avoid stressful cramming and last-minute panic by helping your student plan ahead for tests and long-term assignments.
• Offer your child encouragement and praise them for their perseverance.
• Work on your own paperwork or read nearby as your child completes their homework to help them stay on task.
• Reach out to the teacher if additional assistance is needed and remind your child to ask questions at school when they're confused

Should I Help My Child With Math Homework?

Math is taught differently now than it was twenty or thirty years ago. The Common Core Standards are used in 41 states, and most other states follow the same principles even if they don’t call them the Common Core. Instead of memorizing specific ways to solve math problems, students today are asked to solve problems in several different ways and explain the strategy they used. 

For many parents, their child’s math homework seems complicated and confusing. The goal of this newer method, however, is a deeper understanding of mathematics. Just because you learned math in a different way doesn’t mean you can’t help with math homework. 

• Focus on non-academic help . You can help your student by offering encouragement, tracking assignments, and helping with time management. Create a distraction-free time and place for them to focus on their math homework. 
• Learn how it’s taught. Understand how math is taught at your child’s school. Some school districts offer parents a math night or online resources to help them better understand the way math is taught at schools.
• Reach out to the teacher. Ask the teacher for insight on how you can support your student at home. They might point you towards resources that align with their curriculum or offer additional help to your student at school.

At What Age Do You Stop Helping With Homework?

Some research has shown that the connection between student achievement and parental involvement in schoolwork is strongest in the elementary years but declines in middle school. By the time your child enters middle school, parents helping with homework can do more harm than good. At this stage, parental help with homework is associated with lower student achievement.

While you should be helping a lot less with homework, middle school isn't the time to retreat from your child's education. Non-homework forms of parent involvement are strongly associated with higher academic achievement. There are many ways you can support your middle schooler’s success. 

• Monitor assignments and test scores
• Attend school events
• Participate in parent-teacher conferences
• Ask questions about classes and what your child is learning
• Continue to encourage a regular study time and place at home

Ideally, you laid the groundwork in the elementary years and good study habits are well established by middle school. While your child will outgrow the need for your direct homework assistance, they'll never outgrow the need for your support and encouragement. 

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Helping Kids with Homework: 11 Easy & Do-Able Tips for Parents

Tips for Smart Parenting 09/21/2021 11 minute read

Homework is the bane of every student, as it is for the parents.

As a matter of fact, homework is not even necessary in the first place.

Before you react, there are countless studies to validate this claim. But even if we go on a hard-fought, well-thought, debate on whether homework is important or not, homework is here to stay. 

That said, helping kids with their take-home assignments is a duty we have to fulfill. But how exactly do we do it?

Below are actionable parenting tips to help your kids with their homework without doing it for them!

You might be interested:  How to Support Kids Learning Science and Why it Matters?

Parenting Tips on How to Do Homework with Kids

We used to believe that parental availability and support while kids do their assignments is key for their class success. "The more involved parents are, the better off they would be," so to speak. 

But that is a misconception and sometimes may even be counterproductive. As Kathleen Reilly said:

“When parents are overly immersed in homework, they deny kids the chance to become more independent and confident. Worse, it can breed anxiety along the way.” 

Helping kids with homework means that you offer your support but never treat the assignment like it's your responsibility. It's challenging, but kids need to do homework on their own because the assignments deal with lessons already discussed in class. Plus, answering homework by themselves is a good way to teach independent learning .

With that in mind, here are the homework tips for parents:

1. Work Out a Working Routine

Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure .

This helps children feel more secure because they know what to do and what's expected of them.

Face it, nobody likes homeworks. But make it easier for your kids to do their's by doing routines such as below:

What time should they start? Set a definite time when they should do their homeworks. Will it be right after they arrive from school? Should they play for an hour first? Would they do it after shower time or after dinner?

Where is their homework place? The place they choose is likely the area they feel most comfy working in. That element adds extra help when doing homework. Find a place and stick with it.

If you have multiple kids, distinct routines for each are fine. What matters is that you enforce discipline and commitment to the schedule. Write the details on a sheet of paper and post their routines on the wall!

2. Make a Homework Plan

The routine simply tackles the when and where kids do their assignments. A homework plan focuses on how they do it. 

Doing homework needs to be systematic , both for you and the child. Approach homework from a systematic point of view and you save yourselves time and whine.

The example below is the system I found most suited for my children. You can follow it or fashion your own process, whichever works best. Here's what my kids do:

Read  the directions of the homework, twice.

Determine the goal and the steps needed to achieve it.

Divide the assignment into several chunks (if logically possible).

Set time limits for each portion and mark each as complete when finished.

Helping kids with homework is not about giving them all the answers. It's about  strategizing on how to finish the homework effectively and efficiently.

3. Monitor, Don't Correct

Let's get back to basics .

What is the purpose of homework?

Homework allows teachers to gauge what the students understood in class. That said, mistakes are welcomed.

But since most parents dread the idea of making mistakes, they try to  correct each flaw too often all for a perfect remark.

Word of advice: Teachers are well-aware of how your kids perform in class, so they know the truth.

My point is, remove the notion of absolute perfection from your kids.

It's okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn how to correct them on their own ! There should be no pressure on them to avoid mistakes at all costs. Encourage an atmosphere of growth. But, make it clear to your kids they should resolve their mistakes the next time around, once they understand the correct answer.

Do this instead:

Allow your kids to ask you up to 3 questions on their homework. But, be stingy on answering their questions right away.

When they ask, reply to them something like "I can help you once I finish my chores" or "Read it again, I'll be back in a sec."

You might not realize it, but this is one subtle way to help kids with homework. When you delay your aid, you gently force them to reread the directions and rework the problem on their own.

Monitor and ask them probing questions on the reason behind their homework answers.

4. Set an Example to Imitate

Helping kids how to do homework can also mean modeling the behavior to them. This is a parenting hack that most parents fail to practice.

It can be a good motivating factor for the kids if you do chores like budgeting or computing household expenses at the same time they do their assignments.

This is one indirect way to teach kids how to do homework. Set a good example and you'll find them following your footsteps.

5. Don't Sit Beside Them

Sitting and closely monitoring your kids as they answer homework is not at all helpful.

Behind the scenes, it sends a message to their brains that you might think they can't do the work without direct supervision.

Would you like that? Of course not!

Helping kids with their homework should also tap into the emotional aspect of learning. Show them that you trust their brains by letting them do their assignment on their own. Otherwise, you shatter their self-confidence leading to feelings of inferiority.

Here are my suggestions:

Stay nearby, do chores, balance your checks, wash dishes. Basically, just be there for them, without literally sitting beside them.

6. Establish the No-Nonsense Responsibility

Make the duties of each member in the family clear.

Of course, both you and your partner have work responsibilities, and so do the kids! They're expected to be diligent with their responsibilities:

Attend classes

Work with their teachers

And of course... do their homeworks

Once they agreed to a working routine and a homework plan , then there is no turning back. Tell them to buckle their seats until they finish their tasks. Discipline matters just as much as intellect and system when dealing with homework.

7. Teach Them Time Management 

Time management is the one of the most important tools for productivity.

Once your kids learn the benefits of being in control of their time, they position themselves to a life of success. Time management is not only relevant for homework. Instilling this behavior is a must from the get-go.

One tip is using an old analog wall clock and coloring in the hour when they should do answer their homework. Once the short arm reaches it, teach them to take initiative to do their tasks.

Help them in sorting the time out too, especially, if there are multiple homework in one seating.

8. Positive Reinforcement is a Great Hack

They say the best way to man's heart is through their stomach. Well, the best way to a child's heart is through snacks and treats . (I made that up)

Instead of threatening them to limit their TV watching time or call their teachers, why not compensate their efforts with some good ol' sweets? 

Reinforcing their diligence pushes them more to do it. Scare tactics are not as good as rewards to encourage a behavior. Although, do the positive reinforcement practice sparingly.  

Appreciating their efforts is another way to help kids with homework as this motivates them. You can do this by:

Posting their aced assignments or exams

Displaying their art projects on the fridge

It showcases how much you value their efforts and how proud you are of them.

9. Walk Away Once the Whine Fest Starts

How does walking away help kids on how to do homework? Well, it doesn't. It's more for your benefit than them.

Having a rough day at work is physically and mentally exhausting . Add another layer of whining because kids don't want to do their assignments, and you enter a whole new level of stress .

If they keep on complaining, check their homework progress.

If they are only being grumpy even when they can do it, then try to motivate them. Tell them that the sooner they finish, the more time they'd have to watch their favorite TV shows .

If the homework is indeed truly difficult, then lend them a hand.

Ask their teacher about it, especially if the homework is beyond the kid's level of understanding. Inquire if it's appropriate to give kids complex problems. Their teachers would love to hear feedback from parents, on top of that, to aid the pupils with their homework!

10. Let Them Take the Lead

Their Homework is not only a test of one's learning but also of a kid's sense of responsibility .

Their answers should be theirs and they must own up if they fail to do it. If they left their homework at home, then parents shouldn't bail their kids out by bringing their assignments to class.

Matt Vaccaro, a first-grade teacher, says that he makes students do their assignment during recess if they forget to do it at home.

According to him "Once she starts missing playtime, she gets the message."

This seemingly harsh yet rightful way to deal with their negligence actually motivates the kids to be responsible in the succeeding homework. 

Helping them how to do homework is as necessary as teaching them to be responsible for it.

11. Keep Your Composure and Carry On

Homework meltdowns do occur, so be ready!

These are children's ways of saying they're overwhelmed . And sometimes these kids are indeed struggling so bad. 

Parents, please keep your composure. Breathe and stay calm . You risk compromising their progress if you too burst out in frustration. Remember that homework is an opportunity to cultivate better parent-child relationships .

Here are ways to address homework meltdowns:

A simple hug might do

Speak words of affirmation like "we'll figure it out"

Let them vent out to you while you listen calmly

Sometimes, kids just need to blow off some steam. Catering to these needs are subtle ways of helping kids with homework. See the mood change after they've burst the bubble.

If ever you did lash out (although we hope not). Apologize immediately and tell your child that you both need a timeout for 10 minutes. They can play for within that period and resume working on the homework once the time is up.

Helping kids with homework is a dual purpose. You make homework accomplishment more manageable for them and you make life easier for you. Consider the above homework tips next time your kids have assignments.

The How-to-do-Homework Hack!

Some kids might still see learning as a chore, and that's okay. I mean, who likes to wake up early and be in class when they can play at home all day?

Making the most out of their curiosity helps transform their perception of learning — from a tedious and boring chore to a fun and interactive learning experience. We believe that the way to encourage kids to do their homework is by making them see the fun in learning.

The best way to do this is using educational toys! 

The STEMscope portable microscope is a good tool to cultivate your child's curiosity. This handheld science gadget is an all-around partner for your kid's best learning! 

Once they activate their curiosity, they develop the insatiable desire to learn, after that, they will see homework as fun learning opportunity!

Check out our complete catalog of science toys to find the best toy for your kid!

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How to help your child with homework

by: The GreatSchools Editorial Team | Updated: June 13, 2023

Print article

Here are ways to best help your child when she’s doing homework:

Have your child settle into a good study space.

Help your child focus., keep school supplies close at hand., set up a regular time for homework., stay close by while your child does homework., review the work when your child says he’s finished..

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Am I Supposed to Be More Involved in My Child’s Education?

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. In addition to our traditional advice, every Thursday we feature an assortment of teachers from across the country answering your education questions. Have a question for our teachers? Email [email protected] or post it in the  Slate Parenting Facebook group .

I have been wondering this since the early days of Zoom kindergarten (when our oldest started school). How much involvement do teachers want from parents at home? We’re not delinquent parents, but we are pretty hands-off when it comes to school. We engage our kid in activities, he excels in math, we read to all the kids daily (and have since infancy), but we don’t make sure he’s doing assignments or sit down by his side to walk him through a homework sheet. (Obviously if has a question we help him!)

I just remember my parents being very hands-off throughout my entire education, like they looked at my report card and that was the extent of it (granted I usually brought home A’s and didn’t give them trouble) but they never asked me what my homework was and sat me down to do it. I guess my question is, how hands-off is too hands-off?

Obviously no one likes a helicopter parent, but there’s probably a big gray area and I don’t know where I should fall in there. I don’t want to neglect their schooling but also isn’t the point of school to learn to do things yourself? When I see how friends help their kids with schoolwork and organization it makes me feel like I’m neglecting my kids. One time this year the teacher sent a message saying our son wasn’t completing phonics worksheets in school and she was sending them home with him, and we made sure he completed them, but that’s been about it. Thanks!!

—Too Hands-Off?

I don’t think there is any right or wrong answer here. I believe if your involvement is working for your child and your family then I wouldn’t change a thing. To say parental involvement is a grey area is an understatement. As a second-grade teacher, I’ve had parents request to basically serve as a teaching assistant, and parents with whom I interact 2-3 times a year. Every family’s philosophy here is different and most teachers are usually happy to meet you where you are.

If your child is happy, performing well academically, and has no behavioral issues, I see no point in fixing what isn’t broken. That is, unless the teacher requests some additional help with special projects like classroom parties or events. The truth is that managing parental expectations can become almost as difficult as managing student needs. Personally, I have always appreciated parents who are supportive but distant. Meaning, they’re available to help when needed, but also give their children the space needed to develop a strong sense of academic independence.

—Mr. Hersey (elementary school teacher, Washington)

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Our son is 15 and a high school freshman. He is very quiet (always has been), a good but reluctant student, and a nice kid with a good sense of humor. He also sees a therapist and is on medication for anxiety. Sometimes I think one of his goals is to get through each day with no attention being drawn to him.

He had a tough time schooling from home for the end of seventh grade and about half of eighth grade. He went back into school in March 2021 as soon as in-person was an option. I think he missed some key elements of middle school—learning to juggle different classes and teachers, for example. His transition to high school has been a bit bumpy but for the most part he is handling things well. However, he is very reluctant to speak up for himself. Every week or so, I sit down with him to look at the electronic gradebook which shows all of the tests, quizzes, assignments, etc. that have been graded for each of his classes. We started doing this with him in middle school because he had difficulty handing things in electronically and had many assignments marked as missing that he thought he had completed and handed in.

This year missing assignments have been less of an issue but haven’t completely disappeared. Last night, we discovered a missing biology assignment that he said he handed in. (Unlike most of his work, this was an assignment that was actually done on paper so there was no way for us to resubmit it electronically). He didn’t want to talk to his teacher about it—he hates having to assert himself in this way. So we suggested that he write the teacher an email, which he also was reluctant to do. He can’t articulate why he dreads this. Eventually, we helped him come up with the language for the email and he sent it.

My question: How do we help him feel more comfortable speaking up for himself? We are trying to let him handle more on his own but I’m wondering if there are any ways we can help him build up his confidence. When I went to parent-teacher conferences in the fall, most of his teachers seemed to have a good grasp of who he is and appreciated his quiet manner and attentiveness in class. Do most high school teachers try to track down missing assignments? Our son seems completely shocked whenever we find one listed.

—Soft Spoken

Dear Soft Spoken,

I think the only way for your son to become more comfortable asserting himself is to have more experience doing so. I’m glad that you had him send the email himself, with your support. I think that is a step in the right direction. You might also try role-playing with him, where he practices what he will say to his teacher. I suspect that his fear of speaking to his teacher is related to his anxiety, so it would be good for him to discuss this with his therapist as well.

I will also say that some of this trepidation may improve as he matures. Many students who lack the confidence to advocate for themselves in ninth grade are able to speak with a teacher independently by senior year.

In my experience, most teachers make a good faith effort to collect missing assignments from students. However, that depends on how busy and stressed out they are. Give how difficult things have been for the past two years, our stress levels are through the roof. And while I certainly hope that your son’s teachers will follow up with him when he’s missing something, advocating for himself is an important life skill that will serve him beyond high school.

I wish your son good luck!

—Ms. Holbrook (high school teacher, Texas)

I’m looking for book suggestions for my 13-year-old son—a VERY reluctant reader with some reading comprehension issues. The last book we read together (it works best for us if we take turns reading) was Ender’s Game , and before that Adventures of Zorro . He can handle fairly adult subject matter and doesn’t like things “dumbed down.” The only caveat is that it cannot be an advanced reading level. Some things he likes are fantasy like Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and military history—ancient Romans, Ottoman Empire, Samurai, etc., as well as Star Wars , but we are open to all suggestions!

—Raising a Reluctant Reader

If he liked Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card has of course published a bunch of other books. I don’t buy them new because I like to vote with my feet , but I’ll occasionally pick them up in thrift stores.

How about Isaac Asimov’s books? They’re generally interesting to high school kids but written at a reasonable level for middle school. His whole Foundation series might catch your son’s attention. Same goes for many Ursula K. Le Guin novels, such as Wizard of Earthsea or the Annals of the Western Shore trilogy. He’d probably enjoy Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein. It has a pro-military tone typical of the publication era, which could catalyze some interesting discussions. Or what about Shogun by James Clavell? Ken Liu has a series called the Dandelion Dynasty and a book of short stories titled The Paper Menagerie . Come to think of it, short stories are often less intimidating to reluctant readers.

The other thing you might consider is classics like The Count of Monte Cristo —wait, hear me out. That book is enormous and can be cumbersome for even enthusiastic readers, but what if you read the graphic novel or watched the movie first? I’ve found that when I give a synopsis or show a movie version to my students (which I do with Romeo and Juliet , for example), they are much more able to digest the text.

Lastly, I don’t know if you guys have abandoned any books, but I’m a big proponent of doing that. It’s good practice in general but especially for reluctant readers. Avoid slogging. Give a book 40-50 pages, and then if he’s not on board, ask him if he wants to ditch it and try something else.

Regardless, you’re doing a great thing for your son by being invested in his reading—keep it up.

—Ms. Scott (high school teacher, North Carolina)

I have a son who is 11 (so theoretically sixth grade), who is accelerated a minimum of two years in each subject and therefore is counted as an eighth grader. However, he has missed…a lot of school due to illness. A minimum of 7 days in quarters 1-3, and now four weeks into Q4 he’s not attended 13 days of school. These are clearly defined illnesses (active Omicron and associated quarantine counted for 9 days for instance, local stomach bug for two or three days, allergies so bad to need a day off), and the school has been great about sending work home and he’s generally been great about doing it. His grades have suffered a little, but on the level of an A to a B+ in most cases.

Given all of this, how much would you worry? The school is very flexible and has no concerns so far, and is assuming he will be in a ninth grade curriculum for most subjects next year, but 30 days is a lot of school to miss, even if about half of that has been made up with some form of virtual instruction.

A secondary question: He tends to fly through his makeup work and gets far lower marks (C+) compared to anything he’s in class for (A). Any advice on getting him to slow down on his makeup work? We don’t care about the grades. We do care about him learning the material and not missing instruction if possible.

—Slow Down?

Dear Slow Down,

I would not worry about the missed days if he is learning the content and mastering the skills required to advance. It’s not ideal to miss school, of course, but at your son’s age, a great deal of learning can be done independently. The real loss is likely in his opportunity to collaborate with peers, negotiate friendships, resolve conflict, and manage his relationships with teachers, coaches, etc. These are the skills that make in-person school so very important, even when a student is capable of mastering much of the content independently. But these skills can also be practiced in activities outside of school, through things like sports, drama, summer camp, arts classes, Scouting, and the like.

If your son’s teachers feel confident about his academic progress, you can, too.

As for the independent vs. in-person learning, it’s likely that not having peers to whom he can compare the quality and quantity of his work is impacting him negatively. When students work in isolation, their understanding of excellence is often entirely dependent upon their own opinion and judgment. In class, however, kids can eyeball the work of others, ask questions of their peers, and compare their efforts to those around them. Maybe your son could find a way on those at-home learning days to connect with a peer in school to compare work, or you could ask teachers to provide examples of excellence to which your son can compare. This may help.

—Mr. Dicks (fifth grade teacher, Connecticut)

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I feel like I am in crisis. I have three wonderful, adorable young children. For years, I have been unsatisfied in my marriage for very typical reasons. My husband and I have no physical and little emotional intimacy, though we do have a low-conflict household. I carry the bulk of the labor in our household concerning all domestic and child care responsibilities, despite the fact that I work full time at a stressful career. My husband is impatient with the kids and does not seem to like being around them. I can’t help but feel I’d be happier divorced.  What should I do?

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Help for kids struggling with learning.

How to find the right professional to work with your child

Writer: Caroline Miller

Clinical Expert: Matthew Cruger, PhD

What You'll Learn

• How do I know what kind of help my child needs?
• If my child isn’t getting the help they need in school, where can they get it?
• What is the difference between a tutor, a homework helper and an educational therapist?

Kids may struggle with learning for several reasons. Some might have difficulty with reading or math. Some have trouble processing instructions. Others have trouble organizing their thoughts and the steps it takes to get homework done. And the parents of these kids struggle with how to get them the best kind of help.

Sometimes specialists at school can help, either in the classroom or in special sessions. But many parents end up looking for help for their kids after school. And they don’t always know what to look for.

If your child is just having trouble with one subject, a tutor may be the best way to go. They give the extra help and support your child’s teacher might not be able to give in a classroom. If the issue is breaking down tasks and organization, a homework helper may be the right choice. They can give your child structure and help them get organized.

But if your child has serious learning issues, they may need to see an educational therapist. They are experts who can help your child get better at the skills they need to keep up at school. Some have backgrounds in special education or in speech and language development or even in psychology. They will determine what kind of learning issue your child has. Then they will work with them to build on your child’s strengths and shore up weaknesses so that they can improve at school in general. Educational therapists also help to build up the confidence of kids who are discouraged or anxious because they’ve been falling behind.

Wherever there is a child struggling in school, the odds are there are parents struggling to figure out how to find the most effective help for that child.

Some kids find themselves falling behind their peers, despite a lot of effort, because they are frustrated by learning disorders . Some fall behind because they have a hard time focusing on learning, or making an organized effort to get homework done.

Some of the kids who are struggling will get the support they need to succeed from specialists at school , in the classroom or in sessions outside of class. But many, many parents each year find themselves looking for help after school.

That’s where things can get confusing: Are you looking for a tutor, a homework helper, or an educational therapist ? That depends on what your child needs .

Subject Support

If your youngster is failing in one particular subject, a tutor might be the way to go. It’s easy to understand what a tutor is and does: she is knowledgeable in a particular subject area, and she can bolster a child’s success in that subject by filling in background information your child might have missed, and offering more explanation and practice to help the student acquire the necessary skills.

Homework Support

If your child’s challenge isn’t a particular subject, but trouble settling down and tackling the work itself, a homework helper might be the ticket. A homework helper does just that: help with homework by providing structure and support. Many, if not most, parents fill that role for their kids, being present and providing back-up when kids get confused or unfocused.

But when children have unusual difficulty with the work, and homework becomes a major area of conflict, having a professional homework helper on the case can be a big relief for both parents and kids. It’s not a form of therapy, notes Matthew Cruger , PhD, senior director of the Child Mind Institute’s Learning and Development Center, but the result can be therapeutic: Helping a child succeed at homework without involving mom or dad can remove a lot of stress from the whole family’s evening.

Learning Support

For a child who has serious learning issues, an educational therapist works with him not so much to get the homework done as to strengthen the skills he needs to be able to keep up. Educational therapists come to the task with a range of professional backgrounds, from special education to speech and language therapy to psychology. What they have in common is that they come to understand an individual child’s learning style, and then help him develop skills and strategies that will enable him to build on strengths and compensate for weaknesses.

For a child with dyslexia , for instance, that would mean help with reading , as well as strategies for compensating for that difficulty with reading . For a child whose challenge is focusing on learning, the therapist would help with strategies for getting started, for organizing a project, for remembering information, for practicing skills. Educational therapists recognize that kids who have been falling behind in school are often discouraged and anxious , so their mission is to build a child’s confidence along with her skills.

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How to Get Kids to Do Their Homework and Raise Self-Starters

Homework is one of the best opportunities for kids to practice being self-starters. But how can parents encourage this self-reliance in their kids and avoid fighting over homework?

It had been nearly an hour since my eight-year-old had begun her vocabulary homework. With four pages still to go, she was on the verge of tears and sleepiness as we approached bedtime.

She was overwhelmed and in over her head.

The issue wasn’t an exorbitant amount of homework, but rather that she had left this assignment for the last minute. With a week to complete a unit in her workbook, she hadn’t planned carefully enough, and now was scrambling to get it done the evening before it was due.

This was the first year my oldest had received homework. Wanting to give her a sense of ownership over this responsibility, I had generally let her determine when and how to complete her work .

But as I sat beside her and saw her struggle, I wondered if I had done too little to coach her in time management. Not wanting to become a dreaded helicopter parent, I had probably overcompensated in the opposite direction.

The RIGHT way to get kids to do homework, according to experts

After this experience, I felt a little lost – wondering how much checking in with kids about their homework was too much and how much was too little. Where was the balance?

Searching for answers, I decided to dig into this topic. After identifying three experts in this field, I reached out to them and arranged interviews. Here’s what they told me:

In the early years, actively coach kids on organization and time management

The first thing I learned, not surprisingly, is that my approach to letting my daughter figure out time management on her own was all wrong.

The experts I spoke to pointed out that few young kids have executive functioning skills or the ability to plan ahead when they first begin receiving homework – often in early elementary school. This lack of organizational understanding can be a barrier to getting homework done.

Here’s what they suggest parents do to help their kids develop these skills:

• Set up a specific place for kids to do homework: Betsy Brown Braun , a child development and behavior specialist, believes that kids should have a special place where homework is completed other than the dining room table or kitchen counter. “Kids should have a place of their own – like a desk,” she says. “We want to set them up to respect homework.” This creates a physical place kids associate with doing work, and later with planning for doing work.
• Have a homework routine : Kids benefit from knowing there’s a certain time every day set aside for doing homework, according to Ann Dolin, owner of Educational Connections , a tutoring company in the metropolitan D.C. area. The hour doesn’t have to be the same every day – especially if afterschool activities vary each afternoon. But kids should have a general sense of when homework time takes place. And Braun suggests that parents should involve their children in deciding when this time should be: “Because that shows his responsibility in it,” she says. Knowing there’s a specific time to do homework gets kids in the habit of setting aside time each day to complete their work.
• Ask kids if they need a reminder: Braun suggests asking your child if they want a reminder when the agreed-upon homework time approaches. Ask if they’d like for you to set an alarm or simply tell them when it’s time. By taking ownership of being aware of when it’s time for homework, they’ll start to move towards taking ownership of managing their workload.
• Help kids get started – and then walk away: At this young age, some kids might feel overwhelmed by the idea of simply getting started with their work. Parents can help by making sure their kids understand the directions. But after kids have completed a few problems in an assignment, both Dolin and Braun agree that parents should then walk away and let kids independently complete the work on their own. Completing each assignment independently is, again, a stepping stone towards independently managing the flow of homework assignments.
• Make a rule that homework isn’t considered complete until it’s in your child’s backpack: A good habit to form early on is to make sure homework goes right into kids backpacks as soon as it’s done, Dolin says. This avoids any assignments being turned in late.
• Make sure kids have some downtime: After a long day of school and activities, kids need a bit of downtime before digging into homework. “Most kids need at least a half hour to unwind,” Dolin suggests. This downtime helps kids recharge and increases their ability to focus. Braun also emphasizes that parents need to watch out for overscheduling after-school activities and making sure these don’t supersede homework.

Help kids plan their homework with this weekly homework planner. Click on the link below to access the planner. In addition to receiving the planner, you’ll also be signed up for my weekly-ish newsletter with tips on how to raise independent, self-reliant kids:

Eventually, kids can independently manage homework on their own

Every child is different. But after a year or two of getting help from parents on these intermediary steps towards better time-management, most kids are ready to take on independently the full responsibility of homework management.

But how can parents know if their child is ready? “By asking a lot of questions”, Dolin says.

“How might you organize this? How long are you going to spend on this? Depending on their answers to these questions you can tell if they can be independent,” she says.

Questions about organization and time management also help kids begin problem-solving on their own. And once you’ve seen a consistent pattern of kids having a well-thought-out plan for completing their homework, you can begin to step back and let kids manage their own time.

Ready to teach your child life skills? These cards can help! Each card in this eighty-one deck contains a skill your child can begin practicing with you or on their own. Click here or the image below to learn more.

Ways parents sabotage their kids’ self-reliance with homework

Often without even knowing it, parents get in the way of their kids’ independence with homework and other responsibilities. Here are a few things to avoid in order to raise kids who are homework self-starters:

Don’t focus too heavily on the quality of the work: It’s natural for parents to want their kids to do their best school work. But leave the quality of the work up to the teacher, Dolin says. “I hear of so many fights about the quality of work between parents and students,” she says. “And then kids will start to avoid homework. The goal of homework – especially when kids are younger – is to practice skills and learn independence and responsibility.”

Braun agrees: “I don’t believe that parents should correct their kids’ homework. The quality of the homework is between the child and teacher. How else will the teacher know what the kid needs help on?” She also notes that parents often think they are helping their kids by getting involved in their homework, or not letting them fail. But parents don’t realize the message they’re sending – that their child is not capable or good enough.

Don’t create your own consequences for incomplete homework: Again, let that be between the student and the teacher. If a student doesn’t finish his homework, “he must deal with his teacher,” Dr. Frances Walfish , a family and relationship psychotherapist, says. “Don’t bail him out, criticise, or chastise him,” she continues. Let the teacher decide what the consequence will be and eventually he should begin to realize that it’s easier to get homework done the night before.

If a child declares that she won’t do her homework on a particular evening, parents can state – in a non-threatening way – that they ‘ ll write the child’s teacher and make them aware of her decision, Braun suggests. But she warns that parents still need to be alert to tiredness, an uneasiness about getting started or other reasons why kids might resisting doing their homework – and address those reasons first.

Don’t do homework with your kids :  “Don’t get in the habit of doing homework with your child too much. Parents get in the habit of doing the homework with the child and when it’s time for kids to do their homework on their own they haven’t had the experience of doing it alone,” Braun says. This gets back to the notion of making sure kids understand what they need to accomplish and then walking away to let them work on their own. “A seven or eight-year-old should be able to get his homework done on his own.” she says.

Don’t send the general message that your child isn’t capable: By constantly correcting kids – not letting them try and fail – and doing things for them that they’re capable of doing on their own, we are sending the message to kids that they aren’t capable, Braun says.  But by “working to cultivate self-reliance early on you are putting kids in a position to make them self-starters in everything including homework.”

Coaching while also letting go

After that fateful evening of disappointment and frustration, I changed my tactic in helping my daughter plan her time.

“Let’s sit down and decide when you will have an opportunity to work on your vocabulary homework for this week.” I began to ask her every Monday evening. Play practice was on Thursdays, basketball on Wednesdays. That left Monday and Tuesday as the best evenings for her to work on her assignment.

Writing out the days of the week, we determined on which evening she would have more time to get her work done.

As the weeks progressed, she became more aware of how much time was needed and how long an assignment would take. Sure, there were a few hiccups along the way, but by the end of the year, she was just about ready to tackle homework on her own.

And now that’s she’s in fifth grade, that work has paid off. While every now and then she still discovers she hasn’t allowed enough time to finish a math assignment or didn’t read her book report book quite as quickly as she had hoped, on most weeks her homework is complete – and she gets to bed on time.  

Interested in getting your kids started on chores? My four-lesson course will teach you how to get started, avoid nagging & power struggles, and keep your kids motivated. Click here or the image below to learn more.

See related:

15 Life Skills Kids Need Before They Leave Home

10 Life Lessons Kids Need to Experience Before They Leave Home

How to Raise Responsible Kids – Not Just Obedient Ones

What to do next…

1. subscribe to self-sufficient kids’ email list., 2. take one of my quizzes.

Find out if you’re raising a self-sufficient kid ( click here ) or if you’re doing too much for your kids ( click here ). At the end of each quiz, you’ll be asked to provide your email address to see the results.

3. Get your kids started on chores.

Learn how to get your child started on chores (& keep them motivated + avoid power struggles) by enrolling in my Get Your Kids Successfully Started on Chores course. Click here to learn more and sign up.

About Kerry Flatley

Hi! I’m Kerry, the mother of two girls and a certified parent educator. I believe it is possible for parents to have a supportive, loving, and warm relationship with their kids while raising them to be independent and ultimately self-sufficient. Over the years, I’ve read numerous books and articles that support this belief and I’ve put these ideas into practice with my own kids. Read more about me and Self-Sufficient Kids here.

How To Motivate Child To Do Homework (7 Practical Tips)

Kid is on almost every parent’s mind right now.

Getting kids to do homework is not always painful.

In fact, it can be outright fun!

In this article, I will share the secret on motivating your child to not only do homework but also love homework.

Yes, you read it right.

It is possible to love doing school work.

No yelling, screaming, threatening or crying required.

Table of Contents

Why Do Kids Hate Homework

Let’s start with kindergarteners.

For many children, kindergarten is their first formal experience in school.

Kindergarten has changed a lot over the last decade.

Once a place for socialization and play, kindergartens now emphasize the importance of learning to read, to count, to sit still and to listen to the teachers.

Going from playing all day at home to behaving or sitting still in a structured environment for hours at a time is a tough transition.

To add to that, many kindergartens also assign homework to these little children, further reducing their available play time.

It’s no wonder that some kindergarteners are not motivated to do homework.

Homework Motivation

Remember when your child was still a toddler, he/she would get into anything and everything?

They were curious and they were eager to learn about everything around them.

They were passionate learners .

Children naturally love learning, if we provide the right environment and motivate them appropriately.

Here’s the problem…

When you hear the word “motivate”, what do you think of it?

If you’re thinking about toys, money, iPad time, points, stickers, etc., you’re not alone.

Rewards (and sometimes punishments) are many parents’ go-to motivators.

Parents love them because they work almost instantly.

You present the prize and the child complies to get it. Problem solved.

Simple and effective.

But very soon, you will notice some unintended results.

Here is an example.

Some years ago, after a lecture, Professor Mark Lepper was approached by a couple who told him about a system of rewards they had set up for their son, which had produced much improved behavior at the dinner table. “He sits up straight and eats his peas and the Brussels sprouts and he is really very well behaved,” they reported. Until, that is, the first time the family dined at a nice restaurant. The child looked around, picked up a crystal glass from the table and asked, “How many points not to drop this?” A fine example, says Dr. Lepper, of the detrimental effects of over-reliance on rewards to shape children’s behavior. Mark Lepper: Intrinsic Motivation, Extrinsic Motivation and the Process of Learning By Christine VanDeVelde Luskin, Bing Nursery School at Stanford University

This example is far from rare.

In fact, it is very common when a child is motivated purely by an external reward.

Once the reward is removed, the child will no longer be interested in continuing the behavior.

What’s the right way to motivate children ?

The answer is intrinsic motivation.

Intrinsic motivation for kids refers to engaging in an activity for its pure enjoyment.

This enjoyment comes from within an individual and is a psychological satisfaction derived from performing the task, not from an extrinsic outcome.

In other words, to get your kid to do homework, first help them enjoy doing it .

It is not as crazy as it sounds.

It’s unfortunate that homework is called “work”.

We like to separate work from play.

So naturally, we feel that homework is drudgery.

But it doesn’t have to be.

Homework is a tool for children to learn and get familiar with the knowledge taught in class.

To enjoy homework, the child has to enjoy learning .

How To Motivate a Child To Do Homework

To motivate kids, we first change our mindset, from a working mindset to a learning mindset .

The goal of going to school is not about getting into college, finding a good job, earning a stable income, etc.

Of course, all of those are wonderful, but that’s a working mindset – you’re doing all that work for reasons other than enjoying the learning itself.

Going to school is about learning , acquiring knowledge, exploring new subjects and growing as a person.

In the US, the average expected years of schooling is 16.7 years.

If a child doesn’t like school, that will be 16.7 years of misery.

You don’t want that for your child.

But here’s the good news.

If you can intervene early, like in kindergarten or even before kindergarten, your child will be getting off to a good start.

So, convince yourself to change from the working mindset to the learning mindset.

It sounds abstract, but here are 7 tangible steps for moving toward that goal.

1. Stop referring to kid doing homework as your child’s “job”

When you call it a “job”, you are implying that it will be all work and no fun.

Doing that is setting up a child to feel bad even when it’s not.

2. Don’t tell your child, “you cannot play until you finish your homework”

Again, by putting homework in a category separate from play, you are saying that it cannot be enjoyable.

The importance of play cannot be overstated. So make it count.

Tell your child that they can do both (of course, only healthy physical play like basketball or biking, but not watching iPad).

They can decide the order of doing them as long as they do both by the end of the day.

You’d be surprised – giving a child autonomy over their homework schedule is one of the biggest motivators.

3. Don’t use “no homework” as rewards

I once heard that some teachers would give students with good behavior “no homework tonight” as a reward.

I was horrified.

Homework is for practicing what we’ve learned in school.

It helps us understand and remember better.

It’s not a punishment or torture that you need a “break” to feel better.

Don’t give your child the impression that homework is something you want to get away from.

4. Do not nag, bribe or force

Do not nag and do not force your kid to do homework, whether through rewards or punishment.

“But then, how to make kids do homework?” parents wonder.

Don’t make your child do homework. Period.

Forcing or bribing will only backfire and reduce your child’s intrinsic motivation.

The motivation to do homework needs to come from within the child themselves.

5. Let your child face the natural consequences

“But what to do when my child refuses to do homework?” many frustrated parents ask.

When your child refuses to do school work, let them… after you explain why doing homework is important for learning and what may happen in school if they don’t.

Walk them through the natural consequences for not doing homework – they won’t retain the information well and they will need to accept whatever natural consequences in school.

They will have to explain to the teacher why the homework was not done and they may lose some recess time, etc (but first confirm that the school doesn’t use corporal or other types of cruel punishment).

Wait… What?!

You think I should let my child fail?

Well, not doing homework in lower grades is not the end of your child’s academic career.

Think about this, you cannot force or bribe your child through college.

Help them understand the purpose of learning and doing homework now .

You’re helping them make the right decision by letting them understand and face the natural consequences sooner rather than later.

6. Do homework with your child

Don’t tell your kid that homework is important, show them through your action.

Do the homework with them.

You are telling your child you value this so much that you are willing to take the time to do it together. Besides, parental involvement is associated with better school performance.

7. Make doing homework fun and positive

There are many ways to make homework for kids fun.

Let’s take a look at two methods I’ve used and the results.

You can try them or invent your own.

Method 1: Use doing homework as a “reward” (younger kids like kindergarteners)

Wait, you said that using rewards wasn’t good a moment ago.

Now you say, “use homework as a reward”?

Well, I said rewards were bad because you would be implying the activity you’re trying to motivate your child to do was not as good as the reward.

But here, I am using homework as a reward.

I am signaling to my child that doing homework is so good that she needs to “earn it”.

How to earn it?

You can try different things.

We used “If you behave, you can do homework with me. If you don’t behave, you can’t do homework.”

We started at preschool and it worked very well.

Parents who have tried this report good results in motivating their children to do homework, too.

But some of them have concerns…

Some parents are uncomfortable with this idea because it feels manipulative.

That’s because these parents do not believe in the idea that homework can be fun.

So they feel like they’re lying to the child.

But I genuinely like homework! (Yes, I’m officially a nerd)

So I have no problem helping my child learn to love homework like me.

If you are not convinced yourself, you may not want to try this method.

Or if your child is older and already hates homework, it won’t work.

However, although I don’t agree with using manipulative measures in general, I don’t see this particular one harmful to children even if the parents do not like homework themselves.

Method 2: Turn doing homework into a game and a bonding activity

When my daughter was in preschool, I bought colorful homework books and we did them together.

Sometimes we took turns – she did one problem and I did the next and so on.

Sometimes we raced to see who would finish the page faster.

Sometimes I did them wrong intentionally so that my daughter could point out the wrong answers.

It was actually very empowering and satisfying for her to be able to catch Mom’s mistakes!

We celebrated when we both finished or got the right answers.

It was a lot of fun and my kid enjoyed doing that so much.

By the time she started kindergarten, she already loved homework.

In kindergarten, I couldn’t do her homework because, well, that’s her homework.

So I bought homework books that were similar to the ones she brought from school. Then, I did problems alongside her as she did hers.

We still raced, celebrated, and had fun doing it.

The result?

At the beginning of her kindergarten year, my daughter was given two homework books to take home.

The teacher would assign homework from the books every week.

They were supposed to be used for the entire school year.

But my kindergartener liked doing homework so much that she finished it all in one month!

No yelling, screaming, threatening, or crying is required.

Final Word On Motivating Your Kid To Do Homework

Getting your kid to do homework is only the first step in building a good learning habit.

Finishing homework or getting good grades is not the purpose of going to school.

Instill the love of learning in your child early on and your child will benefit for life.

• 1. Ginsburg KR. The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds. PEDIATRICS . Published online January 1, 2007:182-191. doi:https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2006-2697
• 2. Lepper MR, Greene D. Turning play into work: Effects of adult surveillance and extrinsic rewards on children’s intrinsic motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . Published online 1975:479-486. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/h0076484
• 3. Nye C, Turner H, Schwartz J. Approaches to Parent Involvement for Improving the Academic Performance of Elementary School Age Children. Campbell Systematic Reviews . Published online 2006:1-49. doi:https://doi.org/10.4073/csr.2006.4

Disclaimer: The content of this article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for medical concerns.

AWARD-WINNING BLOG

How do i motivate my child to turn in homework.

Motivation for things like homework can be hard for complex kids. How do you motivate your child to turn in homework?

Does your kid do their homework and then neglect to turn it in? Does that make you frustrated, but your child doesn’t seem to care? Here are some thoughts on helping kids turn in homework. It starts with a question about whether it’s even important to you.

Elaine: All right, so we have a question that we want to read to you from a mom who says, "How do I motivate my inattentive kid to do homework ?" But then she goes on to say, "Personally, I don't believe in homework. My kid spends six hours at school, gets home after 4 p.m., and then faces three to four hours of homework a day, so there's no down time, no time to spend with friends, or even just relax."

Diane: It's hard when our values are questioned –

Elaine: ...or are out of sync with what's expected.

Diane: Part of this is about understanding what your child really wants, and so it may be that your child's in line with you, and says, "I really don't want to do homework either." Or your child might be, "My gosh, I really want to get it done." A lot of our kids are focused on pleasing , and doing really well, and so that's the first thing, is to just check in and make sure you're in the same groove that your child is, on this.

The second piece of it is to know that you really do have choices in the matter, and it doesn't always feel like that, because one of the choices probably feels pretty stinky. But this is taking me back to the decision I made to let my son fail band class in 7th grade. It was a lot of work for him to fill out all those little things that said he practiced, and he actually practiced, but he was failing because he wasn't actually turning in his stuff. So we made the choice. I think that that's part of it, is just reflecting on what choices you do have, and being conscious about that.

Elaine: What I would add to that is bringing your kid into that conversation like we did. My son was in an exam period, and was really struggling with a paper that he didn't like the topic , he didn't like the book, he didn't like anything, and he was really having a hard time. I finally looked at him, and I said, "So what if you don't write it?" And he paused, and processed it, and figured it out, and then he came back and he said, "No, I'd lose two grades, too many grades – It's not worth it." But then when he went to finish the paper, he had a different motivation . It was his decision to do it, instead of just something he had to do, and that made a huge difference.

Bottom Line: At the end of the day, whether our kids do their homework, or choose to turn it in, is about how invested they are, and how reasonable it is. Start by getting clear on the real challenge before you focus on the goal of turning in homework.

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Defiant Children Who Refuse To Do Homework: 30 Tips For Parents

• Your child doesn’t understand the work and needs some extra help. It’s possible that your youngster doesn’t want to do his homework because he really needs help.  Also, it can be challenging for moms and dads to accept that their youngster might need help with homework, because there is often a stigma attached to kids who need tutoring. 
• Your child is addicted to TV and video games. Moms and dads often find it very difficult to limit these activities. But, understand that playing video games and watching TV doesn’t relax a youngster’s brain.  In fact, it actually over-stimulates the brain and makes it harder for him to learn and retain information.  Too much of watching TV and playing video games contributes to your youngster struggling with school and homework in more ways than one.
• Your child is exhausted from a long day at school. In the last 10 to 20 years, the needs of kids have not changed, however the pace of life has.  Most moms and dads are busy and have very little down time, which inevitably means that the youngster ends up with less down time too.  He is going to be less likely to be motivated to work when there is chaos all around him.  
• Your child is not sleeping enough. Sleep is one of the most under-appreciated needs in our society today. When a child doesn’t get enough sleep, it can cause him to be sick more often, lose focus, and have more emotional issues. Kids often need a great deal more sleep than they usually get.  
• Your child is over-booked with other activities. Moms and dads want their youngster to develop skills other than academics. Because of this, they often sign-up their youngster for extracurricular activities (e.g., sports or arts).  
• Your child is overwhelmed by your expectations. Moms and dads want their youngster to be well-rounded and to get ahead in life.  Along with this comes getting good grades.  All these expectations can put a lot of pressure on your youngster and may cause him to become burned-out and want to find an escape.
• instructions are unclear
• neither you nor your youngster can understand the purpose of assignments
• the assignments are often too hard or too easy
• the homework is assigned in uneven amounts
• you can't provide needed supplies or materials 
• you can't seem to help your youngster get organized to finish the assignments
• your youngster has missed school and needs to make up assignments
• your youngster refuses to do her assignments, even though you've tried hard to get her to do them
• Do you understand what you're supposed to do?
• What do you need to do to finish the assignment?
• Do you need help in understanding how to do your work?
• Have you ever done any problems like the ones you're supposed to do right now?
• Do you have everything you need to do the assignment?
• Does your answer make sense to you? 
• Are you still having problems? Maybe it would help to take a break or have a snack.
• Do you need to review your notes (or reread a chapter in your textbook) before you do the assignment? 
• How far have you gotten on the assignment? Let's try to figure out where you're having a problem.

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A Life Skills Blog Exclusively For Parents

9 Simple Tips for Teaching Kids How to Focus on Homework

by Cate Scolnik . (This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here .)

Five minutes into my daughter starting it, she’s asked 4 irrelevant questions and walked across the room twice – for no reason .

She had a break when she first got in from school, and had a snack. Then we agreed to a little outside time before starting homework.

She’s got the book open and a pencil in her hand, but that’s the sum total of her achievement so far.

Her mind doesn’t seem to want to sit still – preferring to bounce all around the place. It’s like her mind is a magnet, and when it’s put near homework, it repels away from it.

When she was 5, I thought she would grow out of it; but at 8 years old I was beginning to worry.

As someone who likes to get in and get things done, it drives me nuts .

Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter dearly. But the way she gets distracted every 5 minutes during homework time is enough to make anyone go crazy.

She’s highly intelligent, has loads of positive energy and is warm and engaging. She can focus long and hard on anything she is interested in. But getting her to focus on homework she isn’t keen on? Damn near impossible.

I just couldn’t sustain parenting positively unless I got this under control. I wanted to take some action.

At one point when her distraction was driving me nuts, I had started to wonder if I should get her tested for attention deficit disorder (ADD). My research on this topic led me to discover some behavioral techniques used with ADD kids, that are also applicable to any child having difficulty focusing.

I decided to try them for teaching my daughter how to focus on homework. Some worked better than others but overall it has been a great success. Here are the ones that worked for us –

#1 Keep It Short

When it came to doing homework, we kept it short and broke it down. Generally, that meant one ten-minute stint a day, instead of one 30-40 minute block each week.

Each time she wandered off task (mentally or physically), I would gently guide her back to the homework.

I kept the focus light and pointed out the fun parts of her work. And I bit down hard on my tongue every time I felt like screaming “If you just stuck to the task and focused you could be done already!”

#2 Use A Timer

So, if I estimated a task could be completed in about 2 minutes, I’d set the timer for 5 minutes. Each time she started chatting about something, I’d say something like “I hope you beat the timer!” or “Don’t forget – you want to beat the timer!”

#3 Wear Them Out

My daughter has loads of physical energy, so I made sure she got lots of exercise . Even now she needs to do lots of running around, or physical activity to wear her out a bit.

I’m not talking about making her run a marathon every day. Just encouraging and supporting her to move her body.

I worked with her natural rhythms as much as possible. I realized she had more energy in the afternoon, so we often went on outings in the morning.

If she’d been to school for the day and we were going to spend a few minutes on homework, I’d encourage her to go and jump her jiggles out on the trampoline before we sat down to focus.

#4 Kept It Positive

I focused on her positive outcomes as much as possible. Whenever she breezed through an activity I would give her positive feedback .

“Look how quickly you finished writing out your words! You stayed focused and you finished that in no time. Well done!”

We’d always start homework early and allow extra time to get things done, so I had to be organized and plan ahead. This meant I could sometimes say, “Wow! You finished your homework the day before it’s due. Great effort!”

If we’d been working on a homework task for a long time and she was just getting less and less focused, I’d call a stop to it. When a five-minute task is only half done after 25 minutes, and there’s no momentum, there really isn’t any point continuing.

This is a tricky one, and I didn’t use it often. She’s a bright girl and she knew she hadn’t finished what she set out to do that day. But if we kept trying and getting nowhere, we would both become very frustrated and dejected – no good ever comes out of that.

So, I’d suggest we leave it for now and come back to the task when we were fresher. This way she wasn’t failing, it just wasn’t the right time.

#6 Eat More Fish

Crazy as it might sound, eating more fish or taking fish oil supplements , is apparently helpful.

Now, I’m not a nutritionist and I understand that the fish oil theory is unproven. But there seems to be research to support the fact that fish oil high in EPA (rather than DHA) can help improve focus.

I figured it was something that couldn’t hurt, so I did it. It seemed to me that each time her fish oil consumption dipped, she became less focused.

I’ve no real evidence to support that – it may just be in my head. 😉

#7 Encourage Self-Management

The Tools of the Mind program produces brighter children who are classified as gifted more often, but more importantly, it also produces kids with better behavior, greater focus and control.

Classes involve role play and each child creates their own detailed plan of their part. If a child gets off track, the teacher refers them back to their plan.

One of the ways the program helps is through encouraging planning and time management by setting weekly goals. This helps to wire up the part of the brain responsible for maintaining concentration and setting goals.

The Tools of the Mind philosophy is that every child can become a successful learner, with the right support. Children learn by using the skills they currently have – such as drawing and play. They think through their play plan, then draw a detailed record of it, then carry it out.

Using their skills in this way teaches children to set achievable goals, work out how to reach them, and stay on track. They learn they can be responsible for their own outcomes. We’ve been using this to teach my daughter self-management .

#8 Work Together

My daughter is nearly eleven now and has matured a lot over the last year. And I’ve just started using self-management techniques to help her set goals and plan how she’ll achieve them.

Earlier this year she said she really wanted to improve her grades, which I said was a great goal. Then she said she wanted to be involved in band, which means taking some band lessons in class time.

I asked her to plan how she intended to achieve both goals, given she has other extra-curricular activities she wants to keep up.

She created a plan to practice her instrument regularly and do more homework than she has previously. We’re at week 7 of our school year here in Australia, and so far she’s on track.

She dives into homework without being reminded and gets it done early. She’s also completing homework tasks to a higher standard, rather than madly (and messily) rushing through them .

Since starting band she’s been practicing twice a day, every day – without being asked. I know that if she loses momentum, or strays off track, I can direct her back to her own plan.

#9 Understand The Scale

We all have different strengths and weaknesses. And attention and focus can vary wildly, particularly in the early years.

It partly depends on the environment, and partly the child.

Try and take the pressure off, and work with your child’s strengths.

Break tasks down and keep them fun.

Aim for a balance between physical and mental focus, and remember it’s OK to give up if the timing isn’t right.

Have realistic expectations, and know that your child’s focus will improve with age.

Don’t be scared to quit when things really are not working. Not doing a perfect job on the homework once in a while is not the end of the world. If it comes to a choice between quitting for the moment or screaming and yelling at your kids through the task, choose love and call it quits.

And finally, hang in there. It’s all going to be OK.

The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents

Take a moment to consider your child’s behavior.

• How does it compare to other children? Either their siblings or a number of other kids of a similar age? (Try to compare them with a range of other kids – rather than one or two)
• Does your child seem to have age-appropriate behavior and focus? If you’re concerned, do you need to seek help?
• How can you start breaking down big tasks into manageable (snack-sized) sections?
• Is your child able to focus on things they like doing? Can you use that in your favor?
• Are your kids distracted by things that could be controlled?
• What strategies can you put in place to keep your kids focus?

The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents

• Brainstorm some roles that you can use to elicit certain behavior. If you need your child to be quiet and still for a few minutes, what can they pretend to be? A King or Queen on a throne? A soldier on guard? Good posture during homework is a good idea, but if the only way to get your child to do it without a fuss is to let them pretend to sit on a throne or stand at attention, go for it!
• Think back over the things that your child struggles to focus on. How can you get them to use self-management techniques to improve?
• If it seems impossible to get your child to focus and pay attention ask yourself this: “If it were possible, how would it be achieved?” Make some notes.
• Take a moment to check out why Tools of the Mind works so well and think about how you might use their strategies at home.

About Cate Scolnik

Cate is on a mission to help parents stop yelling and create families that listen to each other. She does this while imperfectly parenting two boisterous girls of her own and learning from her mistakes. Download her free Cheat Sheet to Get Your Kids from "No" to "Yes" in Three Simple Steps and reduce your yelling today.

May 16, 2016 at 6:21 am

This is a great article and there is some mention of it but I feel it has to be emphasized- that no homework should ever trump connection with your child. If homework struggles are causing you to butt heads time to re-think! Your child needs you in their side ALWAYS, there have long difficult days in School where social interactions and the system challenge their resources all day long. The need to come home to an ally. Here in Canada we are seeing tons of research that shows that homework before high school produces little increase in assessment scores – I imagine education philosophy will move toward reducing or almost eliminating primary homework! So don’t sacrifice your living connected relationship at home iver homework

May 16, 2016 at 2:35 pm

Totally agree with you on the point that “no homework should ever trump connection with your child”, Kim.

I’ve read some of the research about homework, but I’m not entirely convinced. To me, even if homework does little to increase assessment scores, it builds the habit and discipline of getting things done on your own outside the classroom… So IMO there is some merit to it. The question for me is more of how to teach our kids to focus and build this habit in a kind and gentle manner without butting heads…

May 16, 2016 at 11:29 pm

You’re right that we shouldn’t let homework damage relationships. I’m fortunate that our school has homework as an optional thing, but we do opt in. Like Sumitha, I think it’s more about getting a routine established.

Thanks for your comment. 😉

May 10, 2017 at 3:50 pm

Agree with #Cate. I asked school to increase the home work for my daughter to help her develop the habit of focus, responsibility, self – discipline and also prepare them for high school where they should not get shocked with the name of home work thinking it as a monster.

Apart from this, these tips are life saving and work word by word. Thank you so much for sharing and I liked these so much that I shared the page with my facebook friends.

May 16, 2016 at 1:35 pm

My child’s PRE-SCHOOL had homework. It was age-appropriate (“Color the baby chicks yellow”) but surprise, surprise–my daughter didn’t want to do it. She wanted to run around the playground and then jump on the sofa. I mentioned this to another parent (of a typically developing child) and she said, “Oh, we don’t do the homework. It’s not developmentally appropriate at this age.” Boy, did my life improve when I followed her advice and ignored the homework! I told the school, nicely, that I got home from work too late in the evening to do homework. And that was the end of it! Now, in elementary school, we don’t do the homework every night. It is BORING (math worksheets) and turns her off to everything related to school!

May 16, 2016 at 2:42 pm

Wendy, homework in preschool is probably pushing it too much… but as kids grow older, I do believe there is some merit to homework in terms of building habits and discipline of doing things on your own outside the classroom and being accountable for something that is assigned to you.

I personally feel that telling kids you don’t have to do something because it is boring sends the wrong message (listening to any grownup is boring for a kid… so if they can skip doing homework because it is boring, why not also skip listening to what grownups tell them?) To me, building the habits of accountability and sticking to a task even if it is sometimes boring and learning tricks to focus even when you sometimes don’t want to are important life skills… Homework is one of the ways to do this, and I would rather look for kind and gentle ways to do this than give up on homework entirely.

June 29, 2024 at 8:25 pm

I teach at a local nursery in order to have something to do. In addition I give them two tasks each week. For example a upcoming task will involve pumpkins. They recently as a entire preschool class painted a picture of a sunflower. They are little so I do the research for them instead. In the past we have focused on music, gardening and cooking. Best wishes. Planning a October visit to a pumpkin patch.

We also once did baking. From time to time we study animals and learn about other people. If it is hot we either do gardening or ride child friendly bikes. Recently we have gone on picnics and tried tennis. Each task has a theme. Drawing is fun.

Considering a museum trip and so on. In terms of future tasks, I’m planning one that is wholly based on Halloween. I’ve also got a idea for Christmas. Other activities include pond dipping and farm outings. Yet more such fun activities in consideration will involve poster design and card making. I’m keen on easy sports like table tennis. I believe that they have a sports day. Have a nice day.

Last week I decided on a whim to try sand art and water play. I also want to teach them to cook. Two weeks before we rode bikes and assisted in the garden at the nursery. Once or twice a day we do singing and reading in question. I’m also keen on classic board games and stencilling. I want to try out new activities like pottery and face painting. We do a lot of reading. I love origami.

Bingo wouldn’t fail either. They have never played simple games like Monopoly Deal or Scrabble. Additionally I love the idea of introducing them to other classic games. We have previously tried creative writing and poetry. I really do like to focus on basic skill development as far as possible. This includes story telling and independence building. For example making friends and being healthy.

Snap is cool. So is making fresh lemonade and the like. I’ve never tried either activity. I love to play UNO. Coding is hard work. One day in the near future I’m organising a class trip to a library and a zoo. In the past I’ve shown them how to use a shape sorter toy and puppets. We use the puppets to tell a simple story. And we have a sensory room.

May 16, 2016 at 7:49 pm

I don’t believe in most homework and glad it’s not generally a part of Montessori. At my kids’ school they don’t start handing out homework until 4th grade, and even then it’s a packet they have all week to complete so they can choose their own pace for finishing it. I like that no homework leaves time for other things like piano and violin and volleyball and Latin, not to mention the chance for my kids to help me cook, etc. When my oldest got to the adolescent program and we started to struggle with homework, we realized in her case the best approach was to back off and leave her to fail or succeed on her own. I think for many children there is much more value in unstructured time to play and explore. They have to be disciplined at school all day. I don’t see why they have to extend that into home time. I love watching my kids come up with their own projects which are often far more interesting than anything a teacher would send home as an assignment. Most homework is busy work. Life is too short for that.

May 16, 2016 at 9:20 pm

If the homework was long and unending, I would likely agree with you (at least to a certain extent ;)), Korinthia. Fortunately, my daughter’s home work assignments usually take just 10 – 15 minutes which she actually finishes up in school. It is busy work, but it reinforces the facts that she has learnt that day in school. Her teacher’s take is that it helps her gauge if the kids are grasping what they learn, and lets her know if she should repeat any concepts or slow down the pace etc. I love that idea of using homework (and tests) as a feedback loop. Her school also specifically tells parent not to get involved unless the child asks for clarifications. This also helps the homework serve as a mini-token of responsibility and self-management… which is all good in my book.

I love how every time this discussion comes up, we come at it from such opposite perspectives 🙂

May 16, 2016 at 10:14 pm

I think one of the trickiest things in parenting is realizing people can do the opposite of what you do and still not be wrong. We’re all so vulnerable in this area that people get defensive fast! I love that you are so thoughtful with every response, and that there is more than one way to be right. And I keep coming back here because I feel it’s a safe place to voice a different perspective without people taking it as a challenge to their own parenting decisions. That’s a rare and wonderful thing and you should be proud of this site. (For that and many reasons!)

May 16, 2016 at 10:23 pm

Thanks, Korinthia. I needed to hear that today (for a reason unrelated to this site and the comments here). And of course I lapped up the compliments about the site too. I never tire of that 🙂

And you stretch my thinking more than anyone I know and I learnt a lot about writing responses from studying your responses… so thanks right back at ya!

May 16, 2016 at 11:35 pm

Hi Korintha,

You’re right that we can use homework as a valuable learning experience. For years my older daughter (now 11) has ‘hoped’ for straight As, but hasn’t achieved them. She’s getting better for years she did the bare minimum with homework, and did it rather … messily too! While I don’t push her too much, I do make the point that A grades are the result of hard work. They’re achievable for anyone who puts in the effort – including her. But getting As means you’ve done the best you possible can, almost all the time.

It doesn’t stop her hoping every time her report comes home, but she knows she can set goals and strive to meet them (they’re just usually in non-academic areas!).

Anyway, your point about homework being a mutli-faceted learning opportunity is a great one. 😉

May 17, 2016 at 7:27 am

Grades are a weird measure of things, though, because they aren’t universal. Does getting an A mean it’s the best you as an individual can do, even if it’s not great? Does getting an A mean there is some objective level of excellence that few people can reach? Does getting an A mean the grade was on a curve and you are simply the best in this particular crowd? A’s on a single report card can mean all of those things or none of them.

I remember in college I was upset one semester because my perfect 4.0 was marred by a B in tennis which I was simply taking for fun. I felt I should get an A for showing up and doing my best every time. Apparently the teacher had a different measure. And how do you grade music (which was my major)? One person can play every note perfectly and leave you feeling cold with their performance, and another can make mistakes but be electrifying. In orchestra it was pure participation–you started with an A and every class you missed you went down one letter grade. The A says nothing about if you did well or even improved. (You could get worse and still get an A.) When I was in 6th grade I used to alternate between A’s and failing grades in reading based on if I handed in the book reports. Those grades said nothing about my reading ability.

Grades do say something, but I’m skeptical about what. And every time I get worried about grades I remember my grandma telling me that nobody ever asked her her GPA once she graduated. No one has ever asked me mine, either. People only care what I can actually do, and that I try to prove every day, and that’s what I tell my kids to aim for. They may or may not get the grades they deserve to reflect that, but they need to mentally grade themselves to stay honest.

May 20, 2016 at 8:19 pm

Your points are spot on, as always. Grades are an arbitrary measure.

I think it’s far more important that my daughter is satisfied that she’s done her best, and that she’s proud of her efforts. Having said that, I do think it’s useful to learn that you can set goals and strive towards them.

Arbitrary or not, we spend most of our lives being assessed. Either at school or university or in the workplace. It’s usually one person’s opinion of certain traits or activities, and it’s often arbitrary.

Whilst I’ve certainly been the victim of a manager who’s had their own agenda – and rated me accordingly – I think that’s the exception. I also think it’s important that my kids feel that they have some control over the assessment. If they put in greater time and effort, they will usually get greater results.

It’s important to know that grades and assessments are only one person’s opinion and that they may be flawed. That is, we need to keep it in perspective. But given we’ll have these assessments throughout our lives, we need to learn to feel we have some control over them and we need to learn how to handle them. How to digest them, how to cope with them, and how to use them too.

It’s a complicated, complex, multi-faceted issue! And I certainly appreciate your perspective. Thanks for commenting 😉

June 29, 2024 at 8:44 pm

I played table tennis once a week in order to keep fit. I also had to assist with the gardening and cooking. At only five years old I had to learn five new simple numbers and words each week. At Christmas we went to a local church. There were many family beach picnics. Best wishes. My parents loved to recite four line poems each night at bedtime.

As a entire family we played table tennis early on a Saturday afternoon once a week. I was expected to know first aid and learn how to fix a broken down car. Once a year we grew a pumpkin at home. On the warm beach we sang and read storybooks. And we went on Sunday nature walks. I even did the food shop and mastered the rather basic one times table in addition. I learnt how to cook, prepare a hot cocoa plus make the beds.

On a weekly trip to a farm shop at a nearby garden centre I had to count up or down in fives. I had a short numbered list of things to buy. I had to teach myself to play the guitar and how to use a camera. That was fun.

At home I washed the car and babysat at church. Other activities and skills included washing up and making bookmarks. On family days out we soaked up the sun on a cycling trip or a walk. We did woodland walks. I learned how to prepare a entire tray of scones and tasty biscuits. I also discovered how to make cakes and identify the trees and flowers.

May 17, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Thanks for this article! We are in our last week of kindergarten homework before the summer hits. That first sentence! So funny and spot on. Like “where are you going sit back down!” I find my self saying frequently. My son gets a packet of homework on Monday that he has to complete and turn in by Friday. I like the idea of using the timer! I’m not sure about play before homework.. I see the need for a break. My issue is that after eating and a play break its already so late then he’s not focused because he’s just getting tired. Also other than getting a 5 year old to focus on homework is doing the homework correctly. He will speed through it sometimes brag about how many pages he completed but he sometimes just writes down whatever to make it look like its complete! This has been driving me crazy, I have to erase so much! I’m trying to find the balance between getting him to work independently and me sitting there for every question. They do homework time in after school too and this is also when he makes it look like he’s doing homework and sometimes just draws pictures on the back of his homework pages. I think the amount of homework for kindergarten is a bit much, but I don’t think that not doing it is an option. I want to encourage him and be proud of him for completing his homework and also try to only let him play on the tablet after the whole packet is done… which also kinda leads to him speeding through it. Ugh and this is just year ONE! OMG!

May 18, 2016 at 3:57 am

Hi Amber, You’re right – you need to find what works for you. And if your kids are in after school care, it’s a bit too late to get them to concentrate when you get home. When I get my kids home it’s nearly 6pm, and there’s no way I can get them to focus on homework.

I’m lucky that I have two days a week where I don’t work late, so they are our ‘homework days’. The other option for us is to do a few minutes in the morning, before school, when the girls are fresh. Of course, this depends on what mornings look like in your house.

You say you want to be proud of him, but it’s also important that he’s proud of himself. That’s why I often ask my girls if they’re proud of their homework. It’s a great technique to get them to reflect on their efforts. 🙂

January 23, 2018 at 9:41 pm

Thanks for the tips for getting kids to do homework better. My son struggles with math, and he never wants to do his homework. I really like your idea to set a timer. That way, he knows exactly how long he needs to work before he can take a break to play. We will definitely give this a try.

April 7, 2018 at 9:49 am

Yes!! I totally agree with Korinthia! I have 5 kids from high school to a 2 yr. Old and it frustrates us as a family when we cannot take a walk, go out and play, or do any sports or extracurricular activity or even help with dinner because they have so much homework! How can kids get their 60 min. Of physical activity or eat healthier or spend time with family if we barely have time to eat a rushed meal to do homework? Including on weekends and vacation!

July 16, 2018 at 6:07 am

Homework is one word that makes every school child – and many parents – cringe. Follow these handy tips, and soon, homework related tension will become a thing of the past. https://www.parentcircle.com/article/exclusive-tips-to-make-homework-easy-for-your-child/

August 8, 2018 at 3:21 am

Awesome post!!! Homework is very important for students to get great results in academic. It is also essential to complete your homework on time. Thanks for sharing this information.

September 4, 2018 at 12:25 am

Good tips and very informative. Homework is a very important thing to get good grades n academic. Today, Focus on Homework is very essential. So, Students must do homework on time.

June 24, 2019 at 6:52 pm

October 15, 2019 at 7:55 am

It’s really useful tips for many parents and their kids. I think that right focus on homework is an important part to stay productive for a whole year in school.

January 7, 2020 at 11:13 am

Learning to focus is extremely important especially with the distractions that surrounds us in today’s world. Your article has been tremendously helpful and I am grateful so Thank you for sharing .

September 30, 2020 at 5:13 am

Nice!! I agree with the fine parent/this website.I tried all of them and almost all of them worked.Keep it up.👍👌👋

January 14, 2022 at 6:55 am

Nice tips, I’ll be sure to remember them. So I can try them out when I become a parent. Or I could just tell some parents around me.

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Dear ADDitude: Homework Takes Hours Every Night

“an hour worth of homework takes my son twice that long, even after taking an afternoon dose of adhd medication, and it’s complete torture. how can i put an end to his daily arguments and help him get through school work faster”.

ADDitude Answers

There are a few reasons that kids end up spending hours on homework: a difficulty getting and staying focused , defying mom and dad, or too much homework (for them).

The kids that have trouble staying focused are often fidgeters, who need tactile stimulation to tune in and calm down. When we tell them to, “Stop doing that!”, or take away whatever they are playing with, they often become what I call Superbowl Kids. It’s on for three hours, but the players are only really doing anything for about an hour. To help move things along, give kids a fidget toy, like a Tangle Junior or a stress ball. Often kids will hold it in their non-writing hand, and it helps them pay attention to homework.

Sometimes kids resist doing homework just to be difficult because parents nag them. In this case, you can ask kids, “How many reminders do you think you need?” Often kids will say, “Well, just two.” Then as parents, it’s our job to stick two. So we might just keep an eye out for when we see them drifting off, then say, “Okay don’t forget you’re on number five on your math.” It takes the nagging out of the equation.

Setting a stop time is really important. You might say to your child, “You’ve been working on this math assignment for 45 minutes. It’s 4:15. It needs to be done by 4:45 and then at that point, it’s time to put it away. I’ll give you two reminders like we discussed.” Be structured in that stop time and make sure your child is ending then. Kids really, really hate to go to school without their work done. It helps them to manage their time a little bit better to know homework is not endless.

Work with the school, and let teachers know if your child may come in with an incomplete assignment. They need to know why. If your child has an IEP or 504 Plan, make sure you add an accommodation for homework. If you don’t have formal accommodations, I found that teachers are often willing to give accommodations once you let them know what’s happening in a very non-judgmental way.

[ Free Download: Homework Ideas That Work ]

I like using the words “I’ve noticed” because you don’t want to ask for help by saying, “Jimmy has way too much homework. This is ridiculous. I thought in fourth grade he should be getting 40 minutes but he’s doing two hours of homework.” It’s never going to go well. But if you say, “I noticed that Jimmy is having about two hours of homework every night and I don’t think that that’s what you’re assigning. I’m wondering if we could come up with a way to reduce the amount he’s getting.” It may be that depending on the grade he studies 15 words instead of 20, that you can type a final copy, or that he just does the odd questions on a math sheet.

It’s much harder to do that in high school if your child is taking any advanced classes because, really, kids do need to turn in most of the work. But when they’re younger, elementary and middle school, I found that teachers are very willing to make accommodations if they’re approached in the right way.

Posted by Ann Dolin, M.Ed. Founder of Educational Connections, and author of Homework Made Simple

Homework is a huge struggle for almost every family with a child with ADHD. Talk with his teachers about homework. When my son was that age, I asked the teachers how long they expected their students to spend on homework each night. Then, we reduced the volume of work he had to complete to fit within that time, no more. When kids with ADHD have to spend more time on homework than their peers, it’s punishing them for having a disability. No one wants that.

[ Free ADHD Resource: Solve Your Child’s Homework Problems ]

Here are some strategies for homework time: End the ADHD Homework Wars

Posted by Penny ADDitude community moderator, author on ADHD parenting, mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

A Reader Answers

You should add an incentive for completing homework. For example, video game time or receiving a portion of a weekly allowance after each homework assignment is finished. Also a timer usually helps.

Yes, homework should be done, but with students with ADHD or other disabilities it is a struggle for them especially if they find it difficult or boring. Compromising with your child , and finding creative ways to motivate him will make homework less stressful for everyone. Discuss your child’s struggles with teachers and other support staff.

Posted by Anthony18Mommy

Talk to the teachers about reducing or eliminating homework. My daughter’s 4th grade teacher agreed to reduce work to only 20 minutes an evening (even if that meant that only one problem was completed). The goal was to do the work until she got it and then stop, but we didn’t always get that far. Before this, homework took us 3+ hours in the afternoon/evenings!

In subsequent years, I met with teachers at the beginning of the school year, and explained this was our system. They were ok with it. One told me she was glad. She only gave homework because she was required to, but she didn’t think there should be any or very, very little.

Take this as a challenge to learn how to be a more relaxed parent. (I was a high functioning project manager focused on efficiencies and speed…parenting couldn’t be more opposite!) Decide to only pick two battles a day or less. Let the rest of your arguments go. Unless it’s life threatening, being unkind, or something of similar importance, just let it go.

This can have interesting effect. Not only do you feel better, but you are likely to see your child start to be less oppositional within a week.

Posted by Lilies&Orchids

I would see if there is a supported study center at school where a teacher can check on your son’s work. Another idea is finding a student you can pay to stay after school and work on homework with him. My son does his best work during the school day. When he comes home, there is a lot of procrastination.

Definitely consider a 504 or IEP – this can reduce the workload to make it more manageable. A supported study center can be one of your accommodations.

I’m currently looking for a student mentor for my son.

Above all, be understanding. As difficult as this is for you, it’s even more difficult for him.

Posted by Momto2Cuties

You’re intuition is sound. A screaming match every night is unpleasant for all and is only useful to get stuff done for school, not really for him- and certainly not for you. This approach treats the school work as though it is very important, not as important as the child’s happiness.

Somehow I think you can enlist the aid of the school here. Maybe they would even allow him to do most of his school work in the school day. In the meantime, I would ease into a process of negotiating with your son. Before you become very frustrated simply draft a note to his teacher to let her know that there was too much homework or he couldn’t focus on it. Just three sentences. This shows all that you are engaged and that can matter later if you seek accommodations.

One other thing you might like to try is to some short recreational activity first, preferably something active, and not video game related. Then, clear a space for homework. That will set a lighter tone to the evening.

Instead of being a policeman during homework time, you could be the accountability secretary. Just make a few notes on what went on. Let him see the notes. Let him know that he is responsible, but you just want to keep a record. You’re not angry, you’re just keeping track. This has an oddly sobering effect on improving accountability. This is not an ideal solution but, even for a week or two, it will allow the policeman to stand down and will serve as a transition until you can read up on Ross Greene or find other ways to help with homework.

Good for you to have the heart and wisdom to question and seek ways that you can change to help your son.

Posted by John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach

Hang in there! I always ask my son if he needs help on homework nights. He always says “No,” but if I’m in the immediate area where he’s trying to finish an assignment, he may see me folding clothes, or doing the dishes, and ask me a question or two, just to get started.

Your son sounds like my son used to, in that he is has trouble getting going. Maybe you can sit at the kitchen table reading the paper while he’s also sitting at the kitchen table trying to finish a worksheet.

Don’t help unless he asks for it. I do notice a difference in my son’s ability to get started, then to follow through, if I’m in the immediate area. Funny, yes, but it works!

You don’t mention a school IEP or 504 plan. Have you heard of these? I encourage you to contact your school district and find out about them, and what free resources are available for your son. Often schools won’t offer help unless you ask.

Structure, structure, structure. Adding routines to your son’s typical before-and-after school day will help him know what upcoming tasks are due, and make him feel responsible for trying to find strategies that work for him.

As our kids mature, they feel out of control with their ADHD. Try to find little ways to incorporate your son’s ideas into successful routines. Positive feedback from teachers will also help make the kids want to finish homework in a more timely manner. Good Luck, and take care of yourself, too!

Posted by WhoAreYou4

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Busy Parents Guide: Homework Made Easy

Aug 30, 2024 | Uncategorized

Life as a busy parent can feel like a constant juggling act. Between work, household responsibilities, and family time, finding the energy and focus to help your child with homework can seem nearly impossible. However, supporting your child’s education doesn’t have to be a stressful experience. With a few simple strategies and the right resources, you can make homework time smoother and more manageable for both you and your child.

Every parent wants to see their child succeed, but it’s not always easy to provide the academic help they need, especially after a long day. Whether it’s math that makes you sweat or essays that have you stumped, the idea of sitting down to do homework can be daunting. Fortunately, there are plenty of tools and services available to lighten the load, allowing you to support your child’s learning without feeling overwhelmed!

In this guide, we’ll explore some practical tips and resources that can make homework easier for your family. From setting up a productive homework environment to utilizing helpful tools like Studyfy, which offers assignment assistance, you’ll find ways to make the homework process less stressful and more effective. And if you’re ever feeling truly stuck, you might consider a “ Do my homework service ” to give you and your child that extra bit of support when it’s needed most.

Creating a Productive Homework Environment

The environment in which your child does their homework plays a significant role in their ability to focus and succeed. A cluttered or noisy space can be distracting, making it harder for them to concentrate on their assignments. Here are some tips to create an ideal homework setup:

Choose a Quiet Space : Find a spot in your home that’s free from distractions. This could be a quiet corner in the living room, a small desk in their bedroom, or even the kitchen table if that’s where they feel most comfortable. The key is to minimize interruptions so they can focus on their work.

Organize Supplies : Ensure that all the necessary supplies—pens, pencils, paper, calculators—are within reach. This reduces the chances of your child wandering off to find something and getting distracted in the process. Consider using a small basket or container to keep everything organized and in one place.

Set a Routine : Establish a consistent homework routine. Whether it’s right after school or after dinner, having a set time for homework can help create a habit and reduce procrastination. Consistency is key to making homework a regular part of their day without it feeling like a chore.

Breaking Down Assignments into Manageable Tasks

One of the main reasons homework can feel overwhelming for both parents and children is the sheer volume of assignments. Tackling a big project or a long list of tasks can be intimidating, but breaking them down into smaller, more manageable pieces can make the process much easier.

Prioritize Tasks : Start by helping your child prioritize their assignments. What’s due first? What’s the most challenging? By focusing on the most important or difficult tasks first, you can help them get the hardest parts out of the way while their energy and focus are still high.

Set Small Goals : Encourage your child to set small, achievable goals for each homework session. For example, they might aim to complete five math problems before taking a short break. This not only makes the workload seem less daunting but also gives them a sense of accomplishment as they check off each task.

Take Breaks : Long homework sessions can lead to burnout and frustration. Encourage your child to take short breaks between assignments. A quick walk, a snack, or even a few minutes of play can refresh their mind and make it easier to return to work with renewed focus.

When to Seek Extra Help

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your child may struggle with certain subjects or assignments. This is completely normal, and recognizing when to seek additional help is crucial in preventing frustration and burnout. There’s no shame in reaching out for assistance, whether it’s from a teacher, a tutor, or an online service.

Tutoring Services : If your child consistently struggles with a particular subject, it might be worth considering a tutor. Tutors can provide personalized instruction that’s tailored to your child’s learning style, helping them grasp difficult concepts and build confidence in their abilities.

Online Resources : There are countless online resources available that can provide help with homework. Websites like Studyfy offer assignment assistance and tutorials that can explain concepts in a way that’s easy for your child to understand.

Additionally, Studyfy’s do my homework service can be a lifesaver during particularly busy times, ensuring that your child gets the help they need, even when you’re swamped.

Encouraging Independence and Responsibility

As your child grows, it’s important to encourage independence and responsibility when it comes to their homework. While it’s essential to offer support and guidance, fostering a sense of ownership over their assignments can help them develop important life skills.

Teach Time Management : Help your child learn how to manage their time effectively by teaching them to plan their homework sessions. Use tools like planners or digital calendars to track assignments and deadlines, helping them learn how to prioritize and manage their workload independently.

Encourage Problem-Solving : Instead of providing immediate answers when your child is stuck, encourage them to think critically and try to solve the problem on their own first. This not only helps them develop problem-solving skills but also boosts their confidence when they find the solution themselves.

Final Thoughts

Balancing the demands of parenthood with the need to support your child’s education can be challenging, but with the right approach, homework doesn’t have to be a source of stress. By creating a productive environment, breaking down assignments, knowing when to seek extra help, and encouraging independence, you can help make homework time more manageable and even enjoyable.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Resources like Studyfy are there to support you and your child every step of the way, whether it’s through assignment help or a do my homework service that provides the extra boost you need.

With these tools and strategies in your toolkit, you can turn homework time from a dreaded task into a productive and rewarding experience for the whole family!

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Home » Topics » Homework Strategies for Children on the Autism Spectrum

Homework Strategies for Children on the Autism Spectrum

Article at a Glance

• Keep homework sessions predictable and realistic.
• Learn your child’s strengths and find ways to leverage those strengths when studying.
• Communicate with teachers and find what resources may be available to you at home.

Having a child with autism can be challenging on many fronts, especially when it comes to homework. As a mom of a thirteen-year-old son with autism, I’ve definitely had my own struggles and challenges over the years. Often, we have to consider my son’s learning disabilities, attention issues, anxiety, and sensory processing issues (all come as part of his autism diagnosis) in our homework routine. Here are some strategies we’ve used to help our son’s homework time become less of a battle and more of an engaging learning experience.

1. Make a “to-do” list:

My son, as with most kids with autism, loves routine and predictability. Before we sit down to do homework, I come up with a list of tasks that I think my son can tackle in one sitting. Depending on the day (and his mood), it may be one thing, three things, or five things. I try to keep study sessions short so he can feel successful. When he completes a task, I reward him with a small break (trampoline time or a game of Scrabble) or reinforcement like a good behavior star or small candy like a jelly bean or Jolly Rancher. These are the things that motivate him. Every kid is different; just find and use whatever motivates your child!

2. Consider sensory needs and learning strengths

Our son struggles greatly with visual-spatial processing and fine motor skills. He has great memorization skills and has often excelled at things such as math facts, but as he’s gotten older his math assignments require working out problems on paper. He often has a hard time keeping numbers in their place and organized on a traditional sheet of paper. Because he needed more space to work and has a hard time visually planning where things go on the page, I made some modified paper with larger lines with grey/white contrast between the lines. I’m always on the lookout for adapted resources (often a google search or Pinterest search will have lots of good resources), but sometimes I have to get creative and find something that works best for my son.

Because I know my son’s strengths often come in the form of memorization and visualization, I try to come up with ways to incorporate those study methods whenever I can. Understanding characters and their motives in a story can be hard for my son, so I decided to make “flashcards” of characters, listing things they’ve said and things they want or do with a picture of the character to go along with the traits. These “flashcards” really helped my son visualize and “see” the story a little better.

3. Find “homework” spots:

I grew up in a house where my parents designated a room in the house as the “study zone.” I had my own desk and desk lamp, with drawers full of pencils, pens, white-out, markers, calculators, and whatever supplies I needed. My parents thought I would study and do my homework better if I stayed in one place so I could really focus and get my work done. Despite their good intentions, I found it very hard to stay in the “study zone.” I was stuck behind a desk all day at school. The last place I wanted to be was stuck behind a desk at home. I wanted a change of scenery.

I’ve found that my son needs to rotate around the house when we do homework. We have four locations where he can choose to work: the desk in his room, the kitchen table, the couch, and the coffee table in the family room. Depending on his mood, how independent he can be, and what I need to do, we rotate through these locations. Sometimes, it’s easier for me to quiz him on vocabulary in the kitchen while making dinner. Sometimes, when we read a book for Language Arts, he wants to sit on the couch. Sometimes, he would rather do his math at the desk in his bedroom, and sometimes he wants to do it sitting at the coffee table in the family room. Giving him these options gives him a little more control over his environment, and I feel that it makes him a little more cooperative too when we have to really buckle down and work at something.

5. Tag team:

Sometimes I’ve had a long day, sometimes my son’s had a long day, and sometimes there are days when neither of us wants to interact with each other, let alone slug through homework together. These are the times when I tag team with my husband and he helps with the math or science homework, or I have my daughter take 10 minutes and quiz her brother on the latest list of Spanish words. Switching up with a partner helps avoid parent burnout too. I know when I get frustrated with the whole homework process, my son really picks up on that.

6. Plan ahead and communicate with teachers:

A lot of student daily planner scheduling is now online so you can see (and plan ahead) for any upcoming tests. About an hour before my kids come home, I log into PowerSchool (the online program my kids’ school uses) and I see what homework is coming home that day and how many days we have until a project or quiz is due. That way I can prepare the evening (the “to-do” list, any modifications, homework spots, or tag team assignments) before the backpacks drop at the front door and the afterschool snack starts.

Teachers are often willing to send home extra resources, books, and practice sheets if they know you are trying to reinforce and supplement at home. I have asked for home copies of novels read in Language Arts (so we can read ahead a chapter or two), extra math worksheets (to practice a concept that’s been difficult—integers was our struggle for a while), and flashcards (it’s really nice not to have to make your own set of Spanish flashcards when someone’s already made some for you). We’ve even had erasable human body diagrams sent home for extra practice.

Having a child with special needs can be challenging, but with the right tools and resources in place, I’ve found the homework battle a little easier. Sometimes it can require a little thinking outside of the box. It can be hard work, and I’m not always perfect at it, but when I put in the extra effort it always pays off in the best ways.

You can read about her autism-meets-middle school adventures and the challenges, victories, and learning curves that happen along the way at thisautismlife.com .

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HOMEWORK HELP: Teaching students, parents the skills to succeed

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich — With a new school year underway, chances are your student is already coming home with homework.

How can parents help their children ace those assignments?

Read on to learn tips from April Ruiz, a longtime educator and founder of Mosaic Masterminds, a West Michigan-based tutoring organization.

Why is homework important?

Ruiz told FOX 17 students must practice what they are learning outside the classroom.

"There are several benefits to doing homework... for one, it allows our scholars to be able to extend their learning from the school day by applying what they've learned. It also gives them an opportunity to cement the lessons that the teachers have facilitated," Ruiz explained. "I'd say homework is exceedingly important for overall success and for confidence building, which, in our experience as teachers, is half the battle."

How can parents set their student(s) up for success?

Ruiz has several tips for parents to consider as students bring home assignments.

*Be proactive in your child's learning

Ruiz said, "It is exceedingly important to know ahead of time what's coming down the pike, so we're not caught off guard."

That leads to her next tip...

*Stay engaged

Ruiz advises staying in contact with your student's teachers.

"If our parents are clued into what's going on in the classroom, that makes such a tighter partnership in the learning process for the scholar, so, therefore, the teachers know what the students know what the parents know," she explained.

*Don't be afraid to check your student's backpack

Ruiz said this is important, no matter the age.

"Our tweens and teens are going through a lot of physiological changes as well. Their brains are a little scattered sometimes, and it's not always high priority for them to keep at the forefront of their mind an assignment or permission slip for a field trip, for example."

*Develop a routine

Ruiz said that may mean scheduling homework time

"I think it's really important to have a routine established, whether it's chores, homework, family, bonding, time, whatever the case may be, we need to schedule homework just like we schedule our extracurricular activities or other fun things we do outside of school," she explained. "They really appreciate structure. They respond well to it in most cases, and also just having that accountability."

*Take advantage of online resources

Ruiz said there's a wealth of information and learning tools online if your student needs some extra help.

"You could literally Google free math resources or free math literacy resources, free science quizzes online. And there's just a world of things out there that our parents and scholars can take advantage of for added practice. There's flash cards, there's physical flashcards, there's digital flashcards, there's games that are out there that can be played," she said.

*Know when to reach out for extra support

Groups like Mosaic Masterminds are available to help with challenges along the way.

Alicia Czarnik-Hagan has enlisted Mosaic Masterminds to help both of her students.

This summer, her 11-year-old son Harrison worked with a "Mastermind" tutor to prepare for the transition from elementary to middle school.

"My biggest thing right now is just helping to keep them organized and on track," Czarnik-Hagan. "I want [homework] to be done. Like, my expectation is that...I feel like it's important to teach kids about responsibility, organizing, planning, prioritizing, and that's really those skills that you get from homework."

Czarnik-Hagan said her biggest test is navigating the parent-child relationship while helping with assignments.

"It is the most challenging when I'm trying to teach something or explain something to my child, because I wasn't in that classroom that day, and so there's a different relationship," she explained. "Just balancing that relationship after school, of still being a parent, but not pushing too hard and like, breaking that the parent relationship and child relationship."

If there's one more tip to pass along, Ruiz said it's to "do something."

"If you don't have a school that is assigning homework regularly, be that gap filler where you can find opportunities for your scholar to extend his or her learning. Make sure that you are on guard and on duty, checking the parent view app, talking with the teacher, email, pop in and find out what's going on... just make sure that you're doing something. Something is better than nothing, and we want our scholars to win."

You can learn more about Mosaic Masterminds here .

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This Mom Says She's Opting Her Kid Out Of Homework This Year

“The only thing that you should be worried about is learning and what time snack time is.”

A new parenting trend on TikTok begs the question: is homework optional? For some parents, that seems to be the case as some moms and dads are coming forward to announce that they are not making their kids do homework when they get home from school.

After an emotional homework session , one mom decided that all the fighting and tears were not worth the trouble, noting that she emailed her son’s teacher to tell him that he would not be participating in homework this year.

“For any parents that might not know this, and I just recently learned this, is that you can actually opt out of homework for your children,” Arizona mom, @cayleyxox said in her now-viral TikTok.

For context, her son goes to a charter school so this “opt out” news might not apply to all.

“I didn't know that until recently, and I just sent my son's kindergarten teacher a cute little email saying, ‘I'm sorry, based on the stress, mental, physical anxiety it's causing my kid, we are done. We are done opting out for the rest of the year.’”

She then shared the moment when she decided to make this change.

“On the first week of school ... he got this packet. It's for August. It doesn't look like it's all that bad, but it's about 15 to 20 pages double-sided. You do the math. We have been working on it and trying to work on it to the best of our abilities, and it is causing him so much mental, physical stress,” she shared.

“This morning I had him sit down. I felt so guilty for this. We were sitting down, I told him, ‘You can't even watch a show this morning. You can't do anything. It's going to be radio silence until you sit here and eat your breakfast and finish at least one or two pages of this. Because you're way behind.’ This is so much work for him. I started crying. He started crying. It was an emotional mess.”

She attributes the stress of homework to her son’s sudden lack of interest in going to school at all.

“I felt so guilty dropping him off at school. He didn't want to be there. For the last two weeks, he's told me he doesn't even like school and doesn't want to be there anymore, which hurts my mama heart because you were five. Five. You were in kindergarten. The only thing that you should be worried about is learning and what time snack time is,” she said.

Cayley then wonders what kind of message having kids to homework actually sends, noting that she wants to teach her kids to “work to live not live to work.”

“What are we teaching kids? What are we teaching them? That, ‘Oh, yeah, here you go. You're going to go to work and you're going to be paid salary, but it doesn't matter if you don't finish your work in the eight to ten hours that you're there Monday through Friday. You're going to bring that work home and you're going to do that on your own time.’”

“No ... not up in here. We are not teaching our children that. Work to live. We don't live to work ... In this household, we're done doing homework. I want my kids to love school. I want him to love to learn. I want him to have fun. I want to enjoy it ...”

The TikTok mom was met with mixed responses. Some users agreed with her take while others argued that she’s teaching her kid to be entitled.

“I hear this, but then I think how 50% of the population has a 7th grade reading level in the USA,” one user wrote.

“I would maybe find some strategies to motivate him to get his homework done. Positive incentives, goals, make it a game. Use fun pens etc. You have to put in the work to make it fun,’ another suggested.

Another noted, “I’m gonna play devils advocate, as a teacher mama who also hates homework because we have busy extracurriculars! Sometimes it’s less about ‘they need to be doing work’ and more about ‘sit with your kids And read to/with them, study spelling words, or do some math problems? Show them you are interested in what they are learning, and I promise the benefits will multiply!!”

The OP replied, “That’s a great point I personally am just ranting to the internet I’m respectful of his teacher and her doing as she feels best and will never speak down but things will be modified as needed”

Several TikTok users wanted an update, asking how her son’s teacher responded to her email regarding the homework boycott. Things didn’t exactly go well.

During a face-to-face interaction at school pick-up, Cayley and the teacher discussed the email.

According to Cayley, her son’s teacher noted she had never received a complaint about homework to which she replied that she wasn’t complaining but rather “addressing the situation that's no longer gonna work for their family.”

They went back and forth about the amount of work with the teacher trying to negotiate how much the kid could do. The OP did not back down but opted for a reading log of 15-20 minutes of reading per night.

“No more f**king packets are happening in this house. That's for damn sure,” she concluded.

Cayley is not alone in this thinking. Besides the hundreds of moms who supported her in her comment section, another mom on TikTok also shared that her children will not be doing homework.

TikTok mom ( @phillybee12 ) also shared that if her kids are doing well in school, she will not have her kids doing homework.

“We don't do homework. Yesterday ... I get a phone call from [my daughter’s] teacher. She's calling to tell me how well my daughter's been doing in class for the last week and tells me that her grades are good. I said, ‘Well, I just want to let you know while we're on the phone, we don't do homework.’ It is at this point in time that three other women inside the viewing room turn and look at me,” she beings, imitating confused glares.

“Like I'm some kind of psycho for not doing homework. Well, as long as the grades are good, we don't do homework. They're in school for seven hours. I'm not gonna have them come home and push homework. They go to sports. They sit at home with us. They talk. They play on their phones. We watch a movie together, whatever it is, it's not homework. So until their grades are bad, we're not a homework family. Are you a homework family?”

Is homework optional? Or are parents setting their kids up for an entitlement mindset?

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