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The Book Newly Sober People Love to Give to Each Other

When she was 35 and working as a marketing executive, Annie Grace was also drinking two bottles of wine a night. She’d taken breaks from drinking to have children, and she was able to abstain during the work week if she wanted to, but she still felt like alcohol played an outsize and destructive role in her life. And so she did some research, changed how she thought about drinking, and stopped entirely. Grace then wrote a book for others interested in doing the same thing: This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life . The book works “by ending the conflict between your conscious desire to drink less,” she writes, “and your unconscious belief that alcohol is beneficial.” It came out in 2015 and has become something of a word-of-mouth phenomenon since (a recommendation from a friend is how I found out about it, too). The book’s Amazon and Goodreads review sections are populated with comments like: “This is probably the most important book I’ve ever read,” “This book has SAVED MY LIFE ,” and “I bought this book by accident. It has changed my life more than any other book, therapy, counselor, class, doctor, or addiction specialist ever did, combined.”

Concrete numbers are hard to come by, but Grace has estimated that she’s helped somewhere in the realm of 4,000 people stop drinking. More than 50,000 people are currently enrolled in her online programs, and Grace eventually left her marketing job to run the website This Naked Mind and its weekly podcast (with roughly 1.6 million total downloads). Late last year, Grace, now 40, followed This Naked Mind with her second book, The Alcohol Experiment , a “30-day alcohol-free challenge to interrupt your habits and help you take control.”

I stopped drinking myself a few years ago, although I liked her books so much I almost wished I hadn’t, to see if they could help me change my mind all over again.

Why do people like alcohol? I think it’s a huge cultural thing. From a very young age, when our parents present it as something that we can’t have ‘til we’re adults, it turns up the allure like 100 thousand percent, and suddenly we absolutely want it. And then we see everybody doing it, because it’s been so ingrained in our society. And then I think it’s really confirmed by our own experience, because alcohol, when you first drink it — alcohol is an interesting substance, in that it’s both a stimulant and a depressant. And so for the first 20 to 30 minutes after we drink it, it acts as a stimulant. It gives us that tipsy, euphoric, kind of high feeling: It artificially stimulates our pleasure systems, and it feels good. That’s pretty quickly countered when our blood alcohol content goes down, at which point it becomes a depressant. Those mood swings don’t feel good, but we don’t necessarily associate them with alcohol, and so we think, “Oh, it was a stressful day” or whatever, and we reach for the next glass.

I think this whole cultural thing is very much confirmed by the neurochemical addictive quality of the substance. Any addictive substance is going to stimulate a pleasure part of your brain and artificially release high levels of dopamine. Dopamine’s a learning molecule, and it says, “Do that thing again.” And it becomes very quickly a habit that’s ingrained.

In your opinion, what would be the ideal cultural role that alcohol might play in 20 years or 50 years? Or, what would be a long-term goal of your work? I think for people to just have a more mindful approach. And maybe we take baby steps. Obviously it would be amazing if we looked at alcohol the way we look at cigarettes, where we’re aware of the negative health implications before we’re told it’s fun — sort of like how the first thought we have now about cigarettes, now, is that they’re not healthy. That would be amazing, but I think that’s a little too long term, realistically.

I think just in the shorter term, and I’m very hopeful we can get there, very quickly, is to make it so that you’re not set apart if you don’t drink, or if you question your drinking. Questioning your drinking is as simple and easy as questioning your sugar intake, or questioning how much you’re going to go to the gym. “Would I be a bit happier not drinking?”

This ties in to the conversation around the word “alcoholic,” which is sort of a delicate topic but which I know can put people off. It put me off for a long time. Yeah. Because in our culture, if we question our drinking, the main question is: Am I an alcoholic? Or: Do I have a problem? And those are, for me, very fear-based questions that can inhibit growth.

And so often we’ll just keep drinking until something really bad happens. But I think a goal would be for us, culturally, to be able to ask a simple question: Would I be happier drinking a bit less alcohol? And to be able to ask it at any point, without any judgment, without inner judgement, without the inner fear, and certainly without any cultural or societal judgment.

I really like that idea of questioning alcohol intake in the same way we’d question our sugar intake. I do think an alcohol problem manifests a lot like type 2 diabetes. Type 1 diabetes is the kind you’re born with: From birth, or from whenever, you know you’re going to have to take insulin no matter what. But type 2 is the kind that develops as you expose yourself to a certain amount of toxins — sugar — over a period of time. And so you develop symptoms, and then you have to take insulin no matter what. I think an alcohol problem manifests like the one where you expose yourself to the toxin.

Because nobody is going to become alcoholic if they never have a drink of alcohol.

I think, on one hand, the term “alcoholic” can be very empowering. I have a very good friend, she’s sober with AA, and she came to the realization that she was an alcoholic. That realization for her was incredibly empowering, because then she knew she could not drink again in safety, and it gave her the entire foundation for her to build her sober life upon. And it’s a thing that she’s very tied to — that term, because she considers the fact that she can say, “I am an alcoholic,” one of the cornerstones that saved her life. And so it’s very important and powerful for her.

I think the harm comes when we use the term “alcoholic” in society in general. That same friend came up to me and was like, “Annie, I have learned this about myself, and you’re just not an alcoholic.” And she categorized my drinking as slightly different than hers, because I wasn’t necessarily doing some of the same things she was doing. And because I could take a break from drinking, like when I had a baby. But she was like, “Annie, you’re not an alcoholic.” And I really took that to heart. And that made it harder for me to quit drinking, ultimately.

Is there a clinical definition of alcoholism? According to the CDC, for excessive drinkers — so for women that’s eight drinks a week — only 10 percent of them actually fit the specification of being clinically addicted to alcohol. So if we’re going to use the term alcoholic, only 10 percent of heavy drinkers fit that alcoholic designation . Whereas for the other 90 percent, the alcohol dependence certainly involves some physical aspects, but it’s much more of an emotional and psychological addiction.

In other words, a much bigger percentage of our population, beyond those who fit that classical designation of “alcoholic,” are struggling with alcohol. And for that large percentage, they’re still on the path to addiction, they’re still even on the path to physical addiction, but they’re kind of on the sideline. It’s kind of like — well, to make a really bad analogy, if you’re becoming obese, obesity itself is a symptom, although you have to have a heart attack in order to get treatment. Or you have to be diagnosed with diabetes before you become treated.

I know you’ve written more about how the word “alcoholic” can act as a barrier for some people. They’re like, “Well, I know I’m not an alcoholic, because I don’t look like what we typically see on TV, etc., as alcoholics, so maybe rehab and AA aren’t necessarily for me, but at the same time, I’m still concerned about what’s going on.” And it’s that middle path that isn’t necessarily clear. Yes. The definition of alcoholism also focuses the effort of sobriety on a minority of excess drinkers while ignoring millions who also really struggle with drinking.

Another aspect of this is that it gives people a huge false sense of security. An “alcoholic” is very firmly the person — the person is the problem. That’s not often said overtly, but “an alcoholic” is a specific human being with a condition, whereas alcohol by nature is addictive to all human beings. Studies have shown that with enough exposure in the right circumstance, anyone is going to become addicted to alcohol. You weren’t addicted before you drank, and you can’t become addicted to it if you don’t ingest it, so like the idea that it’s “us” and “them” really puts this false sense of security on the people who don’t consider themselves alcoholic. And it then necessitates hitting something like rock bottom, because if you think, “Okay, well I’m not an alcoholic, and I don’t need to go get treatment, then I don’t need to reconsider my drinking.”

If I’d waited until I had a really negative experience, until I felt like I was a real “alcoholic,” my drinking would have spiraled way, way further out of control. I saw the train that I was on, and I wanted to get off that train WAY before it got to the destination. It was such a terrifying place.

Yeah. The whole idea is like, giving people permission to opt out while they’re in the gray zone, instead of like, thinking they have to stay on the ride until they get into the red zone. That’s totally it.

I know you’re familiar with Allen Carr and his Quit Smoking / Quit Drinking books, and I was wondering what other things you’ve read that changed the way you think about alcohol. Allen Carr, yes. Also The Addictive Brain by Thad A. Polk. There’s also a book called Alcohol Explained , by William Porter, and I think that’s really good. And then ironically this book called Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection , by John E. Sarno, which informed how I think about a lot of this, and which I mention in This Naked Mind . And then I’ve gotten a lot from other things, like psychology writer Kelly McGonigal, she’s got two books — The Willpower Instinct and The Upside of Stress — that are really interesting. Not for alcohol specifically, but more for overall, about habit change.

For people who are drinkers and who may come across your books or this article, is there like a single sentence or thought that you want people to know about alcohol? This is going to sound pretty cliché, but that it’s not your fault, and you’re not alone.

When I was questioning my drinking, I felt like I didn’t fit in, in part because of that one friend who’d become sober herself but deemed me not an alcoholic. And I wasn’t really ready to admit my own problem either. I felt very alone in it, although as soon as I wrote the book [ This Naked Mind ], people started coming out of the woodwork. Thousands upon thousands of people who were saying, “This is what I struggled with, too.”

People who didn’t call themselves alcoholics but who nevertheless struggled with drinking. My mother-in-law was like, “I’ve never even seen you be drunk?” People I know were like, “What are you talking about, that doesn’t make sense?” My tolerance, I was pretty proud of it, ironically. But at that time, I felt very much like I was the only one questioning this, and that everyone else was on this happy-go-lucky path. And then even my boss, who originally had been like, “Why aren’t you going out with the rest of us from work?” — even he was like, “Wow, I thought you were keeping it together, now that you’ve given permission, we can all put it down,” and it was just this kind of revolutionary thing. But basically, if you’re questioning this, probably everybody in your social circle is questioning it, it’s certainly not just you.

And I think the other really important thing is that we stop this cycle of thinking like, “Okay, well, I’ve made one bad decision, so fuck it, I’m going to keep on making bad decisions, because what’s the point?”

The truth is that alcohol is addictive to any human beings that are made up of blood, flesh, bone, and cells. That’s the bottom line. It’s controversial to say it’s an addictive substance, but it’s the truth. It is an inherently addictive substance, and with the right level of exposure and in the right circumstances, any person will get addicted to it. Understanding this fact gives people a lot of freedom.

And then a third thing is that there is hope. For a long time, I felt very stuck between not wanting to be drinking as much as I was, but not having any idea how to undo it. And I could take a break — I could stop drinking Monday through Thursday, and then just drink on Friday and Saturday, but I’d feel miserable the whole time during the week. I’d feel deprived, I’d feel like I was missing out. I’d feel like I wasn’t having a good time. But once you get your thinking straight about that, the whole world changes. Everything else opens up.

If you go into sobriety without changing any of your thinking about alcohol, thinking, “Okay, but drinking is still awesome, everybody still loves it, and I’m the only one who doesn’t get to do it, poor me,” then sometimes you have to have, like, a decade of sober fun experiences to convince yourself otherwise. A decade of, “Oh, this concert is actually fun,” “Oh, this vacation is actually fun,” “Oh, this is actually good.”

But you can go into sobriety with a totally different mind-set. You can go into sobriety thinking, “I dodged that bullet, I feel bad for all the rest of you.” Maybe not that intense, but certainly I’ve had pity on people who are still trapped. I’d see them trapped and I’d remember where I was, and I’d be like, “Oh, I know that feeling, I’m so sorry.” But you can have a totally different experience if you have a mind-set shift around alcohol, 180 degrees.

Conversation has been lightly edited for clarity.

• annie grace
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The Alcohol Experiment: Expanded Edition: A 30-Day, Alcohol-Free Challenge to Interrupt Your Habits and Help You Take Control Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Now complete with daily prompts to reflect on each day of a monthlong alcohol-free plan, the author of This Naked Mind helps listeners challenge their thinking, find clarity, and form new habits.

Changing your habits can be hard without the right tools. This is especially true for alcohol because habits are, by definition, subconscious thought processes. Through her methodical research of the latest neuroscience and her own journey, Annie Grace has cracked the code on habit change by addressing the specific ways habits form. This unique and unprecedented method has now helped thousands redefine their relationship to drinking painlessly and without misery.

In The Alcohol Experiment , Annie offers a judgment-free action plan for anyone who's ever wondered what life without alcohol is like. The rules are simple: Abstain from drinking for 30 days and just see how you feel. Annie arms her listeners with the science-backed information to address the cultural and emotional conditioning we experience around alcohol. The result is a mindful approach that puts you back in control and permanently stops cravings.

With a chapter and journal prompt devoted to each day of the experiment, Annie presents wisdom, tested strategies, and thought-provoking information to supplement the plan and support your step-by-step success as you learn what feels good for you. It's your body, your mind, and your choice.

• Listening Length 8 hours and 29 minutes
• Author Annie Grace
• Narrator Annie Grace
• Audible release date December 31, 2018
• Language English
• Publisher Penguin Audio
• ASIN B07KX4TC3T
• Version Unabridged
• Program Type Audiobook
• See all details

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"... It is an amazing book . Also, let me just say, my husband's replacement drink along this journey has been sparkling water (San Pellegrino)...." Read more

"...I just completed 30 days. This book is really well done ...." Read more

Customers find the book easy to read and comprehend, with tools that are easy to understand and employ. They appreciate the logical approach and the format that keeps them on track.

"...She provides a lot of science and a lot of easy-to-understand analogys and explanations to help us see alcohol differently...." Read more

" Easy read . Clear categories to direct to sections of interest. Author figured how to accomplish goal her way." Read more

"...this book beause you need to read a chapter a day which makes it easy to use . I have been looking for this approach to drinking for quite a while...." Read more

"...I made it through thirty three days without alcohol, relatively easily . I like the journal prompts and the chapters are short...." Read more

Customers find the book motivational, supportive, and amazing. They say it's comforting to connect with people on the same journey. Readers also appreciate the daily support throughout the book.

"...So, the biggest difference between AA and this book is that I feel free ...." Read more

"...This book and its day by day lessons and encouragement were a good fit for me ...." Read more

"...It was inspiring and comforting to connect with people on the same journey as myself...." Read more

"...with alcohol is forever changed… have never felt better, felt more free , or more in control...." Read more

Customers find the book to be a good read. They mention it's broken down into bite-sized readings, and the chapters are short.

"...I like the journal prompts and the chapters are short . It does suggest against moderation...." Read more

" Great book broken down into bite sized readings so you don’t have to dedicate an hour everyday to reading...." Read more

"...The chapters are broken down to where you read one per day which I thought was great to keep engaged." Read more

"This is an awesome read . Really helped me be more insightful while drinking...." Read more

Customers find the book makes giving up alcohol less scary and more attainable. They say it totally changed their attitude about alcohol and made it easy for them to stop drinking.

"...never my goal- but I’m now 7+ months without drinking and zero desire to ever drink again ...." Read more

"...It has been so easy for me to stop drinking (evening drinker to relax) because it's just for 30 days...." Read more

"...I have no physical craving for alcohol ...." Read more

"...Not only do I feel healthier and more focused, my cravings have been dismissed . This 30-day detox was a game changer for me!..." Read more

Customers find the author non-judgmental and genuine. They say she has a way with words and never makes them feel judged. Readers also mention the book is factual and encouraging, not preachy.

"...She is non-judgmental and genuinely wants to help all who struggle. I have both the hardcopy and the audible version...." Read more

"...She has a way with words and you never feel judged ." Read more

"...But reading this book was a perfect start. She is so un-judgemental and well studied in this approach...." Read more

"...Fact based and encouraging, not at all preachy or judgmental ...." Read more

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Change your relationship with alcohol for good!

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The Alcohol Experiment: How to Take Control of Your Drinking and Enjoy Being Sober for Good Paperback – 31 Dec. 2018

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From the bestselling author of This Naked Mind

It’s YOUR body… It’s YOUR mind… It’s YOUR choice…

There are a million reasons why you might drink. It tastes great. You feel more sociable. Sex is better. It helps you relax.

But are you really in control?

Whether you’re reading this because you know you drink too much and want to quit, or whether you just want to cut back for a while, this book is for you.

The Alcohol Experiment is a 30-day programme with a difference. Each day, it will show you a new way of thinking about booze, and ask you to look a little closer at why we drink, what we get out of it, and whether it’s really the alcohol that’s giving us what we want.

In the bestselling This Naked Mind, Annie Grace offered a completely revolutionary solution to dependency, and a path to sobriety. Now, let Annie give you the tools you need to understand alcohol – whether or not it’s a problem. Packed with humour, patience and the latest research, try The Alcohol Experiment today, and take control of your drinking for good.

• Print length 256 pages
• Language English
• Publisher HQ
• Publication date 31 Dec. 2018
• Dimensions 15.3 x 2.1 x 23.4 cm
• ISBN-10 0008293473
• ISBN-13 978-0008293475
• See all details

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From the Publisher

Product description

‘Practical, down-to-earth and easy-to-engage-with’ Press Association

‘A wise, rational, uplifting exploration of drink, with sound and simple advice on taking control.’ Saga

Praise for This Naked Mind :

‘The book that changed my life.’

‘BUY IT. READ IT. IT WORKS.’

‘Impossible to exaggerate the power of this book.’

‘Inspirational.’

‘The most powerful book I’ve ever read.’

‘Not at all preachy.’

‘Totally changed my thinking.’

Book Description

30 days to take control, cut down or give up for good

About the Author

Annie Grace has had a unique life from the very beginning. She grew up in a one-room cabin without running water or electricity in the mountains of Colorado and then, at age 26, became the youngest vice president in a multinational corporation. Success, however, led to excessive drinking and the possibility that she might lose everything. Annie recognized her problem but chose to approach it in an entirely new way. Annie's program has been featured in Forbes, the New York Daily News, and the Chicago Tribune. Annie is successful, happy, and alcohol-free and lives with her husband and three children in the Colorado mountains.

Find out more at thisnakedmind.com/blog/

If you’re looking support in your journey visit thisnakedmind.com for additional resources and next steps or sign up for Annie’s weekly newsletter at thisnakedmind.com/reader

Why not commit to thirty days alcohol free? Join Annie for a thirty-day “Alcohol Experiment” at alcoholexperiment.com

Product details

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ HQ (31 Dec. 2018)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0008293473
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0008293475
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.3 x 2.1 x 23.4 cm
• 305 in Alcoholism Health Issues
• 676 in Drinks & Beverages (Books)
• 1,568 in Popular Psychology

About the author

Annie grace.

Annie Grace grew up in a one-room log cabin without running water or electricity outside of Aspen, Colorado. She discovered a passion for marketing and after graduating with a Masters of Science (Marketing) she dove into corporate life. At the age of 26, Annie was the youngest vice president in a multinational company, and her drinking career began in earnest. At 35, in a global C-level marketing role, she was responsible for marketing in 28 countries and drinking almost two bottles of wine a night. Knowing she needed a change but unwilling to submit to a life of deprivation and stigma, Annie set out to find a painless way to regain control. Annie no longer drinks and has never been happier. She left her executive role to write this book and share This Naked Mind with the world. In her free time, Annie loves to ski, travel (26 countries and counting), and enjoy her beautiful family. Annie lives with her husband and three children in the Colorado mountains.

Customer reviews

• 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star 5 star 74% 15% 7% 2% 2% 74%
• 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star 4 star 74% 15% 7% 2% 2% 15%
• 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star 3 star 74% 15% 7% 2% 2% 7%
• 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star 2 star 74% 15% 7% 2% 2% 2%
• 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star 1 star 74% 15% 7% 2% 2% 2%

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Customers say

Customers find the book very informative, superbly researched, and eye-opening. They describe it as a wonderful, enjoyable read that helps them reflect on their drinking habits. Readers also mention the book is easy to understand, follow, and digest. Additionally, they appreciate the non-judgmental tone.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

Customers find the book very informative and superbly researched. They say it's an excellent self-help guide and helps them to self-reflect and consider their journey. Readers also mention the experiences in the book help align their minds with their ambitions. They say the advice is practical but not preachy, and encourages them to do their own thing.

"...I think the 30 day Alcohol Experiment is a perfect introduction and a great many people will want to carry on doing themselves a real favour." Read more

"...Its great to be alcohol free . Don’t miss it now- maybe have urge for 5 mins at beginning of meal out but I just notice that and then it passes...." Read more

"...and the wisdom and shared experiences in this book helped my mind align with my ambitions ...." Read more

" Very informative and supports my decision to stop drinking. Day 13 now! The narrator while good is robotic in a lot of places...." Read more

Customers find the book wonderful, enjoyable, and brilliant. They say it's worth a try and excellent for sober people. Readers also mention that the book is practical but not preachy.

"...This is just another great book with masses of superbly researched information on alcohol, as is 'This Naked Mind'...." Read more

"A great, highly recommended read . Beforehand I drank beer nearly every day, whether due to boredom, stress or both...." Read more

"... Worth a read ." Read more

" Brilliant book . Has completely changed my perspective...." Read more

Customers find the book helpful in reflecting on their drinking habits. They say it's informative and supports their decision to stop drinking. Readers mention the book breaks down the physical and mental effects of alcohol. They also say it questions why they are drinking and why their bodies react in a planned way.

"...For the first time in all the years I have known him, he has zero interest in drinking ...." Read more

"...It really worked. I'm now 35 days without even craving alcohol . This book questions why you are drinking and why you body react in a planned way...." Read more

"...I found was the suggestion that it was just an experiment, no orders to stop drinking , and the way in which the author breaks down the physical and..." Read more

"...By explaining all the biological and psychological facts in a clear , no-nonsense manner, the author's advice has helped me to achieve this goal...." Read more

Customers find the book very easy to read, understand, and follow. They say it's well-written and interesting. Readers also appreciate the clear, no-nonsense manner of the facts.

"...breaks down the physical and mental effects of alcohol is very easy to understand ...." Read more

"...all the biological and psychological facts in a clear, no-nonsense manner , the author's advice has helped me to achieve this goal...." Read more

"...Annie is definitely a leading author and expert in this field...." Read more

"...Annie has a fantastic style of writing which gets the point across in a very easy to understand format...." Read more

Customers find the judging style non-judgmental.

"... Non judgemental , Annie Grace delivers in such a way that makes you realise for yourself what you're doing to your body, lets face it, you can't..." Read more

"A must read. Changed my relationship with alcohol in a non judging way . Highly reccomend." Read more

"I love the non-judgemental tone of this book . A real winner." Read more

"Fantastic book, great concept and a non judgemental approach to change the mindset in relation to alcohol..." Read more

Customers say the book works. They mention they're now 35 days without even craving alcohol.

"... It really worked . I'm now 35 days without even craving alcohol. This book questions why you are drinking and why you body react in a planned way...." Read more

"...This book worked amazingly for me . I was drinking a bottle of red a night and had been for the last 20 years or so. Give it a try...." Read more

" This works !..." Read more

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