writing biography memoir

How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide

Zining Mok  |  January 29, 2024  |  32 Comments

If you’ve thought about putting your life to the page, you may have wondered how to write a memoir. We start the road to writing a memoir when we realize that a story in our lives demands to be told. As Maya Angelou once wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

How to write a memoir? At first glance, it looks easy enough—easier, in any case, than writing fiction. After all, there is no need to make up a story or characters, and the protagonist is none other than you.

Still, memoir writing carries its own unique challenges, as well as unique possibilities that only come from telling your own true story. Let’s dive into how to write a memoir by looking closely at the craft of memoir writing, starting with a key question: exactly what is a memoir?

How to Write a Memoir: Contents

What is a Memoir?

• Memoir vs Autobiography

Memoir Examples

Short memoir examples.

• How to Write a Memoir: A Step-by-Step Guide

A memoir is a branch of creative nonfiction , a genre defined by the writer Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.” The etymology of the word “memoir,” which comes to us from the French, tells us of the human urge to put experience to paper, to remember. Indeed, a memoir is “ something written to be kept in mind .”

A memoir is defined by Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.”

For a piece of writing to be called a memoir, it has to be:

• Nonfictional
• Based on the raw material of your life and your memories
• Written from your personal perspective

At this point, memoirs are beginning to sound an awful lot like autobiographies. However, a quick comparison of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love , and The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin , for example, tells us that memoirs and autobiographies could not be more distinct.

Next, let’s look at the characteristics of a memoir and what sets memoirs and autobiographies apart. Discussing memoir vs. autobiography will not only reveal crucial insights into the process of writing a memoir, but also help us to refine our answer to the question, “What is a memoir?”

Memoir vs. Autobiography

While both use personal life as writing material, there are five key differences between memoir and autobiography:

1. Structure

Since autobiographies tell the comprehensive story of one’s life, they are more or less chronological. writing a memoir, however, involves carefully curating a list of personal experiences to serve a larger idea or story, such as grief, coming-of-age, and self-discovery. As such, memoirs do not have to unfold in chronological order.

While autobiographies attempt to provide a comprehensive account, memoirs focus only on specific periods in the writer’s life. The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

Autobiographies prioritize events; memoirs prioritize the writer’s personal experience of those events. Experience includes not just the event you might have undergone, but also your feelings, thoughts, and reflections. Memoir’s insistence on experience allows the writer to go beyond the expectations of formal writing. This means that memoirists can also use fiction-writing techniques , such as scene-setting and dialogue , to capture their stories with flair.

4. Philosophy

Another key difference between the two genres stems from the autobiography’s emphasis on facts and the memoir’s reliance on memory. Due to memory’s unreliability, memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth. In addition, memoir writers often work the fallibility of memory into the narrative itself by directly questioning the accuracy of their own memories.

Memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth.

5. Audience

While readers pick up autobiographies to learn about prominent individuals, they read memoirs to experience a story built around specific themes . Memoirs, as such, tend to be more relatable, personal, and intimate. Really, what this means is that memoirs can be written by anybody!

Ready to be inspired yet? Let’s now turn to some memoir examples that have received widespread recognition and captured our imaginations!

If you’re looking to lose yourself in a book, the following memoir examples are great places to begin:

• The Year of Magical Thinking , which chronicles Joan Didion’s year of mourning her husband’s death, is certainly one of the most powerful books on grief. Written in two short months, Didion’s prose is urgent yet lucid, compelling from the first page to the last. A few years later, the writer would publish Blue Nights , another devastating account of grief, only this time she would be mourning her daughter.
• Patti Smith’s Just Kids is a classic coming-of-age memoir that follows the author’s move to New York and her romance and friendship with the artist Robert Maplethorpe. In its pages, Smith captures the energy of downtown New York in the late sixties and seventies effortlessly.
• When Breath Becomes Air begins when Paul Kalanithi, a young neurosurgeon, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Exquisite and poignant, this memoir grapples with some of the most difficult human experiences, including fatherhood, mortality, and the search for meaning.
• A memoir of relationship abuse, Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House is candid and innovative in form. Machado writes about thorny and turbulent subjects with clarity, even wit. While intensely personal, In the Dream House is also one of most insightful pieces of cultural criticism.
• Twenty-five years after leaving for Canada, Michael Ondaatje returns to his native Sri Lanka to sort out his family’s past. The result is Running in the Family , the writer’s dazzling attempt to reconstruct fragments of experiences and family legends into a portrait of his parents’ and grandparents’ lives. (Importantly, Running in the Family was sold to readers as a fictional memoir; its explicit acknowledgement of fictionalization prevented it from encountering the kind of backlash that James Frey would receive for fabricating key facts in A Million Little Pieces , which he had sold as a memoir . )
• Of the many memoirs published in recent years, Tara Westover’s Educated is perhaps one of the most internationally-recognized. A story about the struggle for self-determination, Educated recounts the writer’s childhood in a survivalist family and her subsequent attempts to make a life for herself. All in all, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down.

While book-length memoirs are engaging reads, the prospect of writing a whole book can be intimidating. Fortunately, there are plenty of short, essay-length memoir examples that are just as compelling.

While memoirists often write book-length works, you might also consider writing a memoir that’s essay-length. Here are some short memoir examples that tell complete, lived stories, in far fewer words:

• “ The Book of My Life ” offers a portrait of a professor that the writer, Aleksandar Hemon, once had as a child in communist Sarajevo. This memoir was collected into Hemon’s The Book of My Lives , a collection of essays about the writer’s personal history in wartime Yugoslavia and subsequent move to the US.
• “The first time I cheated on my husband, my mother had been dead for exactly one week.” So begins Cheryl Strayed’s “ The Love of My Life ,” an essay that the writer eventually expanded into the best-selling memoir, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail .
• In “ What We Hunger For ,” Roxane Gay weaves personal experience and a discussion of The Hunger Games into a powerful meditation on strength, trauma, and hope. “What We Hunger For” can also be found in Gay’s essay collection, Bad Feminist .
• A humorous memoir structured around David Sedaris and his family’s memories of pets, “ The Youth in Asia ” is ultimately a story about grief, mortality and loss. This essay is excerpted from the memoir Me Talk Pretty One Day , and a recorded version can be found here .

So far, we’ve 1) answered the question “What is a memoir?” 2) discussed differences between memoirs vs. autobiographies, 3) taken a closer look at book- and essay-length memoir examples. Next, we’ll turn the question of how to write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir: A-Step-by-Step Guide

1. how to write a memoir: generate memoir ideas.

how to start a memoir? As with anything, starting is the hardest. If you’ve yet to decide what to write about, check out the “ I Remember ” writing prompt. Inspired by Joe Brainard’s memoir I Remember , this prompt is a great way to generate a list of memories. From there, choose one memory that feels the most emotionally charged and begin writing your memoir. It’s that simple! If you’re in need of more prompts, our Facebook group is also a great resource.

2. How to Write a Memoir: Begin drafting

My most effective advice is to resist the urge to start from “the beginning.” Instead, begin with the event that you can’t stop thinking about, or with the detail that, for some reason, just sticks. The key to drafting is gaining momentum . Beginning with an emotionally charged event or detail gives us the drive we need to start writing.

3. How to Write a Memoir: Aim for a “ shitty first draft ”

Now that you have momentum, maintain it. Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write. It can also create self-doubt and writers’ block. Remember that most, if not all, writers, no matter how famous, write shitty first drafts.

Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write.

4. How to Write a Memoir: Set your draft aside

Once you have a first draft, set it aside and fight the urge to read it for at least a week. Stephen King recommends sticking first drafts in your drawer for at least six weeks. This period allows writers to develop the critical distance we need to revise and edit the draft that we’ve worked so hard to write.

5. How to Write a Memoir: Reread your draft

While reading your draft, note what works and what doesn’t, then make a revision plan. While rereading, ask yourself:

• What’s underdeveloped, and what’s superfluous.
• Does the structure work?
• What story are you telling?

6. How to Write a Memoir: Revise your memoir and repeat steps 4 & 5 until satisfied

Every piece of good writing is the product of a series of rigorous revisions. Depending on what kind of writer you are and how you define a draft,” you may need three, seven, or perhaps even ten drafts. There’s no “magic number” of drafts to aim for, so trust your intuition. Many writers say that a story is never, truly done; there only comes a point when they’re finished with it. If you find yourself stuck in the revision process, get a fresh pair of eyes to look at your writing.

7. How to Write a Memoir: Edit, edit, edit!

Once you’re satisfied with the story, begin to edit the finer things (e.g. language, metaphor , and details). Clean up your word choice and omit needless words , and check to make sure you haven’t made any of these common writing mistakes . Be sure to also know the difference between revising and editing —you’ll be doing both. Then, once your memoir is ready, send it out !

Learn How to Write a Memoir at Writers.com

Writing a memoir for the first time can be intimidating. But, keep in mind that anyone can learn how to write a memoir. Trust the value of your own experiences: it’s not about the stories you tell, but how you tell them. Most importantly, don’t give up!

Anyone can learn how to write a memoir.

If you’re looking for additional feedback, as well as additional instruction on how to write a memoir, check out our schedule of nonfiction classes . Now, get started writing your memoir!

32 Comments

Thank you for this website. It’s very engaging. I have been writing a memoir for over three years, somewhat haphazardly, based on the first half of my life and its encounters with ignorance (religious restrictions, alcohol, and inability to reach out for help). Three cities were involved: Boston as a youngster growing up and going to college, then Washington DC and Chicago North Shore as a married woman with four children. I am satisfied with some chapters and not with others. Editing exposes repetition and hopefully discards boring excess. Reaching for something better is always worth the struggle. I am 90, continue to be a recital pianist, a portrait painter, and a writer. Hubby has been dead for nine years. Together we lept a few of life’s chasms and I still miss him. But so far, my occupations keep my brain working fairly well, especially since I don’t smoke or drink (for the past 50 years).

Hi Mary Ellen,

It sounds like a fantastic life for a memoir! Thank you for sharing, and best of luck finishing your book. Let us know when it’s published!

Best, The writers.com Team

Hello Mary Ellen,

I am contacting you because your last name (Lavelle) is my middle name!

Being interested in genealogy I have learned that this was my great grandfathers wife’s name (Mary Lavelle), and that her family emigrated here about 1850 from County Mayo, Ireland. That is also where my fathers family came from.

Is your family background similar?

Hope to hear back from you.

Richard Lavelle Bourke

Hi Mary Ellen: Have you finished your memoir yet? I just came across your post and am seriously impressed that you are still writing. I discovered it again at age 77 and don’t know what I would do with myself if I couldn’t write. All the best to you!! Sharon [email protected]

I am up to my eyeballs with a research project and report for a non-profit. And some paid research for an international organization. But as today is my 90th birthday, it is time to retire and write a memoir.

So I would like to join a list to keep track of future courses related to memoir / creative non-fiction writing.

Hi Frederick,

Happy birthday! And happy retirement as well. I’ve added your name and email to our reminder list for memoir courses–when we post one on our calendar, we’ll send you an email.

We’ll be posting more memoir courses in the near future, likely for the months of January and February 2022. We hope to see you in one!

Very interesting and informative, I am writing memoirs from my long often adventurous and well travelled life, have had one very short story published. Your advice on several topics will be extremely helpful. I write under my schoolboy nickname Barnaby Rudge.

[…] How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide […]

I am writing my memoir from my memory when I was 5 years old and now having left my birthplace I left after graduation as a doctor I moved to UK where I have been living. In between I have spent 1 year in Canada during my training year as paediatrician. I also spent nearly 2 years with British Army in the hospital as paediatrician in Germany. I moved back to UK to work as specialist paediatrician in a very busy general hospital outside London for the next 22 years. Then I retired from NHS in 2012. I worked another 5 years in Canada until 2018. I am fully retired now

I have the whole convoluted story of my loss and horrid aftermath in my head (and heart) but have no clue WHERE, in my story to begin. In the middle of the tragedy? What led up to it? Where my life is now, post-loss, and then write back and forth? Any suggestions?

My friend Laura who referred me to this site said “Start”! I say to you “Start”!

Hi Dee, that has been a challenge for me.i dont know where to start?

What was the most painful? Embarrassing? Delicious? Unexpected? Who helped you? Who hurt you? Pick one story and let that lead you to others.

I really enjoyed this writing about memoir. I ve just finished my own about my journey out of my city then out of my country to Egypt to study, Never Say Can’t, God Can Do It. Infact memoir writing helps to live the life you are writing about again and to appreciate good people you came across during the journey. Many thanks for sharing what memoir is about.

I went to Egypt earlier this year. I aspire for my second book to document and tell the story of my travels of Africa, following the first – a memoir that led me to this post.

I am a survivor of gun violence, having witnessed my adult son being shot 13 times by police in 2014. I have struggled with writing my memoir because I have a grandson who was 18-months old at the time of the tragedy and was also present, as was his biological mother and other family members. We all struggle with PTSD because of this atrocity. My grandson’s biological mother was instrumental in what happened and I am struggling to write the story in such a way as to not cast blame – thus my dilemma in writing the memoir. My grandson was later adopted by a local family in an open adoption and is still a big part of my life. I have considered just writing it and waiting until my grandson is old enough to understand all the family dynamics that were involved. Any advice on how I might handle this challenge in writing would be much appreciated.

I decided to use a ghost writer, and I’m only part way in the process and it’s worth every penny!

Hi. I am 44 years old and have had a roller coaster life .. right as a young kid seeing his father struggle to financial hassles, facing legal battles at a young age and then health issues leading to a recent kidney transplant. I have been working on writing a memoir sharing my life story and titled it “A memoir of growth and gratitude” Is it a good idea to write a memoir and share my story with the world?

Thank you… this was very helpful. I’m writing about the troubling issues of my mental health, and how my life was seriously impacted by that. I am 68 years old.

[…] Writers.com: How to Write a Memoir […]

[…] Writers.com: “How to Write a Memoir” […]

I am so grateful that I found this site! I am inspired and encouraged to start my memoir because of the site’s content and the brave people that have posted in the comments.

Finding this site is going into my gratitude journey 🙂

We’re grateful you found us too, Nichol! 🙂

Firstly, I would like to thank you for all the info pertaining to memoirs. I believe am on the right track, am at the editing stage and really have to use an extra pair of eyes. I’m more motivated now to push it out and complete it. Thanks for the tips it was very helpful, I have a little more confidence it seeing the completion.

Well, I’m super excited to begin my memoir. It’s hard trying to rely on memories alone, but I’m going to give it a shot!

Thanks to everyone who posted comments, all of which have inspired me to get on it.

Best of luck to everyone! Jody V.

I was thrilled to find this material on How to Write A Memoir. When I briefly told someone about some of my past experiences and how I came to the United States in the company of my younger brother in a program with a curious name, I was encouraged by that person and others to write my life history.

Based on the name of that curious program through which our parents sent us to the United States so we could leave the place of our birth, and be away from potentially difficult situations in our country.

As I began to write my history I took as much time as possible to describe all the different steps that were taken. At this time – I have been working on this project for 5 years and am still moving ahead. The information I received through your material has further encouraged me to move along. I am very pleased to have found this important material. Thank you!

Wow! This is such an informative post packed with tangible guidance. I poured my heart into a book. I’ve been a professional creative for years to include as a writer, mainly in the ad game and content. No editor. I wasn’t trying to make it as an author. Looking back, I think it’s all the stuff I needed to say. Therapy. Which does not, in and of itself, make for a coherent book. The level of writing garnering praise, but the book itself was a hot mess. So, this is helpful. I really put myself out there, which I’ve done in many areas, but the crickets response really got to me this time. I bought “Educated” as you recommended. Do you have any blog posts on memoirs that have something to say to the world, finding that “something” to say? It feels like that’s theme, but perhaps something more granular. Thanks for this fantastic post. If I had the moola, I would sign up for a class. Your time is and effort is appreciated. Typos likely on comments! LOL

thanks. God bless

I am a member of the “Reprobates”, a group of seven retired Royal Air Force pilots and navigators which has stayed in intermittent touch since we first met in Germany in 1969. Four of the group (all of whom are in their late seventies or early eighties) play golf together quite frequently, and we all gather for reunions once or twice a year. About a year ago, one of the Reprobates suggested posterity might be glad to hear the stories told at these gatherings, and there have since been two professionally conducted recording sessions, one in London, and one in Tarifa, Spain. The instigator of these recordings forwarded your website to his fellow Reprobates by way of encouragement to put pen to paper. And, I, for one, have found it inspiring. It’s high time I made a start on my Memoirs, thank you.

Thank you for sharing this, Tim! Happy writing!

Hi, I’m Jo. I’m finally jumping in and writing the memoir that has been running alongside me for at least the last 5 years. I’m terrified, of what I’m not 100% sure. The story won’t leave me alone and right now is the time to start my first draft. I’m approaching half way through what nature may call natural life on Earth, mid-life sounds strange to say. It just feels like the right time to document the journey thus far – especially the last decade. It’s been a radical time for transformation, internally and externally. I’m afraid but your post and these comments have helped.

Good luck on your memoir, Jo! I’m excited to hear more.

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Write a Great Memoir: How to Start (and Actually Finish) Your First Draft

by Joe Bunting | 1 comment

Start Your Story TODAY! We’re teaching a new LIVE workshop this week to help you start your next book. Learn more and sign up here.

When I first started writing my memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , about a real-life adventure I experienced with my wife and ten-month-old son, I thought it was going to be easy.

After all, by that point in my career, I had already written four books, two of which became bestsellers. I’ve got this, I thought. Simple.

It wasn’t. By the time Crowdsourcing Paris was published and became a #1 New Release on Amazon, it was more than five years later. During that time, I made just about every mistake, but I also learned a process that will reliably help anyone to start and finish writing a great memoir.

My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , as a #1 New Release on Amazon!

In this guide, I want to talk about how you can start writing your memoir, how you can actually finish it, and how you can make sure it’s good .

If you read this article from start to finish, it will save you hundreds of hours and result in a much better finished memoir.

Hot tip : Throughout this guide, I will be referencing my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris as an example. To get the most out of this guide and the memoir writing process in general, get a copy of the book to use as an example. Order your copy here »

But Wait! What Is a Memoir? (Memoir Definition)

How do you know if you're writing a memoir? Here's a quick memoir definition:

A memoir is a book length account or autobiography about a real life situation or event. It usually includes a pivotal experience in your life journey.

A key point to make is that memoir is a  true story . You don't have to get every piece of dialogue perfect, but you do have to try to tell the personal story or experience as best as you remember.

If you're looking to fictionalize your real life account you're writing a novel, not a memoir (and specifically a roman à clef novel ).

For more on the difference between a novel and a memoir, check out this coaching video:

How to Get Started With Your Memoir: 10 Steps Before You Start Writing

This guide is broken into sections: what to do before you start writing and how to write your first draft.

When most people decide to write a memoir, they just start writing. They write about the first life experience they can think of.

That’s sort of what I did too. I just started writing about my trip to Paris, beginning with how I first decided to go as a way to become a “real writer.” It turned out to be the biggest mistake I made.

If you want to finish your memoir, and even more, write a good memoir, just starting with the first memory you can think of will make things much harder for you.

Instead, get started with a memoir plan.

What’s a memoir plan? There are ten elements. Let’s break it down.

Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

1. Write Your Memoir Premise in One Sentence

The first part of a memoir plan is your premise. A premise is a one-sentence summary of your book idea.

You might be wondering, how can I summarize my entire life in a single sentence?

The answer is, you can’t. Memoir isn’t a full autobiography. It’s not meant to be a historical account of your entire life story. Instead, it should share one specific situation and what you learned from that situation.

Every memoir premise should contain three things:

• A Character. For your memoir, that character will always be you . For the purposes of your premise, though, it’s a good idea to practice thinking of yourself as the main character of your story. So describe yourself in third person and use one descriptive adjective, e.g. a cautious writer.
• A Situation. Memoirs are about a specific event, situation, or experience. For example, Marion Roach Smith’s bestselling memoir was about the discovery that her mother had Alzheimer’s, which at the time was a fairly unknown illness. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , begins on the first day of my trip to Paris and ends on the day I left. You can’t write about everything, at least in this book. But you can write about one thing well, and save all the other ideas for the next book.
• A Lesson. What life lesson did you learn from this situation? How did your life change inexorably after going through this situation? Again, here you can’t write about everything you’ve ever learned. Choose ONE life lesson or emotional truth and focus on it.

Want to see how a premise actually looks? Here’s an example from my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris :

When a Cautious Writer is forced by his audience to do uncomfortable adventures in Paris he learns the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone.

One thing to note: a premise is not a book description. My book description, which you can see here , is totally different from the premise. It’s more suspenseful and also less detailed in some ways. That’s because the purpose of a premise isn’t to sell books.

What is the premise of your memoir? Share it in the comments below!

2. Set a Deadline to Finish Your First Draft

Or if you’ve already finished a draft, set a deadline to finish your next draft.

This is crucial to do now , before you do anything else. Why? Because there are parts of the memoir plan that you can spend months, even years on. But while planning is helpful, it can easily become a distraction if you don’t get to the writing part of the process.

That’s why you want to put a time limit on your planning by setting a deadline.

How long should the deadline be?

Stephen King says you should write a first draft in no longer than a season. So ninety days.

In my 100 Day Book program, we’ve helped hundreds of memoir writers finish their book in just 100 days. To me, that’s a good amount of time to finish a first draft.

However, I wouldn’t take any longer than 100 days. Writing a book requires a level of focus that’s difficult to achieve over a long period of time. If you set your deadline for longer than 100 days, you might never finish.

Also set weekly milestones.

In addition to your final deadline, I recommend breaking up the writing process into weekly milestones.

If you’re going to write a 65,000-word memoir over 100 days, let’s say, then divide 65,000 by the number of weeks (about 14) to get your weekly word count goal: about 4,600 words per week.

That will give you a sense of how much progress you’re making each week, so you won’t be in a huge rush to finish right at the end of your deadline. After all, no one can pull an all-nighter and finish a book! Create a writing habit that will enable you to actually finish your book.

Keep track of your word count deadlines.

By the way, this is one reason I love Scrivener , my favorite book writing software , because it allows you to set a target deadline and word count. Then Scrivener automatically calculates how much you need to write every day to reach your deadline.

It’s a great way to keep track of your deadline and how much more you have to write. Check out my review of Scrivener to learn more.

3. Create Consequences to Make Quitting Hard

I’ve learned from experience that a deadline alone isn’t enough. You also have to give your deadline teeth .

Writing a book is hard. To make sure that you show up to the page and do the work you need to finish, you need to make it harder to not write.

How? By creating consequences.

I learned this from a friend of mine, writer and book marketing expert Tim Grahl .

“If you really want to finish your book,” he told me, “write a check for $1,000 to a charity you hate. Then give that check to a friend with instructions to send it if you don’t hit your deadline.”

“I don’t need to do that,” I told him. “I’m a pro. I have discipline.” But a month later, after I still hadn’t made any progress on my memoir, I finally decided to take his advice.

This was during the 2016 U.S. presidential election. So I wrote a $1,000 check to the presidential candidate that I most disliked (who shall remain nameless!), and gave it to a friend with instructions to send the check if I didn’t hit my final deadline.

I also created smaller consequences for the weekly deadlines, which I highly recommend. Here’s how it works:

Consequence #1 : Small consequence, preferably related to a guilty pleasure that might keep you from writing. For example, giving up a game on your phone or watching TV until you finish your book.

Consequence #2 : Giving up a guilty pleasure. For example, giving up ice cream, soda, or alcohol until you finish your book.

Consequence #3 : Send the $1,000 check to the charity you hate.

Each of these would happen if I missed three weekly deadlines. If I missed the final deadline, then just the $1,000 check would get sent.

After I put in each of these consequences, I was the most focused and productive I’ve ever been in my life. I finished my book in just nine weeks and never missed a deadline.

If you actually want to finish your memoir, give this process a try. I think you’ll be surprised by how well it works for you.

4. Decide What Kind of Story You’re Telling

Now that you’ve set your deadline, start thinking about what kind of book you’re writing. What is your story really about?

“Memoir is about something you know after something you’ve been through,” says Marion Roach Smith, author of The Memoir Project .

I think there are seven types of stories that most memoirs are about.

• Coming of Age. A story about a young person finding their place in the world. A great example is 7 Story Mountain  by Thomas Merton.
• Education. An education story , according to Kim Kessler and Story Grid, is about a naive character who, through the course of the story, comes to a bigger understanding of the world that gives meaning to their existing life. My memoir, Crowdsourcing Paris , is a great example of an education memoir.
• Love. A love story is about a romantic relationship, either the story of a breakup or of two characters coming together. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is a great example of a love story memoir, as it tells the story of her divorce and then re-discovering herself and love as she travels the world.
• Adventure/Action. All adventure stories are about life and death situations. Also, most travel memoirs are adventure stories. Wild by Cheryl Strayed is a great example, and Crowdsourcing Paris is also an adventure story. (You can apply the principles from our How to Write Adventure guide here , too!)
• Performance. Performance memoirs are about a big competition or a competitive pursuit. Julie and Julia , Julie Powell’s memoir about cooking her way through Julia Child’s recipes, is a good example of a performance memoir. Outlaw Platoon , about the longest-serving Ranger platoon in Afghanistan, is another great performance story.
• Thriller. Memoirs about abuse or even an illness could fall into the crime, horror, or thriller arena. (Our full guide on How to Write a Thriller is here .)
• Society. What is wrong with society? And how can you rebel against the status quo? Society stories are very common as memoirs. I would also argue that most humor memoirs are society stories, since they talk about one person’s funny, transgressive view on society. Anything by David Sedaris, for example, is a society memoir.

For more on all of these genres, check out Story Grid’s article How to Use Story Grid to Write a Memoir .

Three Stories

Note that I included my memoir in two categories. That’s because most books, including memoirs, are actually a combination of three stories. You have:

• An external story. For example, Crowdsourcing Paris is an adventure story.
• An internal story . As I said, Crowdsourcing Paris is an education story.
• A subplot . Usually the subplot is another external story, in my case, a love story.

What three stories are you telling in your memoir?

5. Visualize Your Intention

One of the things that I’ve learned as I’ve coached hundreds of writers to finish their books is that if you visualize the following you are much more likely to follow through and accomplish your writing goals:

• Where you're going to write
• When you're going to write
• How much you're going to write

Here I want you to actively visualize yourself at your favorite writing spot accomplishing the word count goal that you set in step two.

For example, when I was writing Crowdsourcing Paris , I would imagine myself sitting at this one café that was eight doors down from my office. I liked it because it had a little bit of a French feel. Then I would imagine myself there from eight in the morning until about ten.

Finally, I would actively visualize myself watching the word count tracker go from 999 to 1,000 words, which was my goal every day. Just that process of imagining my intention was so helpful.

What is your intention? Where, when, and how much will you write? Imagine yourself actually sitting there in the place you’re going to write your memoir.

6. Who Will Be On Your Team?

No one can write a book alone. I learned this the hard way, and the result was that it took me five years to finish my memoir.

For every other book that I had written, I had other people holding me accountable. Without my team, I know that I would never have written those books. But when I tried to write my memoir, I thought, I can do this on my own. I don’t need accountability, encouragement, and support. I’ve got this.

To figure out who you need to help you finish your memoir, create three different lists of people:

• Other writers. These are people who you can process, with who know the process of writing a book. Some will be a little bit ahead of you, so that when you get stuck, they can encourage you and say, “I’ve been there. You’re going to get through it. Keep working.”
• Readers. Or if you don’t have readers, friends and family. These will be the people who give you feedback on your finished book before it’s published, e.g. beta readers.
• Professional editors. But you also need professional feedback. I recommend listing two different editors here, a content editor to give feedback on the book as a whole (for example, I recommend a Write Practice Certified Coach), and a proofreader or line editor to help polish the final draft. (Having professional editing software is smart too. We like ProWritingAid. Check out our ProWritingAid review .)

Just remember: it takes a team to finish a book. Don’t try to do it on your own.

And if you don’t have relationships with other writers who can be on your team, check out The Write Practice Pro. This is the community I post my writing in to get feedback. Many of my best writing friends came directly from this community. You can learn more about The Write Practice Pro here .

7. What Other Books Will Inspire You?

“Books are made from books,” said Cormac McCarthy. Great writers learn how to write great books by reading other great books, and so should you.

I recommend finding three to five other memoirs that can inspire you during the writing process.

I recommend two criteria for the books you choose:

• Commercially successful. If you want your book to be commercially successful, choose other books that have done well in the marketplace.
• Similar story type. Try to find books that are the same story type that you learned in step four.

For my memoir, I had four main sources of inspiration.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert; The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain; A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway; and Midnight in Paris , the film by Woody Allen.

I referred back to these sources all the time. For example, when I was stuck on the climactic scene in the memoir, I watched one scene in A Midnight in Paris twenty times until I could quote the dialogue. I still didn’t come up with the solution until the next day, but understanding how other writers solved the problems I was facing helped me figure out my own solutions for my story.

8. Who Is Your Reader Avatar?

Who is your book going to be for? Or who is the one person you’ll think of when you write your book? When the writing gets hard and you want to quit, who will be most disappointed if you never finish your book?

I learned this idea from J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote his novel The Hobbit for his three boys as a bedtime story. Every day he would work on his pages, and every night he would go home and read them to his sons. And this gave him an amazing way to get feedback. He knew whether they laughed at one part or got bored at another.

This helped him make his story better, but I also imagine it gave him a tremendous amount of motivation.

This Can Be You, Sort Of

I don’t think your reader avatar should be you. When it comes to your own writing, you are the least objective person.

There’s one caveat: you can be your own reader avatar IF you’re writing to a version of yourself at a different time. For example, I have friends who have imagined they were writing to a younger version of themselves.

Who will you write your memoir for?

9. Publishing and Marketing

How will you publish your book? Will you go the traditional route or will you self-publish? Who is your target market (check your reader avatar for help)? What will you do to promote and market your book? Do you have an author website ?

It might be strange to start planning for the publishing and marketing of your book before you ever start writing it, but what I’ve discovered is that when you think through the entire writing process, from the initial idea all the way through the publishing and marketing process, you are much more likely to finish your book.

In fact, in my 100 Day Book program, I found that people who finished this planning process were 52 percent more likely to finish their book.

Spend some time thinking about your publishing and marketing plans. Just thinking about it will help you when you start writing.

Start Building Your Audience Before You Need It

In the current publishing climate, most memoir agents and publishers want you to have some kind of relationship with an audience before they will consider your book.

Start building an audience before you need it. The first step to building an audience, and the first step to publishing in general, is building an author website. If you don’t have a website yet, you can find our full author website guide here .

(Building a website doesn’t have to be intimidating or time-consuming if you have the right guide.)

10. Outline Your Memoir

The final step of the planning process is your memoir outline . This could be the subject of a whole article itself. Here, I’ve learned so much from Story Grid, but if you don’t have time to read the book and listen to over 100 podcast episodes, here’s a quick and dirty process for you.

But First, for the Pantsers

There are two types of writers: the plotters and the pansters . Plotters like to outline. Pantsers think outlining crushes their creative freedom and hate it.

If you identify with the pantsers, that’s okay. Don’t worry too much about this step. I would still recommend writing something in this section of your memoir plan, even if you only know a few moments that will happen in the book, even recording a series of events might help as you plan.

And for you plotters, outline to your heart’s content, as long as you’ve already set your deadline!

Outlining Tips

When you’re ready to start outlining, here are a few tips:

• Begin by writing down all the big moments in your life that line up with your premise. Your premise is the foundation of your story. Anything outside of that premise should be cut.
• S eparate your life events into three acts. One of the most common story structures in writing is the three-act story structure. Act 1 should contain about 25 percent of your story, Act 2 about 50 percent of your story, and Act 3 about 25 percent.
• Act 1 should begin as late into the story as possible. In Crowdsourcing Paris , like most travel memoirs, I began the story the day I arrived in Paris.
• Use flashbacks, but carefully. Since I began Crowdsourcing Paris so late into the action, I used flashbacks to provide some details about what happened to lead up to the trip. Flashbacks can be overused, though, so only include full scenes and don’t info dump with flashbacks.
• Start big. The first scene in your book should be a good representation of what your book is about. So if you’re writing an adventure story (see Step 4), then you should have a life or death moment as the first scene. If you’re writing a love story, you should have a moment of love or love lost.
• End Act 1 with a decision. It is you, and specifically your decisions , that drive the action of your memoir. So what important decision did you make that will drive us into Act 2?
• Start Act 2 with your subplot. In Step 4, I said most books are made up of three stories. Your subplot is an important part of your book, and in most great stories, your subplot begins in Act 2.
• Act 2 begins with a period of “fun and games.” Save the Cat , one of my favorite books for writers, says that after the tension you built with the big decision in Act 1, the first few scenes in Act 2 should be fun and feel good, with things going relatively well for the protagonist.
• Center your second act on the “all is lost” moment. Great stories are about a character who comes to the end of him or herself. The all is lost moment is my favorite to write, because it’s where the character (in this case you ) has the most opportunity to grow. What is YOUR “all is lost” moment?
• Act 3 contains your final climactic moment. For Crowdsourcing Paris , this was the moment when I thought I was going to die. In a love story memoir, it might be when you finally work things out and commit to your partner.
• Act 3 is also where you show the big lesson of the memoir. Emphasis on show. Back in Step 1, you identified the lesson of your memoir. Act 3 is when you finally demonstrate what you’ve learned throughout the memoir in one major event.
• A tip for the final scene: end your memoir with the subplot. This gives a sense of completion to your story and works as a great final moment.

Use the tips above to create a rough outline of your memoir. Keep in mind, when you start writing, things might completely change. That’s okay! The point with your plan isn’t to be perfect. It’s to think through your story from beginning to end so that you’ll be prepared when you get to that point in the writing process.

Want to make this process as easy as possible? Get the memoir plan in a downloadable worksheet. Click to download your memoir plan »

That’s the end of the planning stage of this guide. Now let’s talk about how to write your first draft.

How to Write the First Draft of Your Memoir

If you’ve followed the steps above to create a memoir plan, you’ve done the important work. Writing a memoir, like writing any book, is hard. But it will actually be harder to not be successful if you’ve followed all the steps in the memoir plan.

But once you’ve created the “perfect” plan, it’s time to do the dirty work of writing a first draft.

In part two of our guide, you’ll learn how to write and finish a first draft.

1. Forget Perfection and Write Badly.

First drafts are messy. In fact, Anne Lamott calls them “shitty first drafts” because they are almost always terrible.

Even though I know that, though, any time I’m working on a new writing project, I still get it into my head that my first draft should be a masterpiece.

It usually takes me staring at a blank screen for a few hours before I admit defeat and just start writing.

If you’re reading this, don’t do that! Instead, start by writing badly.

Besides, when you’ve done the hard planning work, what you write will probably be a lot better than you think.

2. Willpower Doesn’t Work. Neither Does Inspiration. Instead, Use the “3 Minute Timer Trick.”

My biggest mistake when I began Crowdsourcing Paris was to think I had the willpower I needed as a professional writer and author of four books to finish the book on my own. Even worse, I thought I would be so inspired that the book would basically write itself.

I didn’t. It took not making much progress on my book for more than a year to realize I needed help.

The best thing you can do to help you focus on the writing process for your second draft is what we talked about in Step 4: Creating a Consequence.

But if you still need help, try my “3 Minute Timer Trick.” Here’s how it works:

• Set a timer for three minutes. Why three minutes? Because for me, I’m so distractible I can’t focus for more than three minutes. I think anyone can focus for three minutes though, even me.
• Write as fast as you can. Don’t think, just write!
• When the timer ends, write down your total word count in a separate document (see image below). Then subtract from the previous word count to calculate how many words you wrote during that session.
• Also write down any distractions during those three minutes. Did the phone ring? Did you have a tough urge to scroll through Facebook or play a game on your phone? Write it down.
• Then, repeat the process by starting the timer again. Can you beat your word count?

This process is surprisingly helpful, especially when you don’t feel like writing. After all, you might not have it in you to write for an hour, but anyone can write for three minutes.

And the amazing thing is that once you’ve started, you might find it much easier to keep going.

Other Tools for Writers

By the way, if you’re looking for the tools I use and other pro writers I know use, check out our Best Tools for Creative Writers guide here .

3. Make Your Weekly Deadlines.

You can’t finish your book in an all-nighter. That being said, you can finish a chapter of your book in an all-nighter.

That’s why it’s so important to have the weekly deadlines we talked about in Part 1, Step 2 of this guide.

By breaking up the writing process into a series of weekly deadlines, you give yourself an achievable framework to finish your book. And with the consequences you set in Step 3 of your memoir plan, you give your deadlines the teeth they need to hold you accountable.

And as I mentioned above, Scrivener is especially helpful for keeping track of deadlines (among other things). If you haven’t yet, check out my review of Scrivener here .

4. Keep Your Team Updated.

Having a hard time? It’s normal. Talk to your team about it.

It seems like when you’re writing a book, everything in the universe conspires against you. You get into a car accident, you get sick, you get into a massive fight with your spouse or family member, you get assigned a new project at your day job.

Writing a book would be hard enough on its own, but when you have the rest of your life to deal with, it can become almost impossible.

Without your team, which we talked about in Step 6 of your book plan, it would be.

For me, I would never have been able to finish one book, let alone the twelve that I’ve now finished, without the support, encouragement, and accountability of the other writers whom I call friends, the readers who believe in me, and most of all, my wife.

Remember: No book is finished alone. When things get hard, talk about it with your team.

And if you need a team, consider joining mine. The Write Practice Pro is a supportive encouraging community of writers and editors. It’s where I get feedback on my writing, and you can get it here too. Learn more about the community here.

5. Finally, Trust the Process.

When I walk writers through the first draft writing process, inevitably, around day sixty, they start to lose faith.

• They think their book is the all-time worst book ever written.
• They get a new idea they want to work on instead.
• They decide the dream to write a book and become a writer was foolish.
• They want to quit.

A few do quit at this point.

But the ones who keep going discover that in just a few weeks they’ve figured out most of the problems in their book, they’re on their last pages, and they’re almost finished.

It happens every time, even to me.

If you take nothing else from this post, please hear this: keep going. Never quit. If you follow this process from start to finish, you’re going to make it, and it’s going to be awesome.

I’m so excited for you.

How to Finish Your Memoir

More than half of this guide is about the planning process. That’s because if you start well, you’ll finish well.

If you create the right plan, then all that’s left is doing the hard, messy work of writing.

Without the right plan, it’s SO easy to get lost along the way.

That’s why I hope you’ll download my Memoir Plan Worksheet. Getting lost in the writing process is inevitable. This plan will become your map when it happens. Click to download the Memoir Plan Worksheet.

More than anything, though, I hope you’ll never quit. It took me five years to write Crowdsourcing Paris , but during that time I matured and grew so much as a writer and a person, all because I didn’t quit.

Even if it takes you five years, the life lessons you’ll learn as you write your book will be worth it.

And if you’re interested in a real-life adventure story set in Paris, I’d be honored if you’d read Crowdsourcing Paris . I think you’ll love it.

Good luck and happy writing.

More Writing Resources:

• How to Write a Memoir Outline: 7 Essential Steps For Your Memoir Outline
• 7 Steps to a Powerful Memoir
• The Memoir Project by Marion Roach Smith
• Crowdsourcing Paris by J.H. Bunting

Are you going to commit to writing a memoir (and never quitting, no matter what)? Let me know in the comments .

Summarize your memoir idea in the form of a one-sentence premise. Make sure it contains all three elements:

• A character
• A situation

Take fifteen minutes to craft your premise. When you’re finished, share your memoir premise in the Pro Practice Workshop for feedback. And if you share, please be sure to give feedback to three other writers. Not a member? Join us .

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

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WSJ Bestselling author, founder of The Write Practice, and book coach with 14+ years experience. Joe Bunting specializes in working with Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, How To, Literary Fiction, Memoir, Mystery, Nonfiction, Science Fiction, and Self Help books. Sound like a good fit for you?

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Home » Blog » How to Write a Memoir in 30 Steps

How to Write a Memoir in 30 Steps

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Table of contents.

Have you ever wanted to share your life story with the world? Well, you’re in the right place. Writing a personal memoir is a powerful and cathartic way to preserve your memories, impart wisdom, and connect with readers on a personal level.

What is a Memoir?

The word memoir means memory.

A memoir is a narrative that captures significant moments or experiences from an individual’s life, focusing on the emotions, lessons, and personal growth that arise from these events. Unlike an autobiography, which covers the entirety of a person’s life, a memoir centers around specific themes or impactful events.

This means that your book will center around certain memories written by you that have changed or affected you during your lifetime.

Your theme will determine the type of memoir you will be writing. The important thing is to have a theme and stick to it. Possible themes can include:

• Tragedy and redemption

Writing a memoir involves several crucial steps that guide you from the initial idea to a polished, compelling narrative. Whether you’re a seasoned fiction writer or a beginner, you can effectively share your life experiences by following these steps:

1. Choose a Theme

If you have looked up how to write a memoir, the likelihood is that you already have something in mind you feel drawn to write.  But if you are unsure of your theme or have few to choose from, try this simple exercise:

• Write down any events in your life you think have had a large emotional impact on you, or have changed you in some way.
• Keep a note of this in your pocket and add it to the list anytime you remember something of significance.
• Check the list once you think you have everything you can think of. Then write down and choose the event that elicits the largest emotional response or the one you are most enthused to write about.

If this doesn’t work, the best way to work out your main theme is to write a lot. The subject you find yourself most focused on? That’s your theme.

2. Create an Outline

Creating an outline is an essential step in writing a memoir. It provides a roadmap that helps you stay organized and ensures your narrative flows logically. Here’s how to start:

• Identify Key Events: List the significant moments you want to include in your memoir. These should align with your chosen theme and highlight pivotal points in your life.
• Organize Chronologically or Thematically: Decide whether to arrange these events in chronological order or group them by themes. This choice will shape the structure of your memoir.
• Detail Each Chapter: For each key event, jot down the main points you want to cover. Consider the emotions, lessons, and character development that each chapter will convey.
• Include Subplots and Supporting Characters: Weave in subplots and secondary characters that add depth to your story. These elements can provide contrast and enrich the main narrative.

An outline doesn’t have to be rigid. Use it as a flexible guide that can evolve as your memoir progresses.

3. Check Yourself

Memoir can be a very sensitive and emotional genre to write. It can involve exploring difficult emotional issues and revisiting painful experiences that run deep.

So take your time. If you do not feel like you have healed from these experiences, make sure to get emotional support from a friend, family member, or trusted therapist.

If writing is a painful experience, then perhaps journaling or dropping it altogether for some time is a good idea. Remember, you are more important than art.

4. Read (A Lot)

You will need to read many memoirs to find out how to write a memoir. Watch films about other people’s lives, or read memoir examples from those who inspire you or have a similar story. Note what you liked or what stood out to you as emotionally impactful.

Notice how other people’s writing influences your style. This can be a good thing. As you incorporate other styles, you will find your unique style of writing.

Some memoir examples you may have read (or may want to read) are:

• Boy, Roald Dahl
• Eat pray love, Elizabeth Gilbert
• Why be happy when you could be normal? Jeannette Winterson
• I know why the caged bird sings, Maya Angelou
• Thunderdog, Michael Hingson, Susy Flory
• A street cat named Bob, James Bowen
• As I walked out one midsummer morning, Laurie Lee
• A moveable feast, Ernest Hemingway
• I am Malala, Malala Yousafzai

If you are looking for memoir ideas, especially those that resonate deeply with readers, consider exploring themes of coming of age, which involve self-discovery, personal growth, and the challenges and triumphs of growing up.

By tapping into these universal experiences and emotions, you can make your story more relatable and engaging for a broad audience.

You can also explore memoir templates to get an idea of the actual structure. Squibler is an AI book writing tool that offers extensive memoir writing templates so you can start right away. 

5. Think About Who You’re Writing a Memoir For

Many writers write for themselves. This can work well. If you find something interesting or emotional, often your readers will, too.

Other writers will have ‘reader consciousness’ from the very beginning . Either way, at some point, the reader must be included in the mix. But it’s a balance. You need both.

When considering how to write a memoir, it can help to have a reader in mind. Steven King writes for his mother and wife. If you’re writing a memoir about domestic violence, you may be writing to another survivor, real or imaginary.

The first draft can be written just for you. But by the third draft, your editor will be considering the reader’s experience. And if you want them to love it, then you should, too.

6. Write for the Right Reasons

One thing to know is, that this is not the place to just vent feelings about annoying people or events. It’s about overcoming the difficulties of life, not moaning about them.

If you have written 800,000 words about your exhausting trek up Mount Kilimanjaro, there will be golden moments hidden within the text. But no reader is going to wade through that much detail. So cut it out.

Neither is your book a place to get revenge. So, if you have some grudge against your 9th-grade teacher and want to get your own back, this is not the place to do it. If you want to feel good about using that anger, you’d be better off using it in a fictional piece of writing as fuel for one of your more unpleasant characters.

7. Know your Reasons and Find a Path

Everyone has a reason for writing a memoir. Work out yours. It will help guide you when you feel like giving up.

Every writer has a unique journey to publication. Don’t feel pressured to follow all the advice—use what works for you and discard the rest. If a particular tip resonates with you, embrace it and make it part of your writing process.

If you feel lost, you may try all of them and see what you think. But never let a plan or memoir outline make you think you don’t know what you are doing.

Your insights and instincts will guide you much better than any article post can. And that is what gives your book your stamp. It’s what makes your book truly yours . So trust yourself.

8. Just Start

Writing a memoir isn’t always a breeze; it’s like crafting a true story that reads like a novel . Condensing your life’s events into a compelling narrative can be even more challenging than fiction. However, the reward is deeply satisfying.

Sharing your personal life experiences here , ones that impacted you profoundly is a unique and fulfilling endeavor. Hopefully, your memoir will positively influence your readers and the world.

When starting your powerful memoirs , jot down what inspires you. Perhaps a life-altering experience, like a car crash, gave you a fresh perspective worth sharing. Write down your ideas and related stories.

Establishing a writing routine can work wonders, making writing a habit, just like brushing your teeth. In the initial draft, let it all out without reservations – vent and spill your thoughts onto the page.

Considering how to begin can be overwhelming. To ease your concerns, practice freewriting and use writing prompts regularly. These exercises help you get into the writing groove and settle into your writing sessions effortlessly.

Use Squibler ’s Smart Writer to write with the help of AI. Just explain your narrative to the AI tool, and it will handle the rest of the work and generate the content in a matter of seconds for you. This way, you can focus on your story while the AI takes care of grammar, language, and punctuation.

9. Write (A Lot)

Writing a memoir is easy. One sure way to know how to write a book is to write a lot. Try not to worry too much about anything in the beginning stages. Just make sure to express everything you have to express.

If you want a simple plan to get you started writing , try thinking up three different titles that relate to your theme. Don’t expect any of them to be the final title, but for the sake of writing, pick one.

Next, write out three possible first lines for your novel. You want to hook readers in. Again, this is just a practice exercise and the first line is to change during the rewrite.

Then, once you have this, decide on your most intense memory. This can be your climax.

Use an AI tool like Squibler to help with this phase. You provide the instructions to the AI and it will generate the content for you. Not just writing, but you can also rewrite, expand, and add more intensity, conflict, examples, and details to your memoir with the help of AI. 

10. Plan/Don’t Plan

There are two types of writers, those who plan and those who don’t. A plotter is called just that, and a ‘pantser’ is a writer who does not plot before writing but instead prefers to fly by the seat of their pants. There is no right way to get to your finished product, but this is something to consider.

If you are a pantser, you will want to write at first – write a lot of your story, everything, even things that don’t seem relevant or interesting. Explore every avenue. That free flow will mean the nuggets of the story – the real emotional gems can be mined afterward. You will then later need to tussle with the idea of some kind of structure as you bring it all together.

If you are a planner, on the other hand, you will already know what you are going to be writing. This may save you some time, but it doesn’t make rewriting any less important. This means writing each section several times to make sure you have the strongest prose possible. The first chapter of Harry Potter was rewritten 20 times before JK was satisfied, so bear that in mind.

If you want to write a memoir outline in detail, you will want to make a note of who is in each scene, the location, date, conflict, and the momentum of each scene (i.e. what the result will be). 

Online tools, such as Squibler can, of course, help with this process. While this is useful, make sure you don’t get too bogged down in the details. And to allow it some room to breathe. That could mean allowing some extra time before or after your planned scene to write and just see what happens.

11. Don’t Be Afraid of Bad Writing

Don’t be discouraged if your first draft is terrible. It’s meant to be. That’s why it’s a first draft.

If you’re not happy with the content of your work, don’t be afraid to get rid of what you’ve done and start all over again. Sometimes you need a fresh slate.

Mostly, however, you need time, and a lot more words down on the page, before you discover anything worth putting in the final manuscript.

12. Have a Variety of Characters

Just like a novel, you will want to have a variety of characters featured within your memoir. Make sure they are interesting and varied i.e. don’t have all good or all bad characters. Even if your memoir focuses on someone stuck in a box for two days, you can draw characters out of the woodwork by using flashbacks.

A great example of this is Richard from Texas calling our main character ‘groceries’ throughout the entire book . This term of endearment, along with his description of looking like James Taylor, gives us a clear depiction of a character who would otherwise have been flat .

You can plot your characters, and store their description and details inside Squibler. The character profile is stored and you can always invoke it when you need them in your context. This way you not only reduce your work but also customize and enhance the AI tool by feeding it your crucial elements like characters, plots, and scenes. 

13. Work on Subplots

An important part of a memoir is having different levels and turning points of the story happening at the same time. This is the same as for any book. It keeps the reader interested and on their toes.

To do this you can tie in other thoughts or experiences that relate to what is happening. This should happen quite naturally, as our memories are often not linear. And neither is the story.

With Squibler, you can divide your memoir into sections and chapters inside one single editor. You can access those chapters as you go and work with better organization. 

14. Include ‘Aha’ Moments

A good memoir often includes little pockets of insight left for the reader. While there will be a main takeaway at the end of the great memoir , they are often also sprinkled with ideas that most of us can relate to. (Even if we have not been through the same experience as the author.)

For example, when talking about her divorce in Eat, Pray, Love; Gilbert notes, “This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” 

Don’t try and make these moments happen – they should appear organically. No one likes to read a lecture. You’ll know the difference because the insight will surprise you.

15. Know Story Structure

A satisfying component of a story is the idea that something is difficult to obtain, and by the end, your character has got it. This happens in all genres and memoirs are no different. Have a point A and a point B in mind. This will keep you on track and help you if you ever get lost.

You can (be as flexible with this as you like,) changing the protagonist’s (your) aim if needs be. But always know where you’re headed and where you’ve been.

However, if you struggle with developing a good structure, you can always use Squibler’s existing memoir templates that are professionally structured, outlined, and ready for you to work on. 

16. Describe the Character Arc

In the same way, you need a structure for your story, you will also need your protagonist to go through some changes. Just like in a novel, a memoir requires the main character to go through enough trials and tribulations that by the end of the book adds to their personal growth.

This means you must have found some way of using your experience to see things in a different light. Or, that you have changed your own life, in some way as a result.

17. Be Honest

The magic of a good memoir is its raw authenticity and emotional truth .

When someone is being vulnerable and pouring their inner thoughts and fears onto the page, this vulnerability is what the process is all about. If you can open up, then you become much more appealing and relatable as a character.

On the other hand, if you feel you have to lie for the story to be compelling, consider writing a fictional work with truthful elements laced within its pages. Non-fiction readers feel betrayed when they find out a story isn’t entirely true.

18. Be Vulnerable

Memoir is the art of connection. The person that has shown us their soul on paper, is someone we will care about. We want to read on, to find out what happens to them.

So open up, relax into what you are writing, and be you. Only then can the reader see the whole truth in you. And that is the only way they can see themselves in you.

19. Get Uncomfortable

You will come across a passage that feels a little bit tender or raw and embarrassing to show in the light of day, maybe you even feel a little ashamed of it. That feeling is what vulnerable writing is all about. The part perhaps, where you’re too embarrassed to share it with your closest friends? That is the best part of your writing. So don’t shy away from it. Check with an editor. The hardest-hitting parts are most often the scariest to share.

This is the part that makes you most relatable and attractive as a character and to your readers. (If you’re writing a memoir about a difficult subject, this may happen a lot. That’s the juice. Just be careful to make sure, as iterated above, to take care of yourself, first, over the art.)

20. Keep on Theme

This is the most important point.

While writing a memoir (once you have gotten all of your thoughts down on paper) make sure you don’t go too far off the beaten track. If you do, then perhaps you were meant to be writing about something else, anyway. But for argument’s sake, keep on topic.

Each point in your story will, ideally, link together nicely, some stories will not relate to your lesson learned but will contribute to the realization of it. In the same way, never tell an anecdote just for the sake of it. Instead, make sure that the logic of your story falls like dominoes, i.e. one section leads to the other.

21. Consider your Tone of Voice

The more you can show your personality through your style within your text, the better.

During your first draft, you will be just getting your thoughts and ideas down onto paper. By your second, you may want to begin thinking about the tone of your writing. The more honest you are, the easier this process will be.

If you’re stuck, try speaking into a tape player before writing another word. Otherwise, you can try a speech recognition tool while writing. This will capture your exact tone of voice when speaking and may give the book a more personal and authentic touch.

22. Show, Don’t Tell

This is another simple stylistic point, and it makes all the difference. But what does it mean?

Essentially, showing through your writing means to describe and give a vivid picture that plants the reader within the scene. It takes them right there. Telling, meanwhile, is a summary of whatever it is you are describing.

It won’t engage the reader or writer in the same way.

It could be useful, as you write your first draft, to note down all of the things you could see, smell, touch, and taste. This will help bring back the memory immediately. It will also make your writing more vivid.

During the later drafts, you can use this tip to make your writing come alive. A feeling of distrust becomes a tension in your shoulders as the hairs on your arm bristle. A tree branch breaking becomes a sound like the fracturing of bones. Showing and not telling ensures your writing is colorful and engaging for your reader.

Use Squibler’s advanced AI tool to work on the “Show, not Tell” part. Just select an existing brief text and Squibler will come up with multiple options of rich content that you can choose from. 

23. Write and Rewrite Again

This is simple. Once you have your first draft checked off, you might want to take a rest before jumping into the second draft. Or not. Either way, bear in mind the fact that you will need to write at least three drafts before you have anything that resembles a finished piece of work.

You can split up this process by rewriting individual chapters to ensure each is well-written, or you can take one story and work on it as a whole.

“If the body language is right, then the emotion and the thought will be right: and that is the powerful moment, when the reader understands you, regardless.” Jeanette Winterson, author of Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

This is what you’re aiming for.

The rewrite is a good time to develop more precise descriptions and your use of language. It is also a good time to consider changing the order of events. Play around with style and form until you’re happy.

You can save your time to rewrite by using an AI writing tool. Squibler allows you to generate content with AI in a matter of seconds. You can write, rewrite, and summarize your content quickly and efficiently.

24. Consider Privacy/Confidentiality

At this stage, you will want to consider the people involved in your book. If it is a serious and tragic confessional, then at least one of the people involved might be hurt by you ‘outing’ their identity.

This is where it’s important to have an attorney at hand. You need to make sure their privacy is intact, that their name has been changed, and that there are no distinguishable features that would mean they could be recognized and/or shamed by their family history or community. In certain cases, you might also want to consider hiding your own identity.

This is the point where your message becomes razor-sharp. Your chapters are concise. And your story structure is coherent and exciting.

Editing can vary from changing the chronological order of the events that take place in the book, to making sure your style and characterization are consistent.

Whatever it is you need help with, make sure you choose an editor that you like and trust. And who is experienced? This is most important with a memoir as such personal material needs to be treated with care and a certain delicacy.

Be prepared to kill your darlings. Try to be open to criticism, as your editor, as long as they know what they are doing, will ensure a good book becomes a great one.

26. Proofread

Once fully edited, you will want your whole book again to be proofread. You can ask friends and even family members to help out with this (if you are lucky enough to know some who are patient enough to do this). As well as this, getting at least one professional proofreader to look over your work is advisable. The more you can get, the better.

You don’t want to put all this work into something, pour your heart and soul into it to find that you have a typo on page 67. More than one typo or punctuation error will begin to look unprofessional, so this is an important stage of the writing process.

27. Consider Legal and Ethical Issues

When writing a memoir, it’s crucial to be mindful of legal and ethical considerations:

• Privacy Concerns: Respect the privacy of the people you write about. Consider changing names and identifying details to protect their anonymity. Obtain consent from those who are easily identifiable.
• Defamation: Be aware of defamation laws. Ensure that your portrayal of individuals is accurate and fair. Avoid making false or damaging statements about others.
• Sensitive Topics: Approach sensitive topics with care. Be honest but considerate about how your writing might affect others. If necessary, consult with a legal advisor to understand potential implications.
• Cultural Sensitivity: Be mindful of cultural contexts and how different audiences might perceive your story. Strive for a respectful and inclusive narrative.

Balancing honesty with sensitivity is key to crafting a compelling and responsible memoir.

28. Seek Feedback

Feedback is invaluable in the memoir writing process. It helps you refine your narrative and ensures your story resonates with readers:

• Beta Readers: Share your draft with a few trusted beta readers. Choose individuals who represent your target audience and whose opinions you respect.
• Writing Groups: Join a writing group or workshop where you can exchange feedback with other writers. This collaborative environment can provide diverse perspectives.
• Professional Editors: Consider hiring a professional editor who specializes in memoirs. Their expertise can help polish your writing, enhance clarity, and improve the overall flow of your story.
• Sensitivity Readers: For memoirs dealing with specific cultural, racial, or social issues, sensitivity readers can provide insights to ensure your portrayal is accurate and respectful.

Constructive feedback helps you identify strengths and areas for improvement, making your memoir more impactful and engaging.

29. Format for Publication

Proper formatting is crucial for presenting your memoir professionally, whether you’re self-publishing or submitting to traditional publishers:

• Manuscript Formatting: Follow standard manuscript formatting guidelines. This typically includes using a readable font (like Times New Roman, 12 pt), double spacing, and one-inch margins.
• Chapter Titles and Subheadings: Use clear and consistent chapter titles and subheadings to guide readers through your story.
• Front and Back Matter: Include essential elements such as a title page, table of contents, acknowledgments, and an author’s note or biography.
• Proofreading: Ensure your manuscript is free from grammatical errors and typos. Professional proofreading services can be a worthwhile investment.
• Publishing Format: Decide on the format in which you want to publish your memoir. Options include print (hardcover or paperback), eBook, and audiobook. Each format has specific requirements and standards.
• Self-Publishing Platforms: If self-publishing, research platforms like Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP), IngramSpark, or Smashwords. These platforms offer various tools and guidelines to help you format your memoir for publication.

Proper formatting enhances readability and presents your memoir in the best possible light, increasing its chances of success.

30. Publish

A large part of writing a memoir involves planning how you will publish it. The second or third draft may be a good time to start thinking about marketability and where it would sit on the bookshelves in your local bookshop.

If you intend on going with a traditional publisher, then knowing what sells and whether your concept is marketable is important. If you want to self-publish and market it yourself, then being aware of your target audience is also a plus.

If sales aren’t your concern and you just need to write your story, then you don’t need to worry about the market. Remember, some successful books became hits because the authors focused on their unique stories rather than market trends. Their niche appeal made them stand out.

H is for Hawk by Helen McDonald, for example, is a memoir filled with insight into grief and loss as the main character deals with the loss of her father through learning falconry, something he loved to do during his lifetime.

McDonald was concerned it would not fit in anywhere, as she couldn’t find any other book that was both a memoir and a book on birds. This difference and originality, however, could have just given her the edge.

With Squibler, you can explore your memoir in various publishing formats like PDF, txt, and Kindle. 

Memoir vs. Autobiography

Both memoirs and autobiographies are books about someone’s life, right? So what’s the difference?

Well, it’s pretty simple.

A memoir has to do with a specific part of the writer’s life. It has a theme. The author will have in mind a time when their own life and perspective changed. The amount of time can span from an hour to several years, depending upon how long the process of learning took.

An autobiography is a chronological sequence history of events. It works from the moment the writer was born up until now.

This means that if you’ve had an interesting life, you might want to write an autobiography. But if there is one particular happening in your life worth taking notice of, then you might be best going with a memoir.

Final Remarks

In conclusion, writing a memoir is an incredible journey of self-discovery and connection with others. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to tell your story; it’s about sharing your unique experiences and perspective. Be honest, be passionate, and most importantly, be yourself.

As you embark on this literary adventure, keep in mind the tips we’ve shared: choose your stories wisely, engage your readers with vivid yet intricate details, and organize your memoir in such a way that suits your narrative best. And don’t forget, it’s okay to take your time and revise your work until it feels just right.

So, grab that pen or keyboard and start writing your own memoir now . Your story is worth sharing, and there are readers out there waiting to be inspired by your journey.

Here is a list of common questions that authors ask memoir writers :

How do I choose what to include in my memoir?

Begin by reflecting on the pivotal moments, life lessons, and experiences that have shaped you the most. Select the stories and memories that have had a lasting impact on your life and can resonate with your readers.

Should I be worried about hurting people’s feelings by sharing personal stories?

It’s essential to be respectful and considerate. Change names or use pseudonyms if necessary. Focus on your perspective and feelings, rather than casting blame or judgment on others.

How do I make my memoir engaging and relatable to readers?

Share your emotions and vulnerabilities honestly. Use descriptive language and vivid details to paint a clear picture of your own experiences here . Let your authentic voice shine through to connect with your audience.

What’s the best way to organize my memoir?

Consider a chronological approach, starting from your earliest memories and progressing through your entire life . Alternatively, use thematic chapters to group related stories and reflections together.

Is it necessary to write in a strict timeline or can I skip around in my storytelling?

You can jump around in your memoir, but it’s crucial to ensure a smooth flow for your readers. Use transitions and clear markers to guide them through key differences in your journey.

How long should my memoir be?

Focus on telling your compelling story, rather than worrying about a specific word count. Most memoirs range from 60,000 to 100,000 words, but the length should fit your story, not limit it.

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How to Write a Memoir That People Will Read: Your 9 Step Guide

Is it your dream to write a memoir? Everyone has a collection of memories and experiences that are worthy of being told… including you! And while memoirs are powerful stories that will change the lives of both the writer and their reader, it’s important to learn how to write a memoir effectively. 

This is a piece of your life story, after all. 

If you’ve been wondering: “How do I write a memoir effectively?” Don’t make the mistake of thinking that learning how to write a memoir is just like writing a journal entry, or even an autobiography. 

In this article, we’ll explain the differences, and walk you through the entire process of how to write a memoir. 

Read on to discover the secrets you need to know to make your memoir life-changing and unforgettable.

This blog on how to write a memoir covers:

What is a memoir.

A memoir is part of your life story in that it’s a collection of experiences, memories, or events that take place in a person’s life. It is not an autobiography , but rather a true experience from the writer’s life that is creatively written and incorporates research.

Writing your memoir is different to journaling moments or events in your life. If you want your memoir to be successful, you will also need storytelling skills.

Learning how to write a memoir can be a complex, daunting exercise, depending on the subject or topic of your book. It may be worthwhile to heed the advice of 20-year veteran and expert author, Jane Friedman . If your memoir isn’t selling. “The only antidote to this problem is to either become a better writer, or to find a more interesting story to tell.”

Over the past few years memoirs have become very popular. You no doubt are aware of some of the memoirs that were turned into movies in recent years.

Think of an autobiography as the whole pie , and a memoir a slice of that pie . A memoir covers a certain period or specific events in your life, and not your whole life .

A memoir is…

• Not about you. Ouch. At the end of the day, you need to provide lessons and ideas that will help your readers grow. A memoir still needs to be able to resonate with readers at its core.
• Not a journal. A journal is written for personal reasons, and almost certainly does not contain any storytelling elements in it. Also, there is no message in a journal.
• Not a rant session . Keep these thoughts and feelings for your journal.

What is a memoir example?

If you are interested in learning how to write a memoir, I assume you have read a number of published memoirs already.

You have, right?

These are some memoir examples from both well-known and lesser known authors:

• On Writing by Stephen King . This memoir “is a revealing and practical view of the writer’s craft, comprising the basic tools of the trade every writer must have.”
• The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls . This book came into the spotlight when the movie was made. This is a touching story, with a lot of emotion. Walls tells dives into the details of her childhood, living with her nomadic, alcoholic parents.
• Beautiful Boy by David Sheff . This is another memoir that was turned into a movie recently. And also, a very emotional story. Sheff shares his life dealing with his “son’s shocking descent into substance abuse and his gradual emergence into hope.”
• Direct from Dell by Michael Dell. This book is “the incredible story of Dell Computer’s successful rise, beginning in his college dorm room with $1,000 in capital.” 
• Anyone Can Do It by Duncan Bannatyne . Similar to Dell’s memoir the topic of this memoir is business – but it’s a business book unlike any other.
• Get Me Out of Here by Rachel Reiland . This memoir “reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside, and how healing from borderline personality disorder is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones.”
• Broken by Shy Keenan . This is a heart-wrenching story of incredible child abuse. The subtitle says it all: “The most shocking true story of abuse ever told.”
• The Liars’ Club by Mary Karr . Published in 1995, this memoir tells the story of Karr’s childhood in the 1960s in a small industrial town in Southeast Texas. The title refers to her father and his friends who would gather to drink and tell stories when not working at the oil refinery or the chemical plant.
• Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt . is a 1996 memoir by the Irish-American author Frank McCourt with various anecdotes and stories of his childhood. It details his very early childhood, but focuses primarily on his life in Limerick, Ireland. It also includes his struggles with poverty and his father’s alcoholism.

Now that you have some great examples of memoirs, you may be wondering: How do I write a memoir? Can I write a memoir?

Can anyone write a memoir?

Everyone can write a memoir, but not everyone can learn how to write a memoir successfully. 

Success is linked to your “why?” and the subject matter. 

For example, if you plan to write a memoir about your years of working as a sales clerk in a retail store, you need to ask yourself what the value of your memoir is going to be to your reader.

If you have a specific and intentional value or lesson to show the reader, then great! But if you’re just telling about your day-to-day activities with no real lesson to be learned, you may want to rethink your memoir.

Finally, you also need to have storytelling skills to make your writing captivating and exciting for the reader. A book writing coach can help you bring everything together into a cohesive, engaging, and inspiring story – while helping you reach all the important milestones of writing and self-publishing a book.

That brings us to the next important topic of how to write a memoir: the key elements of a memoir.

What are the key elements of a memoir ?

Every successful memoir has specific elements that contribute to its success, both from the writing standpoint and the reader’s experience. 

Now that you have a clearer picture on the exact definition of a memoir (and what makes it different from an autobiography), it’s time to get clear on the important elements of a memoir. 

These are the key elements of a memoir: 

• A focused theme. Your memoir should have an overarching theme, takeaway lesson, or message for your readers. It’s not just a play-by-play of your life, but rather shows the reader something based on a specific event or experience.
• Conflict. The most captivating and memorable memoirs are those that have a hero’s journey , or obstacles that the narrator must overcome. 
• Writing style. The reader is likely reading the story from your perspective, so make sure your writing style and voice come through your narrative. This is your chance to invite the reader into your world and tell a story from your life, so add some personality to it. 
• Supporting stories and details. While this is a memoir about your particular experience, it will be stronger if you’re able to inject stories from other people’s lives to move your narrative along.
• Storytelling elements. Your memoir needs to be an engaging, emotional experience for the reader, and the best way to create this is by incorporating the elements of storytelling. Draw on character development, the setting of the story , an exciting plot, literary elements , and more. 
• Truth. Lastly, your memoir needs to be an honest reflection of your life experience. While it’s okay to highlight and draw attention to certain details, make sure your memoir is factual. This is not only important from a storytelling standpoint but from a legal position, too.

Crucial things to consider before writing your memoir:

It’s easy to get inspired by your dream to write a memoir, but before you get started, there are some cold hard truths to be mindful of.  Acknowledging the realities of memoir writing will help you manage your expectations and redefine what a successful memoir means for you.  Before you write your memoir, you should ask yourself:

What’s in it for the reader?

If you’re not a celebrity, it may not be realistic for you to find instant world-wide success. Getting people interested in your memoir is more difficult than writing a “how to” book. That’s why it’s important to angle your memoir in a way that readers can benefit from.

Is this the right topic?

The subject or topic of your memoir has a big influence on how successful the book will be.

Are my writing skills up to snuff?

Storytelling is important when learning how to write a memoir. That isn’t to say that you need to be a super talented writer to publish a successful memoir, but you do have to use literary elements in your story.

Am I emotionally prepared?

Writing a memoir can be a tremendous experience, but it can also be a daunting one. For example, if you want to write a memoir about your years of abuse in foster care, revisiting the memories may be traumatic.

That being said, learning how to write a memoir about traumatic experiences can be an incredibly empowering and healing process. You just have to be ready for it.

So, now that we’ve discussed what a memoir is and determined that you can, in fact, write one, let’s discuss how to write a memoir successfully in nine simple steps.

How to write a memoir in 9 easy steps

Here are the only steps you’ll need to learn how to write a memoir:

1. Determine the purpose of your memoir

The first step in learning how to write a memoir is determining WHY you want to write it. If you don’t have a strong “why?”, the motivation and determination to write your memoir will be almost impossible.

Tips for discovering the “why” of your memoir:

• Accept the process. It can be hard, but also exhilarating to learn how to write a memoir. Accept that there will be roadblocks, then ask yourself why it will be worth the struggles.
• Free write. Before you even start writing your book outline , brainstorm the reason you want to write it. Use pen and paper, or fire up your favorite word processor and think about the reason(s).
• Don’t make your “why” about money or recognition. Although these can be part of the reason for writing, your “why” should be deeper than that, like changing lives or leaving a legacy . 

Even if you are not a celebrity, but your memoir has a powerful message – encouraging, inspirational, motivational, or helpful in some other way – you may find that your book really takes off.

What do you want your reader to take away from your memoir?

Looking at the published memoirs I mentioned earlier, let’s look briefly at what their purposes are…

• Beautiful Boy . The purpose of this memoir is to illustrate the value of human endurance, love, and perseverance in dealing with drug addiction. Sheff offers encouragement and inspiration for his reader.
• Anyone Can Do It . Bannatyne inspires and motivates his readers by saying that anyone can achieve business success through perseverance.
• On Writing . The purpose of King’s book is to educate and encourage anyone interested in the writing craft.

2. Identify your target audience

Knowing the purpose of your memoir can help you identify your audience, and as such identify a market for your book. This will be invaluable when the time comes to promote your memoir. Ask yourself:

• Who is my typical reader? Examine their background, age range, career, interests, fears, etc.
• What is my reader looking for in a memoir? Does this reader expect to see heavier research, specific words and phrases, or actionable takeaways they can apply to their lives?
• What categories does this reader belong in? Is your memoir targeted at entrepreneurs, young parents-to-be, or people dealing with illness?
• Where do these readers consume information? Think of where you can reach these readers. These could be blogs and forums on the subject of your memoir. Think of where your readers can be found offline, too (clubs, organizations, associations, etc.). 

Think “outside the box.” In many cases (especially for a memoir) there could be secondary audiences.

3. Plan your memoir

Without proper planning, learning how to write a memoir will take a lot longer. 

After your initial questions are answered, you can start the actual planning of your memoir. This can include:

• A mindmap (Hero’s Journey)
• A text list
• An outline (questions)

Using a mindmap can be a huge time saver when learning how to write a memoir. You should:

• Plan the events. What event(s) and period is your memoir going to cover? For example, my time spent in the navy, my years at the orphanage, my life in foster care, how I started a side hustle and built it into a 6-figure company, etc.
• Use questions. As you build your mindmap, think of questions you want to ask. These will form the basis for your outline.
• Keep it simple at first. Start with a basic mindmap, then create a 3-act structure (or Hero’s Journey) diagram.

The above diagram I created after doing my mindmap, when I planned my second memoir. This was an A3 sheet, and I then used a pen to build the full story structure of a memoir afterwards.

Make a list

Expand your mindmap items and make a list (or lists) of the main points of your story. The list can be short answers to the questions you asked yourself.

Because the idea at this stage is to get the ideas down on paper quickly, these can be short phrases or sentences.

This is an example from my second memoir:

• Where it started – a kid, with my friend; make pocket money
• Reading a certain book – big influence on me – gave me the foundation
• First side hustle; photography [photo of camera] – weekends & nights – good extra income
• And so on…

Tip: Make notes on your mindmap of what source material (research) you will need. In my list above, I noted (in [brackets]) that I want to find a photo of the camera I used.

Outline your memoir

With your mindmap and list done, you can now start writing the basic outline of your memoir.

The value of a memoir outline is priceless; as it is when writing any book. With a memoir you will be covering a certain timespan, and events that occurred, and relying only on memory, which can be an arduous task.

Some of the basic questions to get started are:

• What event(s) am I going to cover?
• What is the timescale of my memoir?
• Who are the characters (the people) in my memoir?
• What source material do I need? Where will I get this?
• Will I need to interview anyone? When/how can I do this?

Use your list (and questions) and start to create your outline.

Every writer is unique and we all have our own best method of outlining.

4. Find source material (research)

When learning how to write a memoir, don’t rely on your memory alone. If you have any type of source material, gather this and file it.

This is applicable whether the time period of your memoir covers a number of years, or only a few years. Use the notes you made on your list – you may think of more source material you need as you do this.

Before you start to gather your source material, create a filing system (either physical, on the computer, or both).

If your source material is not sorted and filed, it can turn into an incredible time waster when learning how to write a memoir.

Think of what (and how much) research you need to do. This will give you an idea of how much work is needed before you put pen to paper (or hit the keyboard).

Another thing you should consider when learning how to write a memoir is a writing schedule . This can help you a lot in getting the actual writing of your memoir done within a realistic time frame. Otherwise it can drag on for years.

To learn how to write a memoir smoothly, I cannot emphasise the value of thorough preparation enough.

5. Consider memoir writing legalities

Full disclosure: We are not attorneys, and do not offer legal advice.

Heed the advice of Nomi Isak, from Los Angeles Editors & Writers Group : “Before publishing your memoir, get feedback from others and, if necessary, consult an attorney.”

Here’s what you need to know to avoid being sued with your memoir : “If your facts will not hold up as 100% true in a court of law, you can open yourself up to defamation. Before you write, make sure to check your facts. You want to know that if you’re writing about something controversial, that you’re not fabricating the truth.”

Tips to avoid being sued when learning how to write a memoir:

• Don’t lie in your memoir. 
• Understand your right to free speech. 
• Be aware of defamation and invasion of privacy issues. 

6. Be mindful of common memoir mistakes 

As you begin to write, it’s important to identify the common mistakes made by those writing a memoir. By keeping these front of mind before you start writing, and during your writing process, you’ll be prepared to avoid these mistakes as much as possible. 

Here are common mistakes when learning how to write a memoir:

• A boring story. This was the mistake I made with my first memoir. There was no storytelling, and the structure was…boring. The structure of a memoir needs to be compelling. I will always be grateful that a friend reviewed the manuscript and offered his honest advice. Be aware of this and ask a trusted friend or family member to read your manuscript before you send it to the professional editor and publisher.
• More than one book. This can be a real problem. As you start thinking about your memoir, it is possible that you want to include too much information, and the end result is that there is more than one book in your memoir. This can be overwhelming for your reader.
• Not focusing on the reader . Review the sections on finding your “why” to make sure you don’t make this mistake. Again, this was a mistake I made with my first memoir – I wrote it only from my view, and for me. There was nothing for the reader to glean. 
• Strange chronology. Memoirs have a general format, and to make it easier for your reader, the structure of a memoir should follow a chronological order.

7. Work through multiple drafts until you finish your memoir

As a memoir is such a personal type of book, and relies on memory (or historical source material), I suggest the following writing stages when learning how to write a memoir.

• Rough draft . Finishing a rough draft is all about speed – just get your ideas down on the page (or computer screen). Write, write, write.
• First draft . You can now tidy up your writing and add any source material that you may need. At this stage you should look at the completeness of your manuscript, i.e. is everything in that needs to be in? See how to start writing a book for more ideas on how to write a memoir in the beginning stages.
• Second draft . Now you look closer at your manuscript and your story to improve upon it. Refer back to your 3-act diagram.
• Final draft . Bring out your magnifying glass. I would suggest printing a copy of your Second Draft, and check the physical copy. Read your manuscript as a book and check how the story flows. Is there anything that’s unclear? Are all your cross-references correct?

Here are some tips to finish writing your memoir:

• Set aside time for writing and make a schedule. Then, stick to that schedule as much as you can!
• Acknowledge and overcome any feelings of imposter syndrome that prevent you from writing.
• Take breaks from writing if you need them, but do not give up entirely.
• Write first, edit later. Do not edit while you write. Save this for your editing process. Just focus on getting the words out first.
• Create a writing routine. Write at a specific time in the day, or in a specific area. Use positive affirmations, inspirational quotes , and have a warm cup of coffee or tea ready to go.
• Communicate with your family and friends about your writing goals . This will help them understand the importance of your writing time.
• Don’t aim for perfection. This is a common mistake most aspiring authors make when learning how to write a memoir. Done is better than perfect. You can always edit and refine your words later.

8. Title your memoir

When you start planning your memoir, you will likely have a working title, and that may change, especially after you start writing your book.

This is perfectly normal.

The subject of your memoir will usually determine your title. Look at the titles of the memoirs I have referenced in this series, and notice the titles for the different types of memoirs to draw inspiration.

The right title is important when your book is ready to be published. It can be more valuable than your book’s cover design, although they go together like a horse and carriage. My advice is not to just pick the first title that comes to mind.

A tool I like to use is our free book title generator .

Keep in mind that this is software, and you know the contents of your book best. The ultimate decision lies with you, the author.

9. Get your story out in the world

Once your memoir manuscript is written, it’s time to get it ready to be published. 

This means having it professionally edited, getting a book cover designed, and completing the entire publishing process. 

Hopefully, this guide on how to write a memoir will help you launch into action.

You have a life experience to share – a life experience that will contribute to your legacy and impact the lives of readers all around the world.

Are you ready to share your story?

Hopefully by now, you can confidently answer the question: “How do I write a memoir?”

So now it’s time to get writing!

If you need more help with how to write a memoir, the team at selfpublishing.com is always here to offer advice. You can make use of our many services for authors, from free outlines and courses, to book cover design, to one-on-one guidance from brainstorm to book launch.

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How to Write Your Memoir: A 5-Step Guide

Memoir is not just a fancy literary term for an autobiography. I say that from the start, because I so often hear the terms incorrectly interchanged.

Your memoir will be autobiographical, of course, but it can’t be about you.

Confused yet? Stay with me.

You may have heard both of these genres associated with creative nonfiction .

• What is Creative Nonfiction?

The term can seem confusing, but it’s all about telling a compelling true story while using the same kinds of elements found in good fiction to make it sing.

Creative Nonfiction is a term that can be applied to a wide array of genres,  including memoir, autobiography, biography, travel writing, personal essays, interviews, blogs, and more. Actually, it should be characteristic of almost any form of nonfiction.

In many ways, Creative Nonfiction reads like fiction while sticking to the facts. It allows you to tell a true story in a most compelling way by employing narrative elements like foreshadowing, backstory, dialog, conflict, tension, description, and more.

Such elements aren’t in themselves fictional. Your story remains absolutely true, but such tools enhance the reading experience.

Some nonfiction is designed primarily to educate and inform (think textbooks, how-to books, or self-help books), but would argue that even these can benefit from Creative Nonfiction techniques. Why not build a narrative that helps readers best relate to the content and become immersed in it?

Memoirs (from the French and Latin for “memory” or “remembrance”) by definition focus on your personal experience, intimacy with the reader, and reflecting both transferable principles and universal emotional truth.

That’s why, ironic as it may sound, a memoir should be as much about the reader as the writer. Yes, it’s your story, based on your experience, but unless readers see a bit of themselves in it, what’s the point? You will have written a book that is merely about something, rather than for the purpose of something.

So what can Creative Nonfiction bring to your memoir? Resonance. Relatability. Accessibility.

And how will it manifest itself? By triggering the theater of the readers’ minds so they can feel the story, imagine themselves in it, experience it with you.

Most importantly, convey your emotional truth . Show how your experiences, challenges, and lessons learned made you feel, how you coped, and the impact they had on your personal or spiritual growth.

• Autobiography vs. Memoir: What’s the Difference?

An autobiography is your life story from birth to the present.

A memoir is theme-oriented with anecdotes from your life that buttress a specific theme .

Too many authors write a memoir because they believe their lives are so interesting that even strangers would enjoy a detailed account .

Don’t misunderstand — maybe you are interesting.

All of us are, to some degree. I know hardly anyone who doesn’t have a story.

But unless you’re a celebrity, sorry but most people beyond your family and close friends aren’t likely to care.

They care about themselves and how your personal story might somehow benefit them.

So your theme must be reader-oriented, offering universal truth, transferable principles that will help them become a better person or get them through whatever crisis they might be facing.

The closest I have come to writing my own memoir, Writing for the Soul , uses selected anecdotes about famous and interesting people I’ve met to illustrate points I make about writing.

Had I merely written an autobiography and not offered writing instruction, it would’ve been largely ignored.

• Should You Write a Memoir?

While you don’t have to be famous to write a great memoir, you must tell a story that educates, entertains, and emotionally moves the reader.

You may write a memoir without intending to traditionally publish it. You might write it for only your family and friends.

I’m here to help, regardless your reason for writing your memoir.

• What Should Your Memoir Be About?

Your memoir should draw on anecdotes from your life to show how you progressed from some unlikely place to where you are today.

In that way, it’s about you, but it’s for the benefit of the reader.

Maybe you’re:

• From the other side of the tracks
• From a broken home
• A victim of abuse
• A recovered addict

Yet you have achieved:

• Financial security

You might start with how bad things once were for you and how unlikely it was that you would escape your situation.

Then you would show pivotal experiences and people important to your transformation, what you learned, and how your life changed.

Naturally, the better your stories and the more significant your change (in fiction, we call this a character arc ), the better your memoir.

However, great stories are not the point — and frankly, neither is the memoir writer (you).

The point is reader takeaway.

Readers should be able to apply to themselves and their own situations the larger truths and principles your theme imparts.

That way, you don’t have to awkwardly try to apply your message to them. Ideally, they’ll do that for themselves.

They may be enduring something entirely different from what you did, yet your story gives them hope.

• What Publishers Look For

Don’t buy into the idea that only famous people can sell a memoir. Sure, they might be able to get away with a recitation of their daily routines, because people are interested in the minutiae of the famous.

But memoirs by the largely unknown succeed for one reason: they resonate because readers identify with them.

Truth, especially the hard, gritty, painful stuff, bears that universal truth and those transferable principles I mentioned above.

Candor and self-revelation attracts readers, and readers are what publishers want .

Astute agents or publishers’ acquisitions editors recognize how relatable a memoir will be.

Agents and editors tell me they love to discover such gems — the same way they love discovering the next great novelist.

The key is a compelling story told with creative writing.

So, when writing your memoir…

Remember, you’re the subject, but it’s not really about you.

It may seem counterintuitive to think reader-first while writing in first person about yourself, but readers long to be changed by your story.

Give them insight about life through your experiences. Give them the tools they need to overcome their own struggles, even if they’re not at all like yours. Give them a model for overcoming.

Couch it in entertaining, educational, and emotional stories, and they’ll not only stay with you till the last page, but they’ll also recommend your memoir to their friends.

• How to Write a Memoir
• Settle On Your Theme
• Select Your Anecdotes
• Outline Your Book
• Write It Like a Novel
• Avoid Throwing People Under the Bus

Step 1. Settle On Your Theme

Your unstated theme must be, “You’re not alone. If I overcame this, you can overcome anything.”

That’s what appeals to readers. Even if they do come away from your memoir impressed with you, it won’t be because you’re so special — even if you are. Whether they admit it or not, readers care most about themselves.

They’re reading your memoir wondering, What’s in this for me? The more transferable principles you offer in a story well told, the more successful your book will be .

Cosmic Commonalities

All people, regardless of age, ethnicity, location, and social status, share certain felt needs: food, shelter, and love. They fear abandonment, loneliness, and the loss of loved ones. Regardless of your theme, if it touches on any of those needs and fears, readers can identify.

I can read the memoir of someone of my opposite gender, for whom English is not her first language, of a different race and religion, who lives halfway around the world from me — and if she writes of her love for her child or grandchild, it reaches me.

Knowing or understanding or relating to nothing else about her, I understand the love of family.

How to Write a Memoir Without Preaching

Trust your narrative to convey your message. Too many memoir writers feel the need to eventually turn the spotlight on the reader with a sort of “So, how about you…?”

Let your experiences and how they impacted you make their own points, and trust the reader to get it. Beat him over the head with your theme and you run him off.

You can avoid being preachy by using what I call the Come Alongside Method. Show what happened to you and what you learned, and if the principles apply to your readers, give them credit for being smart enough to get it.

Step 2. Select Your Anecdotes

The best memoirs let readers see themselves in your story so they can identify with your experiences and apply the lessons you’ve learned to their own lives.

If you’re afraid to mine your pain deeply enough to tell the whole truth, you may not be ready to write your memoir. There’s nothing a little less helpful — or marketable — than a memoir that glosses over the truth.

So, feature the anecdotes from your life that support your theme, regardless how painful it is to resurrect the memories. The more introspective and vulnerable you are, the more effective your memoir will be.

Create a list of events in your life and their impact on you. These may be major events like a war, your parents’ divorce, a graduation, a wedding, or the loss of a dear friend or relative.

But they may also be seemingly mundane life events that for some reason affected you deeply. Just make sure they support your theme.

Who is unforgettable and what role did they play in making you the person you’ve become?

Interview family and friends for different perspectives. Peruse photographs, revisit meaningful places, research dates, the weather, and relevant history.

Step 3. Outline Your Book

Without a clear vision, trying to write a memoir will likely end in disaster. There’s no substitute for an outline .

Potential agents or publishers require in your proposal a synopsis of where you’re going, and they also need to know that you know.

One that changed the course of my writing career is novelist Dean Koontz ’s Classic Story Structure, spelled out in his classic How to Write Bestselling Fiction . Though obviously intended as a framework for a novel , I discovered it applies perfectly to almost any genre (including TV sitcoms, if you can believe it).

And fortunately, for the purposes of my subject today, Koontz’s classic story structure serves a memoir beautifully too.

Here it is in a nutshell:

• Plunge your main character into terrible trouble as soon as possible
• Everything he does to try to get out of it makes it only progressively worse until…
• His situation appears hopeless
• But in the end, because of what he’s learned and how he’s grown through all those setbacks, he rises to the challenge and wins the day.

You might be able to structure your memoir the same way merely by how you choose to tell the story. As I say, don’t force things, but the closer you can get to that structure , the more engaging your memoir will be.

For your memoir, naturally, you’re the main character.

And the Terrible Trouble would be the nadir of your life . (If nadir is a new word for you, it’s the opposite of zenith .)

Take the reader with you to your lowest point, and show what you did to try to remedy things.

But what about that “as soon as possible” caveat?

Maybe your terrible trouble didn’t manifest itself until later in life.

Fine, start there. The backstory can emerge as you progress, but you’ll find his structure and sequencing will make for the most compelling read.

Important in fiction as well as in a memoir is to be sure your reader is invested in the main character enough to care when he is plunged into terrible trouble.

While in fiction that means some hint of the stakes — he’s a husband, a father, has suffered some loss, etc. If that’s also true of you, subtly inject it.

Also in a memoir, you want to promise a good outcome, some form of your own wonder at who you are now compared to who you once were or destined to be. That way, readers can take from your story that things can dramatically change for the better in their lives too.

One of the reasons this structure works so well in fiction is because it’s often true in real life.

If you’ve become a successful, happy person despite an unfortunate background, it’s likely that you tried many times to fix things, only to see them deteriorate until you developed the ability to break through.

All Koontz and I are saying is to emphasize that .

Keep your outline to a single page for now.

Then develop a synopsis with a sentence or two of what each chapter will cover.

Write this in the present tense. “I enroll in college only to find that…”

And don’t worry if you’ve forgotten the basics of classic outlining or have never felt comfortable with the concept.

It doesn’t have to be rendered in Roman numerals and capital and lowercase letters and then numerals, unless that serves you best.

Just a list of sentences that synopsize your idea works fine, too.

And remember, it’s a fluid document meant to serve you and your book. Play with it, rearrange it as you see fit — even during the writing.

Step 4. Write It Like a Novel

It’s as important in a memoir as it is in a novel to show and not just tell .

My father was a drunk who abused my mother and me. I was scared to death every time I heard him come in late at night.

As soon as I heard the gravel crunch beneath the tires, I dove under my bed.

I could tell by his footsteps whether Dad was sober and tired or loaded and looking for a fight.

I prayed God would magically make me big enough to jump between him and my mom, because she was always his first target…

Use every tool in the novelist’s arsenal to make each anecdote come to life: dialogue , description, conflict , tension , pacing, everything.

These will make sure you grab your readers’ attention and keep it — because these tools ensure that they’ll become engrossed in your story.

Worry less about chronology than theme.

You’re not married to the autobiographer’s progressive timeline.

Tell whatever anecdote fits your point for each chapter, regardless where they fall on the calendar.

Just make the details clear so the reader knows where you are in the story .

You might begin with the most significant memory of your life, even from childhood.

Then you can segue into something like, “Only now do I understand what was really happening.” Your current-day voice can always drop in to tie things together.

Character Arc

As in a novel, how the protagonist (in this case, you) grows is critical to a successful story. Your memoir should make clear the difference between who you are today and who you once were. What you learn along the way becomes your character arc .

Point of View

It should go without saying that you write a memoir in the first person . And just as in a novel, the point-of-view character is the one with the problem, the challenge, something he’s after. Tell both your outer story (what happens) and your inner story (its impact on you).

Setups and Payoffs

Great novels carry a book-length setup that demands a payoff in the end, plus chapter-length setups and payoffs, and sometimes even the same within scenes. The more of these the better.

The same is true for your memoir. Virtually anything that makes the reader stay with you to find out what happens is a setup that demands a payoff. Even something as seemingly innocuous as your saying that you hoped high school would deliver you from the torment of junior high makes the reader want to find out if that proved true.

Make ‘em Wait

Avoid using narrative summary to give away too much information too early. I’ve seen memoir manuscripts where the author tells in the first paragraph how they went from abject poverty to independent wealth in 20 years, “…and I want to tell you how that happened.”

To me, that takes the air right out of the tension balloon.

Many readers would agree and see no reason to continue reading.

Better to set them up for a payoff and let them wait.

Not so long that you lose them to frustration, but long enough to build tension.

Step 5. Avoid Throwing People Under the Bus

If you’re brave enough to expose your own weaknesses, foibles, embarrassments, and yes, even your failures to the world, what about your friends, enemies, loved ones, teachers, bosses, and coworkers?

If you tell the truth, are you allowed to throw them under the bus?

In some cases, yes.

But should you?

Even if they gave you permission in writing, what’s the upside?

Usually a person painted in a negative light — even if the story is true — would not sign a release allowing you to expose them publicly.

But even if they did, would it be the right, ethical, kind thing to do?

All I can tell you is that I wouldn’t do it. And I wouldn’t want it done to me.

If the Golden Rule alone isn’t reason enough not to do it, the risk of being sued certainly ought to be.

So, What to Do?

On one hand, I’m telling you your memoir is worthless without the grit. On the other, I’m telling you not to expose the evildoers.

Stalemate? No.

Here’s the solution:

Changing names to protect the guilty is not enough. Too many people in your family and social orbit will know the person, making your writing legally actionable.

So change more than just the name.

Change the location. Change the year. Change their gender. You could even change the offense .

If your own father verbally abused you so painfully when you were thirteen that you still suffer from the memory decades later, attribute it to a teacher and have it happen at an entirely different age.

Is that lying in a nonfiction book? Not if you include a disclaimer upfront that stipulates: “Some names and details have been changed to protect identities.”

So, no, don’t throw anyone under the bus. But don’t stop that bus!

• Common Memoir Mistakes

Making it too much like an autobiography

Memoirs aren’t a chronological history of everything that’s happened in your life. Make sure your theme is strong, compelling, and reader-focused. If the stories you include don’t speak to your theme, cut them.

Including minutiae

Use only the details that matter. Have a large family or circle of friends, only a few of whom were critical to your outcome? Leave most of them out. Avoid describing day-to-day experiences or descriptions unless they directly relate to your theme.

Your memoir isn’t the place for touting your achievements. You’ll turn readers off. Describe your challenges and emotional truths authentically. Own your successes but stay humble. Memoir is about the journey more than the destination.

Glossing over the truth

Writing a memoir will challenge you emotionally. It can be hard to revisit tough times or traumatic experiences — but unless you tell the whole truth, your readers won’t be able to relate and your story will fall flat.

How can you avoid sounding preachy or overbearing in your writing? Look for any time you use the words “must,” “should,” “ought,” or “have to,” and then find ways to reword your sentences using the Come Alongside Method to encourage, inspire, or suggest instead.

Affecting the wrong tone

Your memoir isn’t a place to be flippant, sarcastic, or condescending. You can be lighthearted at times, but use humor judiciously. Don’t try to cover up your emotional truth with lame jokes. Your story won’t feel authentic and your readers will lose interest.

• How to Start Your Memoir

Start slowly by setting the stage or explaining family dynamics and you’ll soon lose your reader’s attention.

Hook your reader from page one by beginning in medias res — in the middle of things. That doesn’t mean it has to be slam-bang action, but something must be happening.

Not sure exactly where to start ? No problem.

You don’t have to know the best beginning for your book in order to start writing — and you shouldn’t procrastinate indefinitely until you figure it out.

Instead, many memoir writers only discover their strongest potential opening as a last step. Decide what stories you’ll include, write those, and choose the best one once you see what you have to work with.

• Memoir Examples

Thoroughly immerse yourself in this genre before attempting to write in it. I read nearly 50 memoirs before I wrote mine ( Writing for the Soul ). Here’s a list to get you started:

• All Over But the Shoutin’ by Rick Bragg (my favorite book ever)

The Pulitzer Prize winning New York Times reporter tells the story of growing up dirt poor in Alabama with a father who had a “murderous temper” and a mother who went 18 years without a new dress to make sure her kids had a better life.

• Cultivate by Lara Casey

Part inspiration and part practical guide, Lara’s insight helps women who feel “inadequate, overwhelmed, and exhausted” to find grace through cultivating what matters most.

• A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

One of Hemingway’s most beloved books, this memoir provides a fascinating snapshot of his life as a writer in 1920s Paris.

• Out of Africa by Karen Blixen

Modern Library named this classic book, written in 1937, as one of the 100 best nonfiction books of all time. In it, Karen describes her experiences running a coffee farm with her husband in Kenya in 1914.

• Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt

The history of Frank McCourt’s “miserable Irish Catholic childhood” and how stories helped him to survive slums and starvation and ultimately thrive as a professional storyteller.

• Still Woman Enough by Loretta Lynn

In a much anticipated follow-up to her first memoir, Coal Miner’s Daughter , Loretta tells the story of the second half of her life. She writes about the stresses of fame and candidly discusses her often turbulent relationship with the husband she married at age 13.

• Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

A moving and insightful look into one of the greatest comedians ever — including Steve’s creative process, his incredible work ethic, and why he walked away during the height of his career.

• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Didion’s story of marriage, family life, and unexpected tragedy will touch anyone who’s ever loved and lost a spouse or child.

• This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff

After divorce splits his family, a young Toby Woolf runs away to Alaska, forges checks, and steals cars — then redefines his life.

• Molina by Benjie Molina and Joan Ryan

The story of a father who raised 3 famous major league baseball catchers and left a legacy of “loyalty, humility, courage, and the true meaning of success.”

• Undone by Michele Cushatt

Michele’s story of divorce, cancer, and integrating a new family shows readers how embracing faith and letting go of the need to control can lead to a vibrant life despite chaos and messiness.

• Will the Circle Be Unbroken? By Sean Dietrich

Sean’s story of love, loss, and the unthinkable gives readers hope for a future that breaks the destructive cycles of previous generations.

• Turn Your Life Story Into a Captivating Memoir

If you’ve ever thought about writing a memoir (or wondered if you should even try), you now have everything you need.

Think about your theme. What have you learned that could help others? How will you tell your stories to inspire your readers and change lives?

Brush up on the 7 essential story elements to make sure your memoir is as relatable as possible.

And once you’re ready to get started, head over to How to Outline a Nonfiction Book in 5 Steps .

Are You Making This #1 Amateur Writing Mistake?

Faith-Based Words and Phrases

What You and I Can Learn From Patricia Raybon

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How to Write a Book: Everything You Need to Know in 20 Steps

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The Complete Guide to Writing a Memoir

Writing your book doesn’t have to be a difficult, complex process..

Are you considering writing a memoir? You’re not alone. Many people want to share their life lessons and experiences through memoirs. However, writing a memoir can feel like a monumental task, especially when doing it alone. You need to navigate a whole world of design choices and printing options before your book finds its audience. Thankfully, self-published authors have abundant support and resources at their fingertips.

Palmetto Publishing is a comprehensive memoir-writing solution. We collaborate closely with authors to bring their literary dreams to life through tailored packages that include editing, cover design, formatting, distribution, printing, and more.

Despite the many tools available to help you publish a memoir, it can still be challenging — so if you’re wondering, “How do you write a memoir?” This guide is for you! It covers what a memoir is and isn’t and gives step-by-step instructions for writing a story people want to read. You’ll also learn more about how to publish a memoir and the options available to get it into your readers’ hands.

What is a Memoir?

A memoir is a personal narrative drawn from your life experiences. It tells the story of who you are, what shaped you, and the lessons you’ve learned. A memoir usually centers on a common theme and may focus on a specific period or challenge in the author’s life.

Memoirs are nonfiction, but the most engaging memoirs read more like novels. They recount events in vivid detail and convey strong emotional messages to the reader.

For example, in his Pulitzer-nominated memoir When Breath Becomes Air, author Paul Kalanithi recalls dealing with a terminal cancer diagnosis as a 36-year-old neurosurgery resident. In the best-selling memoir Educated, Tara Westover describes pursuing formal education after a minimally homeschooled childhood. Even Julius Caesar chronicled his journey in “Commentaries on the Gallic Wars,” dating back to around 50 BCE.

Some of the most insightful and impactful books ever published are memoirs. And some of the most life-changing true stories can compel even the most jaded reader. Autobiographies can be compelling, too, but memoirs are the personal stories that cut to the heart.

Memoir vs. Autobiography: What’s the Difference?

If you’re like many authors, you’ve asked yourself a fundamental question: isn’t a memoir just an autobiography?

Nope, they’re different.

While both share the idea of personal experiences, there are five key differences between the two.

An autobiography is a complete chronological account of the author’s life. It’s the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the author’s life journey. Memoirs, on the other hand, explore specific events or themes. They give authors more creative freedom and allow for subjective storytelling. The word “memoir” comes from the French term “memoire,” which means “memory.” This highlights the focus on personal recollection and interpretation.

Because autobiographies provide a chronological account of an author’s life, they’re more like panoramic images. They give a broad view of a person’s life while occasionally stopping to highlight key events and achievements. Memoirs are more like a snapshot in time, focusing on specific themes, experiences, or periods of the author’s life.

Autobiographies follow a linear structure, while memoirs often have a non-linear, fragmented approach. These structural differences can significantly alter the book’s narrative flow.

Another major distinction between memoirs and autobiographies is the emotional tone. Memoirs are full of emotions and create meaning from the past, while autobiographies typically have a more formal tone. Readers tend to connect with memoirs more personally because of the deep layers of emotion and meaning.

Readers who want factual information about an author are likelier to enjoy autobiographies. However, memoirs can attract readers who want personal connections or insights into an author’s life experiences.

Writing a Memoir Step-by-Step

You don’t have to be a bestselling author to write a memoir, but you’ll have an easier time writing if you’re purposeful in your approach. You’ll also craft a more successful book.

This step-by-step guide to writing a memoir will serve as your road map. Don’t worry about memorizing it — you can always bookmark this page or print it out for future reference. Right now, focus on visualizing your writing journey.

Step 1 Choose Your Theme

Memoir writers who get stuck usually have one thing in common. They sit down with the intent to “share their stories,” but they don’t have a clear focus. They try to say too much and go in too many different directions. This makes for a confusing book — or worse, an unfinished one.

A good way for a writer to start a memoir is to take the time to plan the theme. A well-crafted memoir needs a powerful, unifying theme to be engaging. A theme will give your memoir direction and help you choose the most impactful stories to include. Here are some questions to ask yourself before you begin writing memoirs.

• What emotions do I want to spark with my story?
• What message do I want to convey?
• What life lessons have I learned that others could benefit from?

Don’t worry if you can’t think of any unique or exciting life experiences. Some memoirs are powerful because they’re relatable to other “ordinary” people.

Maybe you’ve learned a lot from raising your children. Maybe you’ve learned important lessons from the relationships you’ve formed in your lifetime. These themes can make powerful and popular books.

Take the compelling memoir She Matters by Susanna Sonnenberg . This 2013 book focuses on the joy, pain, and power of female friendships. People of any gender can see their friendships in this book’s 304 pages. That’s what makes it powerful.

Step 2 Make a List of Anecdotes

Before you start actively writing a memoir, examine your ideas and identify the ones that strongly resonate with you and the theme of your book. Focus on choosing ideas that best serve the primary goal of a memoir: engaging in emotive storytelling. These chosen ideas are commonly known as anecdotes.

Anecdotes are brief, captivating narratives recounting real-life incidents or encounters. Often drawn from personal experiences, anecdotes illustrate or strengthen a discussion, speech, or book. Their purpose is to captivate the reader’s attention effectively.

Create a bulleted list, brainstorming web, or graphic to map out your anecdotes for your memoir. This approach will help you easily visualize and arrange the components in the most effective sequence to kickstart the writing process.

Step 3 Plan the Opening

Now that you have a list of anecdotes, it’s time to plan the opening. Your memoir’s opening is crucial because it sets the tone and hooks the reader from the very start. It’s your opportunity to make a lasting impression and convince readers to keep turning the pages. Here are some tips to help you write a captivating and engaging opening.

• Set the scene. Choose a captivating moment, scene, or event to draw readers into your story.
• Engage your readers from the first word. Your opening line should be attention-grabbing and leave the reader wanting more.
• Build emotion. Use vivid descriptions, details, and authentic emotions to create an experience that resonates with your audience.
• Open with a dramatic moment or a laugh. This can be an effective way to gain their interest and set the tone for the story that follows.
• Build trust with the reader. One of the best tips for memoir writing is to invite readers into your world and make them feel like they’re on your journey with you.

Step 4 Create an Outline

While the thought of writing thousands of words may seem overwhelming, these tips can ease you into the process and get you working through your first draft.

Write in manageable chunks. Break down your writing sessions into smaller, more achievable goals, aiming to write 500, 1,000, or 2,000 words daily. Dividing your work into smaller pieces can make memoir writing feel more manageable.

Create a writing schedule. Balancing writing with other commitments can take time and effort. Design a writing schedule that aligns with your existing responsibilities, helping you stay on track and accountable to completing your memoir.

Just write. Keep it simple. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself in the first draft. Remember, this is just the start, and it’s okay if your writing feels messy and disjointed. The key is to get your ideas down on paper. You can refine your writing later.

Step 5 Write Your Story

Once you have your story organized, start writing. The introduction to your memoir might flow easily at first, but many writers hit a roadblock when diving into the meat of the narrative. Don’t let this discourage you — stay confident in your story and crystal clear about the messages you want to convey.

You also don’t have to start at the beginning of your memoir. If you want to start with chapter four because it’s where you write about a life-changing moment, go for it. You have your outline to keep you on track, so trust it. This is the time to dive deeply into your story and make it as compelling as possible.

Here are some additional tips for writing a memoir that your audience will love.

Write Like a Novelist

The purpose of a memoir is very different from a novel. However, adopting a novelist’s approach can breathe life into your story. Novels engage people because they paint detailed pictures. You want readers to connect to your memoir in the same way. So, write it like fiction.

Most importantly, flesh out your “characters” — yes, they’re real people, but the reader doesn’t know them yet. Bring them to life and show the reader their mannerisms, appearance, and way of speaking.

The more vivid you are, the more readers will connect to the people in your story.

Show, Don’t Tell

This may be the most common advice in writing, but it bears repeating, especially for memoir writing. It’s easy to become the narrator of your life, but readers will engage more if they can see the scene unfold.

Instead of telling readers what happened, paint a picture. Imagine you’re watching a movie of your life and describing it. What did you see, hear, and do? Help the reader understand what it was like to live that experience.

Write Truthfully

When writing a memoir, it’s important to be honest and authentic. Don’t fictionalize events for the sake of drama or to build interest. Readers will connect with your story better if they sense your honesty on the page.

Add Others’ Related Stories

While your memoir is primarily about your own experiences, consider adding related stories from those involved in the events you’re writing about. This can add depth, context, and different perspectives to your story.

Get Vulnerable

Don’t hold back with memoir writing. To create a genuinely compelling and emotional story, be willing to be vulnerable and share your deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Writing a memoir is an opportunity to connect with people on a personal level. Your readers will appreciate your courage.

Talk About How This Affects Your Life Today

Memoirs aren’t just recounts of past events — they’re also explorations of how those experiences have shaped and impacted your life now. When writing memoirs, think about how the events you’re writing about have influenced your worldviews, relationships, and personal growth. Doing so can add depth to your memoir.

Create an Emotional Journey

Writing a memoir involves taking the reader on an emotional journey. Use your words to evoke various emotions, such as joy, grief, fear, and everything in between. Create scenes that will resonate with readers personally and help them experience the emotional highs and lows of your story with you.

Step 6 Read and Edit

When you’re finished writing a memoir, it’s time to read and edit to minimize errors and make sure it tells your story exactly how you want. Here are some tips for editing.

Set Your Draft Aside

After you write the last word, put your manuscript aside for a few weeks. Taking a break from your memoir will help you gain some distance and perspective so you can approach the next revision with fresh eyes.

Make Sure It’s a Story You Would Enjoy Reading

After setting your book aside for a few weeks, come back to it and read it through from beginning to end. While going through each chapter, put yourself in the reader’s shoes and answer the following questions:

• Are the anecdotes captivating and enjoyable?
• Is there a clear message or lesson for the reader to grasp?
• Do the stories flow smoothly and contain the right amount of detail?
• Are there unnecessary distractions bogging them down?

Put Your Personality Into It

Make sure your unique personality and voice shine through in your story. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives in a way that feels true to who you are. Embrace the characteristics and quirks that make you uniquely you.

Step 7 Have Someone Read It

Having other people read your book is an important step in any book-writing process . Authors are limited in how critical they can be of their own work, especially memoir writers. It’s the story of your life, and it’s impossible to read with a truly outside viewpoint.

After meticulously combing through your memoir, give it to someone else to read and review. Ask for feedback on spelling, grammar, and overall development. If possible, give it to someone with editing experience or a natural talent for writing to further refine your manuscript.

Once family and friends have read it, pass it along to an acquaintance, new friend, or stranger — someone who isn’t closely connected to you. Ask them to read it and tell you what worked, what didn’t, and what was confusing. While your story is your baby, accepting any constructive feedback is critical. These people could be your readers.

Now that your book has gone through several people for feedback, it’s time to pass your manuscript to a professional editor. This is where Palmetto Publishing comes in! Our experienced editors proofread and edit your manuscript, carefully reviewing its structure, tone, and textual flow to ensure a polished outcome. With a keen eye for detail, they can also thoroughly check for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors, resulting in a professional, high-quality manuscript ready to be published and printed.

Examples of Memoirs

Frequently asked questions, what is memoir writing.

Writing a memoir involves creating a story centered around your personal experiences, memories, and life events. It lets you, as the writer, explore specific moments, relationships, or themes from your life through an introspective lens.

What are the five parts of a memoir?

• Exposition: Introduces the setting, characters, and central theme.
• Rising action: Where the story builds tension and conflict.
• Climax: The moment with the most tension and drama, where the central conflict reaches maximum intensity.
• Falling action: Where the results of the climax take place.
• Resolution: Provides closure, personal growth, and transformation.

How do you begin to write a memoir?

Start by writing down any interesting personal experiences, relationships, or themes around which to focus your story. Then, brainstorm pivotal moments, vivid memories, and meaningful events to add to your memoir. Finally, create a loose outline to structure your story.

How can I combat writer’s block when writing a memoir?

• Try freewriting to get your thoughts flowing.
• Change your writing environment or routine to spark new inspiration.
• Try sensory exercises, like recalling certain sights, smells, or sounds from your experiences.
• Explore different writing prompts or exercises.
• Take a break and return to your writing with fresh eyes.

How to Publish a Memoir

You’ve poured your heart and soul into writing your memoir, meticulously planning, writing, and refining it to perfection. If your ultimate goal is to share your story with the world, your next step involves delving into the publishing world.

Publishing is the production and distribution of your book to the public for sale. There are two main paths you can take: Traditional and Self-Publishing.

Traditional Publishing

Many memoir writers dream of releasing their books through major publishing houses. Getting a book deal does come with bragging rights, but the reality is that many memoir writers will never have the opportunity.

Memoirs are hard sells for publishers, especially if you’re an unknown author. You might find a publisher who believes in your story, but there’s no guarantee. There’s a good chance the road will be paved with rejections. In fact, the Fiction Writer’s Mentor says that publishers accept only about 1% to 2% of manuscripts — and that includes manuscripts from proven authors. If your goal is to share your story with the world, self-publishing is a much stronger option.

Self-Publish With Palmetto Publishing

Self-publishing doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Palmetto Publishing is here to help with everything your memoir needs, including:

• Book interior formatting and cover design
• Book editing
• Book printing and marketing

As a top publisher, Palmetto offers professional book design services that give your memoir a polished look. From the book title page to the back cover, we’ll make sure it’s something you can be proud of.

We even offer book layout help and a user-friendly book layout guide. By the time you’re ready for book marketing, everything about your memoir looks professional. If you’re interested in writing a memoir, drop us a line — even if you haven’t started writing it yet. We know you have a powerful story inside you, and we’re ready to help you share it.

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63 Best Memoir Writing Prompts To Stoke Your Ideas

You’re writing a memoir. But you’re not sure what questions or life lessons you want to focus on.

Even if only family members and friends will read the finished book, you want to make it worth their time. 

This isn’t just a whimsical collection of anecdotes from your life.

You want to convey something to your readers that will stay with them. 

And maybe you want your memoir’s impact to serve as your legacy — a testament to how you made a small (or large) difference. 

The collection of memoir questions in this post can help you create a legacy worth sharing.

So, if you don’t already have enough ideas for a memoir, read on. 

A Strong Theme

Overcoming obstacles, emotional storytelling, satisfying ending, examples of good starting sentences for a memoir , 63 memoir writing prompts , what are the primary parts of a memoir.

Though similar to autobiographies, memoirs are less chronological and more impressionable – less historical and more relatable.

Resultantly, they’re structured differently. 

With that in mind, let’s look at five elements that tie a memoir together, rendering it more enjoyable.

Biographies are histories that may not hew to a cohesive theme. But memoirs focus on inspiring and enlightening experiences and events.

As such, books in the genre promote a theme or idea that binds the highlighted happenings to an overarching reflection point or lesson.

Many people are super at sniffing out insincerity, and most folks prefer candidness.

So while exact dates and logistical facts may be off in a memoir, being raw and real with emotions, revelations, and relational impacts is vital. To put it colloquially: The best personal accounts let it all hang out. 

People prefer inspiring stories. They want to read about people overcoming obstacles, standing as testaments to the tenacious nature of the human spirit. Why?

Because it engenders hope. If this person was able to achieve “x,” there’s a possibility I could, too. Furthermore, people find it comforting that they’re not the only ones who’ve faced seemingly insurmountable impediments.

Readers crave emotion. And for many of the stoic masses, books, plays, television shows, and films are their primary sources of sentimentality.

Historically, the best-performing memoirs are built on emotional frameworks that resonate with readers. The goal is to touch hearts, not just heads.

In a not-so-small way, memoirs are like romance books: Readers want a “happy” ending. So close strongly. Ensure the finale touches on the book’s central themes and emotional highlights.

End it with a smile and note of encouragement, leaving the audience satisfied and optimistic.

Use the following questions as memoir writing exercises . Choose those that immediately evoke memories that have stayed with you over the years.

Group them by theme — family, career, beliefs, etc. — and address at least one question a day. 

For each question, write freely for around 300 to 400 words. You can always edit it later to tighten it up or add more content. 

1. What is your earliest memory?

2. What have your parents told you about your birth that was unusual?

3. How well did you get along with your siblings, if you have any?

4. Which parent were you closest to growing up and why?

5. What parent or parental figure had the biggest influence on you growing up?

6. What is your happiest childhood memory?

7. What is your saddest or most painful childhood memory?

8. Did you have good parents? How did they show their love for you?

9. What words of theirs from your childhood do you remember most, and why?

10. What do you remember most about your parents’ relationship? 

11. Were your parents together, or did they live apart? Did they get along? 

12. How has your relationship with your parents affected your own love relationships?

13. Who or what did you want to be when you grew up? 

14. What shows or movies influenced you most during your childhood?

15. What were your favorite books to read, and how did they influence you?

16. If you grew up in a religious household, how did you see “God”? 

17. How did you think “God” saw you? Who influenced those beliefs?

18. Describe your spiritual journey from adolescence to the present?

19. Who was your first best friend? How did you become friends? 

20. Who was your favorite teacher in elementary school, and why?

21. Did you fit in with any social group or clique in school? Describe your social life?

22. What were your biggest learning challenges in school (academic or social)? 

23. Who was your first crush, and what drew you to them? How long did it last?

24. What was your favorite subject in school, and what did you love about it?

25. What do you wish you would have learned more about growing up?

26. What did you learn about yourself in high school? What was your biggest mistake?

27. What seemed normal to you growing up that now strikes you as messed up?

28. How old were you when you first moved away from home?

29. Who gave you your first kiss? And what do you remember most about it?

30. Who was your first love ? What do you remember most about them?

31. Was there ever a time in your life when you realized you weren’t straight? 

32. Describe a memorable argument you had with one of your parents? How did it end?

33. Have you lost a parent? How did it happen, and how did their death affect you?

34. What was your first real job? What do you remember most about it?

35. How did you spend the money you earned with that job? 

36. At what moment in your life did you feel most loved? 

37. At what moment in your life did you feel most alone?

38. What do you remember most about your high school graduation? Did it matter?

39. What’s something you’ve done that you never thought you would do?

40. What has been the greatest challenge of your life up to this point?

41. What did you learn in college that has had a powerful influence on you?

42. How has your family’s financial situation growing up influenced you?

43. How has someone’s harsh criticism of you led you to an important realization? 

44. Do you consider yourself a “good person”? Why or why not?

45. Who was the first person who considered you worth standing up for?

46. If you have children, whom did you trust with them when they were babies?

47. Did you have pets growing up? Did you feel close or attached to any of them?

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48. Describe someone from your past whom you’d love to see again. 

49. Do you have a lost love? If yes, describe them, how you met, and how you lost them. 

50. Describe a moment when you made a fool of yourself and what it cost you. 

51. What is something you learned later in life that you wish you’d learned as a child?

52. How do you want others to see you? What words come to mind? 

53. What do you still believe now that you believed even as a child or as a teenager?

54. What do you no longer believe that you did believe as a child or teenager?

55. When have you alienated people by being vocal about your beliefs? 

56. Are you as vocal about your beliefs as you were when you were a young adult ?

57. Are you haunted by the consequences of beliefs you’ve since abandoned? 

58. How have your political beliefs changed since you were a teenager? 

59. Have you ever joined a protest for a cause you believe in? Would you still? 

60. How has technology shaped your life for the past 10 years? 

61.Has your chosen career made you happy — or cost you and your family too much?

62. What comes to mind if someone asks you what you’re good at? Why does it matter?

63. How is your family unique? What makes you proudest when you think about them?

We’ve looked at the elements that make memoirs shine. Now, let’s turn our attention to one of the most important parts of a personal account: the opening sentence.

We’ve scoured some of the most successful, moving memoirs of all time to curate a list of memorable starting sentences. Notice how all of them hint at the theme of the book.

Let’s jump in.

1. “They called him Moishe the Beadle, as if his entire life he had never had a surname.” From Night, a first-hand account of the WWII Holocaust by Elie Wiesel

2. “My mother is scraping a piece of burned toast out of the kitchen window, a crease of annoyance across her forehead.” From Toast: The Story of a Boy’s Hunger, foodie Nigel Slater’s account of culinary events that shaped his life.

3. “Then there was the bad weather.” From A Moveable Feast , Ernest Hemingway’s telling of his years as an young expat in Paris

4. “You know those plants always trying to find the light?” From Over the Top: A Raw Journey of Self-Love by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s beloved star, Jonathan Van Ness

5. “What are you looking at me for? I didn’t come to stay.” From Maya Angelou’s masterpiece, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings , the story of persevering in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles

6. “I’m on Kauai, in Hawaii, today, August 5, 2005. It’s unbelievably clear and sunny, not a cloud in the sky.” From What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami, a memoir about the fluidity of running and writing

7. “The soil in Leitrim is poor, in places no more than an inch deep. ” From All Will be Well , Irish writer John McGahern’s recounting of his troubled childhood 

8. “The past is beautiful because one never realizes an emotion at the time.” From Educated , Tara Westover’s engrossing account of her path from growing up in an uneducated survivalist family to earning a doctorate in intellectual history from Cambridge University 

9. “I flipped through the CT scan images, the diagnosis obvious.” From When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, the now-deceased doctor’s journey toward mortality after discovering he had terminal cancer

10. “Romantic love is the most important and exciting thing in the entire world.” From Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton, a funny, light-hearted memoir about one woman’s amorous journey from teenager to twentysomething

Final Thoughts

These memoir topics should get ideas flooding into your mind. All you have to do, then, is let them out onto the page. The more you write, the easier it will be to choose the primary focus for your memoir. And the more fun you’ll have writing it. 

That’s not to say it’ll be easy to create a powerful memoir. It won’t be. But the more clarity you have about its overall mission, the more easily the words will flow. 

Enjoy these memoir writing exercises. And apply the same clarity of focus during the editing process. Your readers will thank you. 

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Blogs / Non-fiction / How to Write a Memoir: 10 Tips for Sharing Your Story

Perfect Your Storytelling

How to write a memoir: 10 tips for sharing your story.

What happens when a writer wants to tell a true story about themselves? They become the protagonist and fill the chapters with scenes from their own lives. They share their personal character arc and the life lessons it imparts. That is a memoir.

What is a Personal Memoir?

The term memoir comes from the French word “mémoire,” which means memory or remembrance, reflecting the personal and reflective nature of the genre. 

Memoirs can cover a wide range of topics, from childhood memories to professional accomplishments, and they often include emotional and introspective insights from significant moments, relationships, and events.

Memoir vs. Autobiography

A memoir focuses on a small slice, an event or series of related events, sometimes bound by theme, that have occurred in the writer’s life. They deliver a message. 

An autobiography is the whole pie. It’s a linear, usually chronological accounting of a person’s entire life, typically written by someone with fame or prominence. For example, someone who has a high profile within their realm or beyond like a movie star, a politician, an athlete, or even a criminal.

While we all like to think we’ve led interesting lives, it’s unlikely that interest would prevail beyond our circle of family and friends. But everyday people have tales that can and should be told.

What to Include in a Memoir

When deciding what to write about, consider the 5 W’s: Who/What/Why/Where/When. 

Who Am I Writing About? 

The obvious answer is you. Who makes up your cast of characters?  Friends, enemies, lovers, relatives, co-workers, your favorite teacher from sixth grade, the cop who arrested you, or the doctor who treated your cancer? 

What Statement Am I Making?

Being able to reduce your book’s point to a statement, belief, or argument gives you focus and helps you evaluate it for its potential resonance. If you’re looking for revenge by sharing someone’s dirty laundry, it’s best to rethink your strategy. 

A story about bringing someone else down rarely wins over the hearts of your readers. But if you want to illuminate the biggest life lesson you gleaned from your experiences to help others, by all means, write about it.

Why Am I Writing?

From an external standpoint, your “why” may involve recognition, validation, and income. These are all valid reasons. 

The internal “why” may be harder to pinpoint. It could range from wanting to share what you’ve learned, to spare people from suffering like you did, to telling a story that touches people and helps them understand their own lives better. 

Providing knowledge, comfort, encouragement, and inspiration to others appeals to our human need of finding meaning in the things that happen to us.

External Reasons:

• Gain notoriety
• Document family history
• Capture memories
• Establish my writing presence

Internal Reasons:

• Tell a personal story
• Discover the meaning of life
• Share knowledge
• Provide inspiration
• Validate myself as a writer
• Get healing through telling my story

Where Did My Story Take Place?

Even if you grew up in Chicago, you can’t take for granted that everyone knows what it’s like to experience life in the Windy City. 

A small town in Texas or a quaint village in the English countryside also require enough description for your reader to feel like they’re experiencing it with you, the beauty, the horror, and the quirks.

When Did This Happen?

Anchoring your story in a time frame is important for your reader. Whether you’re a child of the 70s or Generation Z, when your story takes place is important and you need to place your readers in that time. Were you a child, a college student, or about to retire? 

Writing a memoir does not involve inventing a world or characters out of thin air. It should be based on truth. However, truth is the eye of the beholder. 

Picture a crime scene. Police interview the witnesses. Each gives a different account. Why? They might be standing in different locations so what they could see varied from the others. Their perspectives may differ because one witness thinks the victim resembles the neighborhood bully from their childhood. Another thinks every stranger is a criminal. Their life experiences shape the way they view everyday occurrences. 

As we recall the events of our life, many things can color our memories like trauma, illness, prejudices, and even the simple passage of time. What did our memory choose to keep and why? This doesn’t mean we are being untruthful, rather, it is simply our version of the truth that we’re telling. Don’t feel constrained by your perspective. Embrace it.

How to Start a Memoir

Write what comes to mind. You can decide later what you’ll keep and what you’ll cut. Try to keep it related to the specific event, situation, or experience. Many memoir writing coaches suggest simply tapping into memories and writing them down. 

Some people like to write a long, detailed account of events while others jot down a few lines. Some like to produce snippets in chronological order while others write whatever comes to mind. What’s most important is to have enough content to choose from when forming your story. This doesn’t mean writing your life story. (Save that for when you’re making the talk show circuit celebrating your worldwide success.) 

Once you’re ready to write your first draft, begin by writing a simple summation of your story, just like you would for a novel. Develop a one-sentence premise of your memoir. Remember, make it about one specific situation and what you learned from it. 

If you’re having trouble, imagine writing a skeleton blurb for a novel. Who is the protagonist? You! What shook your world up? How did you respond? In what ways did your life change after going through this situation? 

Different Types of Memoirs

Now that you’ve gotten started, decide what kind of story you’re telling. Here are the more common types of memoirs:

• Traditional Memoirs: These are retrospective, recounting significant life events and providing a comprehensive exploration of the author’s experiences and emotions.
• Childhood Memoirs: These transport readers back to the author’s formative years, capturing innocence, challenges, and the profound impact of early experiences, tapping into the universal human longing to understand one’s roots.
• Coming-of-Age Memoirs: These navigate the tumultuous waters of adolescence, exploring themes of self-discovery, forming one’s identity, and the trials of growing up.
• Transformative Journey Memoirs: These delve into pivotal moments or journeys that changed the author’s life, resulting in personal transformation through travel, self-discovery, or overcoming adversity.
• Historical Memoirs: These intertwine personal experiences with historical events. Using a backdrop of wars, revolutions, cultural shifts, or other significant periods, authors share their perspectives using a unique lens through which readers can understand historical events.
• Confessional Memoirs: These are deeply personal and often raw stories revealing intimate details, vulnerabilities, and struggles, inviting readers into their emotional landscapes.
• Educational Memoirs: These combine personal stories with lessons learned. Authors share wisdom and insights gained from their experiences, aiming to offer inspiration or guidance to others.
• Retrospective Memoirs: These look back on a specific time or event in the author’s life, offering reflections, insights, and a sense of newfound understanding and closure.
• Thematic Memoirs: These memoirs weave together different stories and events from the author’s life to illustrate a central theme, such as love, loss, or betrayal. 
• Chronological Memoirs: These tell the story from start to finish, providing a linear narrative of the author’s journey for that portion of their life.

Within each of these types of memoirs, there is an external story and an internal story. The external story focuses on the events themselves, such as surviving war, abuse, or tragedy. The internal story reflects the growth of the character in response to those events.

What to Write a Memoir About

Consider these things when writing your memoir:

• Who is your book for: Having a target audience will help you focus on the message you want to share.
• Write with honesty and authenticity : Being vulnerable can make your story more relatable and compelling. Only you know what it was like to take your journey. Tell it with the emotion of the triumphs and challenges you experienced.
• Show, Don’t Tell : Though it might tempt you to merely lay out the events in a journalistic way, strive to show what happened with dialogue, vivid descriptions, and sensory details. Bring to life the people, places, and events as you experienced them.
• Character Development : Even if you are the only character in your story, you need to show who you are to your readers. Develop yourself and others in your memoir with depth, showing motivations, strengths, weaknesses, and growth.
• Prose : Pay attention to the craft of writing. Most memoirs are written from a first-person point of view in order to establish a connection with readers. It is possible to write from a third-person point of view, but it may create a more objective or detached perspective. It may be suitable if your story involves more than just you as the protagonist, such as siblings whose experiences are intertwined. You’ll also decide which tense to use. Be consistent. Watch your pacing and narrative flow.

What Is Good Memoir Structure?

While a memoir involves writing about personal events and recollections, the story still requires the same solid story structure as a novel. 

It’s true that in a novel there can be three points of view—the author, the perspective from which the story is told, and the main character or protagonist who lives the story. 

In memoirs, these three are one and the same. This presents a critical lesson: a memoirist must determine what they know and how they should reveal it to the reader.

Another important point to consider is that of truth. Remember that one person’s account may vary from another and yet remain truthful due to varying perceptions. You may not remember the exact words exchanged in a conversation, but the gist of the message should remain.

Memoir Writing Tips

Before getting to the structure, consider these tips:

• Narrow your focus: Remember, you’re not writing an autobiography. You’re focusing on one moment or series of moments around a theme.
• Write about more than the story: Yes, the focus is on an event or related events, but consider the other players—the characters, the time, and the setting. Share interesting facts about them in your writing to bring vivid details to life.
• Use fictional elements: While your memoir is a true story, you can and may need to embellish it, depending on how vivid your memory is. When focusing on other characters, locations, and dialogue, create intriguing details about them to evoke emotions in your readers. This will not compromise the integrity of your story; it will keep your reader mesmerized.
• Be careful with pacing: Determine the rhythm of your story. Some events may need more detailed exploration, while others can be summarized to maintain the flow.
• Have a narrative arc: Your memoir should have a clear beginning, middle, and end.

Memoir Structure

It makes sense to approach your memoir’s structure like that of a novel. It needs the following components:

• Opening Image: Start with a compelling hook or scene that establishes the setting, time, and key characters.
• Setup/Exposition: These scenes show what your ordinary world is like, setting the tone before changes come. It helps to establish what’s at stake for you.
• Inciting Incident: Introduce the main conflict that sets your story into motion. What happens that shakes up your world and causes you to react?
• Plot Point 1: At this stage, you know what your goal is, but you’re not thrilled about chasing it. Since you’re in reactionary mode, your actions may not be related to achieving the goal.
• Middle: The middle marks the point where you become proactive to the goal. This means you’ve learned the rules, and you can now make plans to go after the goal. No longer just accepting your fate, you’re finding the strength to deal with the obstacles in your path. How do you grapple with the challenges, make decisions, and demonstrate personal growth?
• Plot Point 2: It is the low point in your story where it seems all is lost. Have your efforts to reach your goal resulted in failure or brought more hardship? Were you lacking knowledge or had incorrect information that led you to make unwise choices?
• Climax: This is where you achieve (or fail to achieve) your story’s goal. The tension, conflict, and emotional upheaval reach their peak in this scene and offer your reader the payoff to the story’s promise. This is your moment of triumph, crisis, self-realization, or transformation.
• Resolution: Wrap up by reflecting on lessons learned, personal growth achieved, and the impact of the events on your life. You may offer insights or wisdom gained from your experiences.

Memoir Examples

Here are some highly regarded books which offer guidance on writing memoirs:

The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr

Mary Karr, a celebrated memoirist, shares her wisdom and experience in this book, offering theoretical insights and practical advice on crafting compelling memoirs while reflecting on her writing journey.

Writing the Memoir: From Truth to Art by Judith Barrington

This book provides a comprehensive guide to writing memoirs, covering topics such as memory, structure, voice, and revision.

Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir by Sue William Silverman

Sue William Silverman draws upon her own personal and professional experience to provide a practical guide for transforming life into words that matter. 

The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text for Writing & Life by Marion Roach Smith

This concise and engaging book emphasizes the importance of storytelling and personal voice in memoir writing.

Your Life As Story by Tristine Rainer

Tristine Rainer fills her book with examples from renowned writers and demonstrates techniques for crafting character portraits, remembering forgotten memories, unifying a story with thematic conflict, and employing fictional devices such as dialogue and humor.

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

A classic offering advice on writing and life, encouraging writers to take it one step at a time and to find humor in the process. It’s a valuable resource for writers of all genres.

Naked, Drunk, and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay by Adair Lara

Lara guides writers through the process of writing their stories with authenticity and courage, helping them to craft a narrative that resonates with readers.

Great Memoirs to Read

If you want to be inspired, here are some critically acclaimed memoirs to read:

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Walls’ memoir chronicles her unconventional upbringing by deeply dysfunctional parents, exploring themes of resilience, family, and forgiveness.

Educated by Tara Westover

This memoir tells the story of Westover’s self-transformation from growing up in a strict, isolated household in rural Idaho to eventually pursuing higher education at Cambridge and Harvard.

The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr

Karr’s memoir offers a candid and often humorous account of her turbulent childhood in East Texas, marked by her dysfunctional family and her own struggles with addiction.

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

This memoir is a touching tale of growing up Korean-American, dealing with family bonds, cultural identity, and grief.

H is for Hawk by Helen MacDonald

Part memoir, part nature writing, MacDonald’s book explores her experience of grief and healing following her father’s death, intertwined with her journey of training a goshawk.

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier 

A testament to the resilience of the human spirit, Beah’s story of his transformation from an innocent child to a child soldier during Sierra Leone’s civil war recounts his harrowing experiences.

Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp

A powerful narrative of Knapp’s love affair with alcohol, her struggle with addiction, and her courageous path to recovery.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Gilbert explores themes of spirituality, love, and the quest for inner peace on a year-long journey of self-discovery following a divorce.

Conclusion on Writing a Memoir

Writers are passionate about telling the stories they’ve created in their minds. Memoir writers have lived their stories and want to share their messages of hope and inspiration or perhaps experience a catharsis of their own. In any case, memoir is a valuable genre worth considering for any writer.

Home » Writing » Autobiography vs. Biography vs. Memoir

What is a Biography?

A biography, also called a bio, is a non-fiction piece of work giving an objective account of a person’s life. The main difference between a biography vs. an autobiography is that the author of a biography is not the subject. A biography could be someone still living today, or it could be the subject of a person who lived years ago.

Biographies include details of key events that shaped the subject’s life, and information about their birthplace, education, work, and relationships. Biographers use a number of research sources, including interviews, letters, diaries, photographs, essays, reference books, and newspapers. While a biography is usually in the written form, it can be produced in other formats such as music composition or film.

If the target person of the biography is not alive, then the storytelling requires an immense amount of research. Interviews might be required to collect information from historical experts, people who knew the person (e.g., friends and family), or reading other older accounts from other people who wrote about the person in previous years. In biographies where the person is still alive, the writer can conduct several interviews with the target person to gain insight on their life.

The goal of a biography is to take the reader through the life story of the person, including their childhood into adolescence and teenage years, and then their early adult life into the rest of their years. The biography tells a story of how the person learned life’s lessons and the ways the person navigated the world. It should give the reader a clear picture of the person’s personality, traits, and their interaction in the world.

Biographies can also be focused on groups of people and not just one person. For example, a biography can be a historical account of a group of people from hundreds of years ago. This group could have the main person who was a part of the group, and the author writes about the group to tell a story of how they shaped the world.

Fictional biographies mix some true historical accounts with events to help improve the story. Think of fictional biographies as movies that display a warning that the story is made of real characters, but some events are fictional to add to the storyline and entertainment value. A lot of research still goes into a fictional biography, but the author has more room to create a storyline instead of sticking to factual events.

Examples of famous biographies include:

• His Excellency: George Washington  by Joseph J. Ellis
• Einstein: The Life and Times  by Ronald William Clark
• Princess Diana – A Biography of The Princess of Wales  by Drew L. Crichton

What is an Autobiography?

An autobiography is the story of a person’s life written by that person. Because the author is also the main character of the story, autobiographies are written in the first person. Usually, an autobiography is written by the person who is the subject of the book, but sometimes the autobiography is written by another person. Because an autobiography is usually a life story for the author, the theme can be anything from religious to a personal account to pass on to children.

The purpose of an autobiography is to portray the life experiences and achievements of the author. Therefore, most autobiographies are typically written later in the subject’s life. It’s written from the point of view of the author, so it typically uses first person accounts to describe the story.

An autobiography often begins during early childhood and chronologically details key events throughout the author’s life. Autobiographies usually include information about where a person was born and brought up, their education, career, life experiences, the challenges they faced, and their key achievements.

On rare occasions, an autobiography is created from a person’s diary or memoirs. When diaries are used, the author must organize them to create a chronological and cohesive story. The story might have flashbacks or flashforwards to describe a specific event, but the main storyline should follow chronological order from the author’s early life to their current events.

One of the main differences between an autobiography vs. a biography is that autobiographies tend to be more subjective. That’s because they are written by the subject, and present the facts based on their own memories of a specific situation, which can be biased. The story covers the author’s opinions on specific subjects and provides an account of their feelings as they navigate certain situations. These stories are also very personal because it’s a personal account of the author’s life rather than a biography where a third party writes about a specific person.

Examples of famous autobiographies include:

• The Story of My Life  by Helen Keller
• The Diary of a Young Girl  by Anne Frank
• Losing My Virginity  by Richard Branson

What is a Memoir?

Memoir comes from the French word  mémoire , meaning memory or reminiscence. Similar to an autobiography, a memoir is the story of a person’s life written by that person. These life stories are often from diary entries either from a first-person account or from a close family member or friend with access to personal diaries.

The difference between a memoir vs. an autobiography is that a memoir focuses on reflection and establishing an emotional connection, rather than simply presenting the facts about their life. The author uses their personal knowledge to tell an intimate and emotional story about the private or public happenings in their life. The author could be the person in the story, or it can be written by a close family member or friend who knew the subject person intimately. The topic is intentionally focused and does not include biographical or chronological aspects of the author’s life unless they are meaningful and relevant to the story.

Memoirs come in several types, all of which are written as an emotional account of the target person. They usually tell a story of a person who went through great struggles or faced challenges in a unique way. They can also cover confessionals where the memoir tells the story of the author’s account that contradicts another’s account.

This genre of writing is often stories covering famous people’s lives, such as celebrities. In many memoir projects, the celebrity or person of interest needs help with organization, writing the story, and fleshing out ideas from the person’s diaries. It might take several interviews before the story can be fully outlined and written, so it’s not uncommon for a memoir project to last several months.

Memoirs do not usually require as much research as biographies and autobiographies, because you have the personal accounts in diary entries and documents with the person’s thoughts. It might require several interviews, however, before the diary entries can be organized to give an accurate account on the person’s thoughts and emotions. The story does not necessarily need to be in chronological order compared to an autobiography, but it might be to tell a better story.

Examples of famous memoirs include:

• Angela’s Ashes  by Frank McCourt
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings  by Maya Angelou
• Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S.  Grant by Ulysses S. Grant

Autobiography vs. Biography vs. Memoir Comparison Chart

Check out some of our blogs to learn more about memoirs:

• What is a memoir?
• 5 tips for writing a memoir
• Your memoir is your legacy

Ready to get started on your own memoir, autobiography, or biography? Download our free desktop book-making software, BookWright .

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25 best biographies of all time.

It can be challenging to determine the best biographies of all time .

Some of them feature a compelling storytelling or narrative voice. Others depict an eventful life full of intriguing developments. A portion of them also have a relatable style with overwhelming authenticity, which helps readers connect with the human they’re reading about.

The following biographies or memoirs stand out from the rest by being exceptional in any—or all—of the aforementioned elements.

They are extraordinary works that have, in many different ways, made a lasting impact on culture and could be the next engaging read you need.

by Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex

A tell-all written by the rebellious prince himself, Spare truly spares no detail portraying the intimate details of his struggle between love, duty, and pain at the heart of the Royal Family.

Leonardo Da Vinci

by Walter Isaacson

In the book Leonardo Da Vinci , Renowned American historian and journalist Walter Isaacson provides powerful insight into the life of one of humanity’s most notable geniuses by reading and studying Leonardo’s notebooks and written thoughts.

Once again, Isaacson ventures into studying the minds of prominent figures by releasing Elon Musk , an authorized biography of the noted business magnate covering his life, projects, and controversies up until the publishing date.

American Prometheus: The Inspiration for the Major Motion Picture OPPENHEIMER

by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin

Based on interviews, records, letters, and other exhaustive research, American Prometheus won the Pulitzer Prize for depicting J. Robert Oppenheimer’s life before, during, and after he becomes Death, destroyer of worlds.

by Michelle Obama

The life of America’s first African-American First Lady is a rollercoaster of struggle and success, meaning and accomplishment. With creative narrative choices and clever wordsmithing, Becoming has become one of the most celebrated autobiographies and even won a Grammy.

The Woman in Me

by Britney Spears

As the long-awaited autobiography of the Princess of Pop, The Woman in Me reveals the most intimate details of her life in her words. Direct, candid, and vulnerable, Britney exposes her life—from childhood to her fight for freedom.

In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom

by Yeonmi Park and Maryanne Vollers

In Order To Live is the harrowing yet inspiring memoir of Yeonmi Park, a human rights activist who escaped North Korea alongside her mother in 2007 at 13 years old. From fear to slavery, this is her journey towards freedom.

Diana: Her True Story

by Andrew Morton

Princess Diana continues to be admired, remembered, and beloved long after her untimely passing. But before becoming Lady Di, she was simply Diana—and there is no better way to learn about her than through her words in Diana: Her True Story book.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir

by Matthew Perry

Matthew Perry’s memoir exposes his soul—the good and the bad—as he deals with both friends and Friends, lovers along the way, and, of course, the Big Terrible Thing : his addictions.

Benjamin Franklin: An American Life

Benjamin Franklin had both a brilliant mind and an intriguing life. Benjamin Franklin’s biography explores his life, death, and achievements while unraveling the man behind the legend, the kite, and the lightning.

Einstein: His Life and Universe

Einstein is another emblematic biography by best-seller writer Walter Isaacson, focusing on one of humanity’s brightest minds and the tenacious curiosity that drove him to change the world.

Churchill: Walking with Destiny

by Andrew Roberts

British historian and journalist Andrew Roberts breathes new literary life into Prime Minister Winston Churchill’s figure and legend in the Churchill biography that reveals brand-new information through letters and transcripts of war cabinet meetings.

The Accidental President: Harry S. Truman and the Four Months That Changed the World

by A. J. Baime

An ordinary man in extraordinary circumstances, Harry S. Truman’s first four months in office took place right at the climax of World War II and its unraveling consequences, challenging who he was and who he wanted to become.

The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music

by Dave Grohl

The autobiography of one of the living rock legends, The Storyteller follows Dave Grohl from childhood to Nirvana, Foo Fighters, and everything in between through a collection of short stories.

Me: Elton John Official Autobiography

by Elton John

As seen on the screen in Rocketman, Elton John has had an electrifying and extraordinary life. In Me , he exposes his soul in his words—from his days as Reginald Dwight to now.

Greenlights

by Matthew McConaughey

Written by the Academy Award-winning actor after a self-imposed exile, Greenlights is equal parts a memoir and a philosophical journey through his perspective on life, hopes, and dreams.

A Promised Land

by Barack Obama

From his start as a young boy trying to find himself to his position as one of the most powerful men in the world, Barack Obama has seen it all. His presidential memoir A Promised Land shares some of that and his insights, thoughts, and analysis.

Yet another exceptional biography by Isaacson, Steve Jobs explores the revolutionary entrepreneur’s outer achievements and inner world, based on countless interviews.

An Autobiography Or The Story of My Experiments With Truth

by M. K. Gandhi

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was a man before becoming a world-class leader and symbol of peace. In his autobiography , he reflects on his beginnings until 1920 and the events that shaped his philosophy on leadership.

The Nazi Officer’s Wife: How One Jewish Woman Survived the Holocaust

by Edith Hahn Beer and Susan Dworkin

Originally published in 1999, The Nazi Officer’s Wife follows the life of Austrian Jewish Edith Hahn Beer amidst the horrors of Nazi control, her trials to avoid deportation, and the terror of living in fear of capture.

No Time Like the Future

by Michael J. Fox

Michael J. Fox is more than his Parkinson’s diagnosis. Renowned for his role as Marty McFly in Back to the Future, No Time Like the Future shares his insight on illness, health, mortality, and, ultimately, the will to live.

by Ron Chernow

Ulysses S. Grant is one of the most controversial figures in American history. Nonetheless, Chernow’s biography invites readers to discover the complexity and accomplishments beneath his tainted reputation.

Twelve Years a Slave

by Solomon Northup

Written in 1853, Twelve Years a Slave recounts Northup’s eponymous twelve years as an enslaved man—a Black man born free who was nonetheless kidnapped, sold, and forced into slavery.

Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption and Hollywood

by Danny Trejo

Upon its publication in 2021, Danny Trejo’s memoir became a best-seller. In it, he recounts his troubled childhood, early start into a life of drugs and crime, and eventual redemption and recovery in front of the screens.

Alexander Hamilton

Ron Chernow’s biography of Hamilton famously inspired Lin Manuel-Miranda’s acclaimed musical. It takes a deep dive into Hamilton’s life—his humble origins, ambitious ideas, scandalized fall from grace, and indispensable role as a Founding Father.

Fascinating Narratives For Fascinating Lives

Biographies and memoirs offer a treasure trove of engaging tales, insights, and sometimes even life lessons. They are a window into the lives of people who have—in many ways—lived lives worth sharing with others.

Although these books are among the best, this list is far from all-inclusive. From geniuses to artists and heroic tales of self-improvement, there are many other biographies that also offer a captivating insight into the beauty of the human experience, so don’t hesitate to choose them for your next read.

Did you know that in the United States, the publishing industry consumes approximately 32 million trees each year to produce books? Why not use BookScouter.com to buy your next read in used condition? Save money and support nature and green living!

For those stuck on their next book choice, see even more cool booklists on the BookScouter blog: Madeline Miller’s Books , The Bridgerton Books in Order , Must-Read Books for Your Vacation , and even the Hardest Books to Read for those who love reading challenges.

Elbana Bellorín

Elbana is a Venezuelan Magna Cum Laude graduate with a B.Sc. in International Affairs and a Master’s in International Law and Politics. With an academic affinity for grounded non-fiction and a heartfelt personal love for creative fiction, her intellectual pursuits and writing projects seek to conciliate both.

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Tiny Memoir Contest for Students: Write a 100-Word Personal Narrative

We invite teenagers to tell a true story about a meaningful life experience in just 100 words. Contest dates: Nov. 6 to Dec. 4, 2024.

By The Learning Network

Illustrations from Modern Love’s Tiny Love Stories , the inspiration for this contest.

Can you tell a meaningful and interesting true story from your life in just 100 words? That’s the challenge we pose to teenagers with our 100-Word Personal Narrative Contest, a storytelling form popularized by Modern Love’s Tiny Love Stories series .

After running this contest for two years, receiving a total of more than 25,000 entries, and honoring dozens of excellent miniature teen-written memoirs, we have discovered the answer is a resounding yes .

So, we challenge you to try it yourself.

We’re not asking you to write to a particular theme or to use a specific structure or style, but we are looking for short, powerful stories about a particular moment or event in your life. We want to hear your story, told in your unique voice, and we hope you’ll experiment with style and form to tell a tale that matters to you, in a way you enjoy telling it.

And, yes, it’s possible to do all that in only 100 words. For proof, just look at last year’s 15 winning entries . We also have a step-by-step guide full of advice that is grounded in 25 excellent 100-word mentor texts, as well as a rehearsal space , published for our first year’s contest, that has over 1,000 student-written mini memoirs. Because that space was so successful, we’re keeping it open for this year’s contest. We hope students will use it to get inspiration, experiment and encourage each other.

Take a look at the full guidelines and related resources below. Please post any questions you have in the comments and we’ll answer you there, or write to us at [email protected]. And, consider hanging this PDF one-page announcement on your class bulletin board.

Here’s what you need to know:

• Resources for Teachers and Students
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Submission Form

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In Moon Unit Zappa’s memoir, ‘Earth to Moon,’ famous names collide with family trauma

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Book Review

Earth to Moon

By Moon Unit Zappa Dey Street Books: 368 pages, $29.99 If you buy books linked on our site, The Times may earn a commission from Bookshop.org , whose fees support independent bookstores.

One night in 1979, 11-year-old Moon Unit Zappa falls asleep to the sound of her parents arguing. They argue plenty, so this isn’t unusual. Her father, Frank, is a musician and composer with a knotty, complex aural style and a seemingly insatiable appetite for sleeping with his fans. Her mother, Gail, helps him manage his business, and the two are often in conflict about money, other women or both.

But on this particular night, things spiral out of control. And after a few hours of sleep, as Zappa recalls in her new memoir, “Earth to Moon,” she’s awakened by her father standing over her bed saying, “Gail is on a rampage. I need you to hide the gun.”

The girl’s baby sister is asleep in her crib in the same room, and her two younger brothers have also been tucked in for the night. She had no idea that the family had a gun, let alone where it might be hidden. But she goes on a terrified midnight search for a firearm that may or may not have existed; she never ends up finding it. Fortunately, neither does her mother.

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These are the kinds of harrowing details that populate the early pages of Zappa’s book, which features plenty of parental neglect — “My feet are just starting to heal from the time two ladies were supposed to be watching me and my feet got burned on the radiator,” she recalls of an episode that occurred when she was about 4 — as well as outright abuse, including a story about her mother handcuffing her to her younger brother Dweezil and making them listen to a recording of their own crying.

Perhaps the most telling observation about the Zappa family’s particular dysfunction comes in the form of a brief observation that only Frank’s presence could stop his young kids from fighting. “Stopping is the only solution because you can’t take up too much of his time,” she writes, making it crystal clear that the man’s children were trained to understand that his music was always his first priority.

So it’s not surprising that Zappa seeks her father’s attention by offering to sing on one of his records. The resulting collaboration, “Valley Girl,” becomes a novelty hit that catapults her out of her father’s shadow and into a brief period of pop stardom at the age of 14.

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“Earth to Moon” is a Hollywood book through and through, studded with tales of the boldface names Zappa encounters throughout her life, including microwaving gas station burritos during high school lunch periods with Janet Jackson. But once “Valley Girl” is released, in 1982, the memoir starts to lose its steam and its candor. Zappa paints a heartbreaking picture of the childhood that shaped her, but she’s less specific and present as her story moves into adolescence and adulthood and she tries to figure out how to deal with her trauma.

“Earth to Moon” is drawn from the author’s diaries, and it sometimes feels more like a transcription than a transformation of that material. After a teenage Zappa lightheartedly recounts the story of the handcuffing incident to a talk show host, for instance, the host informs her during a commercial break that it is not a cute story; it’s child abuse. Zappa writes that at that point she hears “an all-hands-on-deck siren blaring inside” her. But the book doesn’t grapple further with the effects of that revelation.

The chapter immediately cuts to the following: “Then I found out Van Halen has broken up and disbanded. … The world feels positively upside down. If this amazing band can’t stay together, how can anything ever work out?” Next time we see Zappa, it’s a year later, and she’s working as an MTV veejay in New York.

The gaps and ellipses grow as the book speeds toward its conclusion. The introduction to “Earth to Moon” contains lessons Zappa has learned along the way, offering such koans as “The way out is through. Make peace with what hurts and head towards joy.” But it doesn’t ever demonstrate how or when she learned them.

Zappa’s father died of cancer at 52, in 1993, after which her mother took control of his estate. When she died, in 2015, she cut Moon and one of her brothers out of the family business . They receive money but have no control over their father’s name and no right to use it in their work.

It’s hard not to read “Earth to Moon” as Zappa’s attempt to resist that erasure, reclaim her place in her family’s story and insist on her right to tell her version of it. It’s a noble project but an incomplete reading experience. Ultimately, “Earth to Moon” comes across less as a book than as a plea from that wounded child, still searching for someone to see her and recognize that she’s in pain.

Zan Romanoff is a writer and the author of several novels for young adults.

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Moon Unit Zappa on the ‘emotional trauma’ of her childhood: ‘Is genius worth the collateral damage?’

Aug. 13, 2024

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The Black Widow of pool releases raw, emotional memoir. It was an honor to write it.

INDIANAPOLIS -- I sat at a rickety card table in the walk-in closet of my bedroom every night for nine straight months where a single, blaring, uncovered light bulb hung from the ceiling illuminating the 1980s-era cream and country blue wallpaper plastered behind makeshift shelves. The closet was stuffed with totes, suitcases and junk that should have been thrown out years ago.

This was no glamorous workspace to write my first book, some might call it distractingly chaotic, but to me it was calm, quiet and cozy with a tiny space heater at my feet, a candle lit by the computer and my mind taking me to places I had never been but needed to go.

I had to transform myself into Jeanette Lee, better known as The Black Widow of pool. I had to understand her, everything about her. I needed to be able to speak in her voice, with her words, her phrasing and her sincerity.

From that closet, I was writing her memoir .

From that closet, I went inside seedy pool dives and to glitzy billiards halls for championship matches. I went to the desolate fields of South Korea to meet a father who had abandoned me. I stood on the podium of the World Games wearing a gold medal around my neck and was forced into a bedroom as a child to be kissed by a guy who was supposed to be an old family friend.

I sat ashamed in middle school, taunted and teased as I wore a full-body, monstrous clunky brace for the severe scoliosis that had attacked my spine. To numb the pain, I stole cigarettes from my grandfather and hung out the window of my shoddy New York City apartment to hide the smell from my parents.

I cut my arms as a teen and ran away from home too many times to count, crashing on the couches of whatever friend's parents would take me in. I got my first glorious taste of cocaine and then fell in love with pool, became addicted to green felt tables and cue sticks and became the No. 1 women's pool player in the world.

Then at the age of 49 the world around me crashing in, I sat terrified in a hospital room listening to a doctor saying the scariest two words I had ever heard, terminal cancer. I sat even more terrified inside my living room as I told my three daughters that mommy had Stage IV ovarian cancer.

My closet is where I turned from sports journalist to book author, where I took to heart every minute, every hour, every day, week, month and year that Lee had lived. It is where Lee and I had countless hours upon hours of Zoom interviews.

It is where I sat typing, deleting and typing some more, trying to understand, to feel, to empathize, to grasp what it was like to be a beautiful Korean American woman who fought and battled and struggled and persevered to become the greatest women's pool player of the modern era.

The weight of the task took its toll inside that closet, where I sometimes cried, wondering how I could do justice to a person like Lee in one book? How could I tell the entire story of a woman who is one of the most incredible female athletes of the past 50 years and not miss something?

But this was my task. I was the co-author of Lee's memoir, helping her to finally tell the raw and painful story of a misunderstood woman who hid behind red lipstick, high heels and see-through, revealing black clothing with confidence that could have won her an Academy Award.

No one knew that after annihilating the women on the pool circuit, Lee would go back to her hotel room and cry at the way they treated her. She was this beautiful sports icon who ESPN latched onto, airing her matches on Saturdays so the men would swoon. She was a woman with the world at her feet and with hands that had the golden touch.

But in reality, Lee was nothing more than an insecure woman who wanted to be accepted. She still fights to be accepted. She is one of those humble, insanely talented, human beings.

" The Black Widow: A Memoir," hits bookshelves today. Here are five of my favorite passages from Lee's memoir.

Becoming a monster

The wicked curve of my spine was discovered on a hot, summer afternoon at Long Beach Island, where the sun was glistening, the sand was white, and a perfect breeze blew on our faces. My mom had taken the day off work to spend a glorious day at the beach with us, which was wonderful, and a bit shocking at the same time.

My mom never missed work unless it was for a very good, logical reason, like an important appointment or a funeral. Frivolities weren’t really part of our lives but, on occasion, my mom would make time for them. And on this day, she had taken Doris and me to the ocean.

As I took off my shirt that day at the beach, revealing my skinny, 13-year-old body in a swimsuit, that’s when my mom saw it. She saw the curve in my back. I had just started running toward the water when I heard her scream. “Come back here, Jeanette. Come back here.” The ocean would have to wait for a new insecurity to wash over my body.

My mom stood in the sand, and she pulled me close to her. She put her fingers on my back, and she ran them up and down my spine. I stood there and watched Doris splashing in the waves, as my mom told me to bend over and stand up. Bend over again. Stand up again.

“Walk in front of me,” she said sternly. “Now, stand still.” As my mom looked at my thin body from behind with bones protruding, she knew. She was a nurse, after all. My mom didn’t say the word “scoliosis” to me that day. Thatawful word would come later from doctors, who were stunned that I was even able to function with a spine as crooked as mine.

Always an outcast

I would go home after school to a towering co-op apartment building in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn where I grew up, where almost all the families were Black. I was so jealous of those girls with their bodies that curved. I would sometimes wear two or three leggings under my jeans to make my thighs look thicker, and put socks in my bra to look bustier.

I was so skinny, so concave. When I put my feet together, you could see a gap between my thighs. I would walk into my homeroom in seventh grade and hear the chants, “Fall into the Gap,” like the Gap commercialjingle at the time. There were rumors that I was a slut, and that I had the gap between my thighs because I was having sex with all the boys.

At home, I hated my parents’ rules and the strict regimen. After I took a bath or shower, I was required to get down on my knees and scrub the tub. There was a time set to get homework done, brush my teeth, and go to bed. Sleeping in wasn’t allowed, even on Saturdays when there was no school, and I loved sleeping in.

I remember as a teenager being so angry and frustrated, and screaming, “Mom, why won’t you just leave me alone?” She told me I was wasting my life away in my bed, that I needed to be awake when the world was awake. I ran away too many times to count, crashing on couches of whatever friend or teacher would take me in. I smoked cigarettes and marijuana, and I tried cocaine and acid.

I took needles and jabbed them into my lobes making homemade pierced ears. I took a razor blade once and cut my forearm repeatedly so that a friend and I could be blood sisters. It took 28 slashes before my forearm started bleeding. I thought maybe my close friendship with her would make life better.

But nothing made life better. Nothing, it seemed, would ever take away the loneliness of feeling like an outcast

Hated by the women: 'Pretty doesn't make the ball fall in'

One day, I went to my mailbox and found a package from one of the top women players on the tour. I couldn’t believe it. Maybe I was wrong about the way they felt about me. I tore into that padded envelope, only to find the gift was a copy of the Dr. Seuss book "Yertle the Turtle."

Inside, on the cover page, was a handwritten note from a player I won’t name: "I think you will connect with this book. I think you will connect with Yertle."

In the book, Yertle is a self-absorbed creature, obsessed with being the loftiest turtle in the kingdom. He eventually demands that other turtles stack themselves beneath him, so he can sit atop the highest throne. As he revels in glory, the turtles beneath him, holding him up, are in pain.

That book was about how you step on people, without any compassion, to get what you want. When I got that package, I realized that’s what the women thought of me, that I was only out for myself.

“The difference between Jeanette and me,” Allison Fisher would say, “is Jeanette always wanted to be known as the most well-known player in the world, and I wanted to be known as the best player in the world.”

Allison was wrong. It was never about being well-known or famous. Those women misunderstood me. I didn’t care about Jeanette Lee getting notoriety. I wanted to be the best in the world just like they did. It had nothing to do with fame. I just had this deep love, this raging passion to play pool.

'The men: They sexualized me, mentored me, gave me humility'

On Comedy Central's "The Man Show" in 2003, as I trounced Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla on the table, they took breaks drinking beer, watching me as they pretended to read books on how to pick up hot Asian chicks. I didn’t back away. I kept up with the act. And I showed them just how good I was.

"You bitch,” they said as I hit a winning shot.

“You told me not to touch your balls,” I said, knowing exactly what I was saying. “So, I didn’t.”

Kimmel and Carolla poured talc powder down their pants, saying they needed to “chalk” their cues, and ate pretzels. They called me “honey” and told me to get them beers. Then, when my skills at the table had done all the talking, they finally acknowledged they could never beat me at pool.

“You know what?” Kimmel said to me. “This is ridiculous. You really want to play some pool? You want to play pool my way?"

“I’ll play pool any way,” I told him. The show ended with me lounging in a swimming pool, wearing a black bikini, as Kimmel told me the entire gig was a diabolical scheme to get me into fewer clothes.

'Was it time for The Black Widow to die?'

The odds were dire. I was 49 years old, and it was almost certain I wouldn’t make it to my 50th birthday. But for some reason, I didn’t listen to the prognosis or the odds, not even when I was told that my cancer meant a less than 15 percent chance of surviving more than two years.

What did odds really mean anyway? I had beaten the odds so many times before. I was, after all, an outcast, a high school dropout and runaway teen who had conquered the world of pool. I had overcome racism, scoliosis, feelings of abandonment since my parents’ divorce, and shame — and, more than that, a lifetime of surgeries and chronicpain from ankylosing spondylitis and fibromyalgia.

As that unwelcome opponent named cancer came demanding a match in January 2021, I was bound and determined to overcome again.

“Jeanette is the fiercest, most competitive player I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t back down and she doesn’t give up. And she took that fighting spirit from the pool table into her battle with cancer.” — Don Wardell, Lee’s longtime physician and friend

"The Black Widow: A Memoir" is $30 and available for purchase at Amazon , Walmart and Barnes & Noble .

Follow IndyStar sports reporter Dana Benbow on X: @DanaBenbow. Reach her via e-mail: [email protected]  

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Liza Minnelli Announces New Tell-All Memoir: 'Kids, Wait ‘Til You Hear This' (Exclusive)

"Until this book arrives, know that I'm laughing, safe in every way, surrounded by loved ones and excited to see what’s right around the curve of life," the iconic performer said

 Liza Minnelli wearing her iconic Elsa Peretti Bone Cuff jewelry, Courtesy of Tiffany & Co. Archives

Iconic stage and screen star Liza Minnelli has a memoir coming out! 

Grand Central Publishing announced, exclusively with PEOPLE, that the Oscar winner, 78, will release her memoir in spring 2026. 

Written in collaboration with Pulitzer Prize winner Heidi Evans and Los Angeles Times alum Josh Getlin, the book will offer an intimate look into Minnelli's life from her early childhood as the daughter of the late Judy Garland to her rise to fame in the hit musical Cabaret . 

Hulton Archive/Getty

It will also cover her high-profile marriages , struggles with substance abuse and more. 

"Since I was old enough to put pencil to paper, people asked me to write books about my career," Minnelli says in a statement shared with PEOPLE. "'Absolutely not! ‘Tell it when I’m gone!’ Was my philosophy," the star adds.

However, a "series of unfortunate events" changed her mind when it comes to writing about her "life, loves and family."

Those included, as Minnelli puts it, "a sabotaged appearance at the Oscars," "a film with twisted half-truths " and "a recent miniseries that just didn’t get it right ... All made by people who didn’t know my family, and don’t really know me."

"Finally, I was mad as hell!" the star continues. "Over dinner one night, I decided, it’s my own d--- story … I’m gonna share it with you because of all the love you’ve given me."

Tony winner and Minnelli’s longtime friend Michael Feinstein is also a collaborator on the memoir and will "highlight Minnelli’s most significant contributions to the American Lexicon," according to a statement. The audio edition of the book will include never-before-heard autobiographical recordings from the last 15 years.

"I turned to my most beloved friend, Michael Feinstein and yelled: 'Help!'" Minnelli says. "We’ve been joined at the hip for 40 years. As Ambassador of the Great American Songbook and my absolute favorite collaborator. Michael’s one of the greats, he’s razor-sharp and he tells the truth. That’s important because, as I fly towards my eighth decade of living, memories differ."

The musical icon also shared kind words for her publisher, noting that when she met with Grand Central Publishing, "we fell in love." She continues, "This tome has a unique place in history. Most of you don’t know how far back we go. The Minnellis have been in show business for literally hundreds of years!"

With a wink toward lyrics from the popular song “Maybe This Time” from Cabaret , Minnelli proclaims that now, "after incredible events and life-threatening battles … I am truly 'Lady Peaceful, Lady Happy.'"

"Thank you all for loving me so much ... being concerned about me," she continues. "I want you to know I’m still here, still kicking a--, still loving life and still creating. So, until this book arrives, know that I'm laughing, safe in every way, surrounded by loved ones and excited to see what’s right around the curve of life. Kids, wait ‘til you hear this," Minnelli said.

For over six decades, Minnelli has wowed audiences with her performances on the stage and screen. She made history at the age of 19 when she was named the youngest woman to ever win a Tony Award for her role in the 1965 Kander and Ebb musical Flora the Red Menace . 

Minnelli later won an Academy Award for her performance in the movie adaptation of the stage musical Cabaret , in which she starred as Sally Bowles. The role is often credited as her breakthrough. 

The performer is one of the few who have achieved EGOT status , winning an Emmy Award, Grammy Award, Oscar Award and a Tony Award. She nabbed an Emmy for her concert film Liza with a Z and a Grammy Legend Award in 1990. 

Her other popular screen credits include starring in Martin Scorsese’s New York, New York , the romantic comedy film series Arthur , and the satirical sitcom Arrested Development . 

Earlier this year, Minnelli spoke exclusively to PEOPLE about celebrating her 78th birthday.

"I am so grateful for all the good wishes and all the love that comes my way. Not only on my birthday, but always. I wish I knew how to act my age," she said. "But kids guess what, I have never been this d--- old! Just keep going baby, that’s the secret!"

The book will be published in hardcover print, e-book and audio editions in the spring of 2026.

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Anna Marie Tendler Is Not Crazy, But She Is Mad

The artist and photographer on writing her first memoir and why more men should be reading books by women.

Anna Marie Tendler is many things: a fine art photographer, a Victorian lampshade designer, a hair and makeup stylist, a beauty blogger, and now, a published author. “My original pitch wasn’t for a memoir but for a coffee-table book of photography with a few personal essays,” Tendler tells W from her whimsical country home in Connecticut. “Reimagining it as memoir was my editor’s idea, and though I was nervous, I knew it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.”

The book, in Tendler’s words, is about mental health and womanhood, as well as “the endless source of my heartbreak and rage—men.” Men Have Called Her Crazy spans late 2020 to 2023, focusing primarily on Tendler’s two-week stay in a psychiatric facility. Tendler, then 35 and in the throes of an increasingly public divorce from comedian John Mulaney, followed the advice of her therapist and sought intensive treatment for suicidal ideation, self-harm, and disordered eating. Interspersed between anecdotes from art therapy sessions and movie nights with the other women in the hospital are flashbacks to Tendler’s romantic past. The several unhealthy and, at times, illegal relationships with men shed light on her enduring mental health struggle, foregrounding their respective contributions to her insecurity, anxiety, and paranoia.

Men Have Called Her Crazy offers an original portrait of a woman who’s reached the apex of her rage against the patriarchy, a field guide to contemporary mental health practices, and a moving testament to the possibility of growth and healing. Below, Tendler opens up about her writing process, her current favorite recipe, and the album she can’t stop listening to on repeat.

Did the process of writing the book change your relationship to the experiences you were writing about?

It did: a lot of the anger dissipated from them. One of my big goals for the book was to write about the things that made me angry but to write about them in a constructive way. I tried to think: what’s the most constructive language, framing, or way of showing both sides of this scenario? I also believe that stuff gets stored in your body, and being able to get it out can be very helpful.

Was it a therapeutic process, then?

Yes, definitely. I have a real inferiority complex about my work, which I think other women can relate to. From a young age, I never felt smart; I always had to qualify my intelligence and prove that being aesthetically minded didn’t make you frivolous. The process of writing the memoir proved to me that I was smart, capable, and able to achieve a lot more than I’d previously thought possible.

Did you read any other memoirs in preparation for writing your own?

Honestly, not really. I didn't want to pick anything up inadvertently. I felt like if I read something that I loved too much, it would trigger my perfectionism and make it even harder for me to write. The only memoir I reread was Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen because I wanted to see how she handled writing about the people she was in the hospital with. Other than that , Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, and Rivka Galchen's Everyone Knows Your Mother Is a Witch , I pretty much stopped reading until I finished writing.

Speaking of witchcraft, did you have a writing ritual?

Because of everything going on in my life at the time, I had to be really flexible with my schedule. But before I sat down to write, I’d always cleanse my desk, computer, and body with palo santo or sage from an Indigenous beader who sells beautiful jewelry through her company, Three Sisters by Emma .

Can you tell me a little about your interest in magic and astrology?

I pull tarot cards weekly, if not daily. I see a tarot card reader, know my birth chart, and keep up with astrology. That said, I don’t think these things predict the future. I use them as tools for self-reflection, and feel they bring me calm and peace.

Is there anyone in that space whose work you’re particularly drawn to?

I look for people whose approach is similarly grounded, like Chani Nicholas . I also really like Jessica Dore’s work. She's a licensed social worker who does tarot and has a book called Tarot for Change . She also has a really well-researched and thoughtful newsletter called Offerings, which I read every Sunday.

What other forms of media do you like to consume?

Reality TV! I love the Real Housewives . When I'm not working, I want to turn my brain off; reality TV is the best way to do that.

How about films? Do you have any all-time favorites?

I could watch Lady Bird over and over again. It’s a perfect movie without a single misstep. My favorite movie is The Royal Tenenbaums. I also love Martin Scorsese's first film, After Hours , which was made in 1985 and starred Griffin Dunne and Rosanna Arquette.

Are there any directors that you go to for inspiration or when you’re in a rut creatively?

Park Chan-wook. His movies' art direction and production design are incredible, and most of it’s done by Ryu Seong-hie, who he’s worked with since Old Boy in 2003. She’s amazing! I also love the aesthetics of Wong Kar-wai's In the Mood for Love ; it’s one of the most beautifully filmed movies you will ever see. And more recently, Marie Kreutzer’s Corsage .

There are quite a few musical references throughout your book. What’s your relationship to music?

I usually always have it playing unless I’m working, and then I need absolute silence. Waxahatchee's [2020] album Saint Cloud was sort of the background track to the book. I listened to that a lot after I got out of the hospital, and then while I was finishing writing, I was listening to Pinegrove. I get obsessed with an album, which becomes the only thing I can or want to listen to. Phoebe Bridgers’s Stranger in the Alps is another album like that, and more recently, Rosalía’s Motomami .

Is there anything else you wish you could share or recommend?

Honestly, my final wish would be for men to consume more media by women: art, music, books, and movies. I recently saw a meme of an old Jeopardy picture where the whole board was cleared except for Historical Women, and of course, the contestants were three men. It would change the world immediately if every man sat down and read a few books by women.

Think about the instant increase in empathy! What would be the one book or series you’d assign them?

Definitely My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante for the book, and Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You for the series.